"My real name is"

i vote to add optional name and gender!
dori-NOTmartha ;)

I vote for the optional name... most that know me post using my real name anyway..

I think it is totally confusing when people use a first name and NOT the user name. Case in point http://davesgarden.com/forums/t/540204/

I could probably guess who this birthday message was for if I researched the Birthday List, but who is going to go to that much trouble??? The first posting didn't even use a name, but then some of the other postings referred to Jackie. How many Jackies are there who visit the Brug forum. I don't know I would have to visit the 'sticky thread" and do a search on "Jackie" to find out then cross-reference that to the birthday list. That is just too much trouble, DG is suppose to be a pleasure for me, not a guessing game.

Some people don't even give their city/state i.e. the person who started the above thread doesn't give a city, which really makes for curious thoughts.

I think DG should make a rule against use of "Real Names" lists period. If a person wishes to sign their postings with their name or use it as their DG name, fine but never should a posting reference a person by their given name without giving their "DG Name". The "old timers" who think it's "cute" to call people by a first name when it is not part of their DG Name only confuse the new members or a person who does not frequent that Forum often, making the forum a "private party" not open to the general public, i.e. other subscribers of DG.

Just my opinion!!!

Judy

This message was edited Aug 28, 2005 3:04 AM

BTW , Joan6---That wasn't meant to be a 'link'--I just was talking about the "w o r l d w i d e w e b" and it hyperlinked on me!

I know some people can use their names and locations/addresses on open forums and feel secure, others lead more public lives and are in different situations and can't do it, or don't feel comfortable doing it.

We use user names in our family because of past experiences with snoopy, crafty people who have taken advantage. Not necessarily credit card issues, but privacy issues.

Of course, when you see a DG friend walking down the street you can always call them by their given name I would think.

I would just like to thank Tabasco for saying so rationally what I have been trying to put into words and have not been able to. Even though I have always been a naturally cautious person I, too, have had unpleasant past experiences on the internet. DG has been my first foray back into the web after an absence due in part to these situations.

My other concern is that I don't want to be perceived as a person who is unfriendly or trying to hide something because I don't choose to display a real name. I really like DG and don't want to be perceived that way. If the majority of people start to use real names then the ones who don't (me) have the potential to appear as not part of the normal group.

I for one would never think anything negativ if a person dont put the real FIRST name or gender in the info. for me it is more a mental state when I adress another member on DG. because lets face it men and women se things differently. but I would adress them in the tread with their username so others would not be confused of hom I adress.
best reg
Janett

arachide, After 4-5 tries I managed to highlight your username so I could post it here. I do this so you know this is for you. Why didn't I just type it. Well, I could have, but I've got into the C/P habit because some of the usernames are real tongue-twisters.

So if we don't use real names, then maybe Dave can make usernames easier to copy.

A long thread gets mighty confusing when people are answering back and forth, and they don't address their messages to the person they mean if for.

Joan

To put it quite simply, if you want to publish your real first name, do so. If you don't, then don't. I don't think anyone so far has been or felt offended for not having a persons first name.

I think it's good to have an option.

Thanks,
Molly

I have followed this thread almost from the beginning. Most of my thoughts are for given first names to ne optional.

BUT, JudyCooksey struck a chord when she mention that using given names if you know them makes newbies feel outside the group. I see this all the time in Chat and I am guilty of it.

Obviously I don't have any problems with using my real name (also obviously, I'm not nearly as creative as most of you!!) I just wanted to address arachide's concern that if someone doesn't choose to use their real name other people might feel they didn't want to be a "part of the group." It really doesn't bother me at all that, say, Darius (not to pick on you, but you are a great example of this! :-) ) chooses to say that she is "In the mountains" and not to say what town she is near. If you don't exercise your option (should there be one in the future) to use your real name, I don't expect anyone is going to feel slighted or feel like you are holding us at arm's length. You are here and are contributing (or even if you are just lurking and learning), and you are a part of US. Adding real names doesn't make you any more or less that. The internet is NOT a completely safe place and it is very wise to be very careful and even a bit paranoid.

~ Marylyn

Thanks, Marylyn_TX. You understood what I was trying to say but possibly not expressing very clearly :) I especially like your reminder that everyone here is a part of US. Thanks for that.

I do understand why many people think this is a good option, hence my hesitation to even post my concerns. Would I sound like a whiner or someone just out to put a damper on everyone's good time? But that is one of the many great things about DG, we can express ourselves and people make an effort to understand why we say what we do, even if they hold a different opinion.

To ALL,

I'm from Canada, as my username indicates.

Regards, Joan



This message was edited Aug 29, 2005 6:27 AM

This message was edited Aug 29, 2005 6:28 AM

I use the name of my cat Kami, the kid is just added because Elaine was not available. I would probably keep that name and sign Elaine to my posts. My 2 cents worth.

Folks, look on the other side... there is an incredible thread ongoing now about Hurricane Katrina http://davesgarden.com/forums/t/540994/ and all the DG folks in Harm's Way.

There are even emergency phone numbers posted so we can know if DG members have survived the devastation of this deadly storm, and many offers of safe shelter.

This is about people who have posted first names and become friends we care about.

I am listed in the phone book, but they spelled it wrong. It is interesting to see all the junk mail I get with the wrong spelling.

I prefer knowing a little info about people that I respond to. It sometimes helps.

trois/AKA/ trois/ M

My name is spelled correctly in the phone book and I get tons of misspelled mail. LOL

I agree trois, about a little info, that way you are not suggesting a 70 yr old woman build a pergola for her vines to climb. LOL
Claire

hey, I'm 32 and my 82 year old mamaw would do a much better job on a pergola than I would lol

My name is unusual, and the misspelling is even more unique. They spelled it troif, which is how most of my junk mail is addressed.
I guess I should have said a 74 year OLD man did the pergola. The vines have reached the top and blooming has started. The plants are crossing over to the opposite side. They are never satisfied.
trois/AKA/trois/M

Hey trois;
you a mess lol !
-
Personally I'll never be 74. When my 70th passed in Feb I decided, no more till 80 lol.

Regarding getting mail; In the various states I'll lived in their has always been several with my exact name. Once with the exact address but a different street.

Reminds me of that song 'the common man'

As for me, probably like many others too, I find it confusing to match screen names to real names. Perhaps there could be a separate directory available only to subscribed members where a table can list out real names -- of course, those who are willing to reveal them can enter there. I tried to make a list myself and keep in my pocket to refer. But it failed for me - became too much. Just a passing thought.

DInu

Personally, I like the thought of having an option, if you want use it, if not, don't... It should be very simple.. I like to know other's names and where they are, just for my own personal self..If other's choose not to use the option, that's fine.I don't see the big deal for folks, if it's gonna be optional..

Larkie

I also as some others have said did not realize that the username would be so important, so just put my Mothers name down. Then when I found out that changing a user name is not easy I started signing my real name with an S as there are many Donnas . I really don't care how I am addressed, just personally like to know real names, gender doesn't really matter either.

DonnaS

Hey rutholive
aka
DonnaS

If some ugly old bearded man shows up at ya house begging for cobbler, you'll know who he is. Lol.........

That truck driving son of mine got through Interstate 12 @ Slidell La and ran I-10 to Fl jus before the worse happen. He's on his way back but running a different route.

Holy cow, trois, didn't realize you had that many years of experience. LOL
Claire

Hey Charlie, glad your truckdriver son made it safely. My oldest son lives in Baton Rouge, when i talked him Sat. he thought everything would be okay, but expected to be without electricity.

You are welcome anytime, Blackberries still going good, made a Blackberry Slump for my youngest son and his son . They are coming from the coast to spend a couple of days, I thing coming Thursday.

DonnaS

Yep!

trois

Yes

You know, we can be paranoid about our real name(s)..if that's a problem don't reveal it. I haven't put a first name since my DG name is my last name . No real concern, but is an optional. The whole issue is..like seeing a post from Gardenwife I like thinking this is Kim, seeing a post from Terry I know who she is, but if someone chooses to remain silent about their real name then it's okay too. I think the option is great if it brings us together more easily and we wish to share that information. If we leave it to each member it will resolve the question. Gender also should be the same option, entirely up to the subscriber!