Would that be to not get you started on the differences between the sexes? Okay, I won't get you all riled up.
I have to add my two cents on the romance magazines. My aunt had a subscription to them when I was a child. I am not sure if I read them while at her house but remember some years back seeing some of them while purchasing other types of magazines. On a whim I bought one and began reading. I was immediately hooked on them. Yes, it would have been embarrassing for me if anyone I knew came along while I was purchasing them, but what the hey.
Little did I know at the time how much enjoyment those magazines would bring to me. Even though it has been some years now, I can remember being asked what was my favorite way to relax. My answer for a good while was to have an evening all to myself with no one interupting or needing me for anything, while I spent time reading through these cheesy stories.
Okay girlfriend.... you have a good week and please continue to give us "Momma" updates. Stay cool and don't work too hard.
Ruby
Prayers for my mom please!
No, not the sexes. I'm aggravated with my brother. They did move Mom to a regular room last night. I don't have the room number yet but I'll be going to see her today.
One of her church ladies called this morning and they've just been waiting for her to get moved to start visiting her. She'll enjoy that a lot. I think the rest of my sister's family will be coming up today or tomorrow, including my niece who lives in Turkey, who just arrived home for the summer. I know Mom will be happy to see her. She hasn't been able to fly home for a visit since Thanksgiving.
I just realized last night I hardly know what day of the week it is. I've pretty much lost track and have to stop and think. LOL
Oh Hart, This will be a slow recovery and a long time before you see what all she does and doesn't get back. But it does sound promising.
Oh Ruby, You know my Ric does it all, takes good care of me when injured or sick and cared for his brother when he was dying from Cancer. His care is what kept things together for his SIL and because of it his brother could come home and stay for the last two weeks of his life. He did almost all the at home care. He is definitely the man to have around in an emergency. After the fact is when his emotions take over and usually it has to do with his thinking he could have done more or different. It really is an individual issue he was pretty independent as a child, the oldest looking out for the 2 younger siblings and worked to help with the expenses, on his own at 17. There are just so many factors that all go into it. Not that I discount gender as one of them.
Oh Hart, I'm adding my prayers to this group. Mothers are so special, and such troopers. Hopefully, there will be more good news soon.
Thanks for the updates, hart. I hope the improvement continues, even in little steps - that's a good trend. So glad so much of the family is around - that will be a big help, both for you, and for your Mom.
Hang in there............HUGS, Barb
Thanks everyone. Looooong day today. She's doing well and it looks like we might be able to get her into the best rehab place for stroke victims in the area. After that, she could choose to go to a nursing home or stay at home with in home care.
She was pretty tired today. After they moved her to a regular room last night, they had to keep her bed in the hallway all night because she kept trying to get up and go home. She didn't get much sleep last night so she slept off and on all day.
I took her a bunch of flowers from my garden - she liked that a lot. And I printed a slew of photos of flowers, birds, dogs, her and the great-grandchildren. She really liked those too.
Chantell went to see her tonight - thanks, Chantell! Debra said she really enjoyed seeing you a lot. She seems to really perk up when she has visitors. She's a people person.
One funny moment. The doctor came by and was testing her to see if she could grip with each hand, move her legs, etc. She told her to lift her leg and without hesitation, her leg flew straight up in the air. She almost hit the doctor in the head. And my cousin Pat said, "She used to be a Rockette." LOL
No need to thank me...I wanted to go see her...and you're right she LOVES the flowers. Couldn't score any Iris' for her but found some Mango-ish colored roses...she seemed to like them - wanted to know when you and I would be by for dinner. I asked her what she was fixing - she thought for a moment...then said "oh, but I'm out of buttermilk" - I said what's the buttermilk for...I loved the "look" (as if to say silly girl, what do you think it's for?). She said: "biscuits." I said: "oh yum...I can EAT some biscuits!" then: "What do you put in them" (wanting her to get that wonderful brain working) and dang, if she didn't run down a list of ingredients for me!!! She is a treasure, Diane!!! Your sis was trying to figure out what might ease her neck discomfort and then found a perfect "flatter" pillow - so I held her head/neck steady while she pulled out the other one and placed this one under her head. Not a peep out of her about it hurting while we did it....whew! You have a wonderful family!!!
And wonderful friends too. As soon as I read "buttermilk," I was giving you that look too. LOL Mom is famous for her biscuits. I hope you wrote the recipe down but I think it's her fingers that give them that magic flavor.
That was so sweet of you to bring her flowers. I'm sure she'll be showing them off to everybody, "These are the roses Chantell brought me. I have to make that girl some biscuits."
Awwww...all the talk of homemade biscuits is making me hungry. Chantell, it was so nice of you to go and visit Hart's mom. I am sure they both think it was a lovely gesture. You are such a sweetie.
Now for Hart......was your mom a Rockette once upon a time? I hope that you are getting some rest. With my dad, I found that the real work began when he got home.
Good news on getting out of ICU.
Ruby
I know Ruby...sitting here drooling over the thought of homemade biscuits...let me just tell you!! Then she started talking about apple butter and that was it!!! Mercy!!!
Diane - rose for biscuits!?! Now THAT'S my kind of trade!!
Well, you can't eat her homemade biscuits without her homemade apple butter, made the old fashioned way cooked outside in a big iron kettle all day. Actually, she doesn't do that any more since she got older but if all you've ever had is that junk from the store, you've never eaten apple butter.
She wasn't a Rockette, just kicks like one. LOL
The doctor called this morning. First, she fell trying to get out of bed sometime this morning so they had to move her bed to the hallway next to the nurses again. She's okay but my sister is pretty ticked off. She made sure the rails were up on the bed before she left last night but they took them down because of some concerns about lawsuits over restraints. I have a hunch she'll get them straightened out today. She also has a little urinary tract infection which the doc said could be contributing to the confusion.
She was approved yesterday for the best rehab center in the region for stroke patients. She might be moved there as early as today or tomorrow. It's the Mt. Vernon rehab center in Alexandria. We were very happy they accepted her and said they could help her a lot. She'll be there for a few weeks and then either to a nursing home or back home with a paid caretaker. My sister and I think she should be able to make that decision herself. She might actually prefer to be in a nursing home where she can continue therapy and not have to worry like she does about the house. My father did everything around the house, she didn't even know how to change batteries, and she frets so much when she comes up against something around the house she doesn't know how to do. And of course calling one of us for help seems to be last on her list.
She was doing better later this morning, much more alert. She'll probably sleep a lot during the day again because of another night of trying to get up and go home. I told the doctor this morning I thought it was better to have the rails up than to have her flailing around on the floor.
Editing to add she was moved to Mt. Vernon a little while ago.
This message was edited Jul 7, 2009 4:38 PM
Ahhh good for her!!! Sounds like a wonderful place!!!
Hart, I hope Mt. Vernon is fairly close for you and your sibs, and friends. It can be trying if you can't easily visit. I'm glad she's doing so well and don't wear yourself down too much. Ric
Thanks, Ric. It's going to be a horrible drive for me. It's about as far east as you can get in northern Virginia without swimming. LOL I'm trying to find out if I can find a more direct route because the way the map sites are sending me is going to take about 3 hours, about the same as driving to Richmond.
plus you are going to be in that nasty fairfax area, aren't you? washington political people don't even like the rest of us americans. have yall noticed?
hart glad your mama is at least stable for now.
Aww, Mama, don't be hard on us; we do love you!
Hart: Maybe we can meet for a bite?
Mamajack! Don't you know you've fallen in amongst a bunch of nasty Fairfax area, Washington political types around here? LOL Besides, I spent most of my working life covering those DC and Richmond politicos and most of them are very decent people who like other Americans just fine. Really.
Happy, I'd love to get together for a bite if we can work it out. It's pretty jumbled around here right now.
Talked to my sister later today. The hospital (expletive noun deleted) left Mom sitting in a chair in the hallway for hours and hours today, despite Debra begging them to please move her back to her room. They also ignored her pleas for a bedpan so poor Mom could pee. Debra finally started snapping photos of exhausted Mom in the hallway and, gee, it took no time to get her back in her room and get her a bedpan. Idiots.
What is with these people? They charge lavish amounts of money to leave a sick, exhausted, elderly woman in a hallway all day with her infected bladder about to burst because no one can take five minutes to help her? Not to mention allowing her to fall on the floor because the bed rails my sister made sure were up last night were taken down because of concerns about restraining her?! Thank goodness her roommate was there and woke and saw her on the floor or I guess she'd have lain on the floor all day.
Unbelievable!!! I'm actually have a challenge responding w/o expletives
Oh hart, this is bringing back memories of the last three years with my mom, and I sure do feel your pain. My battle goes on, and I know yours will too - it's incredibly hard to manage things long distance, and even when you are nearby, there are still so many things that can go wrong.
What are we paying these people for if we feel that WE need to be there 24/7 to be advocates for our elderly parents???? (Note - I'm not remotely implying that we're abdicating our daughterly duties!) Hospitals today are an absolute nightmare for those who cannot fend for themselves. My last experience (5 years ago, thank GOD) was a disaster, and pretty scary in retrospect, and it was at a very well-regarded hospital here in Northern VA.
Edited to clarify that "my last experience" was my own experience as a patient, not a family member. I could add many worse stories about my experiences with the care my mother has gotten in two different hospitals in Richmond. It's awful that you feel you need to be there all the time to be sure nothing bad happens, or something important gets overlooked.
Don't get me started. ;-/
Supportive Hugs, Barb
This message was edited Jul 8, 2009 3:19 PM
hart tell your sister to take that camera with her EVERY TIME she goes. put her watch in every photo too. take some pictures of the staff that are sitting around the desk talking too. and tell her to get a legal pad and write everything down. just like nurses notes. time and what is happening. and by all means call administration. also tell her to turn your mama over and look at her butt. if it's red anywhere take pictures. is this a hospital or a nursing home? please tell me it's a nursing home. i expect this at a nursing home but not a hospital.
hart, glad to hear that she's been moved to the rehab center, hopefully she'll get better attention there - that is their job after all, right? We had a situation recently when Rick's father was in the hospital in Roanoke for surgery. Several days after surgery he was suffering terribly with gas, couldn't get it up or "out"! I have a friend who a few years ago was having the same problem after hip surgery. None of the nursing staff seemed able to help her until one night a male nurse who was from Belize came in and gave her a stomach massage. Within two hours she had passed what had been backed up for several days and finally felt relief. I asked the nursing station if anyone could help Rick's father in the same way and they looked at me like I had two heads! Both of the nurses thought it was an interesting "concept" and I told them, well maybe they should train you how to do it! Seems like this is a common occurrence with surgical patients and it should be part of their training to help the patients out?
What directions are you using to get to the Rehab Center? I just looked it up quickly and it shouldn't take you any more than 2 hours! I know that area well because we take the same turn at Walmart on Route 1 and travel down Sherwood Hall Lane to get to the plant sale at AHS every spring. It usually takes us about 2 hours from Mt. Jackson, traveling up 81, over 66 on to 495, 95S, and drop south on Route 1. Of course it's usually early in the morning and traffic isn't that bad from Manassas to 495 that early in the morning. There is a "short cut" to avoid the worst of the traffic if you take the Fairfax County Parkway (7100 at Exit 55A) which drops you on to Route 1 just below Fort Belvoir. There are a lot more traffic lights but you avoid the nasty snarls with four lanes of traffic backed up on 66 :) I do remember there's one 'tricky' part towards the end and I think we left the Parkway at Route 641, dropped south on 638 (Pohick Road) and came to Route 1 a little further south? Maybe someone more "local" can give you better directions?
Holly, it's been taking us close to 2.5 hours to get to Fairfax. This is far past Fairfax and not close to any main interstates. It takes anywhere from 35-45 minutes just to get from my house to Front Royal and you sure as heck can't get to anywhere in northern Virginia in another hour and 15 minutes. Keep in mind I have Joyce driving. She absolutely refuses to let me drive, says it makes her nervous to ride instead of drive, and she drives slower than I would. Kind of drives me nuts but there's nothing I can do about that. The other option is to have Marshall drive me
I found directions last night that would take us across using the Prince William Parkway then up 95 to 1. That makes more sense coming from here and lets us avoid all the heavier closer in traffic on 66 and 495.
I'm so frustrated today. I only talked to Debra for a minute last night because she was so tired. I got no info on exactly where Mom is. She's not on the Mt. Vernon Rehab Center, she's in the main Mt. Vernon Hospital, acute rehab floor. I found that out by trying to call this morning. I talked to three people before finding someone who could give me Mom's room number, they gave me the wrong phone number, the one for Mom's roommate instead of Mom. Finally got Debra on the phone and she's going to call me back as soon as they get Mom down for a nap.
Meanwhile, Jello had a seizure this morning. I'm not surprised with all the discombobulation around here and it wasn't a real bad one. I talked to the vet, they offered to have me bring her there until things get more settled but I can't afford that. I'm just going to have to keep an eye on her the next few days. Luckily Marshall will be home tomorrow when I won't be here.
What happened yesterday was at the hospital, not a nursing home, Mamajack. Actually, one of the best hospitals in the region. The care in ICU was so good but this was in the regular rooms. We saw the same thing one of the times Daddy was there - topknotch care in ICU, awful care in the regular unit.
Well, finally heard from Debra. Mom's having a rough day - more confused, refusing her pills or food although Debra finally got her to drink an Ensure. I think this is probably from the move and that she'll settle down in a day or two. I'll be so glad to be able to see her myself tomorrow.
Hart, some of this sounds nightmarish. I believe that I might have thrown a bigger fit than your sister did if I heard that my mom had been sitting around in a chair all day, especially with a UTI already. I hope that as her time draws close to her leaving there, that a family member will file a formal complaint. Hopefully this was just an off day for the staff and that future service will be better.
Seems like better care would be given to someone who can kick like a Rockette. hahaha As others are warning you, take good care of yourself too and remind your sister to do the same.
Ruby
hart, I hope your Mom has a good secondary/supplemental policy. Medicare will only cover 21 or so days in a skilled nursing facility, and a supplemental policy will take up the slack after that up to 100 days, if I recall correctly. This probably also applies to the rehab facility in the hospital, so the clock might already be ticking.
That's a whale of a commute for you, and not an easy drive to say the least - you just never know what you will encounter up here! When I'm going back and forth to Richmond (where my mother lives) I can feel my blood pressure start to rise about the time I get on 395 South...
Keep us posted and I'm glad you're going to get to see her tomorrow, so you can get a better sense of what's going on.
SO sorry to hear about Jello's seizure!!!
Hugs, Barb
Barb, is it feasible for you to drop down to Warrenton and pick up 17 to 95? Or you can get to it by taking 28 south from Centreville or Manassas. (You can pick up 28 by taking the PW Parkway from 66.) That's actually a pretty stress free drive east on 17 - it's a nice, wide, divided highway with little traffic and pretty scenery. Then you pick up 95 at, shoot, Chantell, what's that exit just north of Fredericksburg? Falmouth. Once you get on 95, seems like it's a pretty quick trip down 95 from there. Probably too convoluted for you but it might be an alternative on a day that 95 is hideous.
Mom has good insurance. She has money too if she needs it. They seem to think she's only going to have to be in this rehab place for two weeks but I think that's optimistic.
I think Jello is just reacting to me being gone and schedules being so messed up. Tomorrow will be much better because I won't have to leave her alone all day.
Ruby, I think these people count on everyone being so exhausted from dealing with them that you're too tired to file a complaint.
hey hart,
Going via Warrenton would really eat up a lot of time for me, since I live inside the Beltway, and it would also involve 66 West, which can be as bad as 95 sometimes! I usually check Trafficland.com before I head out to see about backups. When all is good, I can make it down to the ALF (Assisted Living Facility) where Mom is "temporarily" residing in just over 90 minutes. I also have the option of bailing out onto Route 1 South, which parallels 95, and isn't too bad, especially south of Fredericksburg. So far, recently, things haven't been too bad, but I also try to avoid scheduling her doctor's visits on Fridays in the summer when a lot of people up here seem to be hitting the road early in the day.
But thanks for the ideas - I'll keep them filed away!
I hope your mom is only in the rehab place for 2 weeks, but I'll also say that what THEY consider to be fine physical condition for discharge and what YOU might consider fine is worlds apart. They will send her "home" even if she lives alone and has no one to care for her. The social worker might give you some insights, but it's still always amazing to me. We have had a lot of experience with that in the last two years, and it's been quite an education AND an eye-opener.
Glad your mom has good insurance and savings - that's one less worry!
Hugs, Barb
Don't worry, Barb. We have a doctor, one pharmacist and another pharmacist in training, an OR nurse and a med tech in the family. They'll make sure she's not released too soon. Especially Debra, who right now is ready to kick butt and take names later. And there's no way she's going to be sent home alone.
ooooooooooh, hart you would put the fear of our Lord in their lazy little hearts if you told them that. i remember during nursing reports that information like that always got passed on from shift to shift. in my opinion when they made hospitals into businesses we lost some of the bedside manner that used to be so important to nurses. and i blame administration almost more than the nurses.
hart, I'm glad to hear that you've got all that talent in your family - it can only help as you navigate the miasma that is today's health care!
Have a safe trip today - I hope it goes well.
I think the real problem is she was put into a regular room when she needed more care than they could provide. I was originally told she would be put in a room with three other patients and a nurse 24/7. I don't know why that wasn't done. No space I imagine. And I think another factor is the hospitals are so afraid they're going to keep someone one day past absolute necessity in a certain level of care and then having Medicare and the insurance companies coming down on them.
The entire stupidity of putting down the rails that would keep Mom from getting out of bed is a policy based on fears of lawsuits from too much restraint on a patient. The heck with what's actually necessary for that patient. grrrrr
Barb, I don't know how our family ended up with all these medicos and the oddball Hart branch, with three reporters. LOL My sister has the same mix in her family. One daughter studying to be a forensic scientist (she's actually in Mamajack's Texas now working on her PhD) and one daughter who's an English teacher. So far her son, who just started college this year, isn't leaning in either direction. Maybe we've confused him.
Getting ready to leave in a little while. I have printed numerous maps so I hope we won't get lost in the hinterlands of Mt. Vernon.
After all, it's the admin that has cut costs by scheduling so tight that the staff is pressured almost all shift with urgent needs--including all the computer entry that is now done as care is given--good news for record keeping ----- every infusion now gets barcode scanned against the patients wristband etc. Maybe the high tech care is getting more mistake proof but the hand holding is going by the wayside, well way gone I guess.
Best of luck with your mom's care and the driving, hart.
Well, Mom is better but the drive was a nightmare. It took about 3.5 hours, including time for the stupid directions that didn't match up with roads and mileages given so stopping for directions. We came back by way of the Fairfax Parkway and that was a little better. Probably close to 3 hours deleting the time for stopping at Costco to buy a Northern Virginia map book and stopping in Front Royal to get some food to go. At least now I have a decent map and I can see a better way to go.
Mom was still tired but much better than yesterday, according to my sister. Still has moments of confusion but most of the time knows exactly who's who and what's what. I saw the photos of her in the hallway at Fairfax - I wouldn't have even recognized her she looked so bad.
One hilarious moment. She was in a wheelchair and we were sitting at a table outside her room to give her a chance to get out of the room a bit. Debra told me to come sit on her left so she could practice actively looking to her left since she's neglecting that side. So, I sat down and Debra said, "Okay, Mom, where's Diane?" She turned her head right away and said, "She's right here." Debra told her that was great. "You weren't able to do that two days ago."
"Of course I couldn't," Mom said. "Diane wasn't there two days ago!" We all just cracked up. Glad to know she hasn't lost her sense of humor. Ms. Smarty Pants.
The place looks very nice, the nurses were all great and she's obviously getting better care.
She had several get well cards and really, really enjoys them. If anyone wants to send her a card, just let me know and I'll give you the address. We had her read all of them aloud and she did pretty well. She tends to miss words and letters on the left, reading keep as sleep for example, where she's obviously seeing eep and filling in the blanks on the left. Some people had very fancy handwriting too, which was a bit hard for her to read. She said one card was from "Floy?" It was Jay but it sure looked like Floy to me too. LOL She was so cute. Yesterday's big worry for her was not having her purse, so Debra brought her an empty purse and she makes sure all the cards get put back into her purse when she's finished with them. She said, "I'll get these out a year from now and enjoy them just as much as today." Aaawwww.
I took her some daylilies from my garden and a lily bloom. She just flipped over the daylilies. She asked if I would bring some of those and plant them in her yard when she gets home so she can enjoy them at home. I told her I would. I also took her some lamb's ears so she could enjoy petting the leaves. She got a big kick out of that.
I'm feeling huge relief about where she is now. Not sure how long she'll be there. Maybe 3-4 weeks. Then we need to think about a transitional nursing home until she can go home with a caretaker. She said she definitely wants to go home when she can.
It's so good to hear she is improving and in a better place. I know it is a relief for you to not have to worry so much. You remain in my prayers. It's rough going but you will find the strength to do what needs to be done. Please send me her address for more cards. Shirley
Sounds like a really good step forward, and I'm so glad for you. That was rally funny- Diane wasn't there...Dmail me the address pls? I have a couple of Country magazines--like Birds and blooms. Not recent but doesn't much matter on pics of kids kissing goats etc LOL
I don't mind posting the address here:
Inova Mt. Vernon Hospital
Irene Dellinger
Room 511, Bed 1
2501 Parker's Lane
Alexandria, VA 22306
BTW, I've been assured that any cards sent to Fairfax that she hadn't received yet will be forwarded either to Mt. Vernon or her home address. Of course they may have to sit in a hallway for a day first. :>{
Sally, I sure do appreciate the thought but Mom gets that magazine. The kids kissing goats makes me sure it's the same one. LOL You know what she would like? A photo of your flowers or birds or something if you have one to spare. She may be a late blooming hem head but she loves flowers of all kinds and she loves photographs too.
BTW, Sally, it was strange to see Mom scanned like a package at the grocery store when they took her blood pressure this afternoon. But I guess it helps them to not have a mixup with records.
Sally, That's a great idea. Hart, please send me her address as well. Do you think she'd enjoy some cooking magazines?
I"m so happy she's there, Diane....happy tears here!!
stormyla--look up
Sure hart, you saved me postage LOL What if we could get a round robin going for all these home bound maternal units in this forum...
I don't think she'd care about cooking magazines much unless they were pretty old timey Taste of Home types. She's pretty much an old fashioned, country cook. I swear the only seasonings in her spice cabinet are nutmeg and black pepper. LOL But she likes anything with pretty pictures.
The address is in the post above yours, Stormy. You all are so, so sweet to help cheer up my mama. I wish I had you all here right this minute to give you big hugs.
I'll bring some w/me when I go to see her next week...what time are they allowed visitors until, Diane - do you know?