Caught in the middle

I am sick of being caught in middle of 25yrold son & Hubby. I started to get into it- but you know, too long too much- But I swear if it wheren't for my garden & only 1 vehicle I'd move home with Mom. It all seems to be dying of drought anyhow- OK major depression here setting in. Just need a hug, if things don't get better maybe I will at least spend weekends there. All this tension is doing me in & of course always at a time when I can't just go out & weed. Ah well, I will go take a long bath,maybe he'll be asleep when I get through. I'm trying so hard to just button my lip there is no reasoning. Thanks for a safe spot to rant. Ginger

{{{Ginger}}}

Go get yourself a miners lamp and weed all night long if you need to. I know it is hard to be caught in the middle, de-stress the best you can.

Light a few candles and add something relaxing and calming to your bath, and soak until you are all wrinkled up. Slather on the lotion and spritz your pillow with something nice. Concentrate on the smell as you inhale nice and easy.

May your dreams be pleasant and your sleep be deep.

mg

Is son still living at home? Is it possible to tell him to leave? If so, do it. He is old enough to be on his own if he is mentally ok so that he is not really dependent on you for care. I don't know the circumstances, but have been in similar straits at times.

Ginger,

Rant as much as you need. That is why we have a person on the other end of a forum.

Life does not always deal us a good hand. I for one can attest that there were times I wanted to throw up my hands and just give up. (not literally)

As an experienced mother of a child that had no choice but to except my husband I certainly know what you are going through. Thankfully I am now married to a man that my daughter simply adores.

I am not suggesting that you do anything radical but you will one day see the light in that tunnel.

There is nothing greater than a mother's love. Though I do agree with Leaflady. If your son is capable to live on his own then maybe the best love you can give him is his own place.

I do not envy you one this one.

Can't add much except to echo the "take care of youself"; cannot do much about them. Sending hugs your way.

I hate to admit this but I used to hide out from my ex - when he got into a rant he was unstoppable. I kept a pillow and a blanket in the trunk.....! It's almost as hard to listen to as it is to get in the middle of it and participate.

If your son is able bodied, it's time for him to be on his own. If he is working, there's no reason for him to be at home if it creates such tension. I know it's easy to say, since we're not there, but long term stress is debilitating and eventually will take a toll on you.

Be kind to yourself. If you can get a weekend away, do it soon. Tell them why you are leaving. Do not prepare meals in advance. Let them see life without you will not be a cake walk.

In the meantime, do what mg suggested, and treat yourself to a good soak. You need to care about you.

Ginger, I'm 31 now. Mom (who loves me!) tossed me out when I was 22. It was the best thing she could have done for us. We just couldn't get along under one roof. Now that I don't live with her, we can be really good friends. We have a great relationship living 40 minutes apart. Good luck with your situation.

((((((((((((hug)))))))))))

Thankyou everyone! My son had left home, spent year in college,joined army and just before getting out was kept in extra year in Iraq. He went thru hell there So when he got home of course we where so thrilled & relieved. I'd keep him forever. But, several months after home he did get his own Apartment, only to leave to go to Atlanta to help his GF with a critically injured neice. Then back home after spending all hiw money helping the neice. So that is how he ended up at home. Good news now though. My daughter & her hubby wanted to stay with us until they can move back to New Orleans instead of my Mom's. So Kevin asked if he could move into Grandma's and she said yes-in fact he moved yesterday, And now my pregnant daughter is here while her contractor husband rebuilds thier home & city. I am so happy to have her. Thanks again for all the kind words. Ginger

(((((((GG)))))))))

See, things have a way of working themselves out.

Must be all that good energy you send out to the universe coming back.

mg

My mom always says ' things will work out' - she's right!!

Ginger,

Sounds like your whole family needs our prayers right now. Maybe things will work out with your son staying with his grandma.

Jody