I'm a little upset by an email

I posted a trade offer a while back. I've since emailed the people involved in the trade to let them know I made an error when posting the Morning Glory Bush seeds. I inadvertently typed "incarnata" instead of "carnea". I was typing the botanical names and made a simple mistake. I wasn't presuming to have something I didn't, it was a mistake. I got an email from another DGer, no one involved in the trade, just a member. He accused me of "intentionally posting incorrect ID's to bolster interest in their wares......"
The words in quotation marks are his.

I want everyone to know that I did NOT intentionally post that trade incorrectly and if someone wants the seeds they sent me in trade returned I will gladly return them.
edited to correct grammar

This message was edited Jan 22, 2006 4:32 PM

Cala, I'm so sorry this happened to you, but there are one or two DG'ers that are very very uptight. I would keep on trading, forget about it and if they contact you again, let Dave know. Obviously, your doing a great thing by trading! And if anyone should return seeds, forward them on to me!! :) You can call them whatever you want and I'd be tickled pink to grow them and send you a picture :)

Happy gardening!

Susan

Calalily
I have had similar things happen to me and at first it made me want to throw my hands up and say "I am not trading no more" then I stopped and thought about all the very good traders there are here at daves, and believe me the GOOD traders outweight the BAD ones by about 95 %. So dont let your heart become to heavy worrying about the 5 % because I know you are among the GOOD traders and we need you here.

You are WANTED here and dont fall to the 5% levals that cant seem to find forgiveness in nones mistakes but there own.

We all love ya here.

Keep trading.

Vicki

Cala--how depressing! I'm sure it really didn't make your day. Its a shame that person has never made a mistake! lol

Stay with us--your such a great trader and gardener-- Dave's can't do without you!

Debbie

Dear Cala-
Shame on them! To presume that someone was intentionally misrepresenting their inventory instead of having the kindness and thoughtfulness to perhaps question if it was just a mistake says a lot about the person (Not you).

What a horrible way to go through life, assuming that everyone is trying to cheat you.

While I am sorry about this DGer treated you, I am genuinely more sorry for them.
ROX

hiya Calalily,

As far as it goes........bleepem.....lol. All you need to do is look at all of the traders that have admired your acumen all along. Unless this person was doing crosses that were guaranteeing fame and fortune and required I. incarnata for the cross.....bleepem. Life is too short.....

I for one, marvel at your trading accuracy, speed, and would trade my diamonds for your glass beads anytime knowing that down the road I'd only have glass beads to trade and there'd be diamonds in the mail from you. Don't sweat the small stuff or the small minds.

big hug,
don

so sorry Susie. What a jerk!!!!!!!!!!! You aren't selling the seeds but giving them away freely to all who want them. So what's his/her problem???

The majority if DG's are great people so just put that person on your Do Not Trade With List and the losses will be his.
(((Hugs)))

Ditto all of the above. Some people just can't get over themselves.

Aaaw, I knew you guys wouldn't be mad at me. Most people who have known me for a while know I'm a bit dingie(OK I admit it, a lot dingie sometimes). I didn't even realize I'd typed the wrong name till he said "how can you presume to know you have these?" lol. I went back and looked at the thread and sure enough, there it was! The thing is, I looked at it over and over and didn't catch it. I probably even wrote it on the envelopes! I swear, this blonde hair is not real.
My poor neighbor came over and I gave him pavonia seeds, I told him they were pereskia seeds.........big difference. I still get those two mixed up and the only thing they have in common is pink flowers. He will say "well, which one are they today?" I am hopeless!

LOL,,, thata girl !!!

Isn't it sad that some people have nothing more to do that get in hassles that don't even involve them. It's one thing for a "true collector of incarnata" (whatever that is) - to make an issue of an incorrect item. But for a nosy person to involve themself in something that they have no concern in, is yet another issue. You should privately email us so we know who the jack.... is.

Some of us have been around for a long time. I see the decline in QUALITY of DGers on a regular basis. When I stated here it was a wonderful site. You are one of the strong base DGers who have helped me, along with many, many others. Just realize that that poor, sad, hate filled person has nothing better to do than cut down good people. I think some people made a hoby of it. You should move their post to the Prayer List !

Laugh it off - Lord knows there are far more issues in this world than this that he could be complaining about - I would suggest he start with www.gov. org (or whatever)

Have a great evening and I love you Lady
Kathy

Oh, Sweetie - I am so sorry! If he knew you as I do, he would never even THINK such a thing, much less say it! Don't give it another thought - he's a jerk I AM SURE and not worth one tiny blonde hair off your mmmmmmmmmmm!!!

Susie, there's only ONE that you need to answer to, and HE certainly AIN'T emailing you, so just blow it off. YES, we DO love you!

Calalily, I second and third and fourth what everyone else has said! DG is a great place to talk and share our experiences and whatever we have to share. I never ever have confessed to be a perfect person...lol. I know I don't know the exact or true names of things but that is what Google is for!

We're here for each other!!

Hugs, Donna

This guy just doesn't know WHO you are yet....lol

Susie, you have been around for so long and have shared so many plants, information and seeds with all of us. We KNOW your not what he called you. So do exactly what drdon said above, ok?

You are well respected around here....that's for sure. :-))

Donna

Calalily, I'm so sorry. It's a shame when some people have more ego than manners.

Now a simple, "Hey, I noticed you are offering "incarnata", is this possibly a typo?" Would have allowed you to double check and not have been accusatory.

This is so upsetting.. Some people would gripe about a free meal. I am glad you posted this, just to show all the support you have. Calalily, generosity like yours is rare, you must have a heart of solid gold. I am growing your seeds and I don't care what comes up, I am going to love it no matter what it is! If he wants a guarantee of perfection, he needs to go somewhere else and PAY for it..

ZZ, he didn't get seeds, he was upset that I had the name wrong. As far as I know, I've never traded with him.

Calalily, Sorry to here this has happened to you. Some people have such miserable lives, they feel the need to make others miserable too. I'm just sorry that you were the target. I'm sure that person is not perfect. Not sure why they think everyone else sould be.
Well I say that you're a great trader. I definately would trade with you again. I appreciate your generosity to us all. Keep up the good work!

ohhh Susie. You know we love you . You have been my No 1 supporter since I came to Dave's. You do not have mean or deceitful bone in your whole body! So just shake it off.

Anyway, I want to know.............. so is incarnata so hot? I looked up morning glory incarnata and nothing came up. It sounds more like a passion flower. But what do I know?

Kell, I only found one picture while googling it. Seems to me to be a pink morning glory bush type. Some guy in Texas has the site, has hundreds of pictures. I'll have to look for the link.

I have only had a couple of "bad" experiences here and I just said a prayer for him or her, assuming they must really be unhappy about something in their life. God knows we are all here to have fun and share a passion. So just blow it off and say a prayer. You are among friends that love you and cherish you as a trader. I am sure there are some "master" gardeners here and I really love it when I learn something new, but me, sometimes I can't even remember the word "daisy" when someone asks...LOL...so let's just have fun and appreciate what God has given us to trade with one another...it is just too precious! Beauty all around us, and sometimes from other parts of the world because of forums like this one.
Have a wonderful week!
Janet

Calalily,

My thinking is, if i am trading seeds (or plants) with another gardner... It is a friendly transaction not a professional one. If someone desires something so badly that they are willing to get nasty about it, they should shell out hard earned cash for it.

When i trade, i consider my end a gift, it is nice to get the other end in return, but if not (which has only happened to me twice here) i don't mind. When i first joined here, i read someone's comment (i don't remember who's) that basically said, don't trade anything you can't spare.

I am sorry that you got such a rude note. And i am sorry for the person who sent it, he is clearly missing the point of this lovely place.

Melissa

Calilily, I have been seeing you trading for a long time on here, and it sure sounds like you have a lot of friends that think a lot of you, and it sure seems to be you are a kind, generous and thoughtful person from reading postings and threads.
Just remember good comes to those that are good and you know the rest ;-) It's not worth getting up set over it, they are not worth it.
Lea
I wouldn't trade with them again! lol (smile baby)

mornin_gayle said it the best I think. I just couldn't let this one go by me... Carol

Calalily,
I'm so sorry you received such an email, but very glad you posted this because being a newbie, if I would have received that email, I think I would have simply never come back! I'm somewhat dyslexic (as well as both my kids) and have Fibromyalgia which causes me to have short term memory loss during flareups, so I'm ALWAYS screwing up something.

Anyway, this isn't about me.... I can see from the support on this thread that you have nothing to worry about. The problem isn't yours, it's his. Life is too short to be bothered by insignificant stuff like that. Maybe he doesn't know how to handle disappointments that well.

My favorite motto is: "Life is fragile. Life is short. All that really matters is a life that matters." (unknown)

JoAnn

I agree that the person could have handled the mistake a lot less accusatory. Maybe by asking if some information could be provided on the plant, or by saying they were unaware of that paticular species, to maybe get you aware of what you had listed may have an incorrect name. But by saying that you are 'generating interest" seems like an odd choice of words on a trading forum.
If I was buying on ebay I would be more particular. but trading...No. Sometimes when people trade they are provided with an incorrect name, from the trader they recieved it from(inadvertently), but that is usually no big deal as most of us are doing this for pleasure not a money maker.
Ok just throwing my 2cents in
Chicory

Susie,

I think you are the greatest. I've always heard that someone that doesn't make mistakes doesn't do anything. So, he just needs to get a life.

Brenda

Uh oh you guys, I might be in trouble again. I have Jasmine molle, have called it that for years..........now I see it listed as jasmine auriculatum...........

well i make mistakes because of my memory so i tell everyone please do not think its on purpose , i forget lots. what did or do not do.. If someone spoke ugly with accusations i would let them alone,& if thats the way they treat someone over something like seed names they must have a lonely life.. !!yes it might scare others off..hope did not offend anyone..

blessings. Twyla

Well, we know one thing, Sis - you know your Marigolds! LOL (private joke between Susie and me!)

oh my Susie I cant believe someone said that to you and SHAME on them. We all love you!!! everyone has said all that needs to be said above.

shoot i wouldnt of knowed the diffence if you hadnt said anything. i still dont know the difference and it really doesnt matter. its a welcome addition no matter what it is!!!

its a Susie plant and thats a gift for anyones garden!!

Well - I had a similar experience and it was very upsetting. It was on another trade site (which shall remain nameless - like you don't already know), and on their post for trading they stated "Serious traders only - I have been burned so many times", blah, blah, blah - and they stated that all trades must be accompanied with a printed out email "trade agreement", and that traders must send their end of the trade first. That should have been a red flag to me, but nooooooooooo I had to trade anyway.

I packed this person's seeds, printed out the email, circled what was going to them, what they were to send to me, and included it in the package and mailed it out immediately. I also sent a generous amount of seeds (so they wouldn't think they were being "burned"). So my seeds don't arrive after awhile, so I email this person. I get a reply back a couple of days later saying that he specifically stated that a "trade agreement" email MUST accompany the seeds and that I didn't do that and that he/she is VERY busy and doesn't have time to try to figure out who sent them.....I emailed back and said I absolutely sent the "agreement" and would appreciate it if they sent my seeds. They replied that I only included a "cute" little hand written note (how demeaning is that?), and that since I did send mine first, they'd go ahead and send me the seeds.

So about two days later I receive a package from them and GUESS WHAT?? In the package is the copy of the "trade agreement" I had sent them. It just blew me away. I just couldn't see straight. You can't even imagine the attitude of this person.....

But thank goodness for the good traders - it definitely makes the few "bad ones" worth it.

Just thought I'd share my story - Callalily - you're not alone.



This message was edited Jan 25, 2006 5:35 AM

Well I think I can top that.....sadly.
My trader sent me an email that said after he'd received the seeds I'd sent, he actually got out a microscope AND actually opened up some of these seeds and was "so sorry to inform me" that none of them were viable!!!

Well, I should think not after all that! lol

I did find out later that this plant sets almost entirely sterile seeds, but it was an honest mistake on my part. His email stung worse that a fire ant!!

I just honestly think that IF they're going to be THAT finicky, they really don't belong on a trade list composed of casual, friendly types. If they just need someone to 'blame' they should deal with big firms with customer service folks who get paid to listen to their griping. lol
Oh, and this, too, was on that 'other' list.
~Bren

Oh my! A trade agreement?? I'd hate to think I had to keep up with more paperwork!
Planting_nut, I'm sorry, I'm laughing at the thought of searching thru all the seeds i got in trade with a microscope!
I had someone email me that the seeds I sent were all empty and they were returning them. They sent me someone else's seeds!

Hey I got jumped on in the tomato forum for mentioning that, that other garden site (yep--the same one Jennifer) was loaded with spyware....well it is obvious that it is....Guess we are either having a strange planet conjunction or else a solar flare storm.

Never thought I'd hear someone actually defend GW on Dave's

Susie we're on your side!

I actually got 5 "secret" emails applauding me for my warning to them!

Debbie

calalily,
I haven't done any trading w/you but I've been on the same dirty end of that stick as you. I was accussed of sending a roadside weed as a trade on that "other" gardening forum. I sent that person an email detailing where and when I purchased the original plant(from a big well known nursery)...still this person accussed me of sending her a weed so I mailed her an expensive full color picture label from plant/well known nursery but she still would not relent and refused to send her side of the trade.I do not know for sure if she was totaly convienced(sp?) I was mailing out weeds or she'd just found a new way to scam others for free plants.Kinda put me off wanting to trade plants too and I did quit for awhile but my addiction rear it's green head and I was off and running again.

In closing I ask..."you want I should muss 'um up fer ya?"~~~~$;>}+}

P

I will say something about this site I didn't realize until recently when I joined another forum site.. That site is totally unrelated to gardening though (it's motorcycles.)

After joined that other site I realized that DG is a LOT more uptight than I realized ... That's NO reflection on Dave of course but there are some that seem to feel some sort of ownership to Dave's. Hard to explain... I've been jumped on in the Pets forum and was called names on a thread myself so I know how nasty people can be. Only one person even bothered to apologize.. *sigh*

OH and guess what people that are uptight about trading... It's TRADING... If you are such a seed STICKLER go BUY them!!! Seed trading is a wonderful SERVICE we provide to each other - it is NOT an obligation!!!

Off soapbox now!! :)

Nicole

I got kicked off of the "other garden forum". I answered and defended someone who was new to a subject. 2 days later 'I'm sorry your log in password not recognized.Oh Well LOL
I got burned(I guess) on there by someone who wanted a huge amount of plants, we tried to set a time to meet and trade, she set a meet time, never showed. Almost a month later she emails me wanting her plants!? No postage was sent, no email explaining anything before this, Just "you can send my plants now I am back from France, " I told her I sent them to another trader who had been more than generous in the past . And left it at that
I have received seeds inthe past and they were not what they were supposed to be, I usually just email the person and let them know, because I want them to know what they have. I don't get upset because these things happen. No Big Deal

cala
ZHaving just experienced my first trade on DG and having it be with YOU,I must say it was a wonderful experience.I asked for something I wanted and offered you something that you said that you would like to have.It was quick, friendly and entirely what it was supposed to be.

Many people just take themselves too seriously! They are "serious gardeners" "serious collectors"etc.etc

My theory is "if you can't laugh at yourself you might as well give up"
Lets spend our time and energy on things that are really "serious" and not just inflated EGO crap.

Cala,
One woman from Austraila emailed me about spelling Japanese roof iris as tetorum, not tectorum. A slip on my part. She was quite huffy and rude in the rest of the email as well. I did list the post in the wrong place because they were all different species of iris, and I though some one might want to trade. I just gave up and closed the trade offer. Apparently, there are a number of inflexible, rude people out there just waiting to take anyone to task. I have winter sown, and some of my seeds are germinating; others are not. If some which I received in trade do not, I am not going to look up the trader and berate her. Things just happen.