While you were sleeping....

My DH does NOT like to be disturbed when he is sleeping. We have been married for 32 years now, and I still try not to awaken him after he has fallen asleep. He is not violent, - perhaps annoyingly belligerant, and certainly confused describe him better. He is a totally different person, and completely incapable of making a well thought out decision. Best to let him sleep.

Our youngest son and wife were due with their first child. Son called at about 1:30 AM to announce the impending birth, that they were on the way to the hospital. What I heard was "Ring........ ring......... ring" - DH tries to turn off the alarm; I tell him it's the phone. "What?", "Uh huh", DH hangs up. I ask him who was it, what did they want? He mutters that it was just a salesperson, and UNPLUGS the phone. So they won't call again. I ask him what kind of salesperson would call at that hour? He doesn't want to discuss it. We have a retreat at our church the next morning, and towards noon, I get a call on my cell phone, from youngest son. Our new grandson has been born. Son had tried to call several times the night before, but DH had hung up on him, and when he called back, no one answered the phone, so he gave up. When I went home, sure enough, there were two calls on our answering service. When I confronted DH about this, his reply was simply, "Well, what could we have done about it?" He does NOT like to be awakened.



This message was edited Feb 10, 2007 11:53 PM

Ho, ho, how long did he live after that?

Hap

OH MY.... missing the birth of your grandson is tragic!!!!!!! Awwwwwww!!

Ok, I'm not leaving you alone out there... I just need to think of a story... be back in the morning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ugggh,,, too much going on here right now!

A few years before, son was dating the girl that would become his wife. She lived about an hour's drive from us. Son called in the wee hours of the morning, after he had taken her home - his car had broken down and he needed a ride home. He was a few miles from her house, too far to walk, and not in a very safe area. DH told him to call the girl's father and spend the night there. He'd get him the next day, after he woke up. So her father had to get out of bed and pick him up. Son spent the night on their couch. It really was quite awkward.

And oldest son, driving home from college, broke down one cold night on the highway, about an hour away. DH was telling him to find a place to sleep until the next morning, when I threw a hissy fit. I got up and started to put on my clothes - said I would go get him by myself, he wasn't going to sleep in his car!!!! DH capitulated and picked him up. But not until a few words - and a few threats - were exchanged!!!

I have an ornery back. And when we moved to Texas, about 15 years ago, it decided to have the last word, after several days spent unpacking and preparing for out of town guests for Thanksgiving. Things were not going well Tuesday night when I prepared dinner, and in the middle of the night, as I got out of bed to head for the bathroom, my legs gave out. I grabbed the sides of the bed (one of those high beds with four posters) and used them to support my weight until I got to the other side, nearer the bathroom. Then I had to crawl the rest of the way. I was in a world of pain. Now, I realize I should have called out for help, but DH's inability to function when asleep was all I thought about. So when I completed my task, I lowered myself to the floor, pulled some towels from the rack and covered myself with them, and waited for morning. And that's where he found me. HIs first words to me were "Well, are you ready to go to the hospital now?" And that's what we did. He and MIL cooked Thanksgiving dinner, while I helped with directions from the bed.

Happy - He lived, but his life was not pleasant for awhile....not pleasant at all. ;-D
LAKelley - Exactly! I wanted to be there! I was furious! I've kept those messages on my recorder too. Grandson is now 5 years old.

He was in the oil business too, and he would get these calls in the middle of the night that would require a decision to be made. All I could think was - well, good luck with that one!

I have more, but I need to get some work done too!

ceejay: Oh my goodness! What a terrible night spent on the floor! No place for someone in pain! You are a most considerate spouse to allow HIM to enjoy his sleep!

I am quickly gaining my own sleep stories being a new mom. Looking over at dear husband...who doesn't even seem to flinch when the baby rouses for some milk. I can even wake to hear the cat meowing downstairs and at the back door! DH...nah....not a stir. LOL! I chaulk it up to "mothers intuition." Makes me feel better anyway.

I want you all to understand that he is a wonderful husband. I am very happy, and wouldn't change a thing. But, like all "perfect" people, he has a few things that keep him from obtaining the highest award! Just sharing stories. Not complaining.


Did you hear the one about the burglar alarm going off at about 4:30 AM? All he wanted was for it to just go away. So, while he went back to sleep, I turned off the alarm, and when the people from the alarm service called, I told them that I didn't know if I was OK or not.. The police officer that responded checked the house out with me...DH slept through it all. And since we found nothing, he was justified in his reaction. Or non-reaction.

Do you all see why the weather radio is a problem here? I finally broke down and told him I bought them, in case they arrived when I wasn't home. I explained SAME to him and how we could just set it for county and tornado warnings. He is annoyed about it, and said it had better not wake him up unless the tornado is 50 feet from the house! I may need to keep all three, so I have an extra when the alarm goes off and he throws it out. But hey - the tornado may get to it first!

Tir - Give him a punch in the ribs.... or something. He needs to share in those "joys" too!!! And he could be fake sleeping...a favorite trick of new fathers.

Cee jay what experiences!

I am the one with the sleep troubles in our relationship....
Dh is a very very light sleeper and I am a noisy sound asleep knocked out type.
I have also been talking and walking in my sleep since I was a small child.
Sometimes I end up sleeping in the spare room because I start talking in my sleep and Dh gets me up and directs me to the other room.
One time a few years ago I had already been banished to the spare room....then had a nightmare in which I was tring to scream and couldn't.
The truth was in real life I was screaming my bloody head off!
I woke up and saw Dh standing there in his undies with a shotgun!
He heard me screaming grabbed the gun, went to the spare room threw on the light, pointed the gun towards the screams and only saw me safe and sound alone in the bed...when he woke me up I said "Gee what's the gun for honey?"
Then he really wanted to kill somebody....me... LOL!
Good thing he's a nice guy and not trigger happy. I think that cured me tho...I haven't screamed in my sleep since lol!

Ceejay, he can't help it! I know, I'm the same way when the phone wakes me from a deep sleep. First I try to turn off the alarm clock, then I fumble the phone off the hook and speak into the wrong end. I can make no sense of what the person is trying to tell me, or I hear something other than what they are saying! I am unable to "snap" awake in the middle of my sleep cycle, and any dream I was having when the phone went off gets mixed up with reality. However, as long as I get my needed hours of sleep, I can leap out of bed totally alert when the morning alarm goes off at the proper time. Everyone has their little quirks, I guess, and no amount of punches in the ribs are going to change this!

Wow! Shellabella! That would sure cure me!!! What a story!!! LOL-urk!

I haven't sleep walked since I was a little girl. I remember I was reading Treasure Island and woke up in the pantry searching for something from the island. When my brother and I raided the pea patch one night, we tried to convince our grandmother we had been sleep walking, but it didn't work. Got our behinds whipped.

This message was edited Feb 9, 2007 7:32 PM

June - I know that punching his ribs won't work. He'd probably dream he was being attacked and I'd get a good jab right back. I was referring to the new father syndrome. Tir needs to check that out, and make sure it is not fake. You sure do sound like my DH. And you're right about waking up too. The alarm goes off, and he's up and running. Not so with me. The alarm is the ENEMY.

Exception: "The Cricket". If a cricket makes a sound anywhere within hearing distance, the search is on. And he won't sleep until he has found it. Maybe I should get a phone that chirps like a cricket.

I think the cure should have started 32 years ago.

Ceejay - My ex-husband use to have violent nightmares at times and one time I heard him "arguing" in his sleep and thrashing around. I jumped outta bed (don't remember why) and just after I did, he punched my pillow!!!! That happened one more time in our married life and both times, I instinctively knew to get outta bed LOL!

Another sleep story is one night I had fallen asleep in my recliner watching tv in the living room. I was a single mom at the time so I was "the" protector in the house LOL. My youngest child had one of those BIG balls... the ones as big as the kids... they are in the huge wire bins at Walmart and such. Well, I woke up to a loud bang, rolled right out of my recliner (off to the side), hit the floor hiding behind the chair, peering out to see what woke me up. The ball popped!!!!!!!!!!! I have no clue what happened but it sure was loud and scared the you know what outta me!!

Ok,,, gotta think of more!!!!!!!!! Keep 'em coming!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have another one that happened when I was about 10. As I said I started sleep walking at an early age. I had a new friend and she invited me to spend the night. I hadn't sleep walked to my knowledge for a good while so it didn't occur to me that my sleepy forays into the night would be a problem.
She was part of a large Greek Family. The Aunt and Uncle and male highschool aged cousin lived with her immediate family. They had a large house with alot of rooms. I must have gotten up during the night to find the bathroom. I tried to get back in bed with her cousin....he redirected me down the hall. I stopped into the Aunt and Uncles room...tried that bed....they sent me on my way..... and l ended up in her parents room and tried to crawl in bed with them. Her Mom realized I was asleep and woke me up. She took me back to where I belonged.
I was so embarrassed! The next morning at breakfast the whole family was quite amused and told me the whole story.
It was a very long time before I spent the night with another friend again!

ROFL Shellabella!!!!!!!

I learned years and years ago that if I want to have the phone answered in the middle of the night and not grumbled at and hung up by Bob in his sleep that I would have to keep it on my side of the bed and answer it myself. How I learned is the hard part...he hung up on the hospital calling to say my son was in the emergency room and they needed my permission to operate right away! Fortunately they realized he was still asleep and called right back giving me a chance to get to the phone before he did it again.

His worded response when told what he had done..."Tell him to get sick during daylight hours next time! " But it was written all over him that he was afraid of what could have happened. He moved the phone that morning and has never looked back.

Zanymuse! That is exactly what my DH would have done. Right down to his remark!
Shellabella - That would be embarrassing. Poor little thing, just wanted to go to bed.....LOL
LAKelley - My DH has never been violent. That is scary about your ex. Glad he's EX!

Some time ago - different house - we had a dining room that you could enter by one side only. To keep the furbabies out, we placed a siren device against one wall of the opening, and the reflector against the other wall. If anything broke the beam by walking into the dining room, it would go off. So we are sound asleep one night and it goes off. I realize that all furbabies are present and accounted for - either on the bed or on the floor. Something else has set off that alarm. I try to get DH fully awake, but you know the story by now. I was scared out of my wits, but I grabbed a baseball bat out of the closet, and crept down the hallway. Made it alive to the dining room - and nothing. Nada. Zip. So I turned the thing off, and then realized I had to search the whole house. Still nada. To this day I don't know why it went off. Perhaps a spider or bug crawled across the beam? DH boxed it up and it never was used again.

These stories are funny... I have a sorta funny one, when my boy pumpkin was 3, my DM bought him an inflatable, radio controlled robot. It was about 4 feet tall on a motorized base. One late night while my DH was away on a business trip, I hear this bump, bump, ohmmm...bump, bump, bump ommmhmm, I awakened frozen with fear, then I saw this 4 foot tall short man racing down the hall...I thought of my boy pumpkin asleep in his room. Well..the mommy supersized zone kicked in and I rapidly sprang into action! The next thing I knew...my son turned on his bedroom light and I had beated the robot to a pulp with a baseball bat, grey plastic splintered all over the room... grey inflatablle material raining down from the ceiling and the robot beaten to smithereens!! The pumpkin took one long look at me in disbelief...then wailed to the top of his lungs "Mommy, why did you kill my robot!"...I later discovered the Radio Shack recalled the robots as they were easily activated by garage door openers even when the robot was turned off..NO, I did not replaced the robot!

This message was edited Feb 10, 2007 8:15 PM

ROTFLMBO!!!!!!!!!

This is a great thread ceejay! I've had many laughs reading through it.

garden6, I feel for you. I know that frightful feeling too.

I was also a single mother and when my son was 3 years old, his aunt gave him this stuffed monkey that played the macarena (don't know if that's spelled right?), it would only play when there was motion in front of it. One Sunday night I had problems getting to sleep, and even if I managed to fall asleep for a short time I would have nightmares and wake up scared. That particular night my son was sleeping with me, and sometime around 4am that stupid monkey that was in his room started playing. I swear, I really don't think I've ever been so scared in my life. It seemed that I was frozen with fear for minutes on end. I can't tell you how long I laid there listening to that stupid monkey and being way too scared to even get out of bed. Finally I got up the nerve to go through the house and when I got to his room I ripped the batteries out of that monkey! The next day I stuck it in the top of his closet...and to this day, I really don't care if he missed it or not!

Great stories.

i guess i'm a little differentwhen it comes to being woken up. because i get up early i usually go to sleep by 10 p.m. at times my dw plays poker on the computer until 12 or 1 a.m. i usually sleep on her side of the bed so its warm when she gets in it. she wakes me up and then puts on the t.v. or wtches a dvd and it does not bother me. i go right back to sleep after i slide over to my side. i usually need about 4 hours sleep a night and i am in good shape. i guess you can say that i am a morning person. LOL

Yes Brinda~ I can relate!!! ;0)

Herbie.....You are a sweetheart!

Yeah, herbie, no kidding.

There is no such guy as Herbie. He's a figment of some
poor lonely woman's imagination. Darn, but she's good. :o)

Well, my husband was never cranky when the phone rang.
Just the opposite. He would literally jump out of bed to answer
the darned thing. I would turn the ringer off in the bedroom
because I'm a cranky sleeper, so he would jump and run to
answer it, and he always set TWO alarm clocks. The trains
have to be on time, you know. :o)

You could wake him up from a sound sleep and he wouldn't
bat an eye lash about it. But you had to be at a safe distance
to do it. The man had relexes unbelievable ! Ask me how I know.
I learned the very first time I tried to wake him up when he had
his back to me, and wound up with an elbow in my nose.
Oooh - I think it still hurts today !

Herbie - I just pointed out to DH how he could get even better. His response? "That really sucks!" LOL!!!!! He wants to know if you fix your DW coffee in the morning....
Really, all I can say is WOW!!!!
Yeah, Mahnot. I think we need to hear this from Herbie's DW. It just can't be true!!!

It might be true, I believe it....my Dad always made coffee in the am for my Mom even though he never drank it at all......he might have even warmed her side of the bed too.
This is a rare breed here we are talking about very rare. I got married more than once thinking each time they would magically turn into "Mr. Considerate"...LOL how foolish, young and naive I was.......Herbie...you must tell us where you guys hide out...lol!

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This message was edited Feb 12, 2007 9:03 AM

I have spent the better part of 3 decades or more trying to get anyone and everyone to understand......you do not call my house after 10pm. My one and only, 33 yo son knows and accepts this. However, it does not keep him from trying to call me in the middle of the night from jail, he just simply understands that I will not answer after 10. :^)))))

In any and all relationships through the years, it is a known fact, you do not call, or rather, get an answer after 10pm. My last s/o had a daughter that would call anytime, anytime. We had the phones in a room farthest from the bedroom with the doors all closed. Ultimately we would not hear the phone and would not answer. 3 numbers 3 phones, no answers. :^))))

The next thing would be the police bringing the daughter over and banging on the front door. I check out the window, okay, my son is already in jail.....it's for you Scott...............get outa bed and take care of it.

So, the best cure is, keep the phone and TV out of the bedroom. Computer in there is okay though.....:^)))))

Molly

LOL, Molly!

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This message was edited Feb 12, 2007 9:04 AM

Good advice, Patrob. My DH makes my morning coffee (decaf) even though his is regular. And since he gets up earlier, he brings it to me while I'm showering, etc... He is also the hunter/gatherer. After many years of cooking, I no longer have the desire. I also tend to not get hungry. So DH gets the food, and I clean up. When he is not home, he'll remind me to eat. I dunno - I just get busy and forget about it. Just don't want to take the time...

I have been enjoying the contributions to "while you were sleeping"...there are some good stories out there. Keep it up - and thanks!

yep....this has been a fun thread so far, love the posts and thanks for starting it ceejay!

Oh, excuse me. I didn't realize that this was a bragging party.
I thought it was just about being awakened from a sound sleep
and the possible dire consequences thereof.

OK - so you want a brag story, huh? I'm gonna tell you about my
DH of 36 years. By the way, I think this model has been discontinued.

He loved people. He had no hobbies such as building things or
collecting stamps. He collected people. Old and young, men and
women, they all flocked to him. It wasn't because he was particularly
handsome or had money and could do favors. It was because he
consistently and thoroughly gave of himself, of his time and of his effort.
He was loyal, honest, had a wicked Irish sense of humor - with a bent
to sarcasm when applicable and when the irresistable opportunity
came his way, never turned down anyone in a bind, was never busy
when someone needed a helping hand to move or to lay sod or to
hoist a few beers, was a sucker for any living critter that the kids
dragged into the house, loved his relatives to a fault - and there were
LOTS of them, LOL, encouraged people and helped them to move up
in life. He used every connection he had, and he had many of them,
not to advance himself but to advance those he believed in. And he
didn't keep a running tab of who owed him how many favors.

You could have no better friend than he and he remembered everyone's
name. Not only their name, but who they were married to, how many
children they had, who their cousin was married to, etc. I have to laugh
here because once, before we were married, we met a friend of my
husband's and the man's wife as we were leaving a restaurant.
I was introduced and we chatted for about 5 minutes. About ten years
later, we ran into them again. I asked the woman how many children
they had. When we were by ourselves, my husband turned to me and
said, "Why did you ask her how many children they had? You asked
her that last time you saw her." LOL. That still cracks me up. Heck, she
could have had 10 more in the years in between, but all he knew is
that I wasn't listening the last time, or I would have known, ha ha ha ha ha.

If the was off to volunteer with the alumni dad's club at the high school
to run the football game on his day off, he would leave early to get the
equipment out, make sure the volunteers showed up, set up the snack
shop, etc... Many times, I would get up and find a note that went something
like this: " Dogs fed, yard picked up, coffee pot set up, kids allowance
on the TV, love you, have a good day, will call later." And by golly, he did.

I'm gonna stop now because I know you already don't believe me,
but there it is. Lots of fun, the usual heartbreaks and troubles, but I was
never bored.

When he died, my kids put together a little booklet for the funeral, without
telling me they were doing so. In it, they wrote his favorite song, favorite
poem, favorite jokes and sayings, and they each wrote something personal
of what and how they felt about my husband. Here's a sample of what one
his sons-in-law wrote:

"I have never met a man like John ......., nor do I believe I ever will.
I will remember John as a teacher, and that may surprise many of you,
but here are a few things I have learned from him, with apologies to
David Letterman:

10. The true meaning of volunteerism.
9. The very nature of a "Brother Rice ..... Dog" (crummy hot dogs :o) )
8. That God looks out for little dogs and small kids.
7. That beer and pizza should be major food groups.
6. "Connections" are 99% of the game.
5. Hard work is the best way to get what you want.
4. Family and friendship and the importance of both.
3. Don't switch between beer and liqour on the same night.
2. Treat everyone the same, and you will reap the rewards.

and the Number One thing I came away with from knowing John is:
l. Laughter - at oneself and with others.

I will miss John, and I will always cherish the times spent with him.
Love, S. "


Ralph Waldo Emerson only said it, but my husband lived it:
"The only gift is a portion of thyself."

NOW I'm really gonna stop, 'cause I KNOW you're all going "Yeah, right."
Actually, I should stop buying tickets 'cause I just realized I already
won the Lotto. :o)

Mahnot, that is one of the sweetest memorials to a spouse I can imagine. Thank you for sending me to sleep tonight with good thoughts.

herbie is just wonderful. we grew up together "down the block from each other" my mother is is god mother and my parents were best man and maid of honor for his parents. for my birthday yesterday he surprised me with this cake . i like to play texas hold em on the computer

That really was a wonderful tribute, to a wonderful man, Mahnot. And behind every good man is a good woman.

DH attended a weekly church function for men last night. And today he was reading some literature they got called Marriage: Best Practices. It advocates bringing coffee to her in bed, and warming up her side of the bed, too. I like this Men's group!!!!! LOL!! He won't let me read it - says he may want to use some of the suggestions. But not to look for a warmed up my side of the bed....

Happy belated birthday, Herbie's DW!!!!! I'm certain it was outstanding.

Ceejay, not good - just darned lucky.

Hey, they got any old widowers in that group, LOL? I'd be glad to
send my profile. Let's see: Widowed lady, 66, not too many wrinkles,
varicose veins don't show under her tasteful pants suit, not too much
flab in the upper arm, hair a lovely natural silver, youthful bifocals,
pleasantly plump, hates shopping.

Would you please have your DH include this message in their next
flyer to the group? Thanks. I'll be sure to keep an eye on the mail
for a quick response, :o)