Job dilemma. Care to offer advice?

Very true. I know how to run all the equipment, but it's just
getting used to different models. Thankfully the copier jammed
the other day, so the machine and I got to know one another very
intimately. Think I've got that one figured out.

As I have to be a temp for 90 days before going perm, I just don't
know what on earth I'll be doing until then, as you have to be trained
and licensed before accessing the main program. I feel like a bump on
a log.

April 3rd. Can I live that long? Will she? ;-)

Not to be negative, but try, just try, to carve out a niche based on relationships with people that like your work. It sounds like you are being groomed as a possible non-replacement replacement. A friend of mine had a similar situation, and the issue was that the problem person had been there forever, and was not going to be "replaced" as such.

If you stay the 90 days and they want you, you could ask to be given a title that removed you from her control and made you an equal. They will understand what that means. There is just no way that they don't know what the deal is with her. Or you could ask for a meeting with all staff clarifying your role when you come on board formally. (Meaning tell the ***** that I'm allowed to use the copier in front of everyone, without telling her directly.)

This message was edited Dec 16, 2007 6:17 PM

Wuvie, have you made any friends there who can clue you in on this woman?

I think Andidandi's advice is good. Don't get dragged in. I'm sure
the rest of the folks know all about her and that you are being brought
in to replace her (or at least provide leverage if they feel they can't
do w/o her). Once you are made permenant, ask for a performance
review. If they say good things (as it sounds they will) you have a more
secure position to ask for independence from her.

Tam

Hi Elsie,

Sadly, there is no one there. The other offices are just bursting
with employees, this is just a small division which prior to November
was just two people. The boss, and herself. Now there are new
guys in the office, but they are head cheeses. Trying to talk to one
of them would be like approaching a bank president with issues about
the soda machine. It's just not their area. LOL.

So it's the head cheeses, HER, and myself.

Bwa ha ha! I was just reading complaints on the internet from others
who have horrid co-workers.


This is what one of them said:

I’m just going to do my job and try to be invisible.
Hopefully this lady will get rid of her demons before
she makes me have to unleash mine.

;-)

LOL So, is this crazy lady old enough to retire? And if it's just her and you and the head cheeses, and she talks to everybody like that, it means she talks to her bosses like that, too?! Do you deal with customers face-to-face? Probably not, because if she treated customers like that, she'd have been long gone.

Hi KY,

The boss even said the other day that he's noticed her lately
(cough, lately??) talking negatively to him. Uh. You just noticed?

Of the other two guys, one walks off obviously not happy about
her attitude and failure to cooperate, and the other, well, I don't
want to say he acts like a lap dog, but he caters to her drama,
offering a shoulder to cry on. As he's only been there a few weeks,
she's figured out he will listen to her and so it goes on all day.
She calls him from the other room "XXX, come here for a minute!"

Not 'please', not even a phone call or intercom, but yelling from office
to office. Yes, yelling.

Yes, we do deal with clients face to face, but when they walk in and
smile at me & begin a conversation, she immediately interrupts to
announce that they will need to go into her office for what they need.
The one day I took care of the client by myself (previous direction by
boss) she was fit to be tied. How dare I handle her matters? She slammed
things around for a good two hours after.

As for how long she'll stay, I have no idea. I can't tell how old she is
but can say she must be younger than she looks. Sorry, it's the truth.
I'd like to ask if she's nearing retirement, but don't want that to get back
to her, or the feathers would really hit the fan. LOL.

Tomorrow I am scheduled for a phone conference with one of the
head cheeses. Won't she be nine kinds of uptight when she learns SHE
has to answer calls. I'm actually looking forward to this and will make
certain to inform her of such in front of the boss.

Oh, how much fun it would be to say "By the way, you'll need to tend the
phones, I have a conference call."

You're right, people like that tend to look older than they really are. All those frown lines, ya know. Give her a bottle of Prozac for Christmas. LOL

I'm thinking she's more in need of an Ex Lax or two.

Sounds like she needs what my grandmother's doctor used to refer to as an "eyerectumy" to remove that *****y outlook on life!~
You GO girl---you can handle this!

Thanks, Pigeon, I'm going back tomorrow for another try.
I think it's time to start a diary about this job. LOL.

ROFL about the Ex Lax!!! Not a bad idea to start documenting her craziness, in case she ever tries to make trouble for you. But surely they all know she's off her rocker by now. Hang in there!

And yet, you are there. If there are only three other people, and they hired you, there has to be an explanation. Someone saw a need. Perhaps one of the people in the other locations identified a need for someone to deal with their communications?

Wuvie - looks like you've got a bit of a challenge, but nothing that YOU can't handle. In the long run, this will be one of those rich learning experiences that happen in life, from which you will extract lots of wisdom. However, these can be excrutiating to go through - don't forget, this situation like others, has an end.

I would love to echo the "ignore her" sentiments. This is great advice, but way easier to say than to practice on a continual basis.
You know that you need to be professional in your words & actions, to both employees & clients. Your integrity in this will reap great benefits for you, and will be glaringly apparent to anyone who has dealt with, or deals, with her.
And it is because of this very thing that I would encourage you to be "pleasantly-semi-confrontational". That is to say, when she speaks down to you, give her a friendly reminder that you are an adult & expect to be treated as such. And, that if she cannot find it within herself to be civil, to please refrain from speaking to you at all.
I would also ask her directly why it is that she feels the need to continually address you in such a negative manner - "did I offend you?", "did I do something to upset you?", and if so, request an explananation. Frankly, she owes it to you. Nothing wrong with asking as long as you ask nicely.
I don't see this as "making waves" - rather, it is a way to smooth out some of the obviously rough edges. I believe it's important to take the upper hand in this, and model proper behavior to her. You will gain the respect of those in charge, and maintain your self-respect. This is very empowering.
Think of it as a humanitarian effort to help her see herself as others see her: a fabulous example of how NOT to act...

You have exhibited thoughtfulness & obviously spent much time assessing the situation & analyzing an approach that will enable you to have a pleasant workplace environment. Remember - you are "living" with these people 40 hours a week. It's important to establish how you will/will not be treated ASAP. She acts like a spoiled child: responding with logic will often stop children in their tracks.
If she persists in this behavior, I would address this concern with the big boss, prior to going permanent. Your job performance and how you conduct yourself will be two things they will be watching. If she is trying to thwart you in learning your job, it has the potential to color their opinion of you. Therefore, be logical, reasonable & honest about your expectations of them & the workplace environment, insofar as how you are being treated.
If you do not communicate this to them, nothing will be done. If you do, and they don't try to resolve it, then you will want to decide if you're willing to "live" with this 40 hours a week.
Frankly, you are worth much more, and deserve better. They need to understand this as well.
It really doesn't matter WHY she acts this way; there is no valid excuse whatsoever for subjecting you & others to this. None - Period!
I know from your other thread, you've been job hunting for some time.
This must have been like a kick in the belly when she returned.
I'll encourage you to keep this in perspective: employer/employee relations work both ways. Give value to what YOU bring to the job. You might very well need them, but they need you as well.
Best regards, Kate

Well said Katye,

Wuvie
I think what you said about keeping a diary, is not a bad idea. you never know if it will come in handy down the road. I wish I did, I am involved in a state wide case involving the com. I work for and is very frustrating that I cant remember the last 8 years to answer half of the Qs they want. I cant go into detail as to the what the whole thing is about but it started a year ago, in another state and only has to do with the management staff. ( which is me)

After reading what all has been said, your interself will tell you what you want, "The Job" If you want it, you will get it. no matter what the ##### says
I've had my share of people that didn't think I was good enough to be where I am now, and had my ups and downs, but I made it.
And you can to. its all about confidence in yourself and your skills. Don't let to old bag of wind WIN.

Here's flower power for you.

Wuvie? I'd say you have some very good friends.

Katye is correct - When you have a break in your day, a moment between tasks, walk up to her, and say, "I'm sorry you didn't know I was coming to work here. Have I done something wrong to offend you?" Give her a chance to vent, and try to understand. If I'd been on the job for many years, and then, all of a sudden, someone else came wandering around the office, essentially doing parts of my job, I'd probably be a grouch, too. The best way to solve a conflict is to let both sides "tell their story", uninterrupted, and then have a conversation. Let her tell you how she feels, and then ask her, "What can I do to make your job easier, or to ease your conflict about my working here?"

You commented you felt the boss brushed you off, and didn't take your concerns seriously. He listened, and made hints that you could get a great permanent job out of it, which you said yourself was full of good pay & great benefits. Sure sounds like he listened to me. He's not going to walk up to her & fire her "because you two don't get along." Perhaps he's waiting to see how you handle the conflict with her.

If you and she make it the 90 days temporary, and there's terms to be discussed for you to be permanent, ask for a meeting with your supervisor, and her. Ask plain & simple in front of her "who does what", and "the limits of each of your jobs."

You have been searching for a job for a long time, we've all seen it & read your posts venting about not being able to find a job. Sounds from how you describe pay & benefits, this is a job you want. Work hard for it, both by completing your tasks, and working with someone you don't always get along with.

If it were fun all the time, we wouldn't be calling it work. "Work" isn't just getting the job done, it's working with everyone else that gets a paycheck just like you do.

Alright, which one of you threatened her within an inch of her life? LOL

Today one of the other honchos was in and she was entirely different.

I even noticed his demeanor towards her was different. She snapped, he
snapped right back and told her a few times things like "I'll help you as soon
as you calm down" and "Well, now wait a minute, we'll get it." He even came
to my defense several times and acknowledged a few things I did on my own
without any direction. Hot dog, what happened this morning before I got there?
It was good, whatever it was. Whoo hoo! Based on today's behavior by the
other guy, I'm not the only one sick of it. Things were looking up today.

Question is, will it last? Time will tell.

A.Song, of course work isn't fun all the time, but working with someone
is just that. Working WITH someone. Not against them. Her attitude about
the company hiring me is no excuse for a crochety attitude. Maybe she needs
to stop and consider why I was hired and adjust her attitude accordingly.

Of course, she was still her snotty self at times, but I was able to simply
ignore her. I found that by doing so, she shuts up quickly, but if you turn around
and look at her or acknowledge her behavior in any way, she carries on all the more.
I won't pay attention unless she pulls the emergency fire alarm. ;-)

Alas I'm feeling good today. I came home stress-free for a change. Maybe I'll
get into my jammies and be able to focus on good things today. Hot cocoa,
maybe give the dog a bath, bake brownies for all of you for listening to me
carry on.

Feelin' happy today and hopin' it will last,
KM

Hey, this sounds encouraging! Maybe they like you so much, they figured they'd better do something to keep you from fleeing like the last hundred and fifty or so did? LOL Hope it lasts, for sure, so please keep us posted!

LOL - the last 150.....!!!

well, let's see: person walks by fenced yard with dog. Dog barks "mean", person looks at dog warily and speeds up the pace. Dog thinks: barking works!
Dog repeats behavior/gets reputation as mean dog/people avoid walking by that yard = reinforcement of behavior.

Whatever she has resorted to in the past has been successful and seems pretty ingrained.
How sad that she does not realize that the end result is self-sabotage (work-load due to no other help) & misery (she can't possibly be happy with herself).

Wuvie, you might be the catalyst for change in her life. Too bad you can't charge the company for that!!!

so...one day at a time!
for you all: just a couple more months until we can play in the garden...I can hardly wait!

Told ya flower power works!!!!!
You will win, just be you, and keep what you want in focus..
Hot cocoa, after dog bath, jammies you go girl.
Relax

Tills

Wow, that was a change. I hope it continues. Sounds like you are making a difference.
Woooorahhhhh

Katye, don't wait - Wintersow. :D

Just keep trucking, Wuvie. It all works out somehow. Sounds silly to say, but it's very, very true.

-Sev

looking forward to today's report.

No Wuvie report???
Hope all is well!!!! LOL

LOL, hello ladies. Popping in quickly before I leave
this morning - checking email.

Believe it or not, she was nice again yesterday! I am
beginning to wonder if this is permanent, or if she realized
that if I didn't come back, she would stop getting Fridays off.
(grin)

Today should be a very good day, my favorite head cheese
is going to be in all day. He is such a nice man, so calm
mannered, so patient. A really nice guy.

I've had a shower, I'm ready to go more than a half hour in
advance, and I slept well. Things are lookin' up, indeed!

Many thanks, you are all the best!

KM

glad things are going better for you!!!

Yea, Wuvie! Here's hoping she does keep it up.

Wow, what a turnaround. Great.
Happy happy joy joy.

That's great Wuvie! Have a great day!

Wow, maybe they said something to her--or could be like you said, she realizes you are her reason for getting a 3-day weekend. Whatever works! Yaaay!

Another update!

Today she made a MAJOR mistake, a BIG one, and did not tell
the boss, she covered her butt. I simply sat back and acknowledged
the no-no and glanced her way so she would know that I had big
dirt on her. I won't say a word, but we'll let her squirm over it.

Had she been paying attention to her job instead of mine, she would
have been focused on doing things correctly.

She delighted in keeping me from using the copier today, thinking I
was pressed to make 70 client booklets for the big cheese. Hours
later she announced I could use the copier and glanced at the clock,
likely thinking I would now have to rush. I announced the copies don't have
to be ready until tomorrow, and her face just dropped. Drat! She missed an
opportunity to make me look bad. (evil grin across my face)

When the printing thwart failed, she loudly announced that I must have
broken the copier, what did I do to the copier, blah, blah. She said that
because I pushed the collate button, I must have screwed up the printer.
Responding from my desk (don't get up, KM, don't cater to her) I pointed
out that pushing an electronic selection, then another, would simply cancel
out the function, and since my copies came out just fine, it was nothing I
did to the printer.

Every day is getting better. I'm not being hateful, just assertive, and this
is working! Who knows, they may decide to let me go after she is done taking
all this time off. I won't be sad about it, though, a lesson learned.

Besides, I'm taking online tutorials for other programs I've never used. That
will be something warm and fuzzy for a resume update.

At any rate, I think it's time to create a blog for all my ramblings. It would be
a good idea to document this circus just in case, and I've taken up plenty of
web space with all this unloading. Thanks for listening!

:-) Happy days!

LOL, good for you! She's learning that she can't push your buttons. And yes, definitely get all the learning you can out of that place, so you can use it on your resume.

Hah - lemme know when you set up the blog. Inane as it may seem, I'm actually quite entertained by reading about this woman's shenanigans and how you handle them. :)

-Sev

Me too, I was getting attached to this tread, was great !!!!! going to miss it.

This has been WAY better than a soap!~~~

I agree, don't stop now.
I don't have tv, so this is my reality show!

better than the reality shows on tv!

You are handling this just right. She also has evidently used situations like hogging the copier successfully against someone. This one is not only nasty, she's a back stabber. Do document these little incidents for future reference and use if necessary. If she has to do any training take notes, verify everything she tells you and keep those locked up. If there's a problem because she "forgot" or " told you that" to include something critical to the job, you have a written reference handy. Tough to get "cute" with that kind of fire power.