Real love?

I have to admit my DH and I dont agree on alot of things, as happens in most marrieages, we see things so totaly different sometimes.
Where I am outgoing he is standoffish. I will talk to just about anyone and he rarely talks to strangers.
He has no clue as to why I love plants and DG or how I can have "friends" that Ive never met in person but love them anyway.

BUT (notice how big that is?), this man who can be quite unfeeling about some things that I feel have great importance, called me this morning from work just to tell me that the news had a freeze warning for tonight and that I might want to bring my plants in so wouldnt loose anything.

Sometimes its the little things that make me fall in love with the big galoot all over again.

It's always the little things that make the biggest difference. :)

Although my hubby rarely digs a hole and never has planted a plant, he will stay inside and clean and watch the kids so I can work outside. This is most important when it is cold or wet or when I just need a break.

He also only buys me potted plants because he knows I think cut flowers are a waste.

Yeah it is. I hope I never forget that.

Potted plants are always cool but he dosnt know what I have or not so he wont buy me something unless he thinks its realy unusual. He does try tho.

Ohhh - that's so sweet!

sigh....

Well, mine buys me both. Just the other night, he came home from work with flowers in his hand. When I asked what they were for he said ... just because. *smile* He helps around the house and will also help in the garden, although that's not his cup of tea. He knows I love my plants, though. We's a sweetie.

Thats is way cool.

Good for you, Janet!

My DH suprised me last Christmas with a gift certificate to my favorite nursery. He is always helping me in the garden and he doesn't mind weeding but also doesn't pay much attention to the plants other than he thinks it is all pretty and he can't wait till he retires so our yard can look great again. He has kept the yard going while I have been down with double knee replacement three years ago and a hip replacment this year too. He totes the hoses for me because they are too heavy for me to drag or pick up and he makes sure that my plants are watered long enough to do them good but not enough to drown them.

Yup I think I really got lucky finding this one and I will NOT put him back into the lake.
Lani

Not only the plants everytime when he get home always something have on his hand to give me when he see things on sale boy he is so spoiled me rotten. I love him so dearest like he do to me.

REDROSE, your DH sounds like mine! He's always been that way.

Its nice to be spoiled like that. One time DH brought me home some really good handmade chocolates, OMG but they were good.

I01 that good! :)

My DH spoils me at times, also. He does most of the watering for me during the summer as my legs aren't up to dragging hoses around. I have a Camellia that needs to be transplanted and it is large enough so that the two of us together (both are handicapped) can't manage so he's going to get his son to help him do it, if I don't feel that driving would be the best for me because of my legs, he's perfectly happy to drive me and he is perfectly happy to make his own meals during the week. How can I beat that? Dotti

My poor hubby. One year he bought me a dozen red roses. I bit his head off explaining that cut flowers last only a few days but potted plants can last a lifetime.

Needless to say, I never received roses again *lol*.

He is so cute. During the summer when he gets home from work we walk the gardens together and he will say things like....wow, that hibiscus looks nice today or is that a new bloom on your morning glory? I will smile and say, yes, it is and how wonderful you knew what the plant was *lol*.

To be cute when he's doing his computer thing I will say, wow, that's some megabyte you have there or aren't those some nice looking pixels *lol*.

He isn't the real romantic type but sometimes he comes out with some sayings that just stop me in my tracks. Some of my favorites:

On my birthday he said "you don't look a day over beautiful".
On our 13 year anniversary (this year) he said "I'm not me without you".
One day before work i said, have a good day, I'll miss you. He said, honey, I miss you when I blink.

We have been best friends since we were 12 and try hard to develop and supports eachothers interests although they are VERY different.

Kim

Oooh, that's so sweet. I love that one about the "blink". My DH will send me a "I love you" email out of the blue or a "hello" email during the day. We have been married 31 years and still write notes to each other. The other night he was called in to work and he said "Come on and ride with me". I went with him and played on the computer just because he wanted me there. After all, I can log on to DG anywhere ... right? It makes me feel good that he wants me around.

I know my DH loves me very dearly - he shows it just about every day. But romantic he is not!! The most romantic thing he ever did was bring me a silk rose the day he and our neighbor had to rescue my car (which had died on the freeway), fix it and bring it to me. As I had been requesting the repair even before it quit - I am still not sure whether it is an apology or not. And, after 26 years of being together he still has said "I love you" exactly twice. The first time was in church when the pastor told everyone to turn to the person next to him and say those three words. As the two of us were the only ones in the pew, he told me that. The other time was shortly after we moved here to Oregon. He had to return to Helena, MT to pick up more of our things and on the way he stopped to fill up and to call me to let me know all was going well. As we hung up I told him that I loved him and he said "I love you too, bye!" I think I howled with laughter for almost an hour! To this day, when I tell him I love him, his response is to go uh hu! If I ask him if he loves me, his answer always is NO! Gives me a chance to call him a liar and get a good laugh. Dotti

My DH is not that mushy romantic kind but the sweet thoughtful kind. I'd rather have that any day. He's not above helping clear off the table or even cook. The other week, when we were on vacation ... he was in the middle of painting, but he stopped and cleaned up and took me to get a latte. I asked him later why he did that when he was busy. He said, "because I know you like them." I thought that was so sweet it made me cry. He stopped what he was doing to do something for me because he knew it would bring me pleasure. For those of you that don't know ... I don't drive. ... Elaine

Elaine, that is so sweet. It's the sort of thing my DH would do - if he thought of it or if I requested it.LOL Dotti

I loved all your stories - makes believe that there are some good ones, although taken, out there. I haven't had much luck and my friends do nothing but complain about theirs. So it's refreshing - wishing you many more 'moments' with your partners.

I get told several times a day that he loves me and of course I reciprocate. I get lots of hugs and kisses too. He has bought me flowers a few times but most of the time I will get a rock from beside the road or a neat piece of wood that he found that day. Once he brought me and our son some really neat critters he found in a mud puddle that day. He never complains about having to go to work daily and he comes home and feeds the critters since I have a hard time walking on uneven ground still.

Yup I have a pick of the litter here with my man.

Anita they are out there. Just need to turn over more stones to find them. I know they don't grow on trees though. Good luck in your search and don't "settle" for less.

The "blink" got me too, if I heard that I think I would cry. All these great stories, keep em coming Im really enjoing this and all the stories are reminding me of other little things hes done that Ive forgotten about. Bring on the memories.

Anita, the funny thing about finding the right man is so different for everyone, some know the moment they see him, some learn that the boy next door is the one after they come back home from college, some like me find him when they stop looking and he just seems to appear.

Two years ago when I was all of 35 I got my first ever speeding ticket, this happend two weeks before my birthday. I was always really quietly proud of my driving record until that day. I called DH and told him what happend and he brought home dinner that night. My favorite rotisary chicken from "Pollo Rico". He said it was a cross between a congratulations and an aaaaawww poor baby dinner. LOL

I guess I need not tell you about my DH.

:)

I don't remember never not loving my DH. I know you'll think I'm making it up, but it was truly love at first sight for us. God has blessed me with a wonderful marriage. The one thing to remember, though, is it takes 2 people to have a good marriage and "real love". You can't have it all by yourself. We're not complete without the other. He likes to make me smile ... and I like to do things I know make him happy. I've heard people say marriage is 50/50. I think it's 100/100. That's REAL love. Because when you are having a bad day or don't feel good ... that's when you have to kick in your 100. It works good for us. *smile* You know ... like this morning ... I'm feeling a bit bum, and he's in there cooking breakfast.

Karen, yes you do, I would love to hear more about him.

Elaine thats a better wake up than fixing your pot of coffee.

Wow, reading all these stories just makes my heart feel warm. I too have a wonderful hubby. I have always known he was a keeper but one event will always stand out as the proof to all.

In January of 2004 we discovered my mother had a large 7cm mass in her left lung while she was undergoing surgery for a crushed ankle. Because of COPD she had lost the use of her right lung years before and thus making surgery impossible. My father was already in failing health and the stress had pushed him to the brink. I was being faced with placing my parents in a facility which is something I know they both had feared. I sat in the chair at the hospital as the doctors (both mom and dads) told me all the bad news, when they were done, I have been told, I just sat there in a daze for so long they wondered if I needed medical attention. Finally my husband spoke up and said to place my mother in a hospice plan and when the time came they would come home with us. I couldn't leave the hospital while my mom was still in surgery so my husband left and started making arrangements. He called my best friend and they cleared out my computer room, brought my fathers bed from their house to ours with my parents dresser and their clothes. He had a hospital bed and other medical equipment delivered and by the next morning everything was set up for both parents to come home. He also called my work and had them start the paperwork for me to begin a leave of absence that has lasted for over 20 months. My parents lived with us until both their deaths. Not once did my husband get upset or complain about anything. He took over everything with the kids so I could spend as much time as possible taking care of mom and dad. Now to some this doesn't sound to big so I should add that my parents HATED my husband and he pretty much had the same feelings towards them. He loves me so much that he brought the two people he disliked most in this world into his home and allowed them the dignity I wanted for them to have.

Well I am crying again as I do each time I remember this.

Oh, and now because I just cant stand to stay here in Las Vegas, he is giving up a wonderful job and moving across the country to a place he has only been to for a total of three days in his life to see me happy.

That is what I call Real Love.

Casey

Casey, you are right. He's one in a gazillion. ((Hugs)) Dotti

I got pregnant right out of high school and of course my boyfriend left me as he wanted no part of parent hood. My best friend Steve and neighbor since childhood (who is now my husband) used to take me jogging, give me his shoulder to cry on, take me down Old Orchard Beach (9 months pregant, huge as a whale, and not even his baby) and he used to walk around like a proud daddy.

He later got engaged and moved away to Florida. I got engaged also. Neither one of our engagements worked out. He came home to visit his mom/dad and I ran into him. I invited him over for dinner and 4 months later we were married. He adopted Josh (who was 2 1/2 years old) and we have been married for 13 years. We have a daughter together and while I was pregant for her I asked if he wanted to try again so that he could have a son "of his own" and he said "I already do". That touched me so much. We decided we only wanted 1 boy and 1 girl and that we only wanted 1 that we had together so that Josh would never feel like a third wheel. To this day he has NEVER once treated our children any differently (as a matter of fact sometimes I think he's closer to Josh *lol*) and Josh has never wanted to find his biological dad. He says "he doesn't deserve to know me".

There are so many examples of "true love" in our relationship and some of the things I have put this man through are too hard to talk about unless I'm in an AA meeting but you can imagine the things I have done and how hard it has been for him to stand by me but he does and no matter how hard I have tried to push him away he never has left my side. I NEVER knew what true love was (not even by my own mother) and he has taught me what the true meaning is.

I now have a 16 year old son and 11 1/2 year old daughter. At 16 years old my son has never smoked, drank etc. and ALWAYS thanks me for dinner, says I love you before school, before bed etc. and even when he hangs up the phone no matter where he is even in front of his friends. This is how I always wanted my children to grow up.

I feel truly blessed to have been able to marry my best friend and soul mate and thank Jesus for him every single day. I wish this unconditional love for everyone out there looking for it. My Aunt used to tell me (when I was a single mom looking for love and crying over and over again), you will find the right one someday, he's probably right in your back yard.

How right she was!

Kim

Kim, that is a beautiful story. It sounds like you were really blessed like me. I went blind only 13 months after me and my DH got married. We were just kids of 19. I had 4 operations and there were more to come. He stood by my side while I picked up the pieces of my life and helped me put it back together. He has never stood in my way from doing anything I've wanted to do and has always encouraged me even though I know he's been scared for me at times. He's my best friend in the whole wide world. I can tell him anything. He's the "wind beneath my wings."

Thank you, friends, for sharing of your lives. (Wiping tears here)

My DH and I got together when my oldest DD was just over a year old. It took him 5 times of asking me out before I finaly said yes. We went to the mall, all three of us. I knew he was a good man when I asked him to take me by the store so I could pick up diapers and wipes, when I came out he was just finishing changing her diaper. I was flabbergasted(her reall father never went near her) I said thank you but you know you didnt have to. His only answer was it needed to be done so I took care of it. This man, who is 4 years younger than me became the Daddy she needed and I wasnt even looking for anyone at all. Today shes 16 and acts just like him and even tho she gets really mad at him(teenager thing) she thinks hes king of the world. I think I got real lucky.

Okay. People have asked how Playa Cofi and I met.

Maybe it is time to educate you if we will be on this board for a while.

You would eventually find out anyway.

K

Great stories everyone.

Knot I am interested in knowing about your love.

Lani

Knot, you can't type something like that and walk away....

Come back here and tell us...

Casey

When this thread is over, I will tell you about real love.

When this thread is over? Dont make me close it and make another one, heehee. Dont think Im playing down the sometimes hard road to real love and caring. Its a struggle and a fight to hold onto anything worthwhile.

What great stories. :-)