Major crisis!!!!!! please read

Oh, jeez, Susan - I just saw this thread. I'm so sorry to hear you're in such turmoil. :( I had no idea! I have the bog plants from Kathy and I'll keep them boggy until we can get them to you somehow, okay?

Dear Susan,
I was sorry to read about your difficulties but glad that you are contacting the Mental Health Assn. Medication and perhaps a support group might be helpful to you. That is good news about your children. Little by little things will change for you. We are all here for you and hope to you continue to tell us how you are doing.

Sandy R

Sandy, I have enough meds right now to get me through about 3 weeks so I should have enough time to find a new doc and get more when I need them :o)

GW, thanks for bringing the bog plants. Maybe we could work something out that you could send them to me. I could put them in my mom's pond or something until I can get my own place and start my own garden again. LMK, I'm really, really tight on cash but maybe we can work on something. Send me an e-mail from here if you get a chance or I'll look yours up if you don't see this and send you one :o)

We'll be glad to keep them ready for you, but we are tight right now, too, and can't do extra postage; when you come back to pick up the kids, why don't you drop by and have some lemonade on the patio and we'll give them to you then? They'll easily fit in a garbage bag to tuck in a corner of the trunk (been there, done that, today, LOL).

Susan, I just saw this - and you know I will be thinking about you and praying for you now.

Susan, Do you have a website that shows your computer-generated creations? I need to order some personalized things and would like to see what you do. Thanks.

Susan,
I've just hit on this thread....
What a calamity, I hope you are feeling a wee bit better now than at the start of the thread.
I can't give you any advice on this situ., but I can still put a bit of moral support behind you.
I honestly hope you see a wee light at the end of the seemingly endless tunnel soon, then you'll realise that the tunnel isn't as long as you first thought.

Very best wishes to you, for luck, health and happiness.

Alles Gute Susan

Wintermoor

Granny Lois, if you go to my homepage here there is a link under favorite sites that says Sunshine Graphics and there's some stuff there but I can do most graphic wishes if you just let me know what it is :o)

Thanks everyone for all your kind words

Still sending good energy and hugs your way, I also remember when I got a "hit". The pain does dull a bit more each day. I so agree with doing good things for yourself and spending time looking at Nature and seeing the positives (like your kids) I am glad that you have the meds. I would not be able to function without mine, I would have rather inherited a few more inches in height than a chemical imbalance, but we all live with the cards we are dealt. I am on disability and since they do not pay for meds, get them online, from RxNorth.com (Canada) My housemate found that source for me. It is especially helpful to save 30-50% on meds that you take regularly. I am going to post this separately, as I think many people here could use this site. Hugs to you.

Susan, me too ~ can you post a hyperlink to your website? My son is on a soccer team named "Cool Blue". Trying to design a mascot or symbol for this has been impossible! If you had some ideas & could help, that would be great!

Susan,

You are in all our prayers. I pray that you will find peace, and so does your husband and your children. Other words of comfort are beyond me right now. If I can do or say anything I will be overjoyed to help.

Kathy

Susan, I've just come accross your post - please know that my thoughts and prayers are added to the many already going out for you.

I am amazed that at a time of such turmoil and upheaval you gathered plants to honor your trades?! It says a lot of the loving heart you obviously have. Please take time to look after yourself FIRST OF ALL. You are of no use to yourself or your children or anyone else if you try to be everything to everyone and neglect to look after yourself.

Your decision to speak to a counsellor is possibly the best thing you could do for yourself at the moment - the pain and confusion you must be going through must be enormous and is best not dealt with alone.

The faith that I know you have in God will see you through this, and make you stronger because of it. Please hold onto that faith no matter what.

Love and hugs
Pam

morph, the link to my site is

http://www.angelfire.com/art2/flowox43055/graphic.html

I will try my best to come up with an idea for a mascot but don't know if I'm much use for that mentally right now. I will try though as it will give me something to think about :o)

Susan,

I'll be thinking of you. I wish there were something I could do. I'm in IL visiting with family right now or I would have posted sooner. Is there anything that any of us can do for you?

~Carla

I wouldn't know what anyone could do right now. I'm going to try to find some things to sell on Ebay to try to get money for now. Will have to make lots of phone calls to see about getting financial help of some sort. Still have so many things to sort out. Don't even know where to start. My head just aches with confusion.

{{{{{flowox}}}}}

Susan, I just read this thread and I am deeply sorry for all you are going through. Just remember we all care about you and if we can help anyway just put it on Dave's Web. We all have been through some deep valleys and keep your faith in Chist and from personal experience "He" will bring you through it. The prayer that bitty1 put in was so true. I cannot stress enough to stay on your Med. and doing some of the other wonderful ideas everyone has posted. I have found that to have some kind of goal for YOURSELF that makes you feel good about yourself,gardening, work, walking, praying, will help so much. You remember you have all these friends on here and that is wonderful. Remember you will be a winner, and you are a Child of God's and you will be O.K. Love in Christ and Hugs!!!!!!!!! Cathy P.S. Email Me I Would Be Happy To Talk With You And See If I Can Help Anyway.

This message was edited Monday, Jun 3rd 1:22 AM

Glad to know that things are ok with you. It is great that you going to see your kids and spend the summer with them. My sister and I have the same problem as you. My family and I went through with her and helped me.Maybe you can attend to a meeting, listen and talk about problem.. My sister went and learned lots.. Just take your time. You will be ok. Please try to think postive things not negative things. I have plenty of plants that I will be more happy to send you and fill up your yard when you get your own place to live. :) Dont worry about postage or everything... God Bless (((((HUGS))))) We do care about you.

Susan,
I am still praying for you. Keep yourself busy with whatever you can and things WILL work out. You are very talented and you WILL pull through this.

thanks so much everyone.

I went to the SS Office today and told them that I moved here so they can switch my SSI claim which is still pending. I have an appointment to see a new shrink here on Monday next week but did find out that unlike Ohio, they do not give samples of meds here and unless I qualify for a medical card from the state I have to pay for the doctor and the meds which means if I don't get one, no more doctor and no more meds :o(
I won't know what to do then because without meds I'm a basket case. Well, will have to see. I'm going down to human services tomorrow to apply for it. Thanks everyone for your kind words and keeping me in your thoughts. I come here every day to get my spirits lifted by you :o)

Susan, it appears you might end up going back to the state in which you can get what you need, doesn't it? It's closer to your kids and you already have contacts there, so I think if I were you, I might consider it before moving a lot of things to TN. Mom's was a good place to go immediately, but you already know it's temporary, so don't feel bad if you return to Ohio. It could be a good thing to find a town not associated with the bad things and start over independently there. If there is housing assistance, you should certainly qualify. This is just something that ran through my head as I pondered your situation.

Susan, I just came across this thread, I am so sorry you have ben thrust in this situation.

I hope that with time things will fall into place.

Will be thinking of you during these tough times, take care and take it easy.

Susan,
Please know that I am praying for you. Things always have a way of working out. Then things seem the darkest, a ray of light shines through to make things better. Wish you were closer so I could just give you a big hug. XOXOXOX
Ruth

Sorry for your troubles, Flowox. I hope you can try to keep fighting. Don't let the ******* get you down! Sometimes just the red tape alone is enough to make you want to go back to bed and pull the covers over your head. Believe me, I know this from experience. Chronic pain and depression are constant companions for some of us. Highs and lows, but boy, can those lows be LOW! I just hope it all works out, that you will eventually be closer to your children, and to life-long satisfaction, if not complete happiness (sometimes a ephemeral ideal). Do everything possible to stay on your antidepressants, as that can make all the difference in making it through this bad time. Don't know what size town you are in, or how close to state lines with different services, but maybe you could travel to (or call - 1-800 # ?) a mental health clinic or emergency phone line, where you pay little or nothing, and get meds there? Emergency mental health clinics and phone referrals can often times direct you to your meds, so don't give up on this, OK? Some larger cities with hospitals/universities have on-going depression research projects that want people to take meds as a way of measuring a drugs usefullness in different situations. It is just a thought, and maybe not a very good one for your situation. But I know what it is like for the entire day to feel as dark as 3 A.M. and a not have the physical or mental strength you think you need to keep going. So, please, flo, look into a clinic if at all possible. Any kind of M.D. at this point might be able to help you, especially if you have taken a specific drug for some time. It does not have to be a mental health professional, but maybe just a regular family-type doctor. I don't know if any of this will help you in anyway, but hope so. Hang on and fight your way through this dark time. I'll think of you and hope with all my heart that you get what you need right now.

thanks penny :o)
I'm trying to call different places. I've been on the phone most of the day and will go to the human services department tomorrow.

Many of the major pharmaceutical companies have their own independent programs set up to aid those with no insurance available, too; let me see if I can find the information I printed out for my mom so you can take it with you to the doctor (they contact the drug company on your behalf).

God grant you wisdom and courage through this extreme time and so do we. Please take care of yourself through all this tragedy and reach out whenever the need arises.
Candee

Here's a couple links for you regarding the meds, Susan:

Needymeds: http://www.needymeds.com
Medication Foundation: http://www.medicationfoundation.com/

Hope those help. :)

thanks GW. Hey, could you hang on to those plants and would it be ok if I swung by on Friday the 14th to pick them up? That's when I'm coming to OH to get the kids. LMK

Susan, Im just now reading this. Im so sorry to hear all of this. Just know we are praying for you. Life can be hard. We just have to roll with the punches and not get knocked out! God will never leave us or forsake us. Dont forget that. Without Him in my life I would of given up long ago. I have had bouts of depression. It is a hard thing to deal with. You need to find someone right away who can help you. If you have to call a social worker. They might be able to help you get set up.

Oh flowox, I don't know what to say except that you are in my thoughts. I've had my own life turned upside down unexpectedly before and at the time would never have believed how wonderful it was going to turn out in the long run, but such things really DO happen. I really admire you for making the effort to find a way to stay on your medication. I always had insurance to pay for them during my dark times and I don't know that I would have had made the effort as you have done. Hang in there and know you are in many people's thoughts and prayers.

AnnMarie

Hi Susan, I just read this thread. I am so sorry for the pain and difficulity you are going through. Just wanted to let you know you and your family will be in my prayers.
Julie

Flowox, My heart goes out to you, thank God you have family and you are not alone. I know we can send seed or plants to help one another out but there isn`t anything material we can send that will help. Just know that you have my prayers and I will be here if you want to let off steam.
All the best too you.
Mary

I missed this earlier. I am speechless and cry for you flowox. i remember the heartbreak of a relationship falling apart and all the confusion and doubt that goes with it. remember we are all hre supporting you and if you need to just cry to us. we all love you and will be praying for you. keep in touch.

Susan, I am sure you are fast asleep by now, but I wanted to tell you I am thinking of you. It must be a nice warm feeling to read all the support here from your friends, many of whom have been through similar things in their lives and know the way it can make you feel so confused and helpless. I know dealing with a chemical imbalance makes it even more difficult, but I wanted to encourage you once more to hang in there. I don't suffer from that demon, so I can't say I know how you feel, but I know it is really tricky to deal with even when things are calm. I admire you for the way you keep working at your life in spite of some pretty tall mountains you have to keep climbing. If you need my shoulder, you know where to find me, and I am solidly behind you, my little friend.

Susan I am thinking of you. ((((((u))))))

thank you so much everyone......and yes, like Aimee said, it fills my heart with joy when I come here and know that you all support me. It feels really good to have friends here, especially when I have no friends where I am now. Thanks bunches everyone!!!

I just read this thread. I was thinking of you today and I wanted to find out more about the person who made such a kind jesture on May 28 when you invited me to "try joining the chat room again sometime". ( Just as I was logging on for the first time Barney came home and was so chatty that I had to cut the connection and give him my full attention.) You were so sweet to think that I got shy and lost my nerve or something. It is clear that you are the kind of person to think of others. Your thoughtful gesture made me want to find out more about you and now I am reading all of this. The friends you have made on DG really have hearts of gold. I don't know what I can do to help except to say that my thoughts and prayers are with you. I know what it is like to suffer great disapointment and heartache too. I guess most of us face it at least once in our life. The thing I did was take it one day at a time and like some of the others have said you need to do little things to build your own self esteem. You are a beautiful person and it doesn't matter what other people tell you if you don't believe it yourself. Surround yourself with your children, and positive people. Be happy and know that this to shall pass. Time heals.

Fairyhunter, what you say is not only eloquent, but 100% true. It will pass, Susan, and you will be all the stronger a person for it. And when you're weak and need some support, the folks here are listening.

Hi, Susan. I've visited this thread several times, wondering how you are doing. I don't always post, since the other postings are so eloquent... I don't know what I can add. I thought of you as I walked a friend around the yard the other day. I thought how nice it would be to walk you around the yard, talking of flowers and things... visiting the green things is very healing. Take good care of yourself so you can heal and get strong.