Need some advice.

I got a private message a few days ago from someone who gave me their address and said to send them a Clematis i had listed for trade. One, the trade has been CLOSED for almost a week, and two they wanted the Clematis for postage. I am new here and was a bit shocked. Included in the message was "Please help me" like this vine was a cure for something terminal. Now i know we all have gardening "problems" to one degree or another :) I think i felt that desperate the first time i saw the tree peony Kinkau, but i didn't (basically) demand someone send it to me for free.

I've been mulling over what to say in response for three days, and i can't decide. I thought you veterans might have the solution.

Melissa

Also, is this type of thing common?

Melissa this does happen sometimes, I would report it to Dave or one of the other admins so that they can check into it. Most people whether newbies or old timers have the courtesy to ask if something is available before they give any other info. It could be an honest sorta request but then again I had one a few weeks ago and it turned out that person had emailed 58 people within a few days of joining.

Let them know that it is no longer available but if they keep an eye out someone else might have what they are looking for and that they can ask but that dosnt mean its available.

Hi Melissa,

First off, I recieved the seeds yesterday, for the Datura. Thank you soooo much. I feel really badly though, that I didn't put enough postage. Will be sending you a stamp to pay you back. As far as someone being demanding for a cutting...maybe they didn't understand how this all works. I certainly don't understand it all, but also will do my best to ASK first, and make sure I understand. I'd check to see if this person is a new member, and if so, send a polite "heads up" type note, explaining how things work, and apologize that the post was closed, and you no longer have what was requested. Explain a trade, etc. That's the only way I would think to handle it, but again...I'm still learning myself, so there may be a better way.

Again, thanks for the seeds, and I'll get a stamp out to you soon :)

PiggyPoo :)

I am glad you got your seeds. Don't mind the stamp! Just pass along the favor sometime to another :)

Thanks also for the advice. I wouldn't mind sending out a cutting for postage (if the request was nice) but these were two year old fully rooted plants. Then again, things around here are very stressful, so maybe i am just easily ruffled lately.

Good luck with the germination!

Melissa

Totally understandable, and that's why I suggested a "heads up" to the member. That would just be passing on useful info to another DG member, without repremanding :) This place is so great!

Will be working with the seeds come Friday. Woohoo :)

Thanks again,
PiggyPoo :)

I don't even consider mailing something, without a please and thank you. I expect no one to kiss my feet, but manners are a whole other thing. Everyone can have some manners!

I'd just email themback and tell them it's gone since the trade was marked closed, or you could just say I'd rather trade it off for something i'm looking for.

that's polite, but to the point too.