Goddess like trees :)))

Yes PGZ5, please do continue to show respect to X chromosomes.

Speaking of wood, that nice burly and gnarly stump of Buckthorn hasn't resprouted. I am rather surprised. I figured the best one would be sure to come back because Geppetto staked claim to it. Now the other one you staked claim to did come back so I am going to have to go drill it and give it a nice drink of happy juices.

And, as tradition would have it, "little wooden head" started telling tall tales about pizza before he got out of the potting shed. Poor PGz5 had to change her name toTriffid XX.

But all was not lost! Being of superior gender, and capable of thinking out of the box, with a small drill, a bolt, and some wheels borrowed from an old roller skate, the third limb proved to be quite useful.

Later in life, she would wonder why 'little wooden head' became infatuated with Tattoos and piercings...

Grok?!

Men are from Mars. Seriously, I have no idea what you are talking about!!

Now I must admit this thread is back on its whacky track. Thank you for the good belly laugh Patrick.

Don't drill it, just put a plastic bucket over it and seal out the light.

Guy S.

It's too big. I might be able to put a garbage can over the top of it though.

He's too tall. Guy would never fit under a garbage can.......

*snicker*

now that is funny! I just got myself a bowl of snickers ice cream!!

Alright, the three of you are ALL gonna get a whuppin' now.
The superior gender shall prevail!
Right guys?

. . . . . . guys?

Guy S.

Hmmmm, And what happened to leftwood? I quess he was just one of those 'drop the seed and go' types, like Johnie....

Your favorite martian: Fred

Leftwood, er, left.

Or rather, he made like a tree and leaved. ;-)

Catch us if you can oooo...ooo...oo...catch us if you can.......

Poor Guy. Why is everybody always picking on him.....

Guy, don't let them get to you. You'd da MAN!!!

Where is soferguy when you need a little male (sorry) comrodery and enthusiastic chestbeating. Ahhhhh Ah Ahhh Ah Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.......

Superior gender? Guy, did you say "SUPERIOR GENDER?" Perhaps everyone would like to see your best side in front of the big oak.

Ah, the voice of reason has entered the thread. Why yes liveoaklady, I think you should share that photo of his best side in front of the big oak. How appropriate of you to have mentioned that you had such a photo. Your timing is uncannily perfect.

Um Patrick, the chest beater is mysteriously absent from this thread and come to think of it... so is Rick and so is Ken. Comradery appears to be for the ladies this time around. Looks as if you'll have to brave the wall of estrogen with only Guy by your side.

Are we going to see Guy's best side or is this just Smoke and mirrors. Let me guess, its a picture of his wife....
The wall of estrogen, Hmmmmmm, does that anything look like cedar rust? Before the sun hits it, of course.
I'll be brave, but I still think its disgusting, the cedar rust, that is, HE HE HE...

You're starting to smarten up there, I see, regarding Guy's best side.

The wall of estrogen looks exactly like that.

Well, gee whiz, LOL, you'd better behave your little self and not get too rebelious -- maybe I can find a nice photo of you to post, too!
Hee-hee-hee!

Patrick, don't waver. We don't need any help from the other guys. But it would probably send these pesky little estrogen mosquitoes running away squealing in panic if Ken and Rick and Sofer and others decide to enter the fray!
Aaarrrgghhhh!

Guy S. (Apostle for the Superior Gender)

Blackmail! I'm being blackmailed. Why I never! At least my only niece is wearing a halo in that photo thanks to you. Little angel that she is. She's going to grow up just like her auntie! Look out world, she's got the credit card swiping action down pat thanks to me! And, she likes plants.

Evil, I thought you said that photo was of our love child, and that's no halo. Neither one of us could pass that gene on! Unless you consider radiation drift and fallout from the nuclear tests in Arizonia during the 1950's, our formative years.
Guy, I shall help you carry the torch and forge our path back to the sane world, where Men are Men and women know there place! Don't be fooled by this sudden dsplay of strength amongst them females. They're weak, weak, I tell you...

I sent a photo to Guy that I wanted him to edit for me so I could have one framed for me and for my niece. He added a halo over my niece's head. It's really a very special photo to me but it's got me in the picture and I think this is the photo he's talking about because I sent him another photo of me and my husband where he got creative and added horns to my husband's head (per my request) and I had that framed too. My husband thought it was pretty hysterical. They are just silly photos. I'm sure Guy's got others that he could add horns to my head or something else equally creative. Well, I better be nice now since I am being blackmailed by Mr. Wonderful.

Now Patrick dear... please forgive since I am a lowly inferior member of the other gender but it would be "women know their place!" Ha!

well as I sit here sucking down bon-bons and guzzling beer, I mean iced tea! while my big, strong He-man is busting a gut laying stone, I do feel ratha weak and a bit faint, I think I'll take the air now.

Fancy that! What a coincidence. The similarities abound. I'm watching the pretty birdies outside at the birdfeeder, sucking down granola bars, and by gosh by golly I'm guzzling diet pepsi while my husband is crunching numbers and ending up in the frying pan for the day. Sheesh, this is just so eerie that we are both lounging around doing nothing much other than relaxing. I can't wait until my husband comes home so he can drop a few grapes in my mouth. It's been an exhausting day for me. Just thinking about working around here got me all tired out. I think I am liking being the inferior gender. More grapes please?

This message was edited May 18, 2006 3:47 PM

Evil, you know that's a lie, You don't watch tv....

I return from manly hunt with brother-in-law. Seek strange creatures, but superior gender under Evil's spell. Must go far away from lair to escape influence (South Dakota). There creatures not act stupid. There bird not talk a lot.

Men, I return to find all is well here. X's in fine chicken party. Easy to round up. Must wait for right time.

no no no girls! Chocolate covered strawberries go much better with beer! My he-man has left for the day/night to go to work. I'm guzzling what's left of my beer, soaps are done, so I'm waiting for my other he-man Ralph to stop by and feed me more chocolate covered strawberries.......what one he-man don't know, don't hurt him..........

Lets face it guys, they're just a lot better at this game than we are.

Why Patrick! Shame on you! You best get your eyes examined dear. You're right! I don't watch tv and I don't drink liquor for all practical purposes either. I have no idea what you are babbling about me lying about not watching tv. Perhaps you had best read what I typed again. Ooops, time to call my husband and ask him to bring home some lush chocolate covered strawberries to drop into my mouth. I so love being fed like a little bird. Why I don't even need to lift a finger.

And Leftwood, pray tell what were you manly men hunting when you've got PGZ5 pining away awaiting every key stroke on your keyboard. You insensitive Y chromosome you! And to post that you're biding your time in an attempt to round us up as if we were a harem or something. Sheesh. Some men!

Scene III... door opens and slams behind him with a bang as Maakia confidently makes his first appearance. Unfortunately, he didn't realize the door was rigged to lock behind him. Equil smirks as terryr places the only key on a neckchain and hangs it around her neck while PGZ5 and liveoaklady....

While PGZ5 and liveoaklady wait in the dark to see which man it is that enters into this finely made trap. Maakia enters the room calling out in his loud manly he-man voice for all the Y chromosomes to come out from hiding. What he doesn't realize is that Equil, terryr, PGZ5 and liveoaklady were all just about to.......

Eat chocolate covered strawberries and mull over what the superior "Ys are doing.

Meanwhile in locked room......

Terry, alone in the room with Maakia, decides to check out what here love child, triffid XX, has been pining away for. Somewhere in the distance an old radio is playing a song from "Damn Yankee":

"What Lola wants, Lola gets! And Baby, Lola wants You"......

This message was edited May 18, 2006 5:18 PM

But Terry realizes she can't leave Maakia, she must continue to pull him into the trap the true superior X's have created. Ah, she thinks to herself, I can use the song that's playing to my advantage........so she ever so gently approaches Maakia, her gentle fingers and ever so whisper voice..........

But Maakia remembers seeing the movie version and quickly runs off realizing that the Lola is actually the ugliest woman in the world, transformed by the devil, ah, I mean Evil, to be enchanting and irresistable....

whisper voice.......... MAACKIA, YOU ARE A Y CHROMOSOME! GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD that you can never change that. We've been practicing since we were itsie bitsie darling little girls to wrap men around our fingers and we started on our Dads, practiced on our boyfriends, and have been fine tuning our skills on our husbands and sons ever since. We've come a long way baby! Needless to say, Maackie is cornered. His only hope is for....

for the him to listen to the voice in his head telling him what he's been fighting for a very long time. And suddenly the realization of his true being comes into clear focus. He ever so slowly turns around and is met by............

John Clease dressed as the waiter from Monte Python's fine dining skit, who, by chance, just happens to have 'one thin mint' left. Realizing that the "X"s have been gorging themselves all afternoon on chocolate and beverages, he offers up the mint to Terry the temptress (later to be refered to as T3) and she places the tiny mint into her mouth, thinking that he is offering her his affection, when suddenly there is a huge explosion, and......

This message was edited May 18, 2006 6:00 PM

This message was edited May 18, 2006 6:01 PM

they are both thrown to the ground, where he throws his hulky form over her frail body to protect her from the rays emanting from the ragged hole in the wall.

She writhes under him and, weakly turning, she spits in his eye and yells...

DIT DIT DIT --- We interrupt this insipid farce for an important message: The promised retribution photo was one of LOL (LiveOakLady), not of you, Evil. But thanks for reminding me that I have a few of you too! (Typical silly female, doesn't know when to keep her giggly yap shut!)

Guy S.
Aaarrrgggghhh!

and yells Thank you for saving my life!! She bats her long lashes and twirls her hair around her finger, while watching as PGZ5 and Equil both approach with cat like ease. She knows they're getting close to their ultimate plan. Off to the side, she sees liveoaklady getting into position. Terry takes this opportunity and stares into his eyes and exclaims.............