Shifts in the spirits at Daves- a request to ponder

Had to think a bit before posting this. Decided that belonging to this family for so many years, I really needed to encourage those folks who are tending to send the negative e-mails, nasty comments, unreasonable demands etc. to re-think before "glooming up the spirit" here. I have made so many friends and wonderful contacts; funny, serious and majorly (I know that the spell-checker wouldn't allow it-but it doesn't work here>) informative folk; that I really am sad, "seeing" folk drift away (may who have been here for years); or to post only infrequently due to the change in habitat. I still keep in touch, on my own,; but miss the over the fence garden banter with the "mixed up" group of folks I have gotten used to.
The Garden in my Heart and my yard are so much better, for having found this site; please leave the "weeds and mud" at the door, before entering.
Just my opinion and my request.

DITTO

i am heart broke over the last few weeks of all these bad emails going around and ruining the good for all the others. its heartbreaking.

some wonderful people are going away from us due to this and it isnt right.

to those who are being mean and sending bad emails and trying to spoil it for others : grow up and leave the mud on the ground where it belongs not in the air and ruining gardening for others.

Am I clueless? I haven't been on DG long, but I'm on here pretty frequently and I don't know about any of this. Hopefully any negativity is somewhat contained in a small (but evidently vocal) group. I love it here and really appreciate the friendly help/chatting DG offers. Sure hope it stays that way :)

That friendly, helpful chatter is what DG is all about. What a wonderful community!

I also want to speak to that spirit of selfishness and and hurtfulness to stay away. Mudslingers beware if you throw too much mud you won't have any where to plant what you do have. I am not trying to be funny. It is really serious when others who share so freely are spoken too the way they are. Feel greatful for those who care enough to want to send anything. Makes me wonder if I should continue to send things out.
Treat others like you want to be treated. Please. And if you want to be treated bad I am sure there is somwhere else on the web you would feel right at home.
Blessings to all,
Sandy

I'm with hugahosta. I guess i am lucky as haven't seen any hurtful emails and hope not to. Donna

I too am sorry to see such tragedy as this, when people are going out of their way to send seeds, plants, and information only to have hatefull emails, it is too bad that Dave cannot destroy these befor they are received.

Life is to short for such pettiness!! I havent recieved any of these mean emails but if i were id just hit DELETE and let it go unanswered!
sticks n stones may break me bones-but emails n names will never get to me! ;)
I decided long ago that this was the site i would never leave(unless dave gives me the boot)i wont let anyone chase me out-been here from the start and i plan on being here till....................
I try to help when i can and im always here yaking!!! :) :) :)

Live each day like its your last-cuz it might BE!!!
I LUVZ YA'LL 4EVER! even if i do splat u with someTAR! ;)

we dont have to agree-thats what makes us different!
So lets ALL get along and play in the garden!!
PEACE out!!!!!
dori

One ofthe reasons I came to DG was the open spirit of GODly love and kindness. I am so sorry there are those who are trying to break that loving atmosphere for others. Please, go to the other place, I'm sure you will feel right at home there. I didn't because of the spitefulness and lack of compassion shown and the open anti-Christian atmosphere.

I have made many friends here on Dave's and feel many are as close as family. I do not like to see my DG family members mistreated any more than I like to see my biological family hurt. I may not agree with what everone posts, but they are entitled to their opinion as long as it doesn't hurt someone else.

I pray for the love and kindness of JESUS to flow thru all posts and emails. If you can't say something nice don't say anything at all.

I have no experiences like others have posted about unkindnesses. In fact, just the opposite. My friends made here in DG continue to overwhelm me with kindness and generosity.

Hobbies are supposed to be fun, right? Let's keep it that way. I hope we can have serious discussions without getting angry or mean. Just my thoughts.

DG is a community and it takes everyone's unique personality and know-how to make it the special community it is. There have been a few recent tiffs and some "tempests in a teapot" (they happen occasionally, despite our best efforts to keep the peace.)

But I humbly submit the best thing we can each do to help put it behind us is to remember to be kind to those around us, and forebear with one another - if we do that, it will keep small skirmishes from escalating into all-out war.

And (most important, perhaps) is for us to resolve to not dwell on the negative - both individually and collectively. We all get our toes stepped on from time to time. How we handle it is entirely up to us.

here here!!

"Negative e-mails,nasty comments,uneasonable demands,etc." was the thrust of the thread.As with others, I have not received an unpleasant e-mail or comment,at least not that I am aware of.( due no doubt to my 'newby' status)I have seen many posts which were in very poor taste and hurtful in nature.With an organization as large as DG there seems to be no way to avoid a few negative comments. The membership consists of varied races,religions,social, economic and educational catagories.IMHO the most reasonable way to avoid confrontation is not to ignore the situation,but to excercise tolerance and understanding for the sender.Chances are that there is something going on in that persons life at that particular time which we don't know about which perhaps causes a brief lapse of good sense.But then again, there are people who are just plain thoughtless.To them I would just consider the source and press 'delete'. DG is such a great place,filled with wonderful caring people that dwelling on a few unpleasantries,though hurtful,doesn't seem to be worth the time to fret over.I agree with Marciageiger completely, but probably look at it from a little different perspective.

There are disagreements in all families, and DG is one big family really. It is one of the great things about DG that there are so many kind and generous people willing to share their vast wealth of knowledge and experience with others.
I think sometimes people don't mean to be hurtful, its just that the written word is so much sharper than the spoken one. It is difficult to ignore an all out personal attack but most of the time what is said would feel different if you could see the wink and the smile that went with it. Perhaps it would help if we had those lovely smiley faces, and the sad ones available? It might help people to understand that the comment had a lighter meaning.
Gardeners have to be patient and tolerant or their gardens would not flourish. We all grow different things because our personalities and circumstances differ, as do our ways of expressing our thoughts. If we all Think twice before we say anything, and if we wouldn't like said to us don't say it and read what we have said before we hit send, then we should all be able to 'live' together.

I read this and still had to edit for spelling, always was useless at that! - ah well back to school for me LOL

This message was edited Nov 30, 2004 10:09 AM

Hey Okus, can I have $40 to go the movies with Weezingreens, Ladyannne, and Hanna1?

Please please please!! I will do my chores I promise!!!

Hee hee! Total agreement about the family part - try to treat others like they are in your own! Course that means be nice- you can't get rid of 'em - they're FAMILY!! Can't beat it! LOL

Nicole

I don't think the "negative" people have found me yet, and I hope they never do! But, I do know how to use my delete button so I feel pretty safe. *grin*

I never want to leave my friends on DG. If people want to know about the true spirit of DG people, let them go and read the posts that were sent to me through TWO hurricanes! Even when I had no electric for so long, I knew they were all still there waiting for me, and Darius even hunted me down by phone to see if I was O.K.

Like most families, there are those we love and those we put up with; and, like most families the love outweighs everything else. Soooooo, this is my thank you to all my DG family members.....bless your hearts!
Pati

Amen Dori and Darius!! DG rocks.
Brenda

My Dear and Gentle DG friend Kathleen has just posted that she's leaving for a spell due to contention. I hate that.

(sigh)

I'm another of the fortunate ones who have no idea what's going on as I've not seen any of this disharmony.

I've only traded a few seeds and did not give them trials to see if they were viable.... just sent lots and lots of seeds - some of them will surely survive and thrive. My DD tells me lemonmint seeds are hard to germinate - well I've got a yard full that planted themselves and that's what I sent out. Everybody seemed pleased that they arrived uncrushed, if a little delayed by my procrastination. No one was mean.

I couldn't be chased off DGs by anyboddy, shoot, I practically live here some days. I've never even looked at any 'feedback', but then I'm not trading for expensive, rare plants. So as usual my ignorance is bliss.

Whoever has hurt feelings, please come visit us on Nightowls 25, everybody tries real hard to help others feel better and laugh at the world. I've only been here since April but I've learned so much about gardens and other places - from Chile to Hungary to Israel to Pakistan to Japan. And some other less exotic but wonderful places here on this continent.

Mostly I admire the 'Steel Magnolias' amongst us who spend their pain ridden days trying to make others smile at life's rudeness. And in my own way I try too. SMILE It makes the world wonder what you've been up to, and folks tend to smile back - it's a reflex.

I have been on Dave's Garden for a long time and keep seeing threads about negativeness and bad behaviour but I don't see it in the threads and have not received such e-mails. No one ever points to a specific thread where this has occured. Since I have not seen a concrete example I wonder how much is imagined.

I've just got to add my piece...I've been fortunate too as to not have been the reciepent of any hurtful e-mails or nasty remarks, etc. All I can say is that the world is full of all kind of people and in order to live peacfully, I've found that acceptance of differences and personalities helps. Turn the other cheek and be like a duck, let it roll off your back - or life will surely get you down.

I've got so many friends here like Darius, GW, Blooms, Magpye and have "chatted" with most of the ones that have posted here....this is a special place that I think of as my second family and love every minute of it.

God Bless all of us that truly try to make DG a welcome place. Time will heal all wounds and those that are "nasty" won't find much here to my way of thinking. They'll be gone soon.

Love you all!

Marcia

there are some here on Dg they are" not imagined"

it is out of respect for tyhe persons concered who have posted about this and others that a specific thread or threads havent been pointed out.

theres enough mud slinging going on with out saying heres the person or persons.

the thread here imho was created to say enough and lets stop this. that others on here dont want this kind of attitude her.

i know most are in the dark on this and really that may be a great place to be. But for the ones of us that know the cases and have seen them and know the players want this kind of stuff to stop.

its the holidays and bad emails and hurt feelings are not something Daves is about. i know i am not a saint on here( i have had squabbles before too) but yes squabbles happen but hurtful mean emails and bashing people on threads and all around nastiness isnt wanted or welcome here. (imho)

lets keep the Peace and get along. this place is a Blessing to all. Lets keep it that way.

Why are people worried about 'respecting' nasty people? Or is that just code for saying that there is not really anything concrete to complain about?

If something really nasty has been said and no one can get the courage to speak plainly, then send me private mail. Otherwise I will conclude that the real troublemakers are the ones who allude to trouble where there is either none, or else very little.

I think that respecting other people is leading by example. Two wrongs don't make a right, and being unpleasant back only encourages such behavior. If you can't say something nice. . .

One can't get along with every person alive so it is bound to happen that some of us have bad days and take it out on others. I have never received a mean email but I know that one day it is bound to happen when you deal with a so many on a on going basis. We are going to have to be like a duck in water and let it roll off our backs.

I think also that this time of year is very stressful for a lot of people. Some have lost loved ones at this time (me) or financial woes etc. can really get us down at times.

Sometimes it's hard not to be gloomy when all we get in Michigan is gloomy weather! I always feel better after the holidays and in the spring.

:-)) SMILE! Really,,, smile NOW or I will bite your nose!!!

:-)))

i didnt mean respecting "nasty people "George but respecting the ones who were wronged.

love the bird. I would love to have one and so would hubby but i think the cats would like them too much.

You are probably right! Kitties and birdies don't mix!

I was just tryin' to lighten' ta mood just a 'tad!!!!

:-)

the mood does need to be lightened and if it takes a bird to do it then great.

better be good or the bird police will get ya. LOL. hes so cute though.

Name ?

Charlie-no tail!

No tail oh my too much weight loss and done dropped his bottom off.

OOOH I want in on the diet that drops your bottom right off!

PIGS LOOK DOWN AND GRUNT.
BIRDS LOOK UP AND SING.
KEEP LOOKING UP.

yes smile may make new friend... to much going on to want to be mean or nasty.. ignore them i have...God loves you and them too... blessings all...

This surprises me, because I've never recieved or written any mean spirited emails. As for posts, I just want everyone to know that if I've ever written something that has hurt feelings of offended someone, please accept my apology. I never want to be the cause of any disharmony. I'm very happy here, and want everyone else to be happy as well.
Everytime I see a thread like this, I always wonder if I've written anything that was misunderstood. Maybe that's paranoid. lol But seriously, would they let me know if I had writted anything that sounded out of line? I never want to do this, and I'll be happy to apologize publicly to anyone I may have offended if I have.