This is for our Becky

Becky's mother passed away on Monday Feb 16th. Please keep her in your thoughts.

http://davesgarden.com/community/forums/p.php?pid=6150023

Thanks Ronnie, I needed to know this.. Prayers for her and her family have been on going and will keep going.. Becky and her family are very special to me.. and to all of us.. God Bless you Becky.. may your Mother live on in the hearts of all your blooms for eternity..
Debra

Special thoughts for Becky,her Mother and her Family during this transition...


Peace...


Ron

Becky, I am so sorry for your mother's passing, but glad it was without pain and with dignity and family and friends.

My prayers for you, your mom and your family will always continue.

So sorry for your loss Becky. I'm glad that you had the special time with her
before her passing.

Becky you and your family will be in my prayers.

Dorothy

Becky, my thoughts and prayers are with you.

hugs,
Joanne

Becky, I am thinking about you also. Jennifer

Becky, sending thoughts and prayers for you and your family.
Cathy

I read the link, and the tears ran down my face. What a beautiful end to a life journey, surrounded by love and loved ones. No athiests here, or agnostics either.
Frank

Becky my thoughts are with you...

Becky, so sorry since first warning in autumn.

Becky, I'm so sorry for your loss of your Mom. My thoughts and prayers for you & your family.

Helena

Becky, I am really sorry for your loss and you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Becky, This is sad news. I cried and prayed for you. Karen

Dear Becky,

We grieve with you for your loss of your Mother. May her memory be for a blessing.

Joseph

my Heart is there~and my thoughts too, as well as wishes for strength, courage, and direction for your family....
d

So sorry Becky for your lose. Marie

Becky . . .

You and your family have my deepest, sincere condolences on the loss of your mother . . .
Although it's difficult today to see beyond the sorrow,
May looking back in memory help comfort you tomorrow.

Emma

If anyone is in need of Becky's address I have it...feel free to Dmail me

Thanks so much to each of you for your condolences. It's been a difficult week. It has taken me until today to get the cremation, obituary, and everything to do with the funeral done.

Thank God that my sister showed up. She left her home 3 1/2 hours away to come to my home on Monday afternoon but my mother passed a half hour later. My sister didn't get to see her alive, but we decided to wait until my sister arrived before the funeral home picked up Mom's body. I hope and pray that she had a peaceful death. The nurse seemed to think it was. Mom appeared to be in a semi-coma at the end, though I do think she heard me talking to her as I told her I loved her, that we would be fine, and to go on home to Heaven. She died just a few minutes after I told her that. She just stopped breathing. No struggling, just stopped.

I am so grateful to everyone for their prayers for her to have a peaceful and painfree end to her journey here on earth. I know Heaven's Gates swung open and she was greeted by many loved ones who had gone before her. I can't wait to see her again when my time comes. I miss her terribly. I am so glad she agreed to come stay with me these final weeks. It was such a blessing to me and my family. My dh enjoyed her company and my daughter felt honored to give up her room to her grandmother. We moved her to the family room in the middle of the house during her last 3 days, so she could see everyone and everything going on. We didn't want her to feel isolated in my daughter's bedroom.

She went so quickly. I am glad, but sad at the same time. I wanted more time with her. I wanted 10 more years like she was supposed to get after her heart surgery last year. I didn't want cancer to steal her away from all of us. I feel cheated. Unfortunately ... I guess that is how it often is. Life is so unpredictable. Give your loved ones an extra hug today, in honor of my mom whom I can no longer hug.

Thank you for all the kind posts. :-)

Becky, my condolences to you and your family. I am so glad you had time with your mother before she passed, and she had a peaceful end to her life on earth.

Thank you to everyone.

Life is just not ever the same after such a loss. It's been difficult ... to say the least. I have moments of depression and saddness. I miss my Mom very much. More than words can say ...

I am the personal representative to my Mother's will. Unfortunately, one sibling is causing a lot of conflict and not agreeing with anything. This is also the same sibling that made very little effort to contact Mom before she died. Seems he is more interested in her net worth, than who she was as a wonderful Mother. His loss in ways he will never know.

So ... more unnecessary stress for me. My Mother's estate is very modest and I doubt the four of us children will get that much when it is settled. I am hoping to get a few things that have some value, but they are more about sentimental value than monentary value.

My dh has not had any success finding work. Another major stressor for me.

And my job has become even more stressful with the addition of new members to our classroom. I am not in Kansas anymore, Toto ...

Can I click my heels together 3 times and say "There is no place like home ..." I wish it was that simple.

Becky, I know how you feel about the sibling thing and the estate squabbles over what may seem like not much.. just hang in there and know it is okay to miss your MOM, and be angry or resentful over lack of help from siblings, just know that this too shall pass, and I just know your DH is going to get a job soon ....I feel it in my bones. *hugs*

Becky, it is good to see you back and posting in this forum; maybe it will be a bit therapeutic for you to do so.

It is so unfair that you must carry all these extra burdens as well as mourn your mom. Take it one day at a time and try not to stress too much. I don't know what else to say, other than take care of yourself on this tough journey you're on.

big hugs,
Joanne

We had a sibling thing too with my Grandmother...why people have to be obstintate and cause conflict, dunno..Becky I am sorry...still in daily thoughts...
darren

So sorry to hear that Becky!!!

$$$$$ makes for greed! it makes people do all kinds of deceitful things, even for a few measly dollars. I hope things get better for you, it's even worse when it is a family member. It's too bad that kids even sue their parents now a days...

Y'all are so caring! Thank you.

Unfortunately, I would gladly deal with a greedy relative. The sibling who is giving the rest of us a hard time has some serious issues. He sent us each nasty, threatening letters a year ago. In this letter he stated, ""Mom, you can put me in your will against my wishes ...
and that means I can use whatever you insist I have, to make such conflict as big and extreme and as expensive to others as such inheritance allows...."

You get the idea. My other siblings and I will probably have to hire a lawyer to be able to sell the house because it appears this brother is going to fight us all the way. He's not right in the head. We all know it. In his mind, it is everyone else who has issues and he is the only one who is rational or perfect or whatever. I don't know. (sigh) I sure wish my mother had honored his wishes and left him out of her will. I don't think she thought he was serious. Or maybe, being the loving Mother that she was, she wanted him to get part of the estate too. Maybe she thought it would help him in some way. I think the only thing that is going to help him is to see a shrink.

I worked out in the yard most of the day and clean the entire garden beds and all the dead vines off the fence. Took me forever and I'm all scratched up now! Oh boy! Tomorrow I get to go back to work! Fun, fun! NOT! I want a new life. Anyone want to trade with me???

My life is exhausting right now. Boy! Do I ever need a break!!!

The same thing happened to me with my Half-brother, only he's not mentally ill, just a big jerk. It almost made me have meltdown.. so, pray, that is what kept me going and my children, and husband.. they got me through it all.

Prayers are going from me to you too... maybe the job will distract you some. It might be a blessing in disguise.

Love ya,
A.

AFTER FIGHTING THE NEIGHBORHOOD today about the decorative stones around the lantana in my front vines, i would almost think about it but no unpleasantness should be take lightly. the scratches will heal Becky, some hemp lotion from a beauty supply here is what i found to be best: I mix in some Lavender oil to help speed up the drying of the scratches or any blisters. Hang tough. Hope the DH gets work soon too. I hope to be in Census Bureau come April if lucky...i hope some Vegas luck comes your hubbs way~
d

Becky, your brother sounds just like my three that did the same thing.. we don't talk now, not that we did before.. *hugs*

Dear, Sweet Becky - You may have periods of grief for years - my mom died in Sept. 2005, & still, every now & then, something will remind me of her so powerfully, & I'll miss her like crazy & cry. It's OK, & perfectly normal. When someone has been instrumental in our lives, it is only natural that we have a hole in our lives when they pass on. As far as your brother goes, does it matter that you & your other siblings make a "majority" - could you sell her house & just give him a check of his portion of the proceeds? Am praying he just gives up without a battle. Hugs & love to you! Samantha

Thanks for taking the time to post on my behalf Antoinette, Darren, Debra, and Samantha!

I am frustrated. Seems the reverse mortgage company takes FIVE weeks to send paperwork stating what we need to do. So I can't file my Mother's estate through the court system yet because of that. And of course the court system takes it's sweet time, too! My Mother's estate is small and I now doubt I will get anything, so things with sentimental value are what I want. Unfortunately, because the one sibling is being so nasty, I may have to buy any items from her estate. And money for me right now is at a premium Ridiculous! Seriously, this is not right!!!

I've just got too much to deal with. My dh needs to find a job as soon as possible. Once unemployment runs out, we will be in bad shape. My Mother always told me that we would have a home to come to, but now that she is gone ... that option is not there anymore. Being homeless is something I can't even begin to imagine. So many businesses have gone under here and lay offs everywhere along with foreclosures. I've never seen anything like it in my lifetime. And even scarier, we haven't seen the worse ... yet.

Darren - My dh also applied for the temporary census jobs. He's not heard anything yet. I bet they received a ton of folks applying for those few positions. He passed the test, so he could get a call. He is pretty discouraged with not being able to find ANY kind of work. Nothing. Too bad he's not an engineer or in the medical field. I told him he needs to look into what it would take to go back to school and take some classes at the community college to learn new skills and possibly begin a different career. I wonder if they are giving out student loans.

I joked about buying a tent and living in that so he could go to school. Not so funny anymore. That could actually happen! I have been reading about the tent city in CA where so many families are living because of job losses and foreclosures on their homes. It's just hard to believe that this is happening here in our great country! I don't have a lot of faith in our government right now. They need to create jobs ... and more than just a paltry 2 million jobs! They are going to need to create jobs for about 10 million people before long with all the lay-offs and businesses folding.

I have so much on my plate right now ...

Can you tell I am having a bad day? I haven't had a good day since a few days before my mother died. Back then, I'd get home from work and she would be waiting for me to come sit and talk with her. I miss her and wished I still had that time with her. That seems like a very long time ago now even though it has been only about a month. But so much has happened since she passed away, that I feel like a LOT more time has passed. There is no peace in my life right now. I am worried about everything it seems. I know the old saying, "This too shall pass", but how long is it going to take for things to improve is the real question. And I am afraid to know the answer to that. Right now it looks like it is going to be years! That is certainly not good for my family and I. :-( :-( :-(

Hey Becky, you are right...times are tough. I just got my layoff notice after 15 years on the job. I am starting back in school spring term just because it doesn't seem like a good time to be out there looking for ANY job. Engineers are getting their layoff notices left and right, too. Only healthcare seems to be somewhat secure right now. I don't think things will turn around any time soon and we are really in for a rough ride!

You can still come home and talk to her, Becky. I talk to my Dad in the Garden 8 years on... Also, it took a MONTH for me to be notified about the Census ''hired status''...and, you will not be in a tent~ You have friends...plus he cuold/should Qualify for extended benefits, I did, so look there ~he may be able to get up to 33 more weeks or as low as, gulp, 8, (i was elgible for another 23) thanks to the Congress / Senate doing the right thing~
:D

Beth - {{{Hugs}}} I am so sorry that you also lost your job. It's happening to everyone it seems these days! Good luck in school.

Darren - My dh applied and passed the census test over 2 months ago. (In December) He's heard nothing so far ... His extended unemployment benefits go until the beginning of September. Unless they passed something recently, I think his benefits end at that time. He got 23 weeks (for some reason he didn't get the full 26 weeks) originally (until the middle of May) and I think 17-18 extended weeks, though we are not absolutely sure about that. He was laid off the day before Thanksgiving 2008. I can't find anything on the internet explaining the extended benefits for anything passed recently. I do know that he is supposed to get an extra $25 per week that was passed with the recent stimulus bill, but I don't see anything about a 2nd extention. I would love to find out more information somewhere ...

Well, everyone can come live on our farm and grow MGs and enough food to eat at least. I canned up way more food than we can ever eat last year :)

Becky I'm sorry I'm so late posting my well wishes for you on the terrible event of your Mother's passing. I have you in my heart and in my virtual (((arms))). My Dad went in November and I know how you feel. It seems to get worse before it gets better. Please know how sorry I am for your loss. Your mother must have been very kind and loving if you are any reflection of her. Warmest regards ~ Shawna

Dearest Becky,

I am sooo sorry for posting so late. I just heard about your loss and I offer you my deepest condolences to you and your loved ones. ((((((((HUGS))))))) from someone in South Korea who cares about you even though we've never actually met. I have an uncle like your brother who virtually broke apart the entire family by stealing my grandfather's estate (he's the youngest out of 3 boys and 1 girl, my father is the oldest but happens to be living in the USA with my mom and my sister. I'll be joining them at the end of this year.) Anyway, he stole my grandfather's official seal for documents (which is necessary for signing over land and other legal matters), claiming that my grandfather had rightfully given the property to him. My grandfather who is 84 now, got so depressed and had such high blood pressure that everyone in the family was extremely upset. My dad in the USA had to get involved and faxes of testimonies and documents were sent back and forth. In the end, my grandfather ended up going to court against this jerk of an uncle (the family has officially disowned him and his entire family which includes his only 2 grandsons, a precious asset in Asian society). My grandfather got to keep his pottery exhibition hall (he's a famous ancient Korean green celadon artist in Korea), the clay used for his work, and the factory, but the court awarded the house to my uncle, who refuses to fix the heater or anything else for that matter. As a result, my grandfather has had to live in a very cold house with many portable heaters and an electric blanket and mattress pad in the winter. My uncle also stole several thousand dollars from him, leaving my grandfather virtually penniless. My blood boils at the audacity of this jerk. Thank God my aunt was able to borrow enough money from the bank to buy an apartment for him this past March. He has been living this way for the past 5 years.

Well, I hope my story is a small consolation to you. There are bad apples in every barrel, and I'm sorry you're going through such a stressful time. My thoughts and prayers will be with you.

Love,
Elizabeth in South Korea

P.S. I will be starting your MG seeds that you sent me last year in a week or two so I will be thinking of you everyday as it grows and blooms at my English academy!

edited for spelling

This message was edited Mar 13, 2009 12:34 PM