new house with out door pesky plants

ok, im in northwest oklahoma. I've got a terrible black thumb when it comes to trying to keep plants alive, but now i need some help, in the killing /removal of a few and suggestions of some i can plant instead.
ok for starters. bamboo. the rental I'm living in has a huge cluster of this stuff that just won't die! and the house we are buying has some along the fence line. does anyone know how to kill it off or prevent it from spreading? my current landlady has tried a variety of weed killers on hers and its just expanding.
second issue- weeds, rag weed in particular. id prefer a natural way to get rid of weeds other than harsh chemical sprays, this way i can get in good grass. speaking of which- I'm allergic to kentucky blue grass, and don't know diddly about those grass seed mixes, can some one please advise a good grass seed for this area? dry summers high heat, will have to tolerate dogs playing on them. also, id like to try growing some native flowers, like what we called indian paintbrush growing up. does anyone know where i can get some? and any suggestions for plants that are good for nature and tolerant of neglect, abuse, and dogs would be greatly appreciated. my lot has a mix of shade and open sun areas.

Bamboo:
Rent a tractor and get rid of the soil where the roots are. Share the cost with the neighbor if there is bamboo growing on the other side of the fence.

Killing reasonable weeds w/o chemicals:
Heat. There is a device that you hook up to the bottled propane that plumbers use. It will heat up the weeds and kill them. Best to do this as early as possible, while the weeds are still small, and especially before they go to seed.

Lawn grasses and substitutes:

Cool season grasses do not handle the heat of summer very well (need lots of water).
Kentucky Bluegrass (Poa praetensis might be listed on the label)
Perennial Rye (Lolium perenne)
Red Fescue or similar fine bladed Fescues (Festuca sp)
... are the 3 main species of grass used in lawns for many years. There are many, many varieties of each with variations in color, traffic tolerance, disease resistance. Each can be purchased separately, or custom blended for sun or part shade. Talk to a local expert about which varieties grow best for your area.
Tall Fescue (Festuca arundinacea) has been used in recent years as a lawn ('recent = 30+ years, so there is solid history behind it). The original varieties were fairly coarse, and used on sports fields. Now it is being selected for finer blades and somewhat slower growth. The blades are still tough enough to hold up to the average residential use (kids, dog). Look for Bonsai or other 'dwarf type tall fescue'.

Non-grass, blend with cool season grasses or use by themselves:
White clover- adds nitrogen to the soil, helps the grass grow.
Dichondra- nice substitute in partial shade. Not quite so tolerant of traffic.

Warm season grasses (Not sure if they grow in your zone)
Bermuda- look for the seedless types, but still invasive via runners.
Zoysia
others

Non-grasses (other than the 2 already listed) are not so well suited to being lawns.
There are a couple of ground cover plants that are durable enough to invade a lawn, they are OK mowed, and with some traffic, but to make a whole lawn out of them... well, I wouldn't.
Phylla nodiflora
Fragaria chiloensis
Blue Star Creeper (name keeps changing- Isotoma, Pratia)
Potentilla (name keeps changing- I learned it as P. verna, I think P. neumanniana is the most recent name)

Native grasses & non-grasses that look like grasses-
Talk to a local expert, but ask about
Blue Grama
Buffalo Grass
Sedges
Most especially research wear tolerance, but also be sure to research what sort of maintenance they need to look like the pictures (some pictures make them look as dense and tight as a 'regular' lawn. )

Non-plant:
Get a landscape designer to help you figure out
a) do you need a lawn at all? Many kids play with their friends at the local park, not at home. A small lawn for toddlers with a plastic play structure may be enough. You don't need so much lawn just for the kids. Sand box (cover it so cats won't use it)
b) Alternate play surface such as bark, rubber chips, mats, Certified Play Area chips (wood chips from pallets that never held toxic materials) and so on work quite well.
c) Alternate surfaces such as patio (concrete, pavers, flagstone), deck (wood, synthetic) compacted gravel (quarter by dust or crushed granite) make good, usable areas. Think about how you are really going to be using the area and if some alternate material will work.
d) Alternate ideas for your favorite sport. Think long and hard. Will you REALLY use it? Bocce court, general purpose sport court (holes for posts to support nets across the middle, basket ball standard at one end)
e) Other plants- Vegetable garden (or some raised planter boxes), screening shrubs, shade trees, mounds, decorative boulders, flowering shrubs... Most people do these sorts of things around the edge, but if you make the 'edge' wider, take up more space then there is less space left over that might 'need' a lawn. Make nicer (larger) planted areas.

i like the idea of native grasses, thank you. if i can find a variety that stays short enough, maybe i can add in some native flowers as well to just let it all grow. but as for the weeds, they have already gone to seed for who knows how long. i will ask the neighbor if they like the bamboo, and if they do, i will just have to remove what spreads to my yard. i prefer taller fences, so if they just put it up for privacy, that can be fixed. i have a black thumb with plants, but I'm going to try my hand at growing some bulbs along the porch and other plants as i find some that will meet my desire for low maitnence beauty.

Mixed native grasses with low flowers makes a delightful meadow, though it won't tolerate the traffic that traditional lawn grasses will. If you add the flowering plants I listed above, those are the most sturdy, and could work in a blend. Of course you should check which are best in your zone. Good idea to look into the native wildflowers in your area, too. Add the lowest growing.

I tried to do that many years ago, but they got trampled, very poor stand. I seeded:
English Daisy (Bellis perennis- grows in lawns in Golden Gate Park)
White Alyssum (Lobularia maritima)
White Clover (Trifolium repens)
Viola (V. tricolor, Johnny Jump Up)
and probably several others, it has been a long time.
The clover is still with me, where it gets water from the dogs' water buckets. The lawn grasses and all the other flowers are gone.

to be honest, the ones who spend the most time out are the dogs. kids are busy with school, xbox, and other games. i took some pics with my phone, but i don't have the cord to put them on the computer. but when i was over cleaning up some of the trash previous tenet left, i actually looked closely at the plants growing. white clover is abundant and I'm happy. a mossy section in the back and soft ground there tells me that there is good hydration in that area. several catulpa trees just across the fence to either side, an elm tree on my side, morning glories on the fence... several wild flowers already growing. the sunflowers are close to the fence, so i hope new ones grow next year from fallen seeds. and depending on where we decide to place the modular home once we get to that point, i have a tree stump that may be dug out and turned into a small pond. maybe koi, may have several small shallower sections for betas in the summer, but with a screen just over the top to keep out predators. would you happen to know anything about jane magnolias? i had one int he back year in a previous rental, and loved it. i just id'd it this week before i didn't know what it was. i was looking at flowering trees and saw the pic. id like to place a few trees for more shade and beauty and maybe even fruits, but I've never tried planting any. any advice?i figure if i can absorb a lot of knowledge now, i will take the upcoming year to pay off the house and turn weeds into good grass, then the year after i can actually get down to the serious gardening. id like to figure out where I'm screwing up with plants so that when i put in the simple pansies and such, that they don't die. I'm going to try to do a vegetable garden, this years was a bust. i have two scrawny cucumbers that aren't going to finish filling out before the frost hits. so nest year I'm going to try just a few small plants to start and see what i get

What I would suggest is that you draw the property on a sheet of graph paper. Draw it to scale. (decide that each square represents 2' or 5' or whatever it takes to get it all on one sheet).
Include north arrow.

Include the things that will stay, and important things like where the good view is (keep this area open) and where the bad view (neighbor's window) is, so we know where to plant a tree.

Then scan that into the computer and post it here.

The best way to get started is just what you are doing. Get some ID on the plants that you like, get a feel for what grows and what needs some help.
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Fish, I do know about.

1000 gallons minimum for a single Koi, they get BIG! Saw some at a friend's house, and at 5 years old there were several over a foot long, and several more just about a foot long (not including tail). (4000 gallon pond + waterfall) If you like the colors, but only want a couple of hundred gallons, then think Goldfish, not Koi. Much easier to bring in during the winter, if you need to.
Bettas would get eaten. Do not keep them in the same pond. Golds and Koi are cool water fish, thriving in water not much warmer than the low 70s, and will tolerate freezing cold water as long as there is a hole in the ice for gas exchange. Bettas are tropical fish that thrive in water in the upper 70s, though they will tolerate somewhat cooler conditions (mid 70s).

i'll get measurements next time I'm over there. i was looking at koi, but i do prefer bettas. I've got one in my indoor fish tank. for them i was thinking little pools about a foot deep with plenty of plants as d'artanion and his predecessors all like hanging out on what ever plants i have in my tanks. then if i put a small mesh barrier up at the edge of those little pools where it will merge with the bigger pool, it will prevent the males from interacting and fighting. as for good view.. currently that is the empty lot next to mine. i love the pine trees. but if they put a house up... maybe not so pretty. i will see if i can do a scale drawing on my computer... currently i don't think i have a program to draw on here.

You could download a simple program like Sketch Up, or just use Paint. Or draw it on paper and scan it in.

Outdoor ponds that are too shallow:
Dry out very fast. (Be careful of the small ones if you build any sort of barrier to the main pond)
Are accessible to predators. (Mesh over these little bays)
Change temperature too much. Hot in the day, cold at night. (With good circulation they might be OK, perhaps just that little bit warmer that Bettas like. Watch it very carefully! Any tendency to stay a little bit warmer can get way too hot all too fast)
May freeze solid in the winter. (Not a problem for a Betta- you will be bringing him in anyway)

Combining a smaller area with a bigger volume of water that is well circulated can work quite well. I have something like that with an upper pool and a lower pond, waterfall and stream in between. This is not fenced off sort of mini-ponds that it sounds like you are thinking of, though.