Grandparents Raising Grandchildren??

Are there any out there? I personally have experience with this in my own family, but, I'd like to get some other input. I'm working on my MA in Education, and in one of my classes I have been assigned the topic to bring to my classmates, "Grandparents Raising Children" the goal is to help my classmates understand what we as teachers can do to assist, or be more understanding when we have a student in our classroom whose parents are biologically the student's grandparents.

So, if any of you out there are raising your grandchildren, please, tell me what you'd like your child's teachers to understand about your situation, that teachers in general should understand. If you don't feel comfortable posting in the thread, please email me privately.

Thank you!!

Probably most children don't realize growing up that their life is much different from anyone else's. With all the media attention focused on families, children know that "family" has different meanings and that it's not the always the "mom, pop, children scenario."

Susan

Actually, they do.

They actually face a lot of abandonment issues as well as sometimes blaming themselves for the natuaral parents not wanting them, if the reason they live with grandparents is for anything other than the death of the natural parents.

Melissa, I don't personally have any experience, buy my DH's brother is raising 2 grandchildren. The parents are not capable because of drug/acholol abuse. I have observed that there are behaviorial issues, because they are feeling abandoned, hurt, not loved and act out accordingly. The oldest one has been in all kinds of trouble at school, while the younger is a compliant child and seems outwardly to take all this in stride. Surprisiingly I feel that the younger child is at more risk than the one that is acting out. I fear that he is keeping everything bottled up, and will eventually erupt.

I think teachers should be aware of these situations, and give extra attention to these children, beause they are just looking for acceptance and love from whomever may be giving it out. I don't mean to say that they should escape consequences for their behavior, but be helped to see that they make their own fate.

When they are here with DH and me, I make sure that there is structure, that any misbehavior is handled in an appropriate way, that no slack is cut because of their situation, and any rules that I have for this house are followed, or face the consequences. These kids are crying out for some structure in their lives, and we need to not cave in to "feeling sorry for them", but to give a sense of belonging, a sense of structure, and a sense of being a person who has worth.

That's my 2 cents worth.

Yep Bonnie, you gave textbook advise as to what should happen with them. Unfortunately, I know it doesn't always happen that way. My personal advice to your DH, adopt them. Adoption gives them permanence. Part of the issues they have is being afraid they will have to go back to the natural parents, even though they feel guilty for feeling that way. Adoption is permanent, and when that is in place, I bet they'd see a big difference in the kids.