Major crisis!!!!!! please read

Well guys, you will have to give me a day or two to get settled in. I'm in TN at my mom's house where I will now be living. I don't quite know what happened but Jim flipped when he came home from work today and I guess having to deal with my depression and having to deal with my unruly son just put him over the edge. He wasn't on abusive or violent terms but he said he could not live like this anymore and I needed to move. I had no place else to go so I packed my car with the necesities and headed towards TN. I arrived here at 2:30 am. I don't know what I will do now. Jim let me take the car and let me keep the key. He said that all my things would still be there and that I could come back anytime to get whatever I needed. So this is a major change in my life. If you have sent me something, he said he would forward it. If I'm supposed to send you something, I'm afraid that I drove off with just the necesary things and hope you can understand and I will somehow make it up to you. I took all the plants that I had promised for the plant trade and will still try my best to come. Just bear with me until I get back on my feet this is the hardest step in my life yet. I'm 3 states away from my kids and have no clue when I will be able to see them either. They weren't home so I didn't even get a chance to tell them goodbye. I will take over my sister's e-mail address so will have to wait until tomorrow until I get everything set up.

oh Flo, I don't know what to say except I'm so sorry. We love you and please take time to breathe.
(((((Flo)))))

Flo,
I sit here and cry for you. I only wish I could help. I can't imagine having to go off and leave children and my home on such short notice. May God be with you and help you make it through all of this. Please feel my arms around you with the biggest hug I can give. If you want to just scream and yell you are welcome to email me.

(((((((((((((((Susan))))))))))))))))

My Dear Susan, I am so shocked at your sudden upheavel !If you were depressed before I don't know what you would call this. I hope that you can get your living arrangements settled soon, Living with family,no matter how obliging they are, is not the most comfortable situation to be in.(been There)It changes everything dosen't it? I sure hope you can make the round-up. you need a pat on the back and a hug from all who have gotten to know you, and can be there for you. I wish I could...:( but you know what little can be done across the miles. Please keep in touch and let me know what is happening. Just know that I care, and will be thinking of you>(((((*)))

I am so sorry and god bless... (( HUGS))

So sorry, I know you were hurt so bad and depression, I know how that feel same way to my dear friend has the same problem it is not easy so hope everything settle down smooth soon. Take care of yourself! {{{HUGS}}}

Susan, I'm so sorry you have to go through all this, but just know that I will be pray'g and think'g about you. IF you want to talk I'm here for you and just feel free to use my shoulders. Don't keep this bundled up as that will just make matters worse, things will work out for you for the best I'm sure. I know this was horrible to just be yanked out of your world but just know I love you and hope you can still make it to the round up.

My thoughts and prayers are with you, Susan.
Melissa

Hoping that you find peace........

Depression is a miserable dragon to slay-- may you also find strength.

Susan, I am so sorry this happened to you. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Thanks everyone. As I'm reading all your words tears are flowing out of my eyes. I'm having a hard time controlling my emotions right now and I only got 2 hours of sleep. I feel horrible, mentally and physically. It is totally draining me. I talked to my mom and we will still try to make the roundup but will be there on Saturday with plants to trade :)
If I start to cry, you'll know why. This is really hard for me and I still have not been able to take it all in yet. I'm glad to call you my family though and know that you all will be here for me. If you would like to e-mail me, you can send e-mail to my mom's address as I'm taking over her computer. It's hbsb14@cs.com. Just put in the subject to Flowox. Thanks everyone. I have to go dry my tears now.

Here's a BIG roll of paper towel now get it all out! BABY, and I promise,even though you'll feel weak and think there are no more tears left to shed, there will come a ray of hope and peace. I can't tell you how this is bothering me,you don't deserve this! I know you don't have a lot of faith,but I have enough for us both and I will pray you through it. God Bless Susan ((((((((((((((*)))))))))))))

Susan, I am so sorry to hear that this has happened. With all that you have gone through, I hope that you can use all the hugs and love we send your way to get settled into a new life. (((((((from Marcia to Susan)))))))

Oh Susan, I feel for you deep in my heart and soul. I will see you at Round up , and will expect to give you lots of HUGS!! Love, Jo

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ BIG HUG }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} for Flowox ~ we're here for you and I'm so sorry :( I don't know your situation, but I don't think these things happen without reason. I'm glad you've got your mom's support & I'm sure you'll come out of this the better! Don't forget to keep visiting us!

I'll still be around :)
This is just so hard for me and I don't know where to begin to even find a place since I've put in for SSI and will have to call them too to have that transferred and it's just a complete mess. I just want to cry at times and have tears running down my face. After all this, I still love him and think I always will. He has helped me so much in my life but things just got too tough for him to handle. I have lost the only person besides my kids and parents of course, that I ever really loved and it hurts so much it's killing me inside.

Big Hugs from me too...I'm so sorry,but I know you will be OK...we're all pulling for you.

Susan, I was shocked to read this, never expected it in a million years! You know I will call you this weekend, if you can email me a number. I must hear your voice. I have some free time on my son's account, if I use it at night and after 8 P.M. Friday. And try not to worry. This, too, shall pass. It might be a blessing in disguise, as you will look into solutions you wouldn't find if this didn't happen. You have friends, you are not alone, and you will get beyond this with a new sense of self and the satisfaction of knowing you have survived yet another of life's ordeals. Courage, my dear!

Susan,
I'm so sorry to hear that you have had such an change to make and so quickly. I know that you have many other things on your mind, not just this. Take some time to think about everything and put it all in perspective. Like Aimee said, this may be a blessing in disguise. I'm sure thinking of you and will definitely keep you in my thoughts for some time to come. Right now, I've got tears in my eyes. I've been there myself about 20 years ago and I know it isn't easy, but you will get through it. Just take a big breath and remember you have your family by blood and you have us.

Shirley

Susan,
I'm so sorry to hear what happend. I do wish you all the best for your new start, and time will heal,you have so many great friends here at DG that will support you all the way.
((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))

This message was edited May 22, 2005 8:34 AM

Bitty, thanks for posting that for Susan! I can only add "amen".

I'm so glad to have you all. I just can't stop crying and I have to be honest with you. I'm at a point in my life where I really don't know if I want to go on with my life anymore. I can't stay here for long. I can't take all the arguing that goes on in this house. I don't know how to deal with it and although my mom means well, she has problems of her own and looses control easily and starts to scream and argue about everything. I drove 8 hours to get here, had 2 hours of sleep. Thought I would help my mom while she was working.........put her new trellis together, washed the dishes, cooked dinner but my step-dad slept through all that because he works nights and when they got into another one of the almost daily arguements they have he said that I don't do anything anyway. That I just hang on the computer anyway and would not help around here so my mom should get used to it. That really hurt and it hurt bad. I've been crying for the last 2 hours now and don't know how to stop. I'm going to cal the mental health association here on monday and see if they have help for me. If worse comes to worse, I will have myself committed to get away from it all. I love you all

HUGS, and thinking of you with love...

If you come here before you get my email, you got mail!

Susan, I feel so bad for you. I can't stop thinking about what you are going through. I'm with you in my thoughts and prayers. I really wish I could be there physically.

Hugs,
Joan

Flowox: Just looking at all the responses, I can see that you have lots of friends here in the Garden, and I'd like you to know that I consider myself one of them. It's been lots of years since I felt cast out to sea, but can still remember the feeling. It's hard to imagine any good coming from these hard times, but I can tell you from experience that they most often do. I'll be thinking of you, and don't hesitate to email me if you'd like to talk.

FLO My heart goes out to you. My prayers support you Shirley

susan,will keep you in our daily prayers.
patricia

Susan, I've also been there and know that it is one of the most stressful things that you will ever go through. It does get better and you've got to keep strong. Maybe this turn in the path will take you to a new better beginning.Hang in there. It WILL get better. We are all here for you.

Oh, Susan! I'm so sorry!!! Please don't give up! Remember, honey, they can chew you up, but they can't swallow. You WILL get through this, and when you do you will be that much stronger! Even if you have to go stay somewhere and get some help for a while, oh, honey, do it! I'm pulling for you!!!!

Me too, Susan!! Do what you have to do to help yourself and save your sanity!! You'll wake up to a brand new world, and everything you desire will lie before you!!
Take care, and know that your inner strenght is much greater than you ever anticipated!! Hugs!!!

"eyes"

You just get a plane over here, i have a spare bedroom, i am feeling for you especially if you are depressed, hubby every so often gets depressed and he knows so long as i stay by him it will eventually goes, dont know much about the Social Security system in America but do they not provide free housing etc as they do here in England, and provide SS for food etc. Please keep in touch as i will be thinking of you, lots of love and hugs xxxxx

thank you so much everyone. Your words help me pass each day and make me go on. I'm feeling a bit better today but things are so hard and it's so hard to keep my mind straight. I called the kids today and will pick them up mid month and my ex said I can have them all summer if I like and I can get them anytime that I want. That made me feel a bit better :)

Susan that is great about your children. I know that you have been worried about being so far away from them and seems like that worked out so other things will fall into place also. Just give it a little time. I'm here if you want to talk.
Hugs
Ruth

Susan, it's so good to hear that you are feeling better. And the news about getting your kids all summer is GREAT!!!! I'm so happy your ex is cooperating. That's a plus on your side!

I think about you lots during the day. Keep in touch girlfriend. I, too, have been in a similar situation that you are now in. It does get better with time. Been 11 years for me, and now I have my life going in the right direction again, with a good man by my side. I was 30 years old, with three little kids when my life fell apart. Took me awhile to re-group, but I figured I was not going to let something like that ruin the rest of my life. I, and only I, had control of how my life would go from the point of the breakup. So, I continued to take my anti-depressants faithfully, and got up each morning with it set in my mind that I would do at least one thing I could be proud of when I went to bed the following night. Sometimes it was taking the time to visit with an old man at the park, or helping someone do something during the day without being asked to do so. That is what helped me get my self-worth back. I tried to do something like this EVERY day. Soon, it became natural, and I felt so much better about myself, and people started reacting to me in a much different way. What I discovered was, I had to find a way to feel good about what I was doing, then I felt so much better about myself and was much more able to go on.

Think perseverence girl! "I am woman hear me roar!" Keep your chin up and go on to bigger and better things. Sometimes things happen because there are better things for us in the future. We don't always see it at the time, but soon those *better things* start to show up.

Sorry to go on so long, but I wanted to tell you about how I overcame a similar situation. It's not easy, I know, and I feel for what you are going through. Email me if you need to, or if you can catch me on MSN, please contact me. I want to be there for you.

P.S. Is there a park near your Mom's? Go take a walk there. Maybe you'll see someone that needs to see you smile at them. If there's ducks or geese, take a few slices of stale bread, they will love you for it. Then go to bed and think about how you made them happy.

Big hugs to you,
Joan

Joan, girl, you said a mouthful!! What a wonderful thing you just wrote!

She's absolutely right, Susan. And I know you know it, you just might not be able to see it through your tears right now, bless your heart. But that's what we're here for ~ to help point out things like this and remind you that they are still there. Just remember, those who spread happiness around can't keep it from themselves. And it's a great way to recharge your emotional batteries, something I think you need right now. As soon as you can, fill up a pocket with some candy, go find that old man and share some with him. (BTW, they all like peppermint, Werther's Originals or jelly beans. :-)

I'm smiling @ Joan and Linda, and here to offer my support if you need it!! So true, so true!!

"eyes"

Heck, all of you are making ME feel good, just reading what this group of strong women says. Times have changed so much since I was Susan's age, and there is a totally different attitude showing here. Women didn't always support each other, but now we are all so quick to pitch in and offer whatever we feel will help in such a crisis. I believe this is the most important thing a woman in this situation can have, the solid support of colleagues, people who know about the road she is traveling and can tell her for sure that it gets better. If you think you can make it, you can. If you see that others did, you can believe you can as well. There are numerous agencies now to help people in need, and you can get what you need to start over. With your skills, Susan, you can find plenty of opportunities, if you can keep your mood upbeat and hang onto that thought of once again being in control. One tiny step at a time, one victory at a time, you will be able to build a good life.

I will give the candy idea a try :o)

thanks guys, you're all just the greatest of friends and family anyone could wish for!!!