1 AM and troubled.

My mom is up in years, dad is already gone as well as my brother who lived in the same town as mom and my sister and I have to make at least an 8 hour drive to see her. Its obvious that she is losing touch with reality and she refuses to move out of her house. But the long and the short of it is that there is no real choice in the matter but to move her. I have been kept in the dark by her as to what she is doing and I'm more than a little angry over it. My father was an auto mechanic with a fully out fitted garage along with a pretty fair wood working shop and an old F150 pickup. The truck she sold for $50 and with but a little work would have been a decent running vehicle. As for the shop she sold all of my fathers tools, torches, and wood working equipment for a messily $2000 so she could buy a TV. Everything combined was well worth more than $15,000. I was not told one word of this until after the deal was done.

What aggravates me the most is that mom expects me or my sister to pull up stakes where we are and move back into town with her in order cater to her wants and needs. She was actually angry that my brother up and died on her and has bad mouthed him ever since. The thing that has me the most concerned is that there is a man who lives down the street from her who has convinced her to let him give her $2000 for the house, sign over the deed and she can live there rent free until she passes away. He already has the access code to her alarm, the combination to her safe where she keeps a large sum of money and I have been hearing stories from her about transferring fair sums of money to her checking account and doing what with it I do not know.

In talking to my sister I have determined to have her drivers license pulled and get a court order to have her placed under my control, sell the house and its contents, and move her to Fort Worth. In doing all this there well be a lot of hate and discontent but as I see it there is no choice, but I also know if I do this to her I would bet that she won't survive 6 months after the deed is done for my having destroyed her world.

Rock and a hard place no two ways about it.

Don

I am so sorry to hear that Don. As parents/grandparents age they become targets for predators so for your own peace of mind, it is best to step in while there are any assets left. It sounds like your mom has been taken advantage of and as long as someone isn't looking after her best interests the scams will continue until there is nothing left.

After my grandmother died, my step-grandfather gave away most of her prized possessions to a couple of conniving women. My dad got a phone call from one of the daughters of these two women about what was going on. He was able to put a stop to it but a lot of the heirlooms were already gone (plus no telling how much money).

Don, I'm very sorry that this has fallen to you. I suggest that you call social services and the police. The guy down the street is simply going to rob her blind right before her eyes. It'll be so emotional draining for you to take over for her but it needs to be done. Then you & your sister can help her rebuild her life.

Amen to SacValley's post...I'd do it today rather than later..always someone out there looking to take advantage...prayers are with you during this difficult time..

My prayers are with you as well. ((hugs))

Don,
You don't say whether or not your Mom is in the state of Texas.. I know in Illinois there are many laws protecting the elderly, so I looked up Texas... wasn't hard to find. While I am not sure if you feel it is worth your while to track down the buyers of whatever she has sold at ridiculous prices or not... but from what I read in the few short minutes, it appears that any ridiculous sale ie $15,000. Property sold for $2000. is Illegal and the sale can be revoked.

Try checking out this website for starters, maybe they can protect your Mom until you can get things in order.

http://www.dfps.state.tx.us/everyonesbusiness/Section1.asp
.....Exploitation means "the illegal or improper act or process of a caretaker, family member, or other individual who has an ongoing relationship with the elderly or disabled person, using the resources of an elderly or disabled person for monetary or personal benefit, profit, or gain without the informed consent of the elderly or disabled person." This includes taking Social Security or SSI (Supplemental Security Income) checks, abusing a joint checking account, and taking property or other resources.
Source: Texas Human Resource Code Ch. 48.



Hard as it might be, we all must do what we have to do.... always broke my heart for the Doctor to do "hurtful" things to my babies... ie shots... set broken bones.. but I knew in my heart they were things that HAD to be done for their health and well-being.

My heart goes out to you, as this is a very hard place for you in your life... but stay strong, there are a lot of prayers out here coming your way.

Fran

Don, I am also thinking of you and praying for you and your family.

Just get involved now....later may not be soon enough!

Well another busy day and I'm just now getting here. Thanks for the responses you have definitely helped me to make up my mind on the subject. Actually I was writing to help look at the points at large and writing it in one of my blogs was not the place for such things. ( Of which there are now 9) I need to get a life!

Thanks
Don

don - call the cops then a lawyer ten social serices. you or another family member has to take control before your mom loses eerything. she probably sound the tools and the truck to the guy you mentioned. it might fall on your head and she mate hate you but its the thing to do.

get us updated.

Herbie is right - you can have those sales revoked! Get on it NOW!

Snipe, you do not have to be a victim of your mother's poor judgement (or senility). An inexpensive lawyer would be most helpful. In many parts of the country, a lawyer will allow you a 30 minute appointment at no cost to you. But, do not delay.
If you don't know a lawyer, just ask your banker for a referral. He can tell you, for sure if his referral is an honest lawyer. (Honest and lawyer don't go together too well, do they?)
Too often we find ourselves at loose ends with nowhere to turn, but that is never the case. There are plenty of good people out there, knowledgable folks, who can point you in the right direction. As mentioned earlier, there are laws that protect the elderly from scams and rip-offs. Those same laws also protect the heirs.
Just take the time, with a few phone calls, to find one of the "good people". You should not be living in a 'fog'. And you should certainly NOT be relying on a gardening forum to help your mother and yourself.
In my humble opinion, you would be wise to find GOOD legal advice (not expensive), and harden yourself to the pleas, beggings, and exhortations of your mother and sister. Allow the unvarnished advice of an uninterested and professional party to guide you.

Does your father have a will? If so, get a copy. If not, in most states when you die intestate (without a will), the living children and the children of your deceased siblings will have to split everything, including real estate. Why don't you and your sister and any other heirs get together and put your name on the pieces you want. That way if your father sees the name of one of you he will know not to sell it or give it away. Another way to dispose of household items, if their is no will, is to hold an auction and let the heirs purchase the items they want and then divide the money from the auction between the heirs.

Snipe,
I would not demean Kyjoy's advice for any reason. His advice is a legitimate concern. However, it seems that in the absence of additional info, your mother was the sole heir of your father's estate. And that is the way it should be. My DW will be the sole heir of my estate when I die. I would never, never consider otherwise.
As much as you may think otherwise, most all of us fartblossoms look only to the ladies we have forced to endure us for decades. And I am personally pleased to say that.
But to question whether or not your father had a will is of absolutely NO CONSEQUENCE, NO RELEVANCE. That is ancient history. What is important is your mother, and in no small sense, your sister.
From what you tell us, you are in a can of worms. And what I would advise you, AGAIN, AND AGAIN, AND AGAIN, is that your finest option is to simply touch base with a decent law firm. I grew up in Ft. Worth, and I know that Burleson is only 15 miles away from downtown Ft. Worth. So, I know there are some pretty good and accommodating law firms in Cowtown. It would cost you nothing to ask.

Again thanks to one and all. I did not come here looking for support or approval just to clear my head by putting it in writing. I spend so much time on blogs, forums and such that the layout of the written word has become easier for me to read and comprehend than on word from my computer. What it all really boils down to is proper handling of the subject. Charging in like a bull in the china closet could result in things not coming out the way I plan going in. And then there is the logistics to consider, time factor in disposal, mom lives in Amarillo Texas and I don,t know how well an estate auction will do there. She was born in Kansas and my sister does not live far from moms home town but I am stronger of will and very unyielding to anything once I do something than my sister is.

But once again I thank you one and all. I had some lingering doubts but those are long gone now and I appreciate all that yall have said.

Don

blmlb:
My advice was mostly for those who die intestate, without a will. In KY, for example, if you die without a will the surviving spouse inherits half of the estate, and the children, or in case a child precedes them in death, his/her children, inherit the other half to be divided equally. Of course laws differs from state to state. I believe in your case you have a will.

I am going to unwatch this thread as I believe Don has mentioned he was clearing his head and looking at his thoughts written down and would like us to "drop" the subject.
While I think this thread might be very helpful for others in this spot, I will follow your wishes Don.

Best of luck to you and may you know whatever you have to do, it will all be okay as long as it comes from your heart.

Fran

I did not mean to imply that your thoughts and comments are not welcome, hardly that. I was just letting you know why it was here in the first place. Like I said I write many blogs and chase after 3 grandkids which makes me a busy boy and to put it bluntly I would not have it any other way. After I have finished setting my 3 ring circus up I'll give you a link to my trail of blogs if you are interested.

Now I have to over active grandsons to beat senseless, "again" for getting into things that shouldn't aught so away I go again. And once more thanks to all for your help and advice.

Don :)