Diane, When Holly's Dad had his problem I worried more about her Mom, He had a whole CCU to look after him, she had herself. Be sure to rest a little and foremost eat well. I don't mean a bite here or there, a good relaxed meal can be as restorative as anything. We're still with you. Ric
Prayers for my mom please!
Hah. Tuesday I finally had five minutes to eat at 6:30 pm. I was like a starved dog. LOL I'm getting so sick of inhaling McDonalds junk either in the car or while making a quick stop either on the way there or coming back but I didn't even have time for that Tuesday. Hopefully there won't be any more days like that if we can just get her nights settled down. But I am eating fine when I'm at home.
Sleep is the biggest problem for me right now. I did get a good night's sleep last night.
I'm so glad that you got at least one night' sleep. All of that travel while sleep deprived isn't good but I know that you have to do it. So sorry that your mom has been having difficult nights. It's so hard when they don't understand what is happening to them. HOpefully she'll stabilize soon.
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Thanks, Dorothie. So nice to see you over here in MAG. My BIL, who is a doctor, called a friend who is an internist who specializes in strokes. I think we have a good lead on what to do and Debra sort of barreled through someone who was being a roadblock today. Don't mess with Debra. LOL
Hooray for Debra!
That's very good news, Hart. Hope things start improving soon.
Hart, How is Mom doing?
I was wondering too--hoping this is the 'busy as heck but going fairly well and I want to forget the worse stuff" phase
Me too. I know recoveries can be slow and draining -- especially for the elderly. Just takes longer to regain strength.
It seemed a long time since I'd seen a post here but hadn't realized how long. I hope that everything is going OK Diane.
Same here - really hoping that no news means just that. Sometimes status quo is a good thing.
No matter what is going on, hang in there, Diane, you've got lots of good thoughts coming your way each and every day!
I've barly been checking in here this summer and must admit that I have not read all the posts but just now skimmed them.
Just wanted to let you know that you and your mom are in my thoughts! Hope all is going better now.
Big gentle hugs!
Well, not so great. Her agitation, confusion and aggression have been getting much worse over the past couple of weeks. We didn't know if it was a reaction to some of the meds or dementia. Last week, I had to rush back up there because she had gotten out of the house at 1 am and got several blocks down the street in her nightgown. The caretaker tried to stop her and she punched her several times.
The next day, my brother had deadbolts installed that couldn't be opened from the inside without a key. When she couldn't get out, she became convinced that she had been kidnapped. I had to physically restrain her three times to keep her from breaking a window to "escape." She doesn't believe that her house is her house. She thinks it's some other place that's been fixed up to look like her house.
After calling a geriatric psychiatrist who was highly recommended, on his recommendation we took her that evening to a hospital in Leesburg where she's been staying at the geriatric psychiatric unit. This morning, we had a hearing to order her detained there. Testifying at that has to have been one of the most awful experiences of my life, but the judge magistrate issued the order.
It appears there may be at least some dementia. Whether that will get better with the right treatment we don't know. Hopefully we'll know more in the next few days.
Saturday was her 80th birthday. We had a very small party for her with cupcakes at the hospital. She's making friends with several of the ladies in the unit and everyone there likes her very much.
Thanks so much everyone for your thoughts and prayers.
Hugs and prayers, Hart. I'm sure that it was a very difficult thing for you to do. Warm wishes. I've been following along very intently as I am my mom's caregiver.
{{{{Hugs}}}}, Diane please take care of yourself too.
Oh my gosh, Diane - what a nightmare. I was so hoping things had settled down a bit.
I know that having a hearing had to be incredibly difficult and painful, but take some comfort in knowing you did the right thing, and that she's where she needs to be right now.
Keeping you all in my thoughts & prayers!!!! Sending lotsa hugs your way - hang in there..........Barb
I'm so sorry that your mom is having a hard time with confusion Diane. It must be heartbreaking. I'm so glad that she is in a safe place though. That's what is important right now. I'm also glad that you have a good psychiatrist on the case. Here are some Hugs and good thoughts for your whole family.
I forgot to mention the other bit of excitement. My brother is pretty overweight and has high blood pressure and of course all this stress lately. Last night, he had sort of a mini version of what happened to Mom and had to be rushed to the emergency room. Thank heavens he didn't have a stroke. He did have slurred speech and fell down from dizziness but was okay later. They kept him overnight and are running a slew of tests. I hope this will be a wake up call and he'll start eating better, taking care of his high blood pressure and diabetes.
It was pretty awful today but it was absolutely the right thing to do.
Jan, I hope your mom is doing okay.
This message was edited Aug 24, 2009 7:50 PM
Not a bit of excitement you needed - Hopefully it will be a wake up call for your brother. Glad that it was a warning instead of a stroke and I hope that he's up and exercising really soon!
hart-- I sure wish it was better news but I hope you feel some comfort tonight in that Mom is safe and secure with some good social contact there.
Hart, I went through that exactly very same thing with my mom. She was not taking her meds (either for her heart or mind) and hiding them everyday in her sheets. She stopped taking her insulin and would only eat candy. My niece found them and we had to have her committed. It was very demoralizing to all of us and she was terrified of the mental hospital. But within 3 weeks she began to improve significantly and was able to come home in 6. After that time with the help of the psychiatrist she became as close to normal as possible.
Don't despair. I know how sad it is to see your mom like that. With the right drugs they will be able to help her find herself again. Even if she will never say it, I know that in her heart she will thank you for getting her the help she needed. Try to do some nice things for yourself and don't let your life become all about hers.
Oh Hart, I am so sorry. You must be anguished and bone-tired. What a tough tough time.
Thanks, Hart.
Hugs
Diane, I'm sorry to hear about your mom. I'm at a loss for words other than you have my prayers for the best. I understand the concerns involving an aging parent, my dad turns 80 tomorrow. It's just he and I left and he lives 1100 miles away. Ric
Ric, has your dad been able to get back into his house yet? I hope he has a wonderful birthday.
Stormy, at least Mom's meds are being addressed now by someone who has expertise in that area instead of the local GP. She went downhill so far so fast I wonder if at least some of the problem isn't the meds.
Sally, when we walked out of that hospital after admitting her, I couldn't believe how relieved I was or how much of a weight had been lifted. I've been so worried about her safety the last couple of weeks. Yes, I am glad she has made a lot of new friends. They all walk together, sit together and talk and during meals, coax each other into eating to keep their strength up. Her outgoing personality and love of people hasn't changed.
Anguished and bone tired is right on the money, Happy. I keep reaching new levels of tiredness I didn't know were possible. Adrenalin is a wonderful thing.
Hart, Here's a little blues to chase yours away
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-vOrILQS0Hc
Ahhhh Diane was waiting to hear how the hearing went - although I had no doubt they'd issue it given all that's gone on. Least that's one thing you don't have to worry about now. And having her in a controlled setting with a geriatric psychiatrist is wonderful...I'm so relieved!!!
Sheesh re your brother! Mercy when it rains it poors...I'm so sorry! Sadly I think many of us (to include myself) need wake up calls...watched Dr. Oz (yes, I like the man!) on Good Morning America...and my thought was "What the heck are WE doing to ourselves?" (diet/exercise etc). Any way....(off topic, I go - as usual)...my concern is for YOU now...please - please take care of YOU...don't make me come up there!!! Hugs!!!
Actually, I got Dr. Oz's book on diet for my brother for Christmas several years ago. I don't know if he read it but I did. I was hoping he'd read about the connections between obesity and things like diabetes, clogged veins and other heart disease issues. Plus he has sleep apnea now too, which is very dangerous and also related to being overweight.
My brother has to have an MRI and he's too large for the one at the local hospital. He's waiting to get an appointment at another hospital that has an open machine. I really hope they'll get him to see a cardiologist or an internist. The same GP that's been tinkering with Mom's meds is his doctor for the blood pressure and diabetes. I've said from the get go I didn't think he had the qualifications to deal with Mom's problems. I don't think he has the expertise to deal with this either.
I am trying to take care of myself and get rest when I can, Chantell. I am trying to eat better too. I have lost weight the past several weeks, which is good but I don't recommend this diet to anyone. LOL
Hart, No Ric's dad isn't in yet in fact they still haven't started on the repairs yet. There is a new contractor and he did put in a new proposal this week. So hopefully the ins co will approve that and they can finally get started.
Hart: My mom was a member of Kaiser Permanente, where they don't (or didn't) have geriatricians and where they try to solve every problem by throwing meds at it. They gave mom so many meds as she got older that she became so ill and disoriented that KP told us to say our goodbyes. We took her out of KP to a geriatrician who popped her in Sibley Hospital, stopped all the meds, and basically flushed her system of all the meds she was on. The doctor then started her back one med at a time until she figured out what was needed and the lowest therapeutic dose. It was shocking how many meds were tossed. Mom did fine and lived many years longer. We never went back to KP.
(((Hart))) continuing to keep you & your mom & the rest of your family in my T&P
Happy, you literally took words out of my mouth. I told my SIL two weeks ago I didn't want the GP to be just throwing meds at her to see what worked. I don't think the problem is the number of meds. I think it's whether or not we have someone who has a lot of expertise with elderly patients, stroke patients and these types of drugs doing the medicating.
Stormy, I forgot to thank you for the Sarah Vaughn. Critter, hugs back at you. How is your little sweetie pie doing?
:-) Hart, she's having a great day -- and so are we! We're getting a lot more smiles from her, and I'm not sure they're all "just gas" LOL. But I was probably pushing it yesterday morning when I told her daddy she'd said "Hi!" to me. (Hey, I'd just said hi to her, and she made a squeaky noise that sounded very much like "hi" in return...)
Pshaw. Of course it's not gas. That's a myth started by male doctors who have never been mothers. And it wouldn't surprise me a bit that that little Critterette is saying hi already.
Critter, Did I miss the homecoming announcement??? When did she arrive?
Adding my vote to those who feel an elderly patient has been over- or improperly medicated---my dad spent a year or so very dopey on anti-seizure med. We couldn't believe how he got back to his old self when someone reexamined the meds.
and another for baby smiles are smiles! a smile is a specific act, an involuntary reaction to happiness, joy, pleasure!!! . jen, go to Prayer requests forum , you'll find a 'little ' thread or so...LOL
They had Mom on seizure meds until sometime last week. She had a seizure the day of the stroke - something that's common with this kind of stroke. They finally started weaning her off of it a couple of weeks ago and she's been off it completely for a few days now. I suspected it was making some of these issues worse.
They started changing out some of her other meds yesterday. They didn't want to do much before the hearing Monday. She had a lot less agitation yesterday evening and slept well. Of course she has bad days and good days but I'm hoping this good day is from the new meds and getting rid of the old ones.
Sometimes the meds do more harm than good. Hopefully they can get that all straightened out.
Thanks, Sally.
I really think the key is to have a doctor who has expertise in a particular area and finesse with drugs in that area, especially when you're dealing with someone elderly and crucially when you're dealing with someone with brain damage or the psychiatric drugs. Many of the most effective psychiatric drugs are fairly new and most doctors don't have a lot of knowledge about them.
Couple that with the hospital doctors quaking fear of another seizure or stroke happening on "their watch". I took my mom in last week cuz she just felt crappy all day. LSS, she spent too much time fearing that she was having heart problems cuz 'after all I'm 90 now" (she said three times to different people) After getting a good EKG and blood tests, she was reassured enough but the ER doc was going to do a head CT to rule out any brain things. Props to Mom for saying no, and I had been with her for three hours at that point and couldn't see a thing brain related going on. Doesn't that sound like butt-coverage on the doc's part? When she balked, the supervising ER doc came in and said she showed a slight urinary infection and D/C ed her with an antibiotic. All's well.
Hope today is another really good day for your mom! I'll go outside and cup my ear cuz if it is I'll probably hear you singing...!