Friends of ours just adopted!! Pics and travel story

Pirl, That must have been a treasued day :) Congradulations on the T-Shirt!!

:)

Susan

I love telling people that adoption "runs in the family". My great grandfather was a Brooklyn policeman in the 1840's and a child was left on his doorstep, as was common at the time. My mom adopted my brother and then (37 years later) I adopted.

When I was a little kid I swore I was adopted, too, because those kids were always so much more special. When I was about 16 (and had the exact duplicate of my mother's face) I asked her. She laughed and said that after three older kids she never would have thought of adopting at almost 43! I was her surprise.

So many people have said the rudest and dumbest things about it, over the years. Now, and for a long time, I've replied with the classic answer: "I'll forgive you for being so rude if you'll forgive me for not answering" and then I turn my back.

Good Answer!! I have already imagined the dumb things my friends will be asked about their daughter and I'm sure they will need to be prepared for such.

I have always wanted to adopt as well. I talked to my husband about it before we ever married and while we was somewhat receptive to the idea, I don't believe he really understood how serious I was and still am. Honestly, my own kids drive me nuts almost on a daily basis and I can't tell you how glad I am that school starts tomorrow...

However, I can forsee the time when mine are just a little older, fostering older children and possibly adopting. I know that older children have a harder time getting placed, and I've already had two of my own, so that just seems like the perfect fit for me.

I am half hispanic, though you'd never know from looking at me, and I would certainly take children of another race, but I think my husband would maybe not want the attention. I am extremely vocal and don't have a problem saying just about anything to anybody, but my husband is much more civil and polite and wouldn't want to speak out if someone were being inquisitively rude in front of our child.

A woman from my church had over 30 infant foster babies she cared for over the years before they went to the adoptive homes. The vast majority of them were another race and she told me that she got all kinds of looks and even checkers at the supermarkets would say things like, "Is that your baby"?

I guess you have to be prepared for ignorace if and when it occurs.

Susan

Yes, Susan, but it comes when you're not expecting it!

The first morning, when I woke up to her cooing, I was beside myself with excitement. I walked down the street with the baby carriage and the neighbors came out to see. One man said, "Of course she's smiling (meaning the baby). She's happy she's not in an orphanage".

Make no mistake she is very smart but at 4 months old just not THAT smart!

When my daughter was going for the first fitting of her wedding dress, many years ago, she introduced me to the lady with the common, "And this is my mother". The lady said, "As if I wouldn't have known!". We always exchange the sweetest smiles when people say it. I'd wish the same thing for every woman who adopts, regardless of the race. What a blessing it would be for people to always say, "As if I wouldn't have known!"

True and how nice :)

Susan

You guys are cracking me up. Well, our social worker warned us of the things people may say to us since our child will not look like us. But you know what? Austin is a hugely diverse city! Lots of Asians live here. And speaking of churches...I go to a bible church...called Hill Country Bible Church, and there are many couples that are adopting from Russia and China. So DH and I have tons of support.

But Susan, I'm like you...I say what is on my mind and have no problem with that. I get myself into lots of trouble that way! Bryan is much more of a "think before you speak" kind of person. But when it comes to dumb questions about our child, I know he won't hold back.

I've signed up on some yahoo groups today..one is all Austin people adopting from China and another is people for all over adopting from China. There are a lot of good adoption agencies out there and even though Great Wall is not a Christian organization like Steven Curtis Chapman's and some of the others...they are very very good.

Any advice you can give me pirl on the silly things people will ask and how you responded would be great. And susan, any advice on motherhood in general would be helpful!

OH..my sister is putting together a Chinese traditional quilt that in English is called a "100 wishes quilt"...I like blessings better than wishes...but you get the drift. People give a piece of fabric to be sewn into the quilt as well as a card with a wish or blessing for the child and a small piece of the fabric glued on it. So when our daughter gets old enough, she can look thru the cards and see who gave her what piece of the quilt and what they said to her. Cool hu? If you two or anyone would like to be a part of our 100 wishes quilt, email me privately and give me your real email addresses and I'll email all the info on it. I'd post it here...but it is kind of long and it has our home address on it. So I'd rather email it to you privately if you are interested.

Michelle

Hi Michelle, I had to reread the post.. I thought, I have to sew something?? Whew! I'd gladly give her some really pretty fabric for her quilt and write a special something :)

It's great that you have a support network.

My parenting advise would not be good since I have only just started drinking on a more regular basis since having children.

Susan

Michelle: I, too, would love to send a piece of fabric and a card. I'll email you.

Susan: as long as you're not starting before the family gets up in the morning you'll be okay! At night, when my son was teething I'd pour a glass of Cherry Herring, a very sweet liquer, dip my finger in it and rub his gums and then take a sip, on and on until he would fall asleep, me too!

Congratulations Susan!

My Sister and BIL have adopted two girls from China.
Maggie 4 years ago and Stacie just under 2 years ago.

They are a total trip!!
From Maggie's "What ever!" phase (Jeez! lol)
to Stacie's "Let's go catch bugs!"
(so she can chase her older and 18" taller sister around.)
There is never a dull moment!

Ric

Hey Ric, thanks, but my friends adopted and Michelle is adopting from the same agency :) I have two kids from a while back, 2 and 4.. and no need to congradulate me now!! :))))

Susan

Hi Ric,
how fun! Who did your your sis and BIL use for their adoption agency? WEll DH and I can't wait...although we have a lot of preparing to do for her arrival.
Michelle

I don't remember the name, though I think they were out of Texas.
I do know it's the same agency that Dan Marino (Dolphins) and his wife used.

If you need I can call her and ask.

I do know it took about a year on both girls.

Ric

Hi Ric
Great Wall China Adoption is headquartered in Austin. That is who we are using and who Susan's friends used. Hmm...I didn't know Dan Marino adopted. I thought they had a son...Daniel Jr.?
It is taking us about 1 to 1-1/2 years I think....6 months to get all the paperwork then the CHinese folks have it for about 9 months and then once they've chosen a baby for you, then it is another 2 months before going to China to get the baby. Seems like a long time, but I know it will go fast.
Michelle

Happiness wishes to all who embark on this lifetime adventure!

Sorry about the TX lead. I was wrong.
It was Families Thru International Adoptions in Evansville, IN

Ric

Ah yes, I've heard they are good too. I was just curious. Thanks Ric.

Thanks pirl!

SGL...what a story of about her and you all that so great and enjoyed to read your post so..."Congrat's"! to you all and she is so beautiful girl. I has been thinking about what I would love to have a baby girl but... I am afraid if they want back "what if" that is point and don't know how much that will cost to adopt?
More Picture coming of your prescious girl so cute.

This message was edited Aug 16, 2005 6:12 AM

At the time we adopted there was a big court case of a woman who wanted the baby she gave birth to, back and the judge ruled against the adoptive parents. It was such a heartbreaker.

I asked my then husband what we would do if faced with that situation and his response was swift: "Move". Florida had no laws enforcing return of a child and many parents moved there at the time.

If I had let the thought stop me from adopting I'd have missed out on so much love - it's beyond words. I just can't imagine my life without my child and she is mine. It's not blood that makes a family but shared history.

pirl, that is so encouraging to me. Thanks! Michelle

Here in Marietta, a girl gave up the child at birth and then the adoptive family had her for over a year when the young father sued for custody and won. It was a sad case.

Susan

Michelle,

The cases where the adoptive parents lose make the headlines and evoke a lot of well earned sympathy. For every one that ends that way there must be hundreds that end happily. I'd NEVER let the sad stories change my plans.

Maybe I was put on this earth to encourage people to adopt. Maybe this is all part of God's plan, I'm not the one with the answers. I just thank the woman who chose to give birth and made the decision that has brought so much happiness to me.

Please have faith, Michelle, and know I'm always rooting for you.

Here's my daughter and granddaughter!

I'm sorry if I was negative in posting that story :( Just talking but not trying to be a bad sport about it.

Pirl, your daughter and granddaughter are so sweet :)

Susan

People who are in the process of adoption always hear these stories Susan. It's news, not a case of being negative.

If we all knew what could and might happen to our children, no matter how they come to being "our children", this earth would have been barren of humans long ago. The dangers are all out there and we can lose them through accidents and incidents of all kinds.

To love and be loved is the greatest blessing of all and I do believe with my whole heart and soul that adoptive parents and children know it best.

Pirl, your right. When my firstborn came into this world, he was not breathing. He didn't breathe for a long time and I really thought I might lose him. It was in that time that I immediately realized that as much as I want to protect them and be there and make sure that they are okay, I don't have control over everything in his life and that I have to surrended my control to the Lord and pray for their protection and wellbeing.

Susan

Having children can really test your faith or give you the gift of faith! Being in church every Sunday doesn't guarantee that God will watch out over your kids any more than anyone elses - look at Rose Kennedy and all she had to endure.

pirl...I LOVE the picture. What a gorgeous young lady...well, and you are pretty good-lookin' youself!

One reason DH and I didn't adopt from USA is b/c of all the times a judge will give the adopted child back to the natural mother or father after 6 months or more. to us, that would be like a death of our child. In China, there is pretty much zero chance of a Chinese natural parent coming to the USA and legally reclaiming their child.

I agree with you and Susan that we must trust in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ in all things...fear is not from the Lord, it is from satan. And so I try not to be fearful about the problems that could arise from adopting. As you said, the same problems can happen with your natural child as well. Jesus promised He'd be with us to the very end of the age. But we do live in a fallen world and their are no guarantees that bad things are not going to happen to us...but it is our Lord that will pull us thru and He never wastes a hurt...something good always comes out of the bad. He works all things together for the good of those who love Him...that is in Romans 8:28 I believe.

He also give us the desires of our hearts when we delight in Him. And I do believe that my infertility is being overcome by God's love for us to grant us a child thru adoption. We were "adopted" into God's family thru the blood of His Son Jesus....so I think adopting is a very special thing!!

And we can't wait to go to China and get our little girl!!!

I am sorry Susan that you had to endure that with your son. Gosh, how horrible...but I am thankful to the Lord for His mercy that your son ended up breathing and being fine.

Michelle

You're looking at my baby (in orange top and slacks) along with her daughter, my granddaughter, Megan, on her 13th birthday.

I can only wish I looked THAT good!

My girlfriend's daughter adopted from Russia with great success and, as you'd expect, I know of many who adopted from South America to China and more. None were ever returned to the "natural" parents (don't get me started with THAT one because I go crazy with it and prefer "biological"). These judges who make that awful decision should go to the land of fire and brimstone ASAP.

Wanted to let you know we got an Email from my friend who is adopting the two Russian children. She and her Mother had the children in hand and were making last minute plans to return home to Nashville. I hope to be going to see them next week.

Michelle, I hope to have your card and fabric in the mail tomorow.

I'll let you know more about the babies as soon as I know... :)))

Betty

How can anyone think giving birth is more exciting than this?

Thanks Betty! I can't wait to hear all about the kiddos and see pictures!! Thanks so much for contributing to our daughter's 100 wishes quilt. This is very exciting.

I agree with Arlene (pirl)...this is like the excitement of giving birth I think. The paperwork as well as the cost is as painful as labor pains I think. haha!!

I think you are right, the waiting is soooo bad.

Betty

Having gone both ways, I say the adoption is the more tension, anxiety, wondering, waiting and it is the true gift of life but I am totally prejudiced and biased, but I'm right!!!

My personal experience with being pregnant twice is that the toll it takes on your body never goes away!! I was always told I had birthin hips, but I guess that didn't mean the rest of me was going to do well with all those stretch marks and extra weight and such! :))

Susan

That is funny Susan. My sister blames her extra 45 lbs on her kids...she says that since I'll never be pregnant that I will always be known as the "skinny" sister. haha. she is silly...I'd rather have to get rid of extra weight and be able to experience pregnancy and all that goes with it than be thin and not. But I tell you, all the running around and preoccupation I have with the adoption stuff, I've lost 4 lbs.

Michelle

I'm actually 17 pounds heavier than when I had my first child and I have to blame that on the stress of having children that drives me to eat for comfort.. not hte pregnancy itself. I have friends that have had babies and are pre-pregnancy weight in no time and look great. It's truely amazing and it depends pon the person.

We are going to Kevin and Claires Barbeque for Ginger this Saturday. Got her a toddler leap pad, a cartridge and a cute winter outfit I just couldn't put down. I will take pitures :))

Susan

Susan, you get to meet Ginger? OH how wonderful. Kevin and Claire do not know me...but pls tell them how happy I am for them. And I must see pictures!!!
Michelle

Yes, this weekend - tomorrow actually :)) Yes, i will take pictures and post... I am new at posting pics, but I will get friends help :))

Susan

I haven't been here in a while. Just wanted to let everyone know my friend is home with her two Russian babies.

The new family is adjusting to parenthood well, except for the 5 am wake up call. LOL.

Just try to imagine the thrill of it though. You're sound asleep and then awakened by babies crying. I can swear to you it's the sound of music and just remembering the very first morning it brings tears to my eyes. I just kept saying, "Thank you God".

Thanks for letting us know picabo. How exciting. I can't wait to wake up to the sound of my baby crying...needing food or new diapers...hehe.

Susan, where are those pictures of Ginger???!!!

Great Wall got in over 100 referrals yesterday from China. I would like to post a link to one couple here in Austin that received there's but not sure if I should without their consent. But she is a cutie for sure. My friend Shirley and her husband travel to China in the next week or so to get their baby. How fun!

Michelle