Plants that are left to rot or go unused?

Ever given away a great plant or separated a plant for that whiny wanna be gardener, only to find out they forgot about it or never got around to planting it? Maybe I'm too sensitive but that irks me, I've closed the circle on sharing cuttings. I've divided and split gorgeous perrenials only to get that laugh " oh I forgot all about that thing, can I have more?" Anyone else or should I just shut up?

I've been lucky with my neighbors. They usually have the things I give them doing great or more or less hanging on.

But yes, I see your frusteration. It'd be like giving away a jewel and it goes unpolished, sitting in a sock drawer.

This message was edited Jun 19, 2005 11:00 PM

Oh I feel your frustration! My very good friend is always asking for plants to kill, she's killed at least 20 ... It would be one thing if she [i]tried[/i] to keep them alive and they died, I wouldn't be so upset but when I tell her to put the spider plants etc. up high because cats love them and she tells me 'oh the cat ate it' .... or 'oh I forgot all about those and they died...' then she asks for more.....grrrr I feel sheepish about feeling that way but I find myself making excuses more and more these days when she asks for plants.....

Oh, it happens. I write off the habitual plant killers, or give them seeds, which are generally much easier to part with than big hunks of plants I have tended and known and know will just end up dead under someone else's tender neglect. Some people just don't get it! Yes, there are plants that you can dump on top of the ground and a week later they will have taken off and be happy, but that isn't a gardening habit I would encourage! Next time they ask for a plant, just hand over the part of the seed box that has all those things that you can't give away - poppies, cosmos, zinnias, you know the ones that grow and grow and put out seeds by the bazillion. Maybe after actually planting the seed and watching it grow and really need some care, they will reform. Or, for a wonderful gift you could give them some nice silk plants . . .

I used to be the "HPK". Now, if I don't get it going good (or it DIES), I just use my head and don't TELL them about it! But usually, I get it planted, and tell them how beautiful it looks in my garden, then they give me some more digging opportunities, and I give them seed for things they don't have...

I have been known to kill plants I bought, but never got around to planting. I don't think I've done that to a plant that was given to me, although not every pass-along has made it. (And a few were a little too rambunctious for my garden, and eventually got shovel-pruned, along with plants I've bought and grown from seed.)

Because I feel awful throwing away money on plants that ruin before they get set out, I've made a concerted effort to always have a general spot in mind for all purchases, and then get them planted as soon as possible after I get them home. (The two flats each of daylilies and hostas waiting on a new home don't count ;o)

I have a 2fer rule. You kill the first one with neglect you get one more. If that one is mistreated you don't get any more from me. I am pretty vocal about it too. I tell em up front. These are my children, treat them right and you will always get more. If you don't want to take the time to care for it properly don't take it. That being said I am always willing to help a newbie gardener that is needing help. Its the leaving the thing on the kitchen table or on the bar-b-q to cook to 2 weeks that really gets to me.

What I have a problem with is when someone gets a plant from me and doesn't treat it right - like burying iris rhizomes deep like bulbs go - and then looking at me with a furrowed brow and saying,'those iris you gave me didn't come up!'.

Did you plant them how I told you?

No.

Then that is why!

Oh.

And they walk away...
::sigh:: unfortunately this is my sister.

However, I owe her about 2 or 3 dead plant incidents because the flowers she brought me when I was sick after surgery my DH let die - beautiful hydrangeas ! Ugh! I was so upset.

He also let the plant that I have had since 1997 from my mother's funeral die. I don't know what he did to it while I was away but when I came back it croaked and never revived. :( I babied that thing for all those 8 years, moving from place to place...

Oh well
There are, thank God, more plants in the world!

Also more DHs ! Sorry, ,just a bad joke but I couldn't resist : )). Actually my DH is ,shall we say, gardening-challenged, but I wouldn't swap him for anything.

So many co-workers come crying about an area they want to "fill in" with plants, I dig up plants, take the time to lug them in to work and they tell me later they left them in the bag and they dried up, I don't offer plants anymore to anyone. I bought and suggested to someone where to put a rose, they insisted the 3 hrs of morning sun was more than enough, complained about it not growing and flowering, I replanted it this year where I told her to put it 2 years ago and Shazam! It's 3 feet high and blooming. Some people really do want you to do all the work with the plants for free. I only share with gardeners now.

lol. This makes me laugh that I am not the only one.

I just got done digging up about 25 plants last month (that I was replacing with a wider variety of plants I purchased mail order ...yippee) and gave them to the neighbor across the road that had been bugging for plants for a while. I lugged them over and set them in the shadiest spot they had and told them to get them planted right away (tonight/tomorrow morning) and then baby them with water for a month or two.

Well I watched them sit in their bags and turn crispy fried over the next two weeks....gurrrr.

When they asked for more I claimed I had no more to give and left it at that. Poor plants. :(

There's is some difference between being not green-thumbed and just not attempting. I second "poor plants", and poor you guys for going through the energy and money. It's always easier to ask for a freebie than it is to care for one.

We have three neighbors that I give (or used to) plants to. One does plant them, another one plants them like you'd bury a dead mouse (dig a hole, don't amend it, throw in the plant and if it lives it's great) and then the third one, who is a Master Gardner, mind you:
she let one plant die in the pot after wanting it so much,
she let one Franklinia tree that she bought die because it would take time to plant it but they were headed off to Germany and didn't have the time to plant it,
she planted a 'Joseph's Coat' in shade and is disappointed with it.

I want to be generous but only one of the three takes the time so that one must have received at least 45 of our daylilies over the last three years with another 45 coming this year.

I'm personally hurt and offended when the plants they want so much end up dead or struggling.

It's more annoying yet when one friend, who received an entire garden from us (with us doing all the digging here and replanting in her garden - even with a color scheme) moved and never took one piece of one daylily or the Love Pat hosta and her name is Pat. Now she's asking me to dig again and ship upstate: as ButterflyChaser advised me, when I asked her, I'll just tell her "I do one house per lifetime for a friend and you used yours". Blunt, yes! Necessary to save my gardening heart? Yes!

good for you pirl!

Yes, you are definitely not alone, and it does tend to hurt your feelings. Especially if it is something you've lovingly nurtured from seed, or cutting.

It happens to me quite a lot. I try to shy away from those people and try to just give to other gardeners, but find it hard to stick to it...
Gardeners are a gracious bunch, and we can't help but want to share, and share our love of gardening.

Sometimes you get burned, but every now and then you turn someone new onto gardening, and change their lives...that one in a dozen, makes all the "dead gifts" suddenly worth while...

:)