Desperate Plantwives

Pirl,

Too funny. Friend of mine had a husband like that, so she 'got rid of' the couch, thinking it would solve the problem. He just piled up in bed so you guessed it, she 'got rid of' the bed ..... let him take it with him when she 'got rid of' him. lol lol

How funny!! When my two oldest toddlers were two and three, and I was 8/9ths through my third, my neighbor and I were having coffee, with our feet up, and her two toddlers were playing with mine in the kitchen. They were really having a good time, laughing and giggling. Little did we know they had put the plug in the kitchen sink, and turned on the taps to make a waterfall. Two inches of water on the kitchen floor, being an old house, it kind of sagged in the middle.....talk about two frantic mothers mopping with every available towel...the landlady lived right below me and I had visions of her kitchen ceiling falling in!!! From that point on we had coffee in the same room with the little geniuses.

Pirl, too bad you don't have it on video. You could win the prize on America's Funniest Home Videos. All this talk about mix up reminds me of the urban legend about the old lady:

This story takes place in (where else?) San Francisco. A happy, hip, happening woman living in SF has to endure a visit from her mother, a prim and proper matronly sort from somewhere in the Midwest. The mother is in the throes of menopause, apparently very cranky and physically uncomfortable, what with hot flashes and the like, and the daughter, in an effort to help but probably also to get Mom out of the house for awhile, suggests that the mother visit her gynecologist.

Mom is not fond of the idea of visiting a gynecologist in a strange city. But after the daughter assures her that the man is thoughtful, kind, humorous and sweet and implores her to go just to make sure everything is okay, the mother reluctantly assents and makes an appointment.

The morning of the appointment, mother is VERY nervous and in preparation takes a shower AND a bath, deodorant head to toe, FDS vaginal spray, the whole nine yards, and heads to the gynecologist.

So. Mom's in the stirrups, the doctor's mucking about down there, and he looks up, fixes her with a funny smile and says, "Looks like we've got ourselves a PARTY GIRL!!"

Mother is shocked, to say the least. "What... what did you say??!!!"

He grins even wider. "I said, 'Looks like we've got ourselves a PARTY GIRL!'" and this is accompanied by a smirk and a wink. Mom is flabbergasted and doesn't utter another word for the balance of the exam, hastily dresses and runs out while avoiding his glance.

Later that evening, the daughter returns home from work, inquires how the appointment went, and the mother says, "You have a very rude doctor! He called me a party girl!"

"A what?"

"A party girl!" Mom is sniffling now. "Why would he call me that?"

"I don't know, it's very out of character for him..." the daughter puzzles. "There must be some reason. Think back. Did you say anything, maybe?"

"No!" The mother bristles. "I didn't say anything like that!"

"Come on, think back. What did you do before the appointment?"

"Well," the mother sniffs, "I was VERY conscientious with my hygiene. I took a bath AND a shower, I used your deodorant and FDS — I hope you don't mind — and then I got dressed, and..."

"Mom!" the daughter interrupts. "Mom, I don't have any FDS."

The mother is silent. They both head to the bathroom where the mother points out what she mistook for FDS. It wasn't. It was orange glitter hair spray from the previous Halloween.

The moral being: Read the label? LOL!!!

Susan

Imagine the stories these doctors could tell! When I first suspected I might be pregnant I called the gyn and went in for our first meeting and my first ever gynecological exam. I got up on the table as instructed, after taking my clothes off, as instructed. He came in, got under the covering and said "You still have on your panties"! I was very huffy and said "I've never had to take off my underpants for any doctor"!

Our former neighbor, Bud, was a gyn but had started out to be a dentist. His very first "patient" was some poor girl who had never brushed her teeth in her life and when she opened her mouth he was repulsed and said that was when he decided to by a Gyn. I said to him, "I hope SHE wasn't your first patient".

On this Memorial Day it brings me back 12 years ago when Bud was still alive and his wife, the pediatrician, Dorothy, would go through this beautiful tribute to America each day in carrying out the flag and raising it. Then she was 84 and he was 89. I mentioned to her a few days before that I'd like to take some photos of their morning ritual. I did 12 years ago today. He didn't feel well over the next week and died June 11th. She still treasures those photos and I have one in the living room. God Bless America and a prayer goes to all our fallen heroes and their families!

Amen!!!

Thanks, Judy. I was hoping someone would agree with my sentiments and post it. I appreciate it.

Just checking in to say happy Memorial Day to everyone! Am busy hopping between the computer and the kitchen ... trying to keep up with everything on DG and get my lupper fixed. And ... NO that's not a typo! Lupper is a meal around 3:00 ... a cross between lunch and supper! Hey Pirl ... you are lucky you had a basement to sweep those suds in! If you lived way down south ... you'd just have to sweep them out in the yard. Y'all have a blessed day! ... Elaine

Amen, most of us don't have basements. Is that because the watertable is so high???

Everyone have a good time today!!!

Judy

The house was a beautiful old English Tudor and the kitchen had a dinette on the rigtht side, with French doors leading out to a screened in porch. The cellar door was in the dinette opposite the French doors. On the left side of the kitchen was a half bathroom, and a mud room with a door to the garage and another out the back. ALL THE FLOORS WERE CLEAN BY THE TIME I WAS DONE!

lol lol

I tell one more tale on myself and that's it.

Years ago I had a Doberman who was really high strung. I had people coming into the house to purchase items I didn't want to move and he just got beside himself and wet in the house. Something he had never done. For the move, my vet gave me some tranquilizers for him. I put them in my purse.

Months later, while talking on the phone I reached into my purse for my medicine and about the time I had it washed down I realized it was one of Dobie's transquilizers. Not knowing any vets I rushed to my Uncle's house and ask him if he would call his, to see what effect the pill would have on me. In no time at all my Uncle was laughing too much, finally he gave the phone to me.

The vet, his friend, told me I should be OK just drink a couple of cups of coffee or go to bed and sleep it off.... but should I start hiking my leg or chasing cars to call him back.



This message was edited May 30, 2005 6:33 PM

That's really funny. Glad there were no serious repercussions.

I think it's hilarious: did you eat from a bowl on the floor for awhile?

So did you chew on rawhide too? Too funny, LOL.

OK so one more.

I have the worlds skinniest legs and arms. I never ever wear shorts. I was at a party one night and the local plastic surgeon with talking about all the silicone injections he had been doing. I raised up my pant let and ask "How about some injections in these?" He put his arm around my shoulder and said "Hon just your luck it would drop and you would have 44 D ankles.




This message was edited May 30, 2005 6:38 PM

I once worked with an overly well endowed gal. She said, "You don't know what pain is until you're running up the stairs and you trip on your nipple".
OUCH!

lol lol lol

*I'm laughin and holding my chest at the same time boy that's funny but just makes ya wince thinking about it.

Just thought of Marilyn Monroe. She'll be gone 43 years soon. I wish someone would do those photo jobs to show what she would have looked like at almost 80, and James Dean and of course Elvis and even JFK. Interesting?

Elvis...*sigh* My Mom was a HUGE Elvis fan and made my sister and I into ones as well. I can remember going to a concert in Huntsville, Alabama when I was about 7 or so and sitting in a packed hall waiting for him to come on stage. My DM who had friends that had seen him in another city had told her at about what part of the song and from where he would enter so she had her glasses trained on that spot..not a peep was being said as the drums played his intro (2001 Space Od I think) and all of a sudden you hear my DM SCREAM OH MY GAWD THERE HE IS! I could have died and crawled under the seat. But it was a great concert and to this day I love him.

Vernon Presley lived next door to my sister-in-law when she was growing up. Many times Elvis would be visiting and come out into the backyard to talk over the fence with her.

Linda Johnson, his last girlfriend, is a 2nd cousin and he would send a cadillac convertable over to pick up my Great Aunt so she could come visit.

We saw him many times riding his horses in the side-yard at Graceland and at the Southland Mall about closing time.

Many people we were acquainted with were in his outer circle of friends.

When he was a youngster he would go to the cleaners that my Mother-in-law managed, with his one string guitar and just spend time there.

Carl Perkins was my cousin's Uncle.

BUT I wasn't around any of the famous, they were just familar conversation!!!

Melt melt *big sigh*

I went to grammar school and high school with a girl whose father was part of the production staff for the Steve Allen show and when Elvis was set to appear on the Steve Allen show, her father brought her into the city with him. She and Elvis chatted in the green room and afterwards he took her out for ice cream. We were about 14 or 15 and in high school at the time. We teased her about where she got his autograph! ***Sigh*** Still love him.

This message was edited May 31, 2005 12:37 AM

Never mind Elvis.....Carl Perkins was the man....he was the inspiration for the Beatles' many songs. One of my all time favorite singers and I'm not even a country music fan....!

Can't say I'm a Perkins fan..never really paid him much attention and I'm not a huge country fan either. I'll do a little Garth, Big & Rich, Cowboy Troy, Tim McGraw..

Anyone know of TG Shepard?? He's a 2nd cousin and I can't carry a tune, lol lol

Hey TG Shepard? Are you kidding? Of course I've heard of him! Wow, I'm not kin to anybody famous... or even know anybody famous. I met Ray Charles several years ago, though. It was just the DH, me his body guard and him. Real nice not having all those people around. Very personal.

Cool!!!

Yeah ... the only reason I got to meet him was ... he came to my town for a concert and they wanted to present him with a "town proclomation". I was the only one who knew Braille! *smile*

You can certainly tell the old timers from the babes in the woods. I'm still stuck on Elvis, Frank Sinatra and the guy with the pointy hair.....Rod Stewart. I even have Vera Lynn's CD's - anyone remember her?

I've seen her in old movies..English lady, correct? And I might like Better than Ezra, Black Eyed Peas, Big & Rich but I can also sing along with any Elivs, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Everly Brothers and Sammy Davis Jr. Song out. *G*

Of course you're right Pirl ... there's nobody like Elvis! Gosh ... remember him in that white suit? But how bout the Righteous Brothers, or Bobby Vinton or Frankie Valley?

Gosh, my only contact with a celebrity was when I knocked one down, LOL.

I was a senior in high school and photographer for our marching band, who was invited to be part of the half-time show for the big Orange Bowl football game. There is a small private elevator up to the press box, and I had set up my equipment up there, only to realize I left something in the car.

I did a mad dash to the elevator, and when it opened on the ground floor, I barrelled out the door, not anticipating any more passengers because it was just about game time, right into Harry Belafonte who was to sing the national anthem, knocking him right down to the ground. I was SO embarrassed and he was very gracious in accepting my apologies.

I was 15 feet away from the elevator before I realized WHO I had knocked down, LOL.

Oh Gracious!!!! That was definitely contact!!! lol lol

Judy

Well, I know this won't excite many of you but I did meet Arthur Fiedler of the Boston Pops fame and asked him if I might take his photograph. He not only agreed but asked if I'd go back with him so I could get a photo of he and his wife. Such a gentleman.

Only famous people I've ever met or known are either football players(Bo Jackson), basketball players (Charles Barkley) or Lionel Richie.

Pirl,

Way to go, when EP visits don't tell anyone!!! .....please

Judy

Yeah Pirl, I'd be REAL careful who I told about that! Hey, but you can tell me ... I believe you. * big smile *

I thought Elvis always hangs out at the Mall.....................................

Hi Molly - we're "mall less" here in Southold. We have to travel 22 miles for one so it saves DH money. I'm now wearing sweatshirt quality shorts that he bought for himself in Florida, back in 1990. Now they fit me: he didn't like them - no zipper!

Maybe I'll thrill the gals at the Post Office and bring Elvis there to see the locals!
He can scratch his seams for me anytime!

Arlene