yep, Mamaj, I did followup with a message, but will send again.
You can also try my E-mail, JLJax1@msn.com, if the D-mail isn't working quite right for you.
Jeremy
What to do when a trade goes badly?
I was having trouble posting a new thread last night & this morning. Isn't it amazing how we all take this site for granted? It's extemely complex and yet rarely has any issues.
Jax--too bad you missed a famous meandering series line last year that started out as a comment on "Surprise" or "Naked Ladies " lilies....
I had one trader who didn't follow through on their part of the trade, UNTIL shortly after I posted negative feedback - suddenly I got my part!
So I changed it to positive.
Interesting, huh?
I try to work with trades instead of postage, so hey, if I sent something I had too many of, and got nothing in return, I hope someday in the future, I'll recieve a package of something I wasn't expecting at the time. I send things not expecting something in return. It makes my stress level a lot lower. So far, the DG-ers have been wonderful with their trades and exchanges. I've been ripped off more on Ebay than I've ever been on DG! Most here are very honest. I know however, as honest as I am, I forgot to send something myself! I had multiple things I was sending out, and I just plain overlooked someone....they were very nice and didn't even care, but I still felt terrible! I think mistakes can just happen, even when we try our hardest.
Patience is a virtue, but yep, there are also a few boogers out there who choose to get and not give...wish I had the magic wand to seperate the 2 groups!
:)
I think if you check out feedback on DGers, you will get a good idea on who plays fair. Momma taught me to give and not expect anything in return. God evens it all out sooner or later. Anyway, I never give anything away I can't afford to lose.
Wanda, you give the best plants, and they thrive so greatly! I'm sure one day you will get back your own plants just because people want to give you the best and those are the ones they have received and want to pass them on. They won't know that it was you who sent out the plants in the first place and maybe it is 2-3 trades on down the line. (Does that make sense?)
All that to say, I love your trades!
Thank you pins for your kind words. I don't water or baby my gardens. I figure if they can live here in my hard clay soil , winter 50 below zero winds and hot dry summer--they should do even better for you!
Well I just got stiffed again for 10.90 postage for a big box of huge to good size amaryliss bulbs I sent at the request of the person. Shipped on feb 3 and notified of the postage, keeps making excuses and says she'll send. As of today March 4 one month later I left her negative feed back
Donna, had you ever traded with this person before? Was your trade part of a post? Be sure to go to that thread and post the problem. If the trader is honest, you wiull get your $$. If the trader is a creep, you would save us trouble by warning us.
Wow, what an interesting thread! Someone up the line said 'don't do trades for postage, only for plants'. What about us newbies? I didn't have anything to trade... I was so excited when I ripped out some Coreopsis Moonbeam - just to be able to be in a trade! I offered them for postage, because I didn't know what else to do. I mailed three boxes out and felt good! Then one or two people sent checks for the postage, and one or two didn't - I didn't keep track...
Actually, Sandy (ilovejesus) actually posted that she owed money to someone in the city next to mine, and I said "I live right near there but unless someone has a garden on their roof" and she said "Oh it's you!" and I said "me what?" I realize not everyone wanders through life with such blinkers on and I can't imagine having a box worth FORTY DOLLARS but still. It is a joy when my trash turns into someone elses garden! I have to go check my feedback!
xxxxxxx, Carrie
Hello All!!
Just wanted to add my 2 cents (probably all my brain has today - LOL). I want to tell you how much I've appreciated those that have offered plants for postage. I, for one, had money orders sent out for the amount of postage (plus a "little extra) in the next day's mail. It angers me that folks would not pay you all that have been so very generous and trusting. Please don't think everyone is like that!! I guess the only way to "track" deadbeats (for lack of a more politically correct term) is by posting and leaving feedback - just like on ebay. So sad that it has to come to that type of negativity but the bottom line is if you are being kind enough to offer plants for free (literally) - take your valuable time to package them up and then get them to the post office - there should be no hesitation when the folks receive them to get out a money order to you. I had someone ask me why I didn't just put a personal check in the mail to the person. My response was, why should the other person have to wait until my check clears - as normally we're in different states. I mean come on...certainly picking up a money order while I'm in Walmart to begin with is less time consuming then the time the sender invested in packing and taking the plants to their post office. This all seems a "no-brainer" to me. So sad that a few have to ruin what is such a wonderful and inexpensive way for folks to share in something they enjoy.
Chantell
I sent out over 50 packs of iris last summer one week--3 colors/6 roots to a package, all named varities. It cost me almost $200 in postage. I am happy to say that only ONE person did not send back postage costs.
I have come to the conclusion that if you want something for postage and I don't know you or know OF you you should mail the postage first.As for the dead beats just remember a higher power than me is keeping track of your actions. Karma always wins.
that was the problem. I didn't who she used to be or I would have never made the offer. I just saw the post where the person had moved from Arizona and couldn't bring her plants. I didn't know she had changed her name. I just wnated to share as so many of you have done for me with the total loss of everything I owned in Hurricane Katrina. There were amaryliss everywhere here in the yard at home we bought. I sent boxes full to all I could that helped me and kept some for myself. More are still popping up so I had more and saw the persons post. If I had known who it was I wouldn't have sent them without postage since our 1 and only other dealing(also plants for postage) she bounced the 4 dollar check NSF. She was miffed because the arrived dead because her state has quarenteen laws and she didn't tell me. Well they held them for a week. I always put Fragile, Perishable, Rush, Live Plants on the boxes. Seems the PO does sometimes take better care when you do. I package very well as any of you that have recieved plants from me know. She did pay my bank charges and the 4 dollars later. I shouldn't have to wait a month to get return postage.
Eclipse - well said...agree
Donna - shame it has to come to that! As I said...I send money orders...seems to me the "right" thing to do - only runs .25 for goodness sake (much less then what it would cost to buy the plants outright, I may add). I'm apalled by your dealings with that one individual - there are no excuses for that type of behavior. Mistakes happen...we're human BUT you make it right ASAP NOT a month later! For her to be "miffed" with you - there simply aren't words for that...except possibly Borderline Personality Disorder.
Where do you look up another member's feedback? I just now was looking around and I couldn't find any feedback except what I have left for other people.
Diane
If you click on the person's name, the bottom two links under Actions tell what feedback that person left as well as the feedback that others gave that person. It may be that there just isn't any.
Or maybe we forgot to leave it....
When we were having trouble with another member (humblebumble + 4 aliases) a couple years ago, we went to her identity and started checking out all her threads. Her lies became quickly apparent. I don't mind the loss of the 15 named daylilies I sent her. I DO mind that she sent me ditch lilies in return with fake name tags! (They are blooming happily in my brother's ditch and multiplying like mad.)
Wanda,
Where do you suppose she is now? Think she has any ditch lilies? I have a swale by the dirt road out front that could use something other than stickers and thistles. Ditch lilies might just be the ticket!!!, no care low care etc.
:^))))))))))))))))))))
Molly
Honey, once you have ditchlilies, you ALWAYS have ditchlilies!
I love trading or just giving my plants away. If you want ditchlilies, I have some for you. I think people like humblebumble are out there and thriving like coyotes on the edge of a deer herd. I couldn't live like that myself. Life is too short to spend it stealing and lying to get what you want.
My Momma always says that if you do GOOD , it comes back 3 times. I can certainly testify to that. But if you do BAD, it comes back 3 times too. I don't know about you, but I don't NEED that much BAD in my life!
My blood starts boiling when I think about the one who was on here a couple of years ago trying to trade really new and expensive daylily introductions for rare tropical bulbs and whatnot. This person was also selling dozens of these same named daylililes on ebay, and they were such new introductions that I KNEW that he/she DIDN'T HAVE these daylilies in the quantities that they were being sold and traded.
When a couple of us called her on it, he/she signed up for Dave's and went into offensive overdrive claiming that we were just jealous and trying to ruin her ebay business, her daylilies were guaranteed to bloom true, blah blah blah. Really nasty. He/she ended up accusing me of stalking! LOL!
People bought those expensive daylilies that he/she was selling on ebay in droves and this person raked in THOUSANDS of dollars. The next summer, when they bloomed for those who bought them, they were just any old unnamed daylilies and NOT the new introductions that they were supposed to be. There were several threads at TInkers with people in an uproar and someone here got ripped off by her and had to threaten legal action to get their money back. Luckily, her real identity and pertinent information (i.e. mailing addy and phone number) had been discovered and passed around.
Last Spring, someone tried the same thing on ebay with selling really new introductions that hadn't even been released yet, but thankfully the AHS Email robin members swung into action and had it stopped. Wanna bet it was the same person with a new alias?
What kills me the most about these people is how vehemently they protest their innocence, when they know all along they are dishonest and ripping people off. Unbelievable!!!
Wanda,
I really appreciated the 'newbie' iris pack you sent me! I do feel a little bad now reading the above that i sent you a personal check for the shipping. It never occurred to me that you might have to wait for it to clear. My apologies if i caused any inconvenience.
Thanks again for the iris!!!
Melissa
Melissa, personal checks are fine with me. Haven't had one bounce yet! And last year I depsotied a PILE of them due to my iris/daylily/whatever give aways on DG.
indashade , I appreciate the warnings you have sent me on certain members in the past. You have good instincts. Only half the iris/daylilies I bought on ebay bloomed true--some took 3 years!
On the other hand, I met two good friends to trade with thru ebay. Everything they sent me were great: zooey/Merlie out in California and morningdewgardens/Deb in Deleware.
Wanda, thanks for the heads up on who are true, great eBay sellers.
I think we all ought to remember the words of Shakespeare who said in Hamlet: "The lady doth protest too much, methinks." Its always worked for me. ;-)
Jeremy- I learned long ago not to send out anything you can't afford to lose. This includes postage. Last spring I sent out many boxes of plants for postage. I think I got 1/3 of that money back... What gets me every time is not the money or lack there of. It's my loss of time that I gave up doing this. Digging, washing off, labeling, wrapping, packing, and then trotting off to the post office. A simple thanks- got the plants would be good. Or a note saying couldn't do postage this pay day- get you next time. So I'm not doing plants for postage anymore. Time is in short supply. I do hope your able to track down your postage.
Happy gardening...
Kristi
Currently I am heading up a houseplant swap both here and on gardenweb. I found it really funny when someone from GW emailed me wanting to join the swap. I never heard back from her when I asked if she ever sent the plants from our swap in Sept. I sent mine and never received her end. I emailed 4 times to see if there was a problem with no response. I guess she didn't keep up with whom she cheated, and guess what no response back. It humored me to know that she would ask to join.
I keep a ledger of trades, and even note the ones I feel I received more on my end than sent to offer more to them in the future. I have a few trades to finish up this spring as the plants didn't make it during shipping for reason or another. I make good on trades and hope to get the same the in return. My mom always told me that you have everything if you make a good name for yourself. Same goes with usernames and ids to me.
Most here have been very good to me, sending seeds and bulbs for my vacant yard in the fall, for postage or just mailed to me. I try to return the favor to others.
Well, I am very glad to have started this thread and to have heard of your experiences. My loss of a meager amount of postage pales in comparison to some of your stories of the cheaters and dead beats with whom you have had dealings. The one trade gone slightly sour remains my one bad experience with swapping plants, so I remain an enthusiast for trading my "weeds" for yours!
I was naive enough, when starting this discussion, to think that I might be one of a very few people to have ever lost postage costs or not have a trade work out to complete satisfaction. I err on the side of being "nice" and was very hesitant to leave negative feedback. I think of you DG folk as being friendly neighbors that I talk to over the garden fence and swap plants and gardening knowledge. I was therefore reticent to make a complaint about one of my online neighbors. The reality seems to be, however, in today's world, that we all have to maintain a degree of wariness when dealing with others with whom we are not completely familiar. The Utopia of everyone playing fair and behaving nicely is still somewhere in the future. But "hope springs eternal," something we all experience with every seed we start and every bare root we stick in the ground. So I, for one, will continue to trade with glee, but I will use the feedback resource to help determine my degree of risk prior to engaging in the trade and will leave feedback for those with whom I trade so that we can continue to build a community of trust.
Jeremy
Beautifully said.
Positive beats negative any day - agree w/your sentiments, Jax
Again, MOST gardeners are generous and honest here on DG--but snakes can slip into any garden....
Skin 'em and make a clutch purse - snakeskin is very elegante, you know!
Ha ha ha! Great solution! :)
* snicker *