Neighbors

Yep, I wanted smaller when we moved. But there were not many homes here that fit our needs and this one has great views so we bought it anyhow. I had planned on smaller and had a big garage sale. This one is 700 sq. feet larger! I close off the guest room so the cats can't go in and keep the door to the 4th bedroom closed. It is my yoga studio and office storage so I don't have to clean those 2 rooms as often. I would love it if it was smaller though.

Marsue, glad you said:

[quote]"Bloom where you are planted" is always a good philosophy--unfortunately, one is not always received as nicely in some neighborhoods as one might be in other areas, no matter how hard you try to "bloom". :o( [/quoted]

As I've not found the phrase to be true for me. I've lived in 3 states and am on my 10th home in 7 years. We've owned the last two and rented apts/houses/duplexes prior. I miss my old neighborhood we lived there the longest at 2 years. We just didn't have kids so it was easy to up and move to try and find where we wanted to be "forever." I've enjoyed seeing all the places!

Yes I live an enviable life I'm sure to be able to stay at home with no financial worries about that. But even so....wow....I think back to my days working and it was SO much easier. But not easier for working mothers....never a break.

Dust is that a must do thing I always say YOU CAN WRITE YOUR NAME IN IT BUT DONT DATE IT I'm way to busy to worrie about things like that I grew up in a house a fly would starve in !!!!!!!!!!!!! my house is clean but I dont stress the little stuff Ilove to be out side and I realy miss playing with my kids when they were small mud puddles and ball climbing trees I miss it all the house will be there when I get to it but the kids wont
Gloria

True, Gloria--don't sweat the small stuff. I don't fuss at DH or the grandkids when they track something in--I just clean it up after they leave-- the grandkids, that is--DH lives with me all the time--Ha!. I'm not nearly as much of a clean freak as I was in years past. However, when I do clean, I want it done MY way which is why I don't hire it done. LOL

When I was growing up we would make mud pies after a rain. We had a large vacant lot across the street from our house where all the neighborhood kids would play. Occasionally the whole neighborhood would have a picnic in the evening and all us kids would play "kick the can".
Kids don't seem to do things like that anymore. So sad. :o(

Tir_Na_Nog - We have the same situation with neighbors in Albuquerque. Just a wave, and we've been here six years. We introduced ourselves to neighbors and they were almost puzzled by it. They leave in the morning, come home in the evening and that's all you see of them. I'm told that is the typical way here. In Califoria I had real neighbors -- the kind where you would pick up each other's mail or water plants, or look after pets, or drop off a meal if they were not feeling well. I truly miss that.

June

June---me to (missing it). I wonder if there was like some group one could start. Hmm...what should it be called. Something that could go national? To get neighbors out to meet and greet?

Does your area have a 'welcoming committee' that you could join and start out fresh meeting newcomers...

June that does not sound like NM but then I have noticed it changing with all the newcomers. I think people are busier now too and maybe that accounts for it. My daughter just bought a house in Rio Rancho and all her neighbors are really friendly and they are from all over, not just NM. My neighbors here are like you mentioned since the one who was home more moved. But we do take one another cookies at Christmas and talk if we run into one another out by the road. Our homes are 90 feet from the road, so that is rare. Welcome to NM then if no one has said that to you! ; )

The Welcome Wagon organization in our state used to personally visit newcomers to a city. They would get your name from the utility companies when you signed up for electricity, water, etc. They also had luncheon meetings once a month for all the newcomers. They would play cards, etc. but that really didn't help the newcomers to get acquainted with the people in their own neighborhood. It just got them acquainted with people in the community and with the various services and businesses. However, I don't know if Welcome Wagon is still in operation around here.

When we moved to Cabot a year ago, we didn't receive a personal visit from anyone but we did get lots of stuff in the mail, coupons for this and that, free city map, etc., from the City of Cabot and local businesses. For instance, one business that makes copies and has mail boxes, etc., sent me a card for 100 free copies. They would use a 'punch' and punch a hole in the card beside the number of copies you had made. It was neat and saved me money! Of course, that didn't help me meet any neighbors--LOL.

cactuspatch -- Things have changed dramatically in the six years we've lived here. In the area where we live there is now a lot of new construction, mostly townhouses in the $300,000+ range. Many retirees from out of state are moving into them and there are few children in our neighborhood. Rio Rancho is a growing area, perhaps with less costly housing, which seems to be drawing lots of young families who are bound to connect through school activities.

Fortunately I have an active business which keeps me in touch with the outside world, and also do hospice work.

Thanks for the welcome to NM! There is no Welcome Wagon type organization that I know of here.

June

Yes, Albuquerque has changed a lot in the last 15 years since our daughter has been there. I have moved several times. When we moved with out daughter it was much easier meeting people than the last few moves without her. Kids just go out and meet the neighbors! Maybe we should be more like them?

cactus I am so glad you brought that up---the friendliness of children---my daughter is one almost and she waves to everyone. We never even taughter her to wave, she just would and I cannot tell you how many times an adult won't even notice her waving to them, in the neighborhood, from her bike, at the store. Sometimes I will even say real loud, "Sorry I guess they didn't see you wave." She used to look at people like maybe they would all love her and be just as interested in her as her mom and dad, fortunately she still waves all the time but she doesn't wave as long waiting for a response.

When we are out at the park or on the bike and pass other children often they will say, "Ohhh look-there's a baby!" or say, "Hi!"

Tir~ join a mothers play group, that was my saving grace, even now that my pumpkins are older. I started when my boy pumpkin was only 3 months at the suggestion of another neighbor. We moved many times, and the first thing I do after my home is set up is to find a mothers group. Sometimes I had to try several out till I found the right one! I remember going to museums, free plays, farms, u pick berry farms, various eateries with him. The mothers groups were especially important when I had 4 pumpking under the age of 5. But I kept going, even now when they're all in school. Find one with various ior similar nterests or children near your baby's age. I even joined one for gymnastics, lead to various friendships even one with a mom who was much older than the rest of us, she and her DH adopted from China when they were in their early 60's. Talking about perspective...she was wise in her advice and so much fun!!

Wow, an older mom with wisdom---that would be ideal!

Re: older moms Yes, she does have a lot of experience under her belt but then there is sometimes the lack of energy required for keeping up with a toddler or small child. When my DGD was born,DH and I kept her for the first 7 years of her life. When I say "kept " her, I mean that , although she didn't live with us full-time, she spent most of her waking hours in our home and she did spend 2 or 3 nights a week with us. She had a set of toys and a set of clothes which stayed at our house all the time---No packing a suitcase when going back and forth. This was because her mother was in college and after she got her bachelor's degree, she went back for her master's, plus she worked part-time during those years, too. My DGD is now 14. I had a lot more energy when she was born than I do now (at age 65). If I HAD to do it again, I would, of course, but it is not something I would do voluntarily like I did before.
Nowadays, I enjoy my grandchildren when they are here, but sometimes I am glad twice that day: I'm glad when they arrive and I'm glad when they go home! LOL--that's a grandparent's perogative.

Tir~ also I learned alot of different ideas about the importance of outside play versus educational videos and tv, different discipline techniques ( some I liked..others I wouldn't use on my dog) different techniques to manage household chores and decorating to make our house a home. How kids learn to socialize and compromise, to empathize with someone different with learning or physical limitations, cultural and religiou. experiences, All cues taken from me in widely diverse Moms' groups. One of my favorite experiences.. when our Moms' group was at a large playground, my boy pumpkin who was 6, played with a little girl who had cerebral palsy and in a wheelchair, told him she "didn't know how it felt to run" my pumpkin promptly took her wheelchair and ran her in the wheelchair all over the playground. Imagine... the other moms were terrified and afraid she would fall and hurt herself..but there was tremendous relief and laughter when she shouted "Wheee! I'm running!! Mom look! ...I'm running!" Trust me there wasn't a dry eye on the playground from different Mom groups, and parents there.Without prompting, other kids started running along with them. Now that's a lifetime personal experience no child can learn from a video!!

Marsue ~ this friend did not have any children previously and was rejected for adoption because of age,in the US. She was a doctor before adopting. The joy of being with her was phenomenal, she probably had more energy than I as a much younger mom. She shared with us pearls of wisdom re: living life to the fullest. The enthusiasm and energy she had with her little girls was awesome, yet contagious. Her girls are now 11 and 12 and she's very active in their school and in the community. She doesn't look a day over 50 and she's now 70 with a brisk "pep in her step!"

This message was edited Oct 25, 2007 12:45 PM

garden6: Great story about the little girl 'running'--brought tears to my eyes, too.

and yes there are exceptions to every rule--I was just stating that, generally speaking, people in their 60's don't have as much energy as younger folk.
As for myself, I don't feel a day over, say 30, mentally, but I do have to realize that even so, my body won't do the same things it would do even 10 years ago. Too bad, because I would be a much better mother now than I was when my kids were growing up. Not that I was mean or abusive or anything like that, I just would be much wiser in how I handled certain situations. Well, hopefully, we live and learn. and Tir-- you can learn by listening to older, wiser moms and grandmoms! and taking those pearls of wisdom and adapting them to your own life and that of your little darling! LOL

Marsue~ agreeing wholeheartedly with you... just to see her sometimes I feel out of breath. I need to find out what vitamins she's taking!!!

Well, I do take vitamins and also something for good joint health. BTW, I can still bend over and touch my hands flat to the floor without bending my knees so I'm still pretty flexible--just not really energetic, especially when it comes to running after a small child! LOL

Thank-you garden, sure made my day to hear the story! :D

Tir~ You're welcome!

Marsue~ LOL!

We are combining this thread with a new one--y'all come on over and visit

here's the link:

www.davesgarden.com/community/forums/t/786197/#new