Wonderful Husband / Spouse Stories

I went in on Friday morning for knee surgery just something minor a small tear. Got the bad news lots of arthritis in the knee. They cleaned it up but guess I will be going down the path to knee replacement in the future. Lots of steps before we get there. I’m pretty active so this is not a good diagnosis. Guess it wouldn’t be for anyone active or not and you gardeners know how bad knees can be. Spent most of Friday sleeping. Saturday my wonderful husband got up washed dishes, did laundry, cleaned house got me in and out of the shower cleaned me dressed me and carried and fetched for me. Then he invited my parents down for a wonderful dinner. He did an appetizer tray with cheese, crackers, olives, nuts and a crab ball. Then mushroom soup, NY strip steaks with mushrooms, baked potatoes and sugar peas. He invited 3yr grandson over for the ice cream desert so we could visit but not long enough to wear out either the Great Grandparents or me. He finished up the evening with a fire in the chimera and glass of wine out on the patio. He tucked me in to bed on the couch so I didn’t have to do the stairs and he is still sleeping on the recliner is case I need him in the night. What more could a girl want. Holly

Holly You are sooo Blessed! Take care of that knee & that Man!

Oooo, Holly .. you've pegged it sooooo well there, kiddo. .. Thank you!

So much appreciation for some positive proof and reinforcement for/of/about any of our life-mates!

Some time back .. I'd went thru about 6 + months of hospitalizations, surgeries, healing and recovery after a freakish, horrible pedestrian accident .. coupled with a doctor failing to recognize a severe & rapidly spreading infection that made for even worse damage, (what could've easily been avoidable) .. in a far longer period of time, than it should've been. The infection was caught & treated just in the nik-of-time by a vascular surgeon I'd sought - but not quick enuff to prevent the numerous surgeries required to remove the decaying and dead tissues. The initial treating drs'. malpractice, liked to have cost me the loss of a leg. The 2nd dr wasted not a moment, in an emergency transport and admital to the hospital from his office, for administering loads of the strongest IV antibiotics .. in hopes of stopping the infection in-time. Spent the next 2 1/2 months in the hospital (again) .. in hopes that new tissue would eventually begin to granulate.

That particular summer .. the ol Coot took care of me and our two youngest, which involved numerous trips to the hospital, tended the children, along with cooking, cleaning, laundry, the bills, health insurance paperwork, legal paperwork, grocery shopping, etc., and had gotten the kids supplied & back into the flow of the new school year without a hitch - when things extended far longer than they should've. All the while managing a full time job, and in addition to all of the other chores, maintenance, and responsibilities of his everyday home and family life. He took whatever vacation days he was entitled to, and a wee bit of emergency leave. Chaffeured, aided, and accompanied me on numerous doctor visits, surgical procedures, etc. He never missed a beat. He'd hold, hug and assure me .. that I would be okay, and that my body will heal and that our lives will eventually return to some normalcy. He's been there for me, thru this and much more .. but more importantly; he's still here for me. And neither of us have any other plans that deviate from the intended goals of which we willingly subscribed to and faithfully commmited to before God Almighty.

Simply some true-blue nurturing love, dedication and blessings, Holly. Yes ma'am; taint nuthin' better ...
(Wellllll, 'ceptin for the special loan of our children, then the gifts of our grandchildren, then these xtra special lil great-grands, of course!) .. heehee .. But, I still can't think of another single soul of which I'd rather share these spectacular benefits and the 'not so wonderful times' with - than my ol Coot.

Makes ya wanta squeeze the ol confounded codgers, sooooo very hideously lovingly tight, at every given opportunity .. and then some! Ahhh, seems shamefully wonderful .. to be filled jes plum full of such blessings ...

((huggs))

- Magpye

(Edited; for what wuz obvious reasons)! And prob'ly more exist .. LOL ..

This message was edited Nov 27, 2006 10:39 AM

Now That's what I call Passion!

To ALL THE GOOD GUYS!

Music2keep
Oh, I do try to take care of him too. I know that I have a very special Man.
When Mom and Dad where down on Sat I was showing them the pictures from the, Show us your fall colors thread. They loved the pictures you sent especially the ones of Bluefield.
http://davesgarden.com/forums/t/661498/
Maypye,
Sounds like you got one of those men with “The Right Stuff” Sometimes it is almost worth going thru the hard times in life when you see the people you love step up and you get to see what is really in them. Sounds like yours was a very hard time but you will forever have the picture of that “Old Coot” standing beside you and loving, caring and protecting his own. Many women have never had a chance to see that. You are blessed. Holly

This is to all the men who are just SPECIAL because they are married to us. We make them feel loved, honored and greatly appreciated, even when we are not ill or hurting. Love abounds and abides when we care. Get well quickly Holly. Elaine

Holly, I'm glad you (& family) liked the pix...Every time I take pix of my surroundings I think I should be involved in state tourism...!

But Back To Special Guys!....I've got one of those, too! He's asleep in the recliner at the moment. He works 40 hours a week + stuff around the house. I got a permenant layoff last May (2005) after 20 years of service... had the opportunity to go back to school & am getting a degree in Aquaculture. I have been taking 16 hours this semester & a practicum (31 hours a week). He has washed clothes, cleaned house, etc. While I sit on my butt studying...(& working) It's hard after 35 years of not being in school. I had forgotten how to study ~ let alone everything has changed! But he takes really good care of me..He stops on the way home from work & shops for supper! So good to me...Gotta Love Him! :-D

Joey

Oh yeah Joey, one who will go get take out food is high on my list too. And one who has made my morning cup of coffee each morning for about 14 years now.

I have suffered with a chronic health issue for about 21 years and have had many occasions for this man to say enough is enough. He has been beside me each time that I had anything medical come up. Just knowing that he is there for me makes any ordeal easier to handle.

I went through two unsuccessful marriages before finding this "charm." I asked a counselor that I was working with back in the early 1990's what did she attribute good relationships to. I had two that I thought were love, but looking back realilze that they were actually closer to a hate relationship. So sad. Anyway, my counselor said that RESPECT, was first and foremost.

I thought about my two exes. I realized that I couldn't really say that I had ever respected either of those men. It was obvious that they had no respect for me either by their abusive ways. I was then dating number three and looked at the situation. I found out that I did respect this man. His behavior towards me showed me that he respected me too. Phew!!!! Finally.

I feel very blessed to have this man in my life. He has brought me much joy. I hope that we have many more years together.

Ruby

This is cracking me up ! There are lots of views, but
hardly any postings. It's just like the news, isn't it ?
News, by its very nature, is bad. Nobody's making a
living out there reporting only good news.

OK - I'm gonna operate on the principal that this must also
apply to good husbands. They are so common out there
that it is not even worth commenting on. At least I hope so. :o)

I think you might be right. I haven't looked at this thread for a while we did get a lot of views and not to many stories and I know for sure that there are a lot of good stories out there.

Ruby, Looks like you did what I did 1st husband was high school boyfriend, got married right out of school much to my parents displeasure. I knew it was a bad deal he had the markers of an abuser. But I never expected it could get so bad,so young and such hopes didn't last 2 yrs. Those abusive relationships teach you alot. I look back and realize that the relationship helped develop me into the person I am strong, independent with a sense of self worth. Looks like you came out on the right side of those relationships too. Holly

Sorry to bust your bubble, Mahnot. It has been my experience that good mates are very, very far and in between. Before meeting my current husband I was totally turned off to men. I tried every trick in the book to make this man go away and he just wouldn't. Boy, am I now ever thankful that he didn't. He passed every test that I put him through for about two years before I agreed to marry him.

I had to have some very intensice therapy in order to first, get over the abuse that I had suffered from both exes and secondly to figure out how to choose a right helpmate. I asked the therapist that I was working with at the time, what she thought was most important for good relationships. She said - RESPECT.

Don't know if I typed this here yet or not, but it bares repeating. I thought about my two failed marriages and realized that I had never really respected either of those men and their behavior towards me certainly showed they had no respect for me. John, the dear hubby gained my respect with his behaviors also. We have been together for almost 15 years, and I cannot recall him ever making me feel badly about myself. It seems that making me feel badly about myself were the exes goal in life. Men, or anyone who is abusive will try their best to bring a person down to the level where they are. If they are miserable, they want you to be miserable. If they have low self esteem, they try to destroy yours. Whatever. They do not like strong self assured women. And, oh yeah, John loves the fact that I am a strong woman, he said that is one of things that drew him to me.

Being my age, which is 51 and having had the life experiences that I have, I cannot see myself ever going back to a less than satisfactory relationship. I don't take much off of anyone, other than my two sons who I tend to give too many breaks to.

This week John has really done well by me. He has stayed near home all week and been available to help out and to catch up on some things that I needed him to do. I just skipped back up the page and I do see where I was preaching the same thing on the 17th. ha-ha Sorry folks.

Anyway, for those of us who have been lucky enough to find good mates, treat them right and hang on to them. Everyone have a good weekend.

Ruby

I would have posted sooner, had I found this thread before!

Howie is my sweetheart of sixteen years. We've been married fifteen of them come the end of February. That respect factor is definitely there between us. I especially respect him for his faithfulness to his employers and co-workers, never blowing off his work or calling off when he knows it will put someone he works with in a difficult spot. He helps my folks with their computer troubles, patient to the end (unlike me).

When we were first married and he'd smile and say "hey, how ya doing?" to people as we walked in stores, I'd assume it was someone he knew and ask who they were. Just as often as not, he'd say, "I dunno." Nobody's a stranger. He's just a good man and I love him to pieces.

P.S. I think many people really are married to wonderful people, but their own pain and bitterness prevents them from seeing it. They are so used to honing in on flaws, they've forgotten how to find the good and praise it.

I'm so glad that I found this thread. I don't know that I've ever notice the General Forum before, but I'll share that I have an absolutely wonderful husband. Having had a horrible first one, I know a good one! I was like Ruby when my husband (who was my friend at the time) wanted to date and told him to look elsewhere as I was "damaged goods with trust issues." He ignored me and was very patient. Yes, he has flaws--he leaves his dirty clothes on the floor, lights on when he leaves the room, and dishes in the sink, but on my birthday he ordered 150 different african violet leaves for me (in February and he helped me pot them!), he leaves cards under my pillow, and he keeps the kids quiet on the weekends so that I can sleep late if I want to. He's my biggest cheerleader and encouraging when times are tough, which is often with a child who has depression and anger control issues. Looking back, I am so thankful that he didn't listen to me when I gave him the "let's be friends" speech.

I agree that respect is one of the most important ingredients in a marriage and that we should ignore most flaws. Whenever I start feeling overwhelmed and start focusing on my husband's flaws, I think of my own through my husband's eyes, like the bowls of potting soil on the counter from repotting plants and the fact that he can't use the sink because it's full of pots. That usually puts it in perspective for me. :)

Hope you don't mind that I jumped in your thread.

Stephanie

Jump ahead Stephanie, That's just the kind of stories we are looking for. My husband did a great job the other week when I had my surgery but that is just a reflection of his everyday thoughtfullness. He works nights and I work days and every morning I get up to a packed lunch with little treats and notes. Holly

while sitting here reading about wonderful husbands, mine walked up to me and said "look here a moment". When I looked up, he bent down, kissed me on the lips and told me he loved me. We have been married 28 yrs. and he still surprises me with his loving ways. God blessed me with a wonderful man. Whis all the women in the world could have a wonderful, kind, loving, considerate husband like mine. Am so glad his first wife didn't want him. The man she left him for still has not married here after 30 yrs. of living together. LIZ

Liz,

What a sweet husband you have. I think more women could have husbands like ours if they didn't waste so much time on the "bad" ones. :)

Just happened on this thread and I think I have the most wonderful husband in the world. We have been married a little over 51 years and why he has stayed w/me and my faults I can't imagine. We have 5 great grown kids and 10 grandkids. All the kids still think he hung the moon. When I had each of the kidlings he took his vacation to help me at home after each birth. I have had some serious surgeries - not cancer or heart problems but serious enough that I was hospitalized for weeks at a time. He has always been there and done the best he could w/his limited talents in the kitchen.
I think, in all seriousness, we are genuinely connected to one another. I finish his sentences and he does mine. We have been together so long that it is impossible for us to imagine being away from one another. People say "you mean you LET your husband do such and such" and I respond there is no letting involved. We are not joined at the hip. "You mean your husband "LETS" you do such and such". Where do they get this LET business?
When you are committed to each other that means you will do what you can and should do. It's only natural. Neither of us thinks the other is taking advantage when I spend or he spends money, time, etc. on themselves. Neither of us minds doing something that is not normally his or her job. We compliment each other. I'm the pepper to his salt, it you know what I mean. We don't buy each other gifts. No need to. We each have everything we want and need. If we don't have it and want it, we buy it. And let the other know.
When he had serious surgery a couple of years ago, he couldn't get around after having his foot taken apart and put back together again. He wasn't so much in pain as he just couldn't get around so I got him a wheel chair so that he could do for himself and not feel like he was waiting for me to do things for him. It's little things like this where we recognize each other's need and do what we can.to accommodate the other. Never have we separated or considered divorce. We are MARRIED and that means something besides a piece of paper.
I could go on and on but you probably get what I mean.
Of course we disagree and get angry but we are smart enough to know this is just a little bump in the path.
Remember that someone a lot smarter than I said that in marriage the first 100 years are the hardest.

Ann

Ann, I loved reading about your sweetheart and your marriage. :) Howie and I are just coming up on our 15-year anniversary, but I can imagine us at 51 years.

How did you meet?

Actually, he was a blind date arranged by a mutual friend in a lonely hearts club which we all belonged to - The Bachelors and Belles club. I had told George (every guy I met was named George at that time, it seems) that I wanted a date for something or other and did he know of anyone. We (Jim -my future DDH - and I) met in Feb, '55, had a couple or so dates, broke up (Kinda) and didn't date again until April and got married on Sept 2, '55. We were in our mid-20s and I guess, ready to get married. Had to leave the club and missed our friends but found a few other things to do. :>)) Our first child was born eleven (read 11) months after we married, followed by another 2 years later, followed by another 13 months later, followed by another 3 years later followed by the last 2 years later. Would have had 6 kids but lost one 6 wks into the preg. between the 3rd and 4th child. We were so busy. Today, we are amongst our children and grands, have no debts, pay our credit card bills in full each month, actually OWN our own house and our bay house (no mortgages), no auto loans (both cars paid for) and we are rich, rich, rich because we have all the kids and their kids, and each other which money could never buy. Our kids are the ones who planned and executed our 50th anniversary celebration in '05.
Oh, the stories we could tell. We've had a rich and full life, have traveled extensively and have everything we want or need. We are in good health outside of the usual aches and pains, have our own hair still w/o much silver in it and most of our own teeth, hear and see (w/glasses) well, drive, eat out wherever we wish. We have a yard guy and a housecleaner once a week so our time is our own to enjoy.

Ann

What a full and happy life you have. Ric and I have been together for about 27/28 years. I had 3 small children when we met but that didn't scare him off. We had one more child together. 4 makes a happy and full family we now have 1 grandson and a granddaughter on the way. This year we will both be 55 and able to retire can't wait so many things we want to do. Mostly we will be doing the things we have always done but we'll have a little more time to enjoy them. We have had our ups and downs but that is how life works and the Love is always there to see us through the hard times. Holly

Anyone who is really committed and tries can usually stay together - I think? The 4 of our kids who married, divorced, 3 got remarried and are very happy now - no children from the first go-round. One has never married and intends to stay that way and the other never remarried but has children from the first. I asked the eldest why all their marriages ended so quickly and she told me that we made it look so easy that they just thought that was the way of the world. Sadly, not.
I congratulate anyone who in this day and time can manage being married, both working and having children. I had my hands full w/the kids so I didn't go outside the house to work but I had plenty to do at home. Because I was really locked into staying at home - who wants to drag kids around when you want to shop, etc. In order to get out of the house I started gardening in earnest and got out of the house, literally. I think it's all that saved my sanity. 5 kids each w/a friend or 3 and in our yard - that's a lot of kids! At that time all of us of that age stayed at home - the time of coffee klatches, etc. A lot of bridge, a lot of coffee and home parties.

Ann