Robin has no shame

Don't think we've tried this diet yet. Something for 2007 new years resolutions?


The Purina Diet

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my dog and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........ Duh!

I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms. Her eyes about bugged out of her head.

I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.

Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital.

I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.

Don grandfather to Chase age 10 w/cf
http://livingwithcysticfibrosiscf.blogspot.com/

Now that's a good one! People ask the darndest things.

A man and his wife were sitting in the living room and he said to her,

"Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."

His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all of his beer

Belongs to jokes I know but........
Don

magnolia lover, that is an old joke. I think he is pulling your leg.

snipe, I am making a note.....Burleson, TX.....STAY AWAY FROM. A MADMAN LIVES THERE.

I would hope that you didn't really do that to some lady, ha, ha....because she might have gone and bought some dog food, tried the diet, and then you'd hear about her on the 6 o'clock news.......if you hadn't mentioned the butt licking thing you might have been convincing.

I know I don't want to run into you in Walmart, Target, Kmart, any of them.........

I was reading something else you wrote on another thread today and thinking, hmmm...this guy should write these stories into a book. You certainly do have colorful writings!!! LOL

:) Kathy

Actually my wife Robin sent this to me in an email. As for OMG! The Tiger!!!!!! that really happened and I could have killed my son for it. LOL

Don

I am sure that terrified you with your son and the tiger. phew.

Okay so there is a madman and his wife, Robin living in Burleson, Tx. ha, ha

Terrified hardly covers that day, took the better part of two for my heart to stop pounding. It also just goes to show how unpredictable a child can be. Since then I kept a closer eye and hand on my kids.

Don

I have to tell you Don I'm happy to hear that, because most men think we women are worry warts. My favorite saying when the kids were growing up: Every action has a reaction!