Singles Forum?

Is there one for us single folks are is there ever going to be one?

What sort of discussions do you envision having there? I can't picture DG turning into a dating website and that's what pops into my head when you say singles forum!

No Not a dating site..Just some where for single can chat and share insights to being only 1 person

There are already innumerable forums here on DG where unmarried, widowed and divorced people (who all qualify as "singles") actively participate and share insights, advice and challenges along with everyone else. I see no reason to add yet another forum when there are already so many of them.

Well, the good thing about a singles forum, is that it would allow people who live near each other to find one another to hang out. ...and I mean hang out not hook up... I remember the worst part about being single was that when all your friends are married, it's hard to get them to come do something on a weekend. That's sort of seen as family time. Going to a bar is just awkward at any age over 22- especially by yourself, and going out to a movie is just another reminder that you are alone, and the entire rest of the world is paired up. I guess I just don't see anything wrong with a singles forum. It's hard to find a mate if you aren't out in the world so they can meet you, and almost impossible (unless you have the social skills of a politician) to just throw yourself out there without some help from other singles.

We've got a retirees forum here right now so why not a singles forum if enough members express an interest to warrant same. Hyblaean raises some very valid points. I don't think G4B was asking for a forum to be able to find a date because I happen to know that's the last thing in the world she would be interested in but more for a forum to be able to share trials, tribulations, tragedies, and triumphs of making it on one's own. I know it's going to be hard for her budgeting money by herself for the first time in her life and then there's this thing called a checkbook that I don't think she's ever had to deal with before. Now add the little issue that most people are paired up so conversations naturally gravitate toward our mates, children, inlaws, etc. In looking at the last RU we had for the UMW, I honestly don't think there was even one person there who was single. Many people came without their spouses/boyfriends/girlfriends/SO's but I can't recall one person who was single. If I was single I might be interested in a forum for others living a similar lifestyle.

Single.........

When did you become single? I'm happy for you but have no doubt it must have been a tough decision. It's like a death in many ways and getting a divorce is scary because there's much uncertainty involved in darn near every step along the way.

If you can't give kids a healthy marriage, give them a healthy divorce.

Amen, Equilibrium.

Yeah, I second that divorce comment, too- speaking as one of those kids. Sorry G4B, didn't know the story & didn't mean to offend, if I did at all. I just think that people should be allowed whatever specific contact and support they need :) I charged in blind.

Hy;
Understandably...Being single for the first time in my life is very scary and would like to have others to chat with that have been down that road..I have a good job but the money issue is going to be tough to handle at first..I have to learn how to be very careful on how I spend it..I need to budget so I can do the thing I want like going to the UMW in June..
G4B

No harm in asking anything on these forums. That is what they are for. If I was single I think I would love it. BEV

I can see where it would be helpful, because married people who have not been divorced, or lost their spouse, do not understand what it is like to be thrown into an entirely different world.

Not only are finances an issue, but remembering who you are again, loss of "friends," feeling out of place because you're no longer a couple are also issues, along with many others, like anger, hurt, etc.

I've been a single mom for close to 10 years (yikes!) now, so I know that a lot of adjustments, soul searching and discovery must take place in order to feel "human" again.

I think a singles forum could be one I'd visit. Divorce needs a pep squad, or a comfort group. Aloneness does too, especially at the outset.

Perhaps a different name, not "singles," would deter the first impression of a dating scene, like "Going Solo?"

It's worth considering. At work, I always hear from all the crew older than me that "My age group doesn't know how to get together & have fun without drinking & getting out of control." Where I live, there aren't many options for "single folks" to hang out without alcohol being served.

Hyblaean has the right reasons... We wouldn't be looking for dates... just someone else to spend our time with besides being alone. If you have been married, have children, are widowed, or have family living nearby, I do apologize, but you can't completely understand the loneliness that comes with being single. Some weekends, I can count on one hand the number of people I've had a real conversation with ... and the horses don't count. :)

True-
So I think a Go Solo group would be great..
I was thinking Solo Sisters but them I thought nope because it's not all ladies...
So Go Solo is good.

There is also a thread going about Relationships with some good cautions.
http://davesgarden.com/community/forums/t/802989/

I have been single in my life and stayed that way for 12 years before remarrying. What I did was get out into the world, joined a church, did volunteer work for a local charity, focused on my career, took classes, formed a hiking group. I met lots of people and many remain friends to this day.

Believe it or not, married people get lonely too. And people with children often don't see them for long periods of time. These are Life issues and not restricted to "singles". You can have a ton of conversations in DG on just about any subject in dozens of forums.

Just something to think about. ;-)

June - "Before ReMarrying". Some of us haven't even gotten that far.

It'd just be nice to know I could go somewhere to talk about what's new in my life without hearing about "how someone's kids did it", or "how great the new grandbabies are".

AngelSong - Well, I will echo that! It's hard to find any thread that stays on topic for long in DG. Everything posted in DG is open for viewing and participation by any member at any time, and I expect that pretty soon pictures of grandkids and flowers will be popping up in here! LOL

June

There are some people out there who are single but have kids, grandkids, etc so you're not going to avoid discussions about the new grandbabies, etc by having a singles forum. In fact, I imagine topics relating to being a single parent would come up quite frequently, I would guess that's a big challenge and people are going to be looking for plenty of advice in that area.

Yeah.. That's the problem. My age group, lifestyle, & marital status fits into this teenie tiny little niche... Just about everywhere. Work & church are no different than here.. We're not married, never been married, no kids, no family nearby, committed to careers before families...

I'm not single, but I think DG would benefit from a forum for these members also, they pay their memberships just like everybody else and why shouldn't they get something they really need? Because some married person say's no? They too deserve to have place to NOT put up with DH or DW all time, especially when it is all about the otherhalf... they have very different needs that need to be met too.

I vote yes... baby!!


Edited to add: I hope I did not offend anyone here, I was just thinking of the widows and widowers too. Please do not stop posting. It would be nice for them to have a place to share ideas and whatever else they cared to discuss.

This message was edited Jan 30, 2008 3:16 PM

Would a lot of the topics being mentioned here work as threads within the "relationships" forum being discussed? That forum (if it forms) seems like it'll cover a lot of ground... maybe the various "singles" discussions could start over there, and then if there seemed to be a need for it (eg, if half the posts were on "singles" topics), another forum could be split off from it, sort of the same way some of the more specific plant forums have come about.

I may be missing the point, but having glanced through the two threads, I'm seeing a lot that they have in common... and combining the requests into a single new forum might get the ball rolling with admin. ?

I'm not particularly enthusiastic about the relationships forum. I'd be more interested in knowing how people who live alone cope with certain realities. Like, what do you do if suddenly you're suddenly hurt? Or need to move something heavy and don't have muscle or money? Or how to circumvent the dinner coupons in restaurants that require two or more guests.

I get my relationship advice in parking lot. :-) Maybe if I was good with relationships, I wouldn't again be single.
ha! :-)

Lurking, not talking. I am married, but I am interested to see what will happen here. I feel for a 'place to call your own' for every group imaginable. And I suppose that includes the singletons too.
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