No more Lawns!

Grass Discussion regarding lawns.....

GOD: St. Francis, you know all about gardens and
nature. What in the world is going on down there in
the USA? What happened to the dandelions, violets,
thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had a
perfect, no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants
grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and
multiply. The nectar from the long lasting blossoms
attracts butterflies, honeybees and flocks of
songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors
by now. But all I see are these green rectangles


ST. FRANCIS: It's the tribes that settled there,
Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your
flowers weeds and went to great lengths to kill them
and replace them with grass.

GOD: Grass? But it's so boring. It's not
colorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and
bees, only grubs and sod worms. It's temperamental
with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want
all that grass growing there?

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great
pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each
spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other
plant that crops up in the lawn.

GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably
make grass grow really fast. That must make the
Suburbanites happy.

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it
grows a little, they cut it, sometimes twice a week.

GOD: They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?

ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly Lord. Most of them rake
it up and put it in bags.

GOD: They bag it? ; Why? Is it a cash crop? Do
they sell it?

ST. FRANCIS: No, sir -- just the opposite. They
pay to throw it away.

GOD: Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize
grass so it will grow and when it does grow, they cut
it off and pay to throw it away?

ST. FRANCIS: Yes, sir.

GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the
summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the
heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a
lot of work.

ST. FRANCIS: You aren't going to believe this,
Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag
out hoses and pay more money to water it so they can
continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.

GOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the
trees. That was a sheer stoke of genius, if I do say
so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to
provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn
they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to
keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and
bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves form compost to
enhance the soil. It's a natural circle of life.

ST. FRANCIS: You'd better sit down, Lord. The
Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the
leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay
to have them hauled away.

GOD: No. What do they do to protect the shrub and
tree roots in the winter and to keep the soil moist
and loose?

ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they
go out and buy something which they call mulch. They
haul it home and spread it around in place of the
leaves.

GOD: And where do they get this mulch?

ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up
to make the mulch.

GOD: Enough! I don't want to think about this
anymore. St.Catherine, you're in charge of the arts.
What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?

ST. CATHERINE: Dumb and Dumber, Lord. It's a real
stupid movie about...

GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole
story from St. Francis.

Lawn is going quick here - yep makes really little logic to keep green grass around....

Dear God, we here at Dave's Garden are doing our best to help you out. First we have a group http://davesgarden.com/forums/t/467438/ where we are trying to restore terra firma to flowers and other host for Bees, Butterflies, Frogs and Hummers.
I particularily want to thank You for the little toad I saw in my garden last night. You can send as many as You think needed.
your humble servant and garden tender,
sidney

It is a great shame, but our HOA insists we have at least 60% of the front down to lawn!
The back now - well the easment strip is still lawn 'cos I'm not allowed big stuff there but the rest is coming on just fine as flowers and shrubs and trees. The birds and butterflies are moving in too which is a great joy.
a quote I love: "You are nearer God's heart in a garden than anywhere else on Earth"

Thank God I dont have a HOA! I took out 60% already and working on the rest!

That grass is lawn gone at my house! Well, I keep the back for the dogs and I have grass paths between the beds, but flowers rule.

I'm trying to find some practical ways of getting rid of the entire lawn. It's disconcerting when the lawn ends up growing right back into a recently made flower bed.

Same here - keep pulling away - and hope they give up in time!

Lasagne gardening is the best way I know of and it requires alot of newspaper. I did it in a small area and the results are great so far.
Put down 12 sheet stacks of wet newspaper to cover weeds, grass and anything else.
I topped that with purchased gardensoil and compost to about 6" deep.
Then I hurriedly planted a 100 or so Hosta liners.
Haven't seen anything growing there that I didn't plant.
There are many forums that discuss this and they can be found at http://davesgarden.com/forums/search.php?q=Lasagne
sidney

DH has worked on our yard for the 20yrs he's lived in this house (I joined the pic 15 yrs ago). Now that he's older, he doesn't really like to mow, but sure can fertilize, water, weed, etc to keep it growing strong. We have a great looking, very large, very green, yard and apparently I've been elected to be the mower! ( I'm a stay at home mom). Its great exercise mowing with our push mower but I'm ready to REALLY expand my flower beds. When he gripes about the yard needing to be mowed, I tell him if it was up to me, there would be very little grass to mow and lots of flowers to admire instead...but he's a golfer and loves his greens!!

Oh, bluekat, loved that conversation between God and St Francis. I printed it up to share at my next Master Gardeners meeting!...so true!!

I am usually the first to delete all the jokes and forwards that end up in my inbox but this one caught my attention. You can thank my mom for that forward:)

-Kim

This message was edited Sep 5, 2005 7:15 PM

Hi Prairie - I completely forgot about your post and then I thought it was a Dmail and couldn't find it. Yes, I am blonde. I have been by there a few times, they are just a few miles from my house. It is a pretty big company and I see lots of trucks driving around. Is it a seasonal job or did they want you to move?

-Kim