Lousy email ettiquette...

Out of the blue I received an email from a person
asking a plant question. Mind you there was no
greeting, just a simple straight to the point question.
No please, no thank you, nothing.

I replied with the answer, and asked where he or she found my
contact information, as they sent the question to an email
address not associated with my business.

Instead of telling me where my email address was found, the
person piped off they did not have time for games, they
put too much work into finding the answers, and wanted results
for all the work they had put into the project.

Uh. Cough. Cough.

Excuse me? Mind you, this was no customer of mine. Just
an out of the blue person with a question about something
I happen to grow.

I'm stewing over this when I should just delete it and ignore them.
I've typed ten responses and decided to take the higher road
and just ignore them.

What is wrong with people these days?

Wuvie~ sorry to hear that, some people just can't get beyond that selfish and inconsiderate "me first" attitude. Bouquets to you for taking the high road! ( LOL, maybe the rats with 4 hooves will dine in their garden tonight!) ;0)

Good Day eh!.........I was worried from the first paragraph that I was the culprit, I can be abrupt at times, with that being said - no way does that 3rd paragraph fit me though. Whew!

Notice the lack of consideration on the roads these days? We have become a very ME! NOW! society, with no thought for anyone but ourselves. Road rage is a indicator of tolerance - these days when I do not get the thank you wave, I get kinda upset, then I remind myself that I did it because I am a considerate person not because they were.

I think at that point you just write back and say "I'm very glad I could help you.".

If you feel a little snarky, you could always reply with "You are very welcome for the free answer I gave you. As my time is not valuable, I was just sitting here waiting for someone unappreciative to ask me a question.". ROTFLOL

ohhh I LIKE that reply the best!

Must not be a regular!! We know how to be polite!!
Bonnie

Oh, Bonnie, no, I know it was no one from Dave's Garden. I have
never had the experience of negativity from one single Dave's member!

((HUGS TO ALL)

Ever notice how much more friendly and courteous Dave's members are,
than, say, oh, other boards?

;-)

Wuvie~ you are so right, even when we digress on a thread, someone will politely redirect the thread without sending lightning bolts through the "puter" ;0)

Wuvie~just ease dropping here....what kind of business do you have?
Hopefully I haven't asked before, if so sorry. I think I'm going to start copying things to my journal so I can remember.
Thanking you in advance for your response, Karen~

I do like badseeds response....maybe that's why the name badseed LOL

Somer,

You can usually find if someone has a business that you want to look into, if they have listed it.

Go to Wuvie's member page, scroll down to the section on the left that says "Wuvies" favorite website. This way if you do forget, you can go back and find it.

Molly
:^)))

LOL I wouldn't actually say that to a real or prospective customer but I think it's really rude to say something like the person above did. I think the world could stand to hear a lot more please and thank you these days rather than the "Give me what I want now. Who cares if I work for it or deserve it!" attitude. Sending an email to Wuvie, asking for the answer, hardly qualifies as work. LOL

Chuckle. Wuvie, I am sorry you got that note, but I'm also relieved to know we're not the only ones who get messages like that. At the main helpdesk, most folks are pretty friendly and courteous.

But some aren't. I had a note yesterday DEMANDING an answer to their gardening question. When I told them I didn't know the answer (I really didn't), and tried to gently explain that we can't provide free gardening advice at the helpdesk, along with the steps to register and access the forums, I got told off in no uncertain terms: in their opinion we're nothing more than a bunch of money-grubbing, egotistical, (string-of-words-I-won't-repeat) American idiots if we think anyone would pay us to get advice they should be able to get for free.

Those are the ones you sit, drumming your fingers, trying to decide: Do I reply (and risk more wrath)? Or just let it go, knowing they'll add a failure to respond to our list of sins when they dog-cuss us to anyone who will listen?

Sigh....at least it was Monday. (I figure if all the weird/bad stuff happens on Monday, the rest of the week can be smooth sailing!)

Oh my gosh, Terry, I'm so glad you mentioned that!

I'll share a story with you if you have time, and you may even
remember this.

A guy on Ebay stole my pictures. I'm talking about flat out stole them.
Cropped my logo, copyright mention, the whole nine yards and claimed
it as his own, all over Ebay! I emailed and called him. Long story short,
he was wrong, wrong, wrong and I called him on it.

When I posted a factual comment about him on Dave's Garden Watchdog,
he came back and blasted me, but lied and said I refused to help him. Huh?
What he should have typed was that I refused to tolerate his photo theft.

To abbreviate, when I requested it be removed from my record because
it was not true, my post about his company was also deleted. Better that
way, because had my post stayed about him, he would still be stewing
and come back to haunt me.

I always wonder about these people. As Terry mentioned, do I take the
risk they will twist the situation? Better to be safe than sorry. I just block
them on my email program, and try to do a little research to find out their
email handle, then block them on Ebay, too.

Bad apples, I tell ya!

So glad you said bad apples and not a bad seed. LOL

Wuvie and Terry

I guess that's where the whole stubborn, obsessive, menopausal thing kicks in for me (maybe for your emailer as well)....I would just have to know what their deal was. Then maybe regret it later.....but maybe not! lol

Wuvie, I do remember that incident. That was definitely NOT purty ;o)

Although the bad 'uns tend to stick in our craws and memory banks, I'd have to say that in the balance, we also get some positively lovely letters from folks. (In fact, I had one waiting for me this morning - a gent who was ecstatic to have found Botanary because he needed to read some plant names into an audio file and he's not a plantsman.)

And by and large, most of our messages are friendly and pleasant, and quite a lot of them of our correspondents are courteous enough to come back and say "thanks" for our help. So if I keep the off-kilter emails in context, they're but a very small fraction of an otherwise friendly world. And for that, I'm thankful!!!

Wuvie, good for you for not bothering with them further.

While we're busy stewing about those kind of people,
they are off somewhere annoying someone else.
They don't look back because they're never wrong.
It's just the rest of the world that is supersensitive and
ignorant of their true value as a human being.
Besides, their time is much too valuable to be bothered
with associating with clods like the rest of us - which is
pretty much what they told you in their reply.

Like Dr. Seuss said, "Their hearts are two sizes too small."

I have the same problem on ebay, which I buy from a lot. If someone steals my money, won't send me the item I bought, and refuses to respond to my messages, or to messages from ebay when I get them involved, I may leave negative feedback stating all of the above.

THEN I hear from them, when they post derogatory and untrue negative feedback about me in retaliation.

They can lie. That's okay. They can steal. They can cheat. They can defraud. But if I say they did, I'm the evil one who has to be raked over the coals.

When I e-mail them and ask, where are my shoes? It should be easy enough to e-mail back and say, "I sent them two weeks ago. They should be there soon. Here's the tracking information." Or "I had to go out of town on a family emergency, so everything's backed up." Or "Sorry I didn't get back to you. They went out of stock and I had to backorder more."

Takes little time. A lot less time than being vindictive and retaliatory and spreading untruths after the fact and STILL not sending me my shoes.

Ooh, bad deal. I hope you were able to resolve this issue.

I'm sorry this happened to you.

:-(

Nope. Not yet. Still don't have the shoes. I will say that my dealings on ebay have been almost overwhelmingly positive. I buy from there a lot.

But these occasional ones who think rules and courtesy and honesty just don't apply to them really chap my hide!

I'm sitting here now waiting for a book from half.com. I think I bought it on the 18th of October and it was said to be shipped on October 23rd which is tolerable. There is a note stating that shipping can take 4-8 days and sometimes up to 12 days. My delivery range was October 27th to November 8th. I went to the 'contact seller' link where it said not to write unless you had not received the merchandise. I sent an email to see when it was actually shipped. I have received no answer and no book. I'm still shaking my head that it took 5 days to put a paperback in an envelope. LOL It's only one paperback and it's coming from Maine. Geesh. This is day 18 since I ordered.

Oh, I hear your pain on the book deals. You know what really
bugs me is when someone lists it but does not have it. Then when
it sells, they scramble to find one real quick while the customer waits.

I bought a book on Ebay one time, or so I thought. My funds were
returned and the person put "Listing error" as the only excuse for my
not receiving the book. Huh? If you don't have it, don't list it!

Funny thing is, I left the person a neutral. Nothing mean, just stating
the facts. Later, I received a request to remove the neutral, a mutual
thing Ebay allows. So, thinking maybe the person was trying to mend
their ways, I checked out their entire feedback record. I was shocked.
They have a zillion neutral and negative feedback records. And my
one neutral removal was going to help that?? Wow.

I've received a negative from a lady who admitted she left it
incorrectly, but I've sent two requests for removal to no avail.

For those who want to read only the bad feedback left by or left for a
person, you may want to spend some time at this link:

http://www.toolhaus.org/cgi-bin/negs

No more sorting through page upon page of nonsense looking for what
the deal was between buyer and seller. Remember to look at the dates, too.
Be sure to click "Received by" or "Left for" as well. Those with extensive
records may take a while or come back with an error.

This is a good way to find out what kind of negative a person leaves.
I won't do business with folks who call their customers / sellers nasty names
and use the F word in their feedback, or try to cover it up with creative typing.

Karen Marie

Karen,
Thanks for that link. We have been buying and selling on eBay for years and things can get a bit tricky sometimes. I'd still recommend looking at the seller's feedback even if it's 100% positive to see what it says. We once bought from a seller and the item came with a note that flat out said that if we didn't leave them + feedback they would slam us, and it went on to say they had over 10,000 feedback and one - wasn't going to hurt them, but we should consider what it would do to our rating. Of course we copied the letter and e-mailed it to eBay and reported the whole thing and it was taken care of in time. This seller had + feedback that said things like worthless product, rip off, etc. Always check out the feedback before bidding!!

Don't be afraid to report things that don't look right, and be patient if needed. Some of the things we've seen happen! We were once contacted by the FBI over someone selling bootleged copies of Microsoft FrontPage. Now, that'll freak you out when your DH gets a letter from the FBI out of the blue! ROTFLOL!! We were included in all of that because we issued a report.

We've had checks returned in envelopes, unopened, marked "Return To Sender By Order Of Sheriff's Office, Mail Fraud Investigation." Sheesh. That was over beanie babies when they were all the rage, and there was a really cute one I just HAD to have.

One seller we had bought a pc monitor from got kicked off of eBay for bidding on his own items. It was in the middle of our transaction and we had already paid. Lovely. He quit answering his e-mails. DH got his info and called him, told him that we had family very close to him that could come and pay him a visit to pick up the monitor (which we did). Needless to say he shipped it right away. Good grief.

My only bad feedback is a nuetral someone left me over a handmade pillow. She said it had a "weird smell". LOL!! All I could think of was that the mail truck had fumes or something. I put dryer sheets in with all fabric items I ship, I have always done that so they smell nice and fresh when they arrive. Go figure.

There's more weird stories, but this is enough and these are the best ones anyway. All in all, eBay has been a good experience for us. Most folks are decent, but I tend to stay away from the folks who dominate the category I'm looking at and those who do the things that Karen listed above. I'd rather deal with someone else who is just like me...a housewife who's trying to make a few extra bucks or someone who's using eBay as an outlet to sell their goods because other ways of selling them are too expensive and too involved.

eBay can be a lot of fun. It's always a surprise! Getting mail from the FBI and stamped from a Sheriff's Office sure was a surprise! LOL

Thaks, Badseed..."If you feel a little snarky, you could always reply with "You are very welcome for the free answer I gave you. As my time is not valuable, I was just sitting here waiting for someone unappreciative to ask me a question.". ROTFLOL"
I actually laughed out loud!

It was a brief moment of complete and total honesty. I do *try* to behave. ;)

WUVIE I know this is a bit on the late side but here's a very tongue in cheek reply :)

Dear (insert name here),

Thank you for your email.

We will be more than happy to answer your question for you, however, our answering system, "Ny-Ceties 1.2.9", requires that all questions are presented in a specified format, which is as follows:

The opening formula, you have a choice of formal or informal.

The question with necessary please and thank you add-ons.

The closing formula.

Both opening and closing formulae are based upon the old standard letter writing skills.

Please be aware that the opening formula you choose requires the correct closing formula or you may receive a "SEM" (Sarcasm Error Message).

"Ny-Ceties 1.2.9" grades each individual on politeness. We answer many questions each day and this rating system helps us to prioritise all questions received. In short, the higher your politeness score the more likely we are to answer your question in a pleasant manner and without the standard fee attached (see below).

Due to the nature of your recent email, "Ny-Ceties 1.2.9" has given you a politeness score of 0. This is the lowest score currently possible for new correspondance although you may be re-graded to a "VRF" (Virtual Round File) score depending on your future contact with us. We know that some people still do not understand the "Ny-Ceties 1.2.9" system, we are also aware that many knowledge seekers are using other popular question and answering systems such as "Ungracious 3a" and "Ill Mannered++ Edition" (which took over from "Discourteous 7000" in 2005) so we would like to offer you another free chance.

Simply write your question in the accepted "Ny-Ceties 1.2.9" format as described above and we will review your email. Should this not be possible for you to acheive, those still using "Pebble Brain" or "0.5 W-I-T" may struggle somewhat, will still have their question answered for a small fee of $50.00 per question.

It's always such a pleasure to converse with fellow enthusiasts and we look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours in pecuniary anticipation,

Baa~ tooo funny! Like the polite sarcasm! ;0)

LOL...If I thought I could get away with it, I would copy
and paste that one and send it on in a heartbeat. My luck,
it would be a trick from one of those consumer reporting
places doing a story on customer service,

Ha ha ha!

Baa, that's excellent! I have to share that with others.

:-)

Very useful link. Thanks, WUVIE. I immediately checked my ratings and comments. I didn't realize I'd left so many negatives in the last 8 years, but then I forgot that I used to sell at least as much as I bought. Have to get into that balanced ratio again. :-)

One of the ebay sellers I'm having trouble getting my item from actually said on their listing (and yeah, it should have raised a flag) that if their buyers leave negative feedback, then they were going to slam them in return. Well, they never sent me my shirt, so what am I supposed to do?

If people have less than perfect feedback, I still look at it. They might have perfect feedback with one or two retaliatory slams. That still makes them okay in my book. Even in Garden Watchdog, I read the comments before I judge. One person might leave a positive feedback even though the service and product they received was poor. Another might leave a negative feedback because it took 10 days instead of 5.

I used to sell on Amazon, and one person e-mailed me and asked why it took so long for me to mail the book. I answered her honestly, telling her that I'd just started a new job, but they delayed my hiring date by one week because they hadn't gotten my computer system in time. That left me with barely enough money for busfare and nothing for anything else. As soon as I got some money, I mailed the book forthwith. She gave me a rating of "1" and said that she e-mailed me repeatedly and I refused to respond to her.

And there's really nothing I can do about her lies.

The feedback system is supposed to be there to help consumers, but sometimes it's a big joke.

My 2 cents.

Which brings to mind another feedback issue.

Understandably, some sellers are afraid of retalitory feedback.
However, when I purchase items from a seller, it bothers me when
they say feedback will be left for me only after I leave it for them.

As I consider Ebay a store, and the sellers are the shop owners,
I find it absurd that a salesperson would expect me to give thanks
before he did. Like standing in a grocery store. You just spent two
hundred bucks and don't get so much as a "Thank you." So much
for customer service. I'm often tempted to say "You're welcome."

This issue reminds me of holding the door for people. They just
walk in and past you without so much as a burp. Huh?

Certainly I could understand withholding feedback if you sensed the
person was a doozie of a customer, but flat out telling folks "You get
no thanks until I do" doesn't sit well with me.

Again, let me emphasize I can understand an occasional withholding,
but not for all of the customers. If you are a good seller, you won't have
to worry about the few bad apples who spoil the orchard. Surely customers
can figure out that one or two bad feedbacks out of a thousand good ones
counts for something.

Just wandered into this thread again, add wanted to say I do less business on eBay now that so many sellers are withholding feedback until they get positive feedback from me. As a buyer, my primary responsibility is paying promptly. I feel as though the feedback system, because of that, is not as important as it used to be.

However, buyers and sellers can contact each other for personal feedback on a transaction. And there is the rebuttal option.

Also, as has been pointed out, reading the feedback is a good thing to do.

I just found this thread and had to comment.

I've had fantastic experiences with DG members as far as answering questions, trades etc. and found all but ONE to be extremely polite and appreciative.

This particular member, who shall remain nameless, never so much as even sent me a dmail thanking me for something I sent them. He/she is a "regular poster" in many forums. After I sent the item(s) (for which I pd. the postage, as a friendly gesture...) I didn't hear anything for weeks. I finally d mailed them asking if they had received said item(s)....the reponse I got was this: "Yes I received them." No thank you....NOTHING.

I did "fume" for a day or two, but let it go...life is too short...sometimes there is just no accounting for how some people act.

Live and learn...

Jasper, I hear that one, too.

:-) And so, to begin the new year on a good note, I'm going to thank
you for that thoughtless clod who failed to do so. Think of it as my
good deed for the day.

____________________________________________________

Dear Jasper,

Thank you SO much for the wonderful _______ you've sent my way.
I am very thankful and hope to be able to grow them as well as if they
had never left your garden. I appreciate the time you took to pack and
ship these items. Thank you!

Yours truly,
The insensitive clod who failed to thank you properly.

P.S. I'm sending you a _______________ to help defray the cost
from shipping my _______________. Happy New Year!

________________________________________________________

LOL. Karen Marie

Not entirely unrelated.

Even though I'm on the Do Not Call List I still get survey requests.

I respond to the caller with "How much are you offering to pay me for my time and wisdom?"

They usually just giggle. Enough said "click".

Wuvie...ROFLMAO !!! Good One ! I feel better now !

Aguane...I know the feeling...I still get those calls, and I'm supposedly on the same do not call list. My dad used to put them on hold !!! Then he'd get a big kick out of seeing how long it took them to hang up.

Hi there,
I just wanted to make a comment on your original post, also, it may have already been said. Anyway, on the Plantsdatabase here, when you add a photo of a plant, or make comments, there is a box that says you can ask that person a question and you can click on that and send them an e-mail.

Maybe that is where these questions are coming from. It could be virtually anyone, not necessarily a Dave's member. Just wanted to throw that out there. Whoever it was should have been polite to you.

Merry Christmas

A.

Going back to the eBay thing. There is practically nowhere else but the internet and particularly eBay where there is a great expectation of feedback.

In a traditional retailers or on an individual webstore you can generally expect not to be chased about with demands for your opinion on the items and services and the retailer isn't expected to pat a buyer on the head for managing to pay. It's a transaction of goods or services for cash, not a Shakespearian play or a circus act where one may expect a round of applause. A thank you is polite, a summary of your experience is not normally required.

It's really the same on eBay, you are not required to leave feedback it's just an added feature, intended as a bonus, that has in many cases become abused. It's sad that eBay seems to have become all about the feedback, it's off putting to a large extent and just adds to a list of reasons not to bother selling or buying on there. Frankly having your good reputation potentially held to ransom every time you make a transaction as a buyer or seller is not an attractive prospect, it seems to be yet another excuse for individuals to weild some power over others.

Wuvie: A lot of people these days have no morals, no manners and no respect. My husband almost always holds the door open for people coming along in back of us. Most of them just sail right on past without a thank you, kiss my foot or anything. If I see it, I usually say "You're welcome". Then I get dirty looks. I just smile. Ticks them off even more. I would hate to think that the nice people on DG's are that type. LIZ

LC, isn't that the truth? I've said "Your'e welcome" a few times
and get the dirty look.

Seems funny that people take the time to give a dirty look for
being chastised, but not give a happy face for someone holding the door.