Need some advice on a memorial tattoo..

Some of you who know me, already know the basics of this story so just bear with me through a short explanation, please. On November 7, 2003, my nephew Brian Jr. was born, to my only sister and her husband. They already had 3 daughters, and wanted a son so badly, to carry on the family name. My brother in law is the only son of an only son. Brian Jr, was 5 pounds, 11 ounces, and was stillborn. My sister was 37 weeks pregnant, went in for her 37 week check-up, and he was dead. He had a 2 vessel umbilical cord (a normal cord has 3 vessels) and the cord had wrapped around his leg. Due to the cord already being compromised, there wasn't enough blood pressure to keep the blood moving after it became entangled. You have to understand, my sister and I are very close, our kids are the same ages, within just a few months of each other. This was her first pregnancy that I wasn't pregnant along with her. I have my 4 kids, and she has hers, but they are ours in spirit. I know that losing Brian didn't hurt me as badly as it hurt her, but having lost 3 babies of my own, (never that far along) I knew the pain she was going through, and it was just a horrid time in all of our lives. She does now have boy and girl twins, that were born December 23, 2004, so they finally have their son to carry on the name, but Brian Jr is still very much a part of our lives.

Now to the part where I'd like some input. Jennee (my sister) and her husband (Brian Sr.) both have memorial tattoos for Brian Jr. It has always been a given that I would get one also. (yes we are a family of tattoo nuts LOL I have 5, my sister has 4, Brian Sr has probably a dozen and even our mom has one) I know basically what I want, its just a very plain, small tattoo that will go on the back of my neck, just blue angel wings with his name and the date. When we speak of the baby, we call him "Baby Brian". So, should I have the angel wings, with "Baby Brian" with the date underneath the name, or should I go with "Brian Jr."? I can't just use "Brian". A friend of mine said tonight that having it say "Baby Brian" or "Brian Jr." would make it seem like it was my baby, not my nephew. My sister knows what I want, and is fine with it, and she couldn't decide between Baby Brian or Brian Jr. She is actually the one that wants me to put it on the back of my neck. All of my other tattoos are in places that you can't see when I have jeans and a t shirt on, or shorts, socks and a t shirt. I have been planning on getting one on the back of my neck, so that isn't the issue.

I guess what I'm asking for is some 3rd party advice, not in whether or not to get it, I know some people don't like/want tattoos. But more of what would be more fitting for the wording (his name and the date).

I know that some people won't agree with this decision, but I really don't want this to turn into a thread about those who are for and those who are against tattoos, please.... just some ideas on what would make it the best memorial to him.

I know that the first paragraph of this post is read for some to read, and I'm sorry for that.

Thanks so much in advance for any helpful words..

Hugs to all,
Janis

Hey there kiddo,
I think it is a loving idea....Baby Brian with the date would be good. I don't think anyone is going to ask but if they do you can just tell them it is for your nephew and leave it at that.......

Hugs n Love
Lauri

Hey Janis!
I think that it is wonderful that you want to do something so special! I hope the only responses you get here are good ones!!! I am so sorry to hear of such a sad loss to you and your family, and believe that you should put whatever you feel is right in your heart. If someone is interested enough to ask you about your tattoo, that will allow you the opportunity to tell them the story. Personally, I like "Baby Brian", which doesn't say he was 'mine' or he was someone else's, just that it was a baby that you loved dearly, even though you didn't get to keep him with you. I am sure whatever you choose it will be the right one, and he, along with his angel wings, will always be there with you!
HUGS
Tammy

Thanks guys :) And big hugs to you both :)) Miss ya lots Lauri... we need to talk, but international calls are a bit pricey LOL

I'm leaning toward "Baby Brian", just because that is who is he, if that makes sense.

Hugs
Janis

You bet, Janis, and glad to hear your wrist is better!!!

Janis, I knew this but not the details. Thanks for sharing and being so open.

I have a friend who lost child, as well. She added a small heart with a teardrop after her name.

I echo what the others have said, Baby Brian sounds like the wording of choice, especially since that is what ALL of you call your sweet nephew. My sister lost a baby boy while I was pregnant with my 3rd, the only time we were expecting at the same time. It was an awful experience and almost identical to what you described, Patrick was younger than 37 weeks. I'm so sorry for ALL of your losses. ~ Pat

Thanks so much for all of the positive input :)) Its sad, but so many people I know have lost a child, or one in their family. Its such a hard thing to go through.

Pat, I can't imagine how hard it had to be for you, being pregnant when your sister lost her baby. I felt so guilty after Jenn and Brian lost Baby Brian, because I already had 2 boys, and they had theirs taken from them so abruptly. I knew that it wasn't my fault, but it seemed so wrong to me at the time.

All of my tattoos mean something to me, but this is the one that I have struggled longest with, to get everything right about it. Seems kind of ironic that the one that is to me most important, will end up being the smallest one I have. Kind of makes sense in a way too, as he will forever be the baby.

Thanks again for all the support.

Hugs,
Janis

Great big huge HUG to you, Janis! We love you lots.

:) Back at ya Kwan

Same from me, Janis. "Baby Brian" seems to be the most appropriate choice because that is how you all think of him.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Janis)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Mau

Thanks for all the advice, guys... here is the tattoo... sorry its blurry, will get better pics soon :)

Janis, that is beautiful! I can't wait to see it in a couple weeks when it is totally healed!!! :)

BEAUTIFUL!!! Janice You are an awesome sister and aunt.

Thanks (blush) It is bigger than what I had planned, but I took my sister with me, and she pretty much picked out the wings and the lettering, so I'm very happy with it :))

Very nice, Janis. I love it.