Favorite nonsensical gardening advice

Every time I am out cutting my tarragon, I recall the advice I read: "Do not allow to flower". I still remember my puzzlement (I was a newbie at the time). How do you keep a plant from flowering? And why?

I have a few other favorites that never made sense:

"Discard extra soil." How? Fill up the garbage cans?

"Provide light shade." Hold a parasol over it?

I would love to hear some others. Since the growing year will be winding down soon, and we will start to curl up with our favorite gardening books, it will be wonderful to come across some of my favorite oxymorons again.

Well, how about "discard used soil" - again, WHERE would one discard used dirt? (What exactly is "used dirt" - as opposed to what, new dirt? lolol - yeah, I know the humus and micronutrients get used up, but still... what funny terms we bandy about.)

Then there are the admonitions to not water in the middle of the day to avoid burning the leaves of our plants. I tend to think that plants probably enjoy getting doused in the heat of the day, just as I do. I do agree it can waste water as more of it is bound to evaporate when the sun is beating down on everything, but sunburn problems? nahhhhh.

Then there is the advice to practice "good garden hygiene". I understand the inclination to discard diseased plants so they can't continue to harbor and spread disease... But the last time I checked, Mother Nature does NOT come around in late fall and pick up her dead plant material. Instead it lays in place, year after year, and rots and becomes humus for the same plants that grow in that space year after year. And that doesn't appear to cause the dread disease problems that we're threatened with if we don't pick up every bit of leaf, stalk and dropped fruit.

And should I even start in on the oft-touted virtues of hybrid vegetables? How they're far superior to the open-pollinated and heirloom varieties? Based on WHAT???? Even though they're new on the market this year, our esteemed folks at the county extension service *know* these plants are better/hardier/more disease resistant and more vigorous. Never mind that the OP and heirloom varieties have been grown repeatedly for decades - if it's new it must be better.

Whew! Feel better getting those off my chest, hope I didn't stomp too hard on anyone's toes in the process :)

I realized I forgot my most-loathed expression: 'well- drained moist soil'. HUH?

I confess, I do use it myself, but I really kick me when I do. And have you ever seen a one-legged woman kick herself? Not pretty ;)

Here's another oldie but goodie: 'Wear protective clothing' Wouldn't all clothing protect us? At least the parts it covers? And if we go out gardening without clothes, wouldn't we be arrested? Or at least admonished for gardening while brain-dead?

LOl - I love these - course I'm old fashioned as can be - I think commonsense goes a long way!

I still love the one I heard on a forum once....."Where does the rose go when the snow melts?????" Elaine

Thank you Vols! Loved hearing that!!!

Is a fig leaf considered protective clothing? LOL!

Joan (Ducking from the flying 'maters!)

My all-time favorite is the admonition to not water from above.

Uh, huh. Like it rains from the ground upwards, right!

HAH!...JOan!!! Duck this!!! (he says as he throws a fig leaf in her general direction!)

Caught it Shoe, but I'm a little disappointed that it wasn't autographed. Throw an autographed one this way.

You behave! You don't really wanna see lead in my pencil! No autographing here!

LOL! Shoe, I really thought you would use a pen. Okay, I'm gonna behave, so I don't hijack this thread any further.

"Plant in well drained sandy soil." HUH?? I thought sandy soil IS well drained. Did I miss something in these instructions?
"Measure accurately" No I want to measure inaccurately! Like I would want to kill my plants with too much fertilizer.
"Avoid spilling." Now really do I want to spill this expensive fertilizer?
"Mix thoroughly" DUH.

Believe it or not, we have moist, well-drained soil. There is considerable rain here, and under the top layer of soil is a gravel base...moist soil, good drainage. We can grow most plants in regular beds that are recommended for bogs!

'never say thank you for plants, they will die'

that's a no-can-do here. Mine seem to grow despite my saying it:)

Dead Head........now tell me ....have you ever seen a plant with a dead head on it???? Bloom maybe, but no head!!

"eyes"

I've had seed packets whose instructions include "soak seed prior to sowing". When I opened the packet, the seeds looked like dust. Yeah, sure, I can do that!

I've read through this and can't see any bad or nonsensical advice ... maybe it's just me

I've known certain plants such as Fuchsia and Abutilon get sunburn from watering the leaves during the middle of a sunny day. Been there, dun it guv, lost a lot of precious leaves and ain't going to do it again.

I know a lot of sandy boglands not too far from here, I walk the dog by them.

Dead heads ... well yes, flower heads

Protective clothing ... just don't get me started on health and safety *G* Figleaves definitely not protective clothing .. ever fry bacon naked? No? nor me and I ain't going to try it either.

Avoiding spillage is always a good idea and it's where protective clothing comes in...

The reason you keep any culinary and medicinal herb from flowering is because the essential oils in the leaves diminish with the onset of flowers and seed production thus rendering the plant less tasty or efficaceous in medicinal potions.

Pedantic Baa




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This message was edited Thursday, Sep 12th 6:26 PM

Ok, Baa, I'll concede on the others, but how do you soak seed that can't be seen by the naked eye?

With water, then strain it through muslin. Which genus is it?

You know, it's been a long time. If I recall it was a New Zealand fuchsia of some sort. Wouldn't it just be easier to surface sow the seed with a bit of coarse silica and keep it very moist for the allotted time?

New Zealand Fuchsia? A Fuchsia or something else? Two NZ Fuchsias I can think of have reasonable sized seeds.

Keeping the soil moist would probably work but much slower. As you know the whole idea is to speed up the process of breaking down the chemicals in the hard seed coat when you soak.

Sorry Lupine for Hijacking the thread :(

I may be talking out of hand, Baa. I'll have to check the seed and get back to you on that.

Back to the subject at hand, or close to it, it seems to me that seeds that require some expertise to propagate are not adverised as such. Every year I see our Alaskan wildflowers in packets in gift shops, and I know for a fact that many of them need stratification or scarification, or both. How dissappointed some of these tourists must be when they plant nice little rows of Alaskan wildflowers and they don't come up. I've always appreciated the fact that T&M at least attempts to offer you some degree of experience required for success.

Yes I agree some seed merchants fall short of comprehensive information ... and some tell you anything just to get you to buy the seeds.

You know how I feel about T&M, seeds, names and information *G* I had their new catalogue through the letterbox this morning (I always have it for a laugh) and have a bone to pick even aftre just a quick scan.

Since you are more knowledgable than their writing staff, Baa, you see each mistake. I, who have only begun to explore the wonderful world of plants, T&M offers me somewhere to get some quick ref info. Of course, I always try to back it up with info from elsewhere, but at least it lets me know what to look for!

Oh but I'm not more knowledgable, far from it ... that is what aggrieves me so much about nursuries. They way you use the catalogue is the best one to use with all plant and seed sources, if you can back it up with other sources then that's great! One day I'll send you a Chilterns catalogue ;)

I recall your mentioning Chilterns before, and I always assumed it was a reference book. Is there an online site to order the catalog?

By the way, we could use your botanical descriptive talents on this thread: http://davesgarden.com/s/354831.html#new

http://www.edirectory.co.uk/chilternseeds// Chiltern Seeds, no pics in the paper catalogue but some good reading.

I shall attend to the other matter later as thinking in Latinised scientifics fails me after 10pm ;)

I wish Chiltern would list the hardiness zones. All they will give is hardy or half hardy. I agree with Weez, the T&M catalogue is helpful; plenty of photos, germination details, especially the degree of difficulty.

The look I had at Chilterns certainly had some interesting seeds, but I need to go back and look again. I suppose the catalog we get from T&M is designed for US customers, so our zones would apply. That may not be the case with Chilterns.

I think Baa has had issues with T&M that we haven't experienced, so I can understand her feelings about it. Most US catalogs are likely to use only common names, not give specific info, and often mis-name.

Case in point... one of the catalogs lists a "fruit cocktail" tree... apparently some grafted tree with several fruits involved. No further information was offered. In this country, we're pitifully grateful for any additional info, even if a mistake or two is involved!

I have a policy of never dealing with 'nurseries' that give only common names. T&M does like to throw around the term hybrida a lot. As someone said, when they are not quite positive of the identification, throw in hybrida.

That was Baa's comment, as well. I've always gotten a chuckle out of their altered photos. Vivid blue flowers often have bluish leaves, as well!

No one has mentioned yet, "plant in acidic soil". Literally??? Will ANY "acid" do??? How about Hydrochloric Acid??? A sure way to make your plants disappear! :~)

I also love the advice about "prevent from drying out". Stand over it with a watering can day and night?

Of course, now that we are expert (ha ha) growers, we know what these mean, but I am still often stumped to read new books and get the "huh?" advice.

One book on rose pruning recommended against wearing gloves, because if your roses really like you, they will not stab you with their thorns! Any volunteers to come prune my rugosas gloveless?

Whoever said your roses won't stab you if they love you was obviously on pain killers! Some fellow gardeners of mine went to some sort of seminar where they told them to appeal to the femaleness of their slugs and the slugs wouldn't eat their plants. Need I tell you how that panned out!

I don't have any nonsenical gardening advice, but sure enjoy reading this thread.

Got another oldie but goodie: "lift and separate". Now is this a plant or a bra?

How about a "10-cent plant in a 50 cent hole". The first time I read this I really thought it meant to compare the plant and hole in the ground to a dime and a fifty-cent piece! They didn't match. Note to international friends: a dime is about 1" in diameter; a fifty-cent piece is about 2" in diameter. Any metric converters out there?

Then of course there is the "hardy" and "half-hardy". If it is half-hardy, does that mean it gets goose bumps?

Lupinlover: Now you've hit upon one of my big questions concerning plant hardiness... what is "half-hardy". Does it mean the plant is less likely to survive the winter, or does it mean it has a short life span. "Half-hardy" seems to infer that it really isn't trying very hard.. a rather "ho-hum" plant, don't you think?

That also brings up "perennial grown as an annual". I guess this means it won't winter over in colder climates, but I'm never quite sure. Maybe it just means "rip it out in the fall, because it isn't deserving of another season"...who knows!

LOL Weezin. I have read so many different interpretations of "half-hardy" that I don't have any clue about what it means either! I think it is one of those things that mean whatever you want it to.

I think it was originally thought up by someone in a mild climate to mean it might survive a bad winter (about freezing) but it might not. Half hardy. But I have also heard the one you mention about it being only half attractive. Also half-worth growing.

Tender perennial is like half-hardy. Tender to what degree? Should I avoid teasing it? Exactly how do we "tease" plants? With a teasing brush? Or maybe just doing a "nudge-nudge" kind of joke.

Around here the newest buzz-term is "drought-tolerant". Well, maybe the plant can put up with not being watered every day, but that doesn't mean it is going to enjoy it! Pitiful the way their leaves droop then shrivel up.

Well...there is always "deer-resistant. I guess that really means that the deer cannot resist them! :-)

Since MOST of the deer-resistant plants my deer devour.

I have never seen my French Tarragon flower, so I will not have to worry about letting it flower. Now the thyme is another story. You don't really expect me to "hand mow" the thyme when it flowers, do you? I have not noticed any diminshment in flavor and same with rosemary. I look forward to those blue flowers every year, as they bloom for a long time. (Really, the deer don't demolish these.)

Now aren't snapdragons annuals? Or are they tender perennials grown as annuals. Mine, so far have come back again from the same plants and look great! And yes, it DID snow last year. HMMM????