Funny throw up

Yes I am gross. Decided to start a whole new thread on this. Really, I'm putting off calling son's teacher about why he's failing...OK, I left a message. I am dreading the return call but thats a whole nother topic.

So it sure ain't funny when it's happening to YOU but..... can make good story later! I kow you can top this. One night out of sound sleep, realize my 6 yr old son has come to my bedside. He says "Mom..............bluuuuuuut" and barfs all over my chest. Being my third kid I have the presence/absence of mind to think- Well, good, he threw up all over ME and my nightgown I can take off, so glad I don't have to get up in the middle of the night and change the bed!!

OK, now make me laugh...

Glad those days are over, I recall our kids coming in to our room while throwing up.

isn't that when you get pets, so they can throw up all over the house?

I'm gross, too, Sally!

Last night DURING dinner, one of my cats came in the room and ralphed all over the throwrug. THEN, after I fell asleep on the couch, the OTHER cat came in PUKED ON THE SAME RUG!!!

Yeah, fun.

oh the irony

I think my kid can beat that; he threw up in my room, all over himself, myself, the laundrybasket, the lamp and 3 walls!!! Oh, and the stairs too. All at once. Please take note; I am no hero when it comes to people puke!!!!

I just wrote a blog on this topic, believe it or not.
Care to answer I question I posted in it?
http://mrschristiecolla.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!93FFB82EDBFF1053!3442.entry

CC

I have a short story about one of DG users (kiska), who's my sister. We were on our annual trip across county, from CA to MI to visit our Dads family. Mom and Dad had us four kids stashed in various locations in the car. Kiska at the time was directly behind my Dad, the Official Driver; she said "I'm sick"..and Blamm, right down the back of Dads neck.
It was the Best Trip! At least the one that has stuck w/me for nearly ... (drum roll please...) 45 years.!

boy am I relieved to find I wasn't totally weird and outcasted for starting this thread!! Yep, I've been topped. Going now to see what CC wrote ...

Humorous! I'll answer here- I'm not sure, I think we go by kind of a - first responder cleans it- rule. Hubby is pretty cooperative with midnight mess duties. Luckily haven't had too many barfy illnesses. One vacation at my sister's, all three kids and my mother had a bug for a day, a downer for vacation for sure. Felt so bad for my mom, and for my kid who had it first , who I had talked into eating some soup for lunch because I thought he was just being picky. Poor kid really was nauseaus (sp?)

This message was edited Dec 17, 2007 10:37 PM

OK, I'll join the gross discussion! My daughter was about 10 and had quite a high fever. We took her to the emergency room after supper (pistashio pudding for dessert!). The doctor walks into the room and she projectile vomits about 6 feet across the room all over him.....green.....really disgusting. Poor guy!

Ooh, like the Exorcist. LOL!

Our vomit stories all involve pets. One of our cats eats very quickly, wolfs down her dry food and subsequently upchucks not long after she eats. Well...Now this is really gross, y'all...Our dogs have come to recognize the sound of her retching and come running to wherever she is. Hot meal.

Told ya it was gross!

Sure makes clean-up easier, though.

eugh Gardenwife.

Tori barfed all over the lobby at McDonald's last week. I feel really sorry for the people eating there at the time and the people in line behind us.

When I was pregnant with Tori, I got pulled over by an Alabama state patrol officer because my tail lights weren't working. I had "all day sickness" when I was pregnant with her. I threw up all over his legs and shoes. Poor guy. He let me go with a warning :))

now somewhere there are a doctor, a cop and a retired couple telling THEIR throw up stories !!
Oh, and the dogs!! After my puppy eating poop, I am not too grossed out by the hot meal...They aren't gonna let that good protein go to waste.

Well, I don't have kids, but I am one of ten (nine boys; one girl).

My bed was located at a ninety-degree turn between the other adjacent bedroom and the nearest bathroom door. All overnight sick siblings would come running through and have to make that 90º turn in order to make it to the bathroom and their target of upheaval.

You can guess that I had many unsettling experiences resulting from inability to negotiate that corner. It wasn't always just vomit, either, as you parents might imagine.

Couldn't wait for the next older brother to grow up and move out so that I could get away from that bed's location.

Oh, man, Viburnum...No doubt!

I'll take the top bunk, please.

LOL...nothing like a good old fashioned thread about upchuck. Bwa ha ha!

Hubby and I ate at Red Lobster a few months ago. He walked out of the
restaurant, within clear view of the entire place via the windows, and
barfed all over the parking lot. Not sure the customers were certain of their
meals anymore.

KM

Whoa!
Not to trash Red Lobster, because when I inspected restaurants they were a very good operation, but my kid lost a big shrimp dinner from there, so we haven't been back in six years. I suspect you may not be going back any too soon either, WUVIE! Ithink my son drank too much soda. But waited til we were home to do the deed. '
Now my daughter lost it in the van just outside Friendly's once, too much choclate ice cream probably. A young couple was nearby and were so kind in giving us a handtowel "Just a cheap Walmart towel, keep it, really!" to help clean up.

so VV, did you develop a habit of sleeping with head under the covers?

Well, at least wrapped in the pillow...

There really was no defense against this type of assault.

It could come at any time, and in a variety of sibling sizes. I was fifth in line, so they could be larger/older, or smaller/younger.

The common denominator was that the smell would linger for a long time. Probably ruined any medical career ideas I may have entertained.

The shame was that one graduated to this upstairs bedroom that only housed two kids, from the downstairs five-banger that had the bunkbeds. So much for seniority!

I am sure lucky to have the enzyme spray that eats away the smell in a day!
My parents didn't have that, and with 5 girls in the house, many carpets found their way out of the house this way!
Christie

LOL Sally, I should mention, it was not Red Lobster, but hubby's health
which was the problem. Sadly, I thoroughly enjoyed my meal and felt
bad that he lost his.

KM

Wow, what a sick and perverted thread! I like that in people.

No fun being sick but sometimes it can be funny. The funniest one I ever saw was over 30 years ago while I was in the Navy. We left Norfolk, VA for a six month cruise in the Mediterranean. It took us over a week to get to Rota, Spain.

Sailors have a bad reputation for being animals at times. After a week away from land, a lot head to the nearest bar when the ship is tied up and liberty is called. Some of my ship mates went over but most get in at a decent hour (around midnight) but one guy in our division (group) came in at 5:30 AM and climbed into bed. I told him that quarters for muster (roll call) was just 45 minutes away but he said he would be up there in time.

Our division formed two lines when quarters began (I was in the back row) and listened to the division officer, the chief petty officer (CPO), and the leading petty officer (LPO) brief us on our duties for the day. Just before we were released, the same fellow who came in just 45 minutes earlier from a night of drinking promptly threw up right in front of the chief (who nobody liked). Needless to say, it splattered on the chief's shined shoes and sharp creased khaki pants. The chief went slightly ballistic and the fellow just wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and said something like "I feel so much better". We all snickered as quietly as we could while in formation. Then we had a laugh fest down in our berthing compartment after we were released. The chief had his shoes shined and his pants laundered and ironed by the same guy but that was probably a light punishment.

Oh, how I wish I had taken my camera up there that morning.

My story isn't funny but her goes...Our older daughter got sick in the night when about 7. She came down the stairs and threw up coming down. She then slid down the uncarpeted stairs so hard she passed out. Later, she said that while unconsious or whatever, an older man in white met her and told her she had to go back. She then heard us calling her.

oh Indy, thats a scary scene, and slightly eerie.

Just remembered. While learning to drive with my dad, I was coming down a long truck stop merge ramp, out to highway, when a pulled-over semi opens his door and barfs, aaaaalllll the way down to the ground. Dad was really afraid I would be glued to that scene and forget to drive !! as well he should- it was amazing.

LOL, Hcm, I just read your post to hubby. He said, "Yeah,
that sounds like trip to Rota, been there, done that port."

;-)

Wuvie, Rota is the first port of call going to the Med and usually the last coming back home. On my second Med trip we went to the Arctic Circle and then to Scotland before heading back (brrrr). Your husband probably knows all about sea sickness too. I was sea sick for 3 straight days in early spring off Cape Hatteras. The wind and seas were really throwing the ship about and we had not been out to sea in over nine months (I lost my sea legs). The group I was in had duty stations indoors and most of us were sick. The gunner's mates had outdoor stations and most of them had no sickness. Even though we were only out six days on that trip, it is one I won't forget.

I wonder if being down inside is more likely to make one sick in rough weather than being topside. I remember getting nausiated riding down in a tank jerking around but if you can look out the top, it is ok.

Before I get to my funny throw up story I'd just like to state, for the record, that I do NOT throw up. Yeah, I know, you don't believe me. Neither do the doctors, but it's true. I have a standing record, that I am very proud of. I have not thrown up since the 5th grade. It's been 22+ years. My mother was the same way. It doesn't matter the grossness I face or the bug or sickness I get...it just doesn't happen. Ain't I spppecial? LOL!

Ok, now on to the funny story.........

A new friend and I went shopping one day. She brought along her 2 year old daughter. I don't have children, but I adore them. I spent most of the day playing with the little girl, putting her up on my shoulders when we were in the stores, fussing over her, etc.

My friend's motive for bringing her daughter was to encourage me to have children. You know how friends are, always wanting the best for you. She wanted me to spend time with her (truly) adorable daughter to know what I was missing. This was something we talked about during the day, not something she did in a sneaky manner.

After all our shopping was done we decided to grab something to eat at a nice little restaurant. We're munching away, enjoying our meal, when the Mom says that the little girl just doesn't look right for some reason. She assumes it's gas and begins to pat the little one on the back. The little one's face has gone from sweet and lovely to crumpled and grouchy. My friend is cooing to her as she continues to pat her on the back. With no warning at all the little girl opens her mouth and blaaaaaah's all over herself, the high chair and the floor. Mmmmm....macaroni!

Of course, everyone in the restaurant turned and looked. My friend was so embarrassed. I found it hard not to burst into tears laughing, but that would have been so inappropriate, so I bit my tongue. My friend was also getting sick herself while she was trying to apologize. She grabbed the little one and ran for the bathroom.

While she was gone I sat at the table by myself and nearly busted a gut to keep from laughing. A waiter very graciously came over and mopped up....and told me that this kind of thing happens a lot more than anyone thinks. That really made me wonder.

So, my friend finally returns from the bathroom, with baby in tow. Her face is somewhere between white as a ghost from being sick and bright red from embarrassment. Somehow, somewhere the little one had lost her sandal. Oh, there it is, on the floor, in the macaroni. My friend looked like she was doing all she could to hold it together, so I grabbed the shoe and headed to the bathroom to clean it. Ok, I admit, part of me wanted to prove that I could handle parts of a "Mom's job" if I had to.

Back to the table with the clean shoe and my friend says, "Now, don't you want your own little one so you can take her to restaurants and she can puke all over? Wasn't this a great experience?" Finally I was able to laugh.

We've never gone to lunch again.

Oh, I thought of another one. When DH and I were first married we used to take our nieces and nephews on outings. One time we took DH's two nephews to Sea World....

We arrived at their house early to pick them up since it was a 3 hour trip. They were both very excited. They were probably around the ages of 6 and 4. We packed them and their stuff into the car and headed out.

About an half hour into the trip the 6 yr old says he doesn't feel well. I tell DH that maybe we should stop....he says there's no place to stop. Ummm...the kid's gonna puke, doesn't he get it? MAKE a place to stop! The 6 yr old starts to whimper and moan a bit and says again he doesn't feel good. He says he's gonna throw up. Finally DH gets it and MAKES a place to stop.

DH and I look at each other like, "Now what? I ain't doing it!" By reasoning of relationship I figured it was DH's nephews, so it was HIS job. He got out, ran around the car, yanked the kid out of the car just in time for "yaaaaaack!" Whew, that was close.

So, we're back on the road, everyone is happy and feeling fine....when the 4 yr old says he's not feeling well. He starts imitating the sounds his brother made while yacking. Lovely and very realistic. Such talented children!

For the next 2 1/2 hours we go through the routine of, "I feel sick, I think I'm going to throw up, yaaaack!" from the 4 yr old. Then our response of, "Oh, then maybe we should turn around and go home!?" Then the 4 yr old, "No, I feel better." 10 minutes later we start all over again.

The 6 yr old is now in his first year of college, but we still tease them about this....and every time DH or I says we feel sick, the response is inevitably, "Oh, then maybe we should turn around and go home!?"

Hmm, I'm starting to wonder if maybe this is an effect I have on children? You'd think I'd have learned by now not to go places with other people's kids.

About 12 years ago, I had the oldest one in the tub (he was 8), my 6 year old came running for the bathroom to throw up his entire turkey dinner (undigested by the way the kid never knew when to quit eating) made it to the doorway and just about covered the entire bathroom floor. Now the one in the tub is yelling to get him outta there cause it smells, the puker is now by the toilet nervously laughing with a handful of puke gelling his bangs straight up in the air..........and here comes the three year old running across the kitchen to see what all the commotion was. As I am yelling no, she hit the mess, flipped up and landed flat on her back. So there was four of us in a 5' x 9' area, one crying, one laughing, one yelling to get out, me yelling you know whats and dad was where? Twenty feet away laying on the floor watching tv.

there are many prize winning stories here!

This thread is really "sick" in a slightly fasinating way. I can't stop laughing. Something wrong with me.

I had to add my upset tummy story. Many years ago, when I was just a cutie pie little girl of maybe 6. Our family went to the fair.
No, no, not the rides, we never went on the rides.
It was a hot day and we were looking at the canning, antiques, tractors, farm animals. You know all that old fashioned fair stuff. 1960?
Well, we didn't have a lot of money, so Mom packed a nice lunch of ground pickled bologna. Now, I am not really fond of this sandwich, but years ago, you ate what was given to you and didn't compain.
About an hour later, I was feeling poorly. We were in an barn looking at the lastest in electric fireplaces and women getting long hair, by adding a headband with this fake hair on it.
I suddenly started to loose my lunch. My Dad (really embarrassed) gets out his nice red hanky and wipes my mouth. All better.
The next day when he came home from work, he told the story of how he tried to use his hanky and lost his lunch.
Instead of feeling bad, the nice kid that I was, burst out laughing. And of course proudly retold the story to whoever would listen. I have always been a little warped at what I am proud of.

What a visual your bathtime story is, especially the 3-year-old's slip and slide. Ohhhhhhh, and that hanky! Ewwwww! LOL

Ok, not so funny as much as gross, but this just happened ot me the other night. I ended up in the emergency room with a wicked sinus infection, and the doctor put me on huge doses of antibiotics. They make me really sick to my stomach, no matter how I take them (with or without food, etc.). Mike brought me home Shrimp Chow Mein one night, since I didn't feel like cooking, and I ate the whole (large) order, then took the antibiotic. BIG mistake. I have had my tongue pierced for 10 years now (I know I"m too old for that stuff LOL) and throwing up Chow Mein with the bean sprouts, getting them wrapped around my tongue ring was an experience I never ever want to repeat. I think I'll stay away from Chinese for a good long time too :((

i can top it (pun intended).

had 2 young brothers, one feel asleep on couch, other floor by couch.

in morning they get up.

mom asks one, "what is that pink stuff in your hair?"

i kid you not, go downstairs and realized the kid on couch had thrown up, unknowingly, during the night.

that "koolaid" incident permanently stained the couch, carpet and scarred the boys. ha!

You guys are all sick (pun intended!) and I love it! LOL

The other day Mattie threw up. ( Mattie is 7) Not much, he just played too wild after eating.
He is calling Sparkie, the cat.
I ask him why; he says " she eats ollivers puke, so she can have mine too if she wants"
Olliver is the other cat.
YUK!

Hilarious stories. Cparts, you're not the only one who has always found these things amusing. I remember once in high school, in the nurse's office..........

There were four of us kids in her office, three of us girls and one boy. We were waiting for the nurse to come back from lunch. Us girls were sitting there chatting, the boy just kept to himself and was quiet. The nurse finally showed up, we all stood up, stating our ailments. The boy really didn't look good and was starting to get weak in the knees a bit, so he sat back down. Next thing you know he's running for the bathroom. He slams the door and all you hear is "BRRRRRAAAWWWGGGG! BRRRRAAAAWWWGGGGGG!"

I couldn't help it, I burst out laughing. I don't know why I found it so funny, it really was horrible...but I couldn't quit laughing. I looked at the other girls and they obviously thought I was crazy and very insensitive. The nurse then told me, "Heather, that's not funny!" in a very harsh, scolding tone....

I answered, "I know!" and walked out into the hallway laughing even harder. The nurse never like me after that, and I guess I don't blame her. I don't know what came over me that day, but you'd have thought I was just given laughing gas for how I was acting.

The really funny thing is that when the boy emerged from the bathroom he was laughing too. Go figure.

I told DH about the bathroom with one kid in the tub and two more showing up woth hubby watching TV through the whole thing and he starting laughing and couldn't stop for a few minutes.

One day when my DD was four or five, my DM and DD were coming home from shopping somewhere, I've forgotten now. Mom driving, me in the passenger seat and DD in the back, everyone nice and buckled in, like your supposed to be. We're all eating corndogs. DD from the backseat says she doesn't feel good. Mom says we'll be home in a minute. DD says okay. Next thing we know, her corndog is all down the back of mom's seat, my seat, her lap, her seat...AND the shopping bags! I never knew one corndog could cover so much area! LOL

I'm one of those people sometimes overtaken with fits of inappropriate laughter, so I feel your pain!

I blame these fits of laughter on tv. We were taught to laugh at Willie E Coyote falling, Dick Van Dyke and his tripping over a stool. And don't forget the 3 stooges.
Sometimes laughing can get you over a rough spot. Sometimes life is so crazy, that you have to laugh.