Update on being mean in grade school...

Back in spring many of us shared the bad behaviors
of our youth. My own list was compiled of three girls whom
I feel a huge apology is owed.

http://davesgarden.com/forums/t/583839/

Today I had my chance to correct one of them!

Sadly, I obtained her email address through an
internet obituary for another childhood friend. She had posted
her condolences and included an email address. I just
sent her an apology and hope, with any luck, that she
not only intercepts, but accepts and possibly replies.
Even better would be if she did not remember the incident.

Keeping my fingers crossed, clearin' the conscience, here.

KM

That is very thoughtful of you, Wuvie. I was mercilessly tormented in school by my peers, and I remember every incident and even every bully's name to this day. It would mean a lot to me if just one of them cared enough to look me up and apologize all these years later. I sometimes wonder how they turned out as adults, and what kind of people they raised their children to be. I commend you for being brave enough and caring enough to do this, and hope it turns out like you want it to. Do keep us posted!

Renee'

I was quiet like a little brown mouse was for all my yrs. but in high school i did have dentention a couple times for fighting with a big bully.. then mouse took over another 50 yrs of my life..

Wait, did you get detention for standing up to the bully? Did the bully get it, too?! grrrr....

yes both of us.. the teacher hated me anyway i was lillte mouse or wren.. lol..

Good for you for standing up to that bully, even if you did get in trouble!

Good news so far. Her sister emailed me back to say
she was re-arranging her home and would intercept the
message when she was back online. She also remembered
a fun time she and I had but I don't quite remember it, so
with good luck, Donna won't remember the incident between
us.

Keeping fingers crossed! :-)

Sounds like you could rekindle a friendship..now wouldn't that be nice after all these years...

Well she might not want to rekindle your "friendship" depending on the circumstances. I had a tormentor in jr high, and my BF worked in the school office. When I became ill, she made an announcement of my illness on the school PA, much to my embarrassment. This girl came to my house with her parents and brother ?, seems like her Dad and my step-father were friends, and she apologized to me. I have always thought it was out of pity, not remorse. While I grudgingly accepted, I didn't feel it was a sincere apology and I would never consider her a friend. LT, if you're out there, I survived and I don't hate you, but I sure as heck don't/didn't need your pity. And I hope you got the life you deserved too.

edited for anonymity

This message was edited Jul 30, 2007 8:14 PM

Hi Betty and Prairie,

No, this is not a girl with whom I would rekindle a friendship, not
to speak ill of her, we were just two completely different people back
then. I know I have grown and changed for the better, but I do not
know about her. Honestly, there is no room in my life for new relationships
or even rekindled ones unless they are via the internet. Hope that doesn't
sound rough, but it is true.

Donna may not even remember it, as everyone picked on her. Why
I chose to take part in such behavior, I'm not sure, but I am sincere in
my apology, it was not spurred by anything other than my conscience
all these years. When the opportunity came about to find her, I made
an attempt to right a wrong, or at least apologize for what I did.

Prairie, how long ago was this?

KM

More than 30 years ago. We were kids, and kids are cruel.

Wuvie, one can only try to make amends via an apology...at least you've made an effort to acknowledge a wrong...very brave of you to do so!

***UPDATE***

Guess what? She emailed me back!

Not only did she not remember, but she laughed
about it!

Whew, what a load off my chest! Now I have two
others to find and I'll feel much better.

:-) Karen Marie

LOL Karen Marie~You're on a roll, good luck!

I wish I only had two people to ask for forgiveness from, but then I'm pretty rotten.

You know, it is very interesting. The other two girls probably
don't even know me from the man in the moon, but I'm still going
to try to find them & apologize.

Now as far as Billy Moyer goes, I don't feel bad about picking
on him, because he and the Ransbarger twins held me down
and put a dog poo in my face. LOL.

Whew. This feels good!

Karen Marie, I am so proud of you for doing this, even if they don't remember! Every little bit of negativity we can release from our soul, lightens it. And I don't blame you a bit about the Moyer and Ransbarger brats--God totally understands, I'm sure! Eeeew, that musta been sooo horrible!

Aw, thanks, Ky.

The Rasnbarger twins and Billy...it was nasty. I don't know
why they were picking on me, either. Even back then, I had very
long hair. Girls with long hair are not ready for a fight with three
boys in the middle of the street.

Thinking back now, I wonder why no one came to my rescue? Sheesh!

I guess nobody rescued you because they were afraid to get the same treatment. I'd be curious as to how those boys turned out as adults, but don't know if I'd try to contact them...

it is amazing what bothers us....and when we make amends to those we think we really did a bad thing to.....they don't remember....;

one thing that bothered me forever was barbara ...i can't remember her last name...she was head cheerleader in junior hi....she asked to borrow my brush....i told her that i couldn't cause my parents said i couldn't....i remembered that till our 10 yr reuniion from hs.....i apologized to her.....she didn't remember

LOL Ky, let me put it this way. If it took three of them to beat
up one girl, well, you get the picture. I was thinking in terms of
neighbors and such, as we were in the middle of the street around
houses. One would expect an old lady to come after them with a
broom. ;-)

I know how they turned out as adults. The twins literally
split, one on the east coast, one on the west. As for Billy, I don't
know what became of him.

Sticks, how funny on the brush. I was, and still am, a fanatic about my
hair, brushes and combs. I could not get over how many girls in school
thought nothing of using my Carmex (ugh, I would NEVER stick my
fingers into someone else's tub of Carmex), lip gloss, hair combs and
everything else. It's a wonder there were not more germs floating around
school. Ugh! It made me feel like a priss to say no, but the truth was, I
was a germaphobe at an early age.

Ah, school. I wouldn't go back for the world.

Yeah, where are the ol' ladies with brooms when ya need 'em!? LOL I'm with you on being glad those days are over!

Amen!