Whats wrong with MY beer?

Got slugs in my coldframe,snackin' on the little plants.Once again at the urging of others, I set up the bar for the evening and served Miller lite.That night,all over the town,slugs were bellying up to bar,puttin' quarters in the jukebox,having the time of their lives.
But in my little tavern,I sat all night,elbows on the bar,watchin' the door,polishing glasses,the neon "OPEN" sign buzzing quietly-and not one customer,not one.
Oh I could hear them,all right.Tires crunching in the gravel parking lot as they pulled in,laughing and talking,doors slamming.They'd get as far as the door.Turn. Leave.
Could hear their radios fading away as they took off down the road.

Finally,as the smoky grey light of dawn nudged the fly specked window,I trudged over and shut off the "OPEN" sign. Another long night......sigh
Whats wrong with MY beer?

Was the container easy to crawl into? Was it plastic or glass and not metal?
Have you tried the yeast and sugar water mixture instead of beer? That way you can drink the beer and give the slugs the cheap stuff! The recipe is 4 teaspoons sugar, 4 teaspoons yeast and mix in 1/2 gallon of tepid(not hot) water.
Forgot to ask: What kind of music did you play for them?


This message was edited Apr 6, 2005 11:28 AM

Golgi...LOL That's TOO funny! You really should post it over on the Jokes and Chat Forum so more people could read it.
Pati

Calalily,I served it in the finest imported rubbermaid lids.and of course played the haunting orchestrations of film noir.

Thank you Pati,but evidently,it might leave alot of people scratching their heads and making a note to avoid any of my posts.

"haunting orchestrations of film noir."

There's your problem right there. Beer bars should be playing Willie Nelson and friends unless you serve wine too. Then you could edge over to Jazz/Blues.

Our slugs here are roly-poly creatures, perhaps you should consider a "lite" beer.
Pati

Ah,but Pati it WAS lite beer! And I stand by my music selection,as it was what Bumpy Gocart would have chosen.

Pati, I think she served a lite beer. Maybe they like all the calories and were holding out for a better beer!
I agree, she should play Willie for them!(maybe that's what's wrong, she played that fancy music and they want Heiniken or something expensive)

Try Samual Adams? Hey maybe you should hight that bartender with the catalog of beers, I bet she would know what to serve them. But I hear she got rather expensive after that comercial.

Golgi, are they blue collar slugs? Cause if they are they're not thirsty for a lite beer, especially one that can't even be spelled correctly. They want a good get me drunk and never mind the calories, maybe an Old Milwaukee or maybe some good Ohio beer. On the other hand your bar did sound inviting, any Wilson Pickett on that jukebox? Nothing better than a cold one in a clean glass either. And if they're not liking beer period try some coffee grounds, that a lockon slugs and they're free instead of wasting beer.

This message was edited Apr 7, 2005 11:11 PM

Strohs, or P.O.C.? Nobody remembers P.O.C.
(by the way -Bumpy Cocart is "Humphrey Bogart")
I need something to lure them away from the plants in the coldframe,they are all packed in there ,with no way to build a barrier of coffee grounds or Slug-eta(which never worked for me anyway). They are in flats.Wilson Pickett plays on the 3rd Satuday of every month.

This message was edited Apr 8, 2005 1:01 AM

This little drunk was leaving the tavern and almost hit my cowboy boots. I have not seen him in about a week. I bet he is drunk.