Well, not much change - the CT scan on Friday afternoon was negative/normal, so they'll be calling to get a referral to a neurologist tomorrow. She still can't walk - has no control of where her legs go when she wants to move. Worrisome, to say the least.
But seriously, I have been in your shoes, not even to the degree that you are currently experiencing, and I really, really hope things calm down and you can see a clear path to the next step.
This is not an easy journey we are all on...Just know you are not alone. Hope that helps a little bit...
Prayers for my mom please!
It does help, a lot, but you know that. Please keep us posted on your mom. I wonder what on earth could be causing this?
Diane, I am praying for strength and calm as you deal with all this.
Sometimes the mood altering (antidepressant) drugs can cause the problem they are meant to cure, just have to find the right one. That is why there are so many disclaimers and warnings on those TV ads.
I just hope things settle down and return to some normality for you all. Hugs.
Diane, I'm following this post along with the others of your DG family. The practical side of providing health care for loved ones and coping with the emotional stress that goes with it can be overwhelming. It looks like it will be a long hard road for you and your family. I'm hoping that each day brings some improvement, and that the setbacks are few and far between. Try to keep your spirits up! My heart goes out to you. Terri
Barb and Sally - will be saying prayers for your moms as well!!!
Diane - have a "yard picked" bouquet for mom - tonight...although she may be on sensory over load with the scent....LOL
My Mom lived with us the last 10 or so years of her life, so I've been on this journey too. It takes about everything you have out of you.
my mama still lives alone. she is 75. i just left her. bless her heart but she really doesn't like having company. she says she does but i think it's too much noise and we move things and it drives her crazy. my brother is the last one to visit her and all i heard about was as the crappy things he did. my sister goes next so you know who is about to be talked about like she was a dawg. lol.
hart i hope your mom is doing better.
Unless something has changed drastically since last night, they're sending her home today. It's been another up and down week. Monday, she was doing really well. She was calm, doing really well in her therapies, had slept fairly well the night before. Even her short term memory was better - she remembered that my ex had come by to visit her the day before.
I didn't see her yesterday, I was at her house helping to get it cleaned and get her new room and the caretaker's room ready. Deb was at the hospital with her and she was horrible. She was hitting and cussing at Deb, hitting the nurses when they tried to get her to lay down in her bed. Debra pushed her around in her wheelchair outside for about two hours trying to get her to calm down. Earlier that morning, she called her own house and left the most pitiful message for my brother saying she was at a mall in Alexandria and didn't have any way to get home, to please come and get her and take her home.
The neuropsychiatrist thinks all this agitation will stop once she gets home, that she's disoriented being in a strange place and will calm down at home. I guess we'll find out whether she's right or not.
We've found two very nice ladies who are certified, the first will be there until next week when the second lady can start. The second lady drives, so she'll be her full time caretaker. I was at the house all day yesterday cleaning and making sure Mom's new room and the lady's room were ready.
Mom has always been the best housekeeper I've ever known. I'm not exaggerating when I say you could have eaten off her floors. It was sad to see how she's let the house slide. I guess she must have been really killing herself to get things clean when we were coming to visit or for family dinners. Debra, my SIL, my cousin Pat and I have spent days getting it all ship shape plus packing up and moving things to set up the two bedrooms.
Chantell, thanks so much for going to see her. Visitors always perk her up and she really likes you a lot. It was so sweet to take her flowers, she enjoys them so much.
Hart, I'm sure she'll be so relieved to be home. Much of their fear is that they will never get to go home again. Don't be discouraged if she doesn't show dramatic improvment immediately. Even the changes at home will take some getting used to for her. You were so lucky to find 2 caregivers so soon. Hope all goes well with them. Even getting used to someone else being in her home will be a struggle for your mom, but hopefully they will make good friends with her.
I was happy to do it, Diane...she's a doll!! And you'd said how much she enjoys flowers so I had to take some to her. She was having an issue with her lips getting dry esp in the corners - probably breathing through her mouth a lot and maybe some of the meds. She's got the chapstick (the good stuff ^_^) I gave her in her handbag - just an FYI.
Good that you got the gals you wanted for her!! And I'm sure she'll be thrilled to be "home" again...she talked about that a lot!!! Very sad that she couldn't leave then!!
Diane, I hope she does feel at home when you get her there and is not upset that you changed her home. Ric
Diane, still sending hugs and good thoughts your way. Hope everything went as well as possible yesterday. You're getting lots of good advice here from those who have already traveled this road.
She was VERY happy to be home yesterday although she was real tired from the move. Ric, she wasn't at all upset about the changes. She liked what had been done with the bathroom and her new bedroom and liked the new tv. (Her house had been struck by lightning shortly before all this happened and Debra's son turned the tv on one night and it caught on fire. Thank goodness Eagle Scout Kevin was the one this happened to and not Mom.)
Chantell, she was asking for her chapstick when I was there yesterday and remembered it was in her purse. I put it on the end table next to her chair. You must be pretty special if she let you give her your chapstick. LOL I've been slathering her lips with the lip stuff in my purse but she wouldn't let me give it to her. I know she enjoyed the flowers a lot.
Anyway, she was doing very well yesterday, a lot less confused and no agitation. Some of her friends came by for quick visits. Today, not so well. She didn't sleep well last night and today she thinks she's at Debra's house, not at home. She's figured it out - Debra has fixed her house so it looks just like home. She's very depressed.
Hart, give it time. Just the trip, the excitement of being home and getting situated probably wore her out. Her new routine will be a challenge too. Especially when the therapy starts. She will need a while to reconcile herself to her new physical limitations. Acceptance is very difficult.
I had forgotten that the county had provided my mom with a visiting psychologist with a geriatric specialty. The social worker arranged it. He had to keep working with the physician to change the anxiety and anti depressant meds until they got the mix right. Medicare paid for it and he came for about 6 to 8 months and after about that time she was down to just a half of one of the anxiety pills daily. I always knew when he was coming as she would want cookies and cake to serve him during their chat. Their visits inspired her to attempt baking again, something she had done almost every day of her life.
Ahhh Diane (((hugs))) - I agree with Stormy though...first day home was probably almost "overload" for her - even with ya'll working so hard to get everything in order - she's had SO many changes recently and when you're not well to begin with that in itself can be exhausting...also lead to exasperating her depression, even if only temporary. Just curious...did they prescribe an anti-anxiety for her? Anxiety is exhausting in itself...just wondering if maybe some Xanax or Ativan might be appropriate????
Chantell, those two drugs are miracle workers.
Chiming in to say that Ativan was definitely a Godsend for my mom's anxiety with breathing issues last summer.
I'd think it was just from being tired from the move if this hadn't been the pattern for the past week and a half - one good day, one awful day. Also, the neuropsychiatrist assured us over and over and over that this would stop once she got home. Because what we kept saying over and over and over was, "What do we do if we get her home and she does this?" Not that we believed her and we were right.
Debra talked to the doctor about Xanax a couple of days ago. As far as I know, nothing was done about prescribing it. I only talked to Debra for a few seconds today because she had to run to take care of something. I'll try and call later this afternoon and see if things have settled down. No sense in calling when she's already swamped. All I know she is still taking some kind of anti-depressant.
I'm so sorry that your mother and your family are going through this Diane. It's so incredibly complicated and always sad when a loved one is suffering.
If she does get ativan she needs to be watched pretty closely. It can impair balance. That said, I agree that it does do a good job of reducing anxiety.
I don't think they would want to give anything that would impair her balance any more than it already is. I'm not sure if this is so much anxiety today as being very down. That's caused by the brain damage and hopefully will, like the memory problems, eventually get better. Or that the anti-depressant will start working better once she's taken it for a while.
I just called again. She's doing much better at least as far as the depression. She was still pretty confused - now she thinks she's at the hospital waiting to sign the papers to go home. She didn't have any of this confusion yesterday.
The daytime caretaker nurse has arrived and Debra said she's terrific. She was not impressed at all with the lady they sent last night, who apparently thought she was going to spend the night sitting on the sofa napping and sounded kind of lazy. They're supposed to send a different lady tonight.
She is feeling better today, not having a horrible day all day, so maybe that pattern of good day/bad day will be broken as she gets more settled in at home. I think that has to be really good news.
SOOOOO glad to hear this!!!!
Hart in our hearts and prayers. Holly
Sounding sort of good! Hope the caretaker situation gets resolved. I'm sure once your Mom realizes that she's really home her frame of mind will improve. HUGS!!!!! Barb
Each day will be a building block in her recovery even if it seems that she's going backwards. Her whole world has turned upside down. Give her some time to process it all in her poor injured brain. I'm sure she is filled with raging emotions and frustrations. At least she can still talk and communicate with you unlike so many victims of brain bleeds.
Good for you & Debra in speaking up about the retired in place nurse. Now the agency knows you are evaluating the quality of care & will be more careful about sending you their slackers.
You know, I was so glad when this first happened that she could talk and didn't have paralysis on one side like Daddy did after his stroke. His memory and thinking were okay but he had no way to communicate and that was horrible.
But I don't know what is worse - having your mind be okay and not able to talk or being able to talk but knowing that your memory and your thinking are damaged. And she does know. On her good days, she talks a lot about how awful it is.
Getting ready to head up again. She sounds better today but had another bad night with little sleep. The new night nurse was much better.
My wishes for a good day go with you Diane! Ric
Please let us know how she's doing and if it's ok if I drop by this weekend or if you think better I should wait... BTW....so no one's creeped out - that was new chapstick...LOL
Maybe that's the key - the lip balm I was offering her was used. LOL Yes, please feel free to visit her any time, Chantell. Your visits are so good for her.
Debra took her out for an outing today to the grocery store and Arbys. Tomorrow she's taking her to the cemetery for a chat with Daddy. She was very happy I brought her rice pudding today with lots of raisins. She wants the recipe. It's an easy one - go to the store and buy a box of Uncle Ben's Rice Pudding with Raisins. Add a bunch more raisins because we know how much you like lots of raisins. Add milk and microwave. LOL
Sally, she got your card today and loved what you wrote - she read it about six times - and the iris picture. I had to tell her all about the iris and the swaps and what a nice lady Sally is and how her mom has been sick too but she's better now.
That's great Hart. A little bit of normalcy will do her good. Getting out will take her mind off of her ailments and allay her fears of being house bound. I'm surprised you were able to get to that point so soon. Maybe she'll start sleeping better now.
I didn't know Uncle Ben made rice pudding!
gag....rice pudding....ugh!! LOL Glad she enjoyed it!!!!
Diane, I'm glad your mom is doing better. Hopefully she will find her surroundings more and more comforting. I hope she accepts the changes to her home as being for her well being and not an intrusion.
Gee, I thought rice pudding was part of a good first dinner menu when I met Holly! I think the first thing I made her was a salmon and walnut croquettes, black bread, and veggie cheese fondue with a nice homemade rice pudding. LOL Ric
Chantell, Have you ever had a rice pudding that baked for hours in an old kitchen cook stove in the middle of January? If not, you haven't had the real thing! That was a treat that equaled hand cranked ice cream in mid August. Ric
Ric - all I know is my mama liked it (still does, I'm sure)....and (sshhhh) I thought it was gross....it's that whole scent/taste being subjective thing, I suppose...LOL
so glad 'mom' had a good day. I love your rice pudding recipe... but I'm with Chantell. The pudding part is OK but I always HATED those squishy slimy raisins in it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah my mom likes it too.
Glad she enjoyed the card so much.. At the very, very least it gives you something else to talk about.
Ric you have to be kidding, right???????????? Maybe not...sigh, the perfect man strikes again!
Holly could make a fortune cloning him.
Chantell and Sally, rice pudding is so bland, you can spruce it up with any flavor you like. I've made it with cocoanut and pineapple, which was good.
Ric, I can't for the life of me understand why Holly married you after serving her that dinner! LOL And I agree - a nice homemade rice pudding is a great tummy warmer/comfort food on a cold day.
Mom slept a bit better last night. She's pretty depressed today but Debra and Pat, who is up for the day, were going to take her to the cemetery to Daddy's grave this afternoon so I hope that will cheer her up.
I hadn't kept up here for a while, but am glad to hear that she is at least at home now. I have been the care giver a few times when there have been hospitalizations of loved ones. It is extremely exhausting. I hope that things will soon settle down for you all and that you mom will soon be back more to her old self.
Hart, I think that it is now time for turn about, fair play. Three years ago you kept on me about over doing things when I was dealing with so many surgeries. My turn now to advise you to remember to take care of your own needs during this stressful time. Your sister also needs to make sure that she is getting her own needs met as well. It is a hard lesson to learn and even tougher to put in to practice, but if we don't take care of ourselves, we are of no value to anyone else.
I am glad to see that all the good Dave's Gardeners have been here for you to help ease the load for you a bit. Chantell, so cool that you have been able to visit Hart's mom. I have always known that you are an extra special sort, and this just reinforces it for me.
It is always good to hear from so many familiar friends. So.....everyone take good care.
Ruby
Diane - you've been quiet...hopefully that means YOU'VE been getting some "down" time...every thing ok?
Hugs!!!
Ruby - you are such a dear heart - better then any ole self help book, I tell you!!! Diane's mom is a sweetheart...it warms MY heart to go see her!!!
Good morning! Hart, I just wanted you to know that I've been following along, cheering with every good thing, sending soft hugs on less good days, and keeping you and your mom in my prayers!
I was thinking too--I hope this means things are smoothing out and hart is able to breathe.
Thanks, everyone. Ruby, I'll be okay. No, I haven't been getting a lot of down time this week but I have been getting some.
I had to dash to Mom's Tuesday morning. The night nurse they sent was very mannish looking and she freaked when she woke up and thought she had a man in her room staring at her. She was running around, throwing open windows and screaming help, call the police. The day nurse was up all night getting her calmed down so I had to get there and let her sleep. I called and found a new agency and stayed overnight Tuesday. I stayed up nearly all night just in case and she slept better and was calm when she did wake up.
She had another bad night last night. Not as bad as Monday night but she didn't sleep much.