trade gone bad, what to do?

Hi all. I need some help on what to do. I've only been trading plants for a few months, but so far I have had good feedback on the trades I have conducted. However, this time didn't go well at all. I traded with a guy in NY from Gardenweb. I sent him pictures of hosta that I had since I didn't know their names and he was looking for some specific ones. He agreed to trade me in his words "2 of my smallest" hosta for 3 black eyed susans. I felt this was fair and I had already told him that I had some smaller hosta of 2 eyes. He got my plants and is now harrassing me because he feels it wasn't a good trade. He is sending them back to me and wants me to send his plants back to him. He has "taken pictures of the plants and saved all our emails".

So, I go home to his package and open it. After all that. He sent me the wrong plants! He sent me someone elses trade. And to make the matter more funny, his hosta are just about the same size as the ones I sent him.

Since I opened his box, I'll now have to pay to have his plants shipped back to him. All told I'll have paid $10 to ship my plants to NY and have them shipped back. I don't think they'll survive. Since I'm new I don't have a lot of plants to trade, so this is very detrimental to me. I am tempted just to keep his plants and ignore his since he has been rude, ungenerous, and somewhat threatening. I've even considered that trading isn't worth it and that I will just stop.

Have any of you had this happen to you? What should I do?

Thanks,

Jacqueline

hhmmm, maybe you should send him the pics again that you origonaly sent him and with it send a pic of what he "returned" to you and let him know that they are not the same plants, you could always go back to the origonal email sent with the pic and add the new pic to that and let him know that they are not the same plants, that if he wants his plants back he can now send you postage for the return of them all since it seems as tho the mistake was his. Kinda rotten of him to change his mind when he had already agreed to and went thur with the trade. Myself Ive never heard of anyone doing what he is doing. Besides if he saved all your emails then he would see that he was in the wrong since it sounds as tho you were straightforward about this.

I haven't done any trading yet, but I would think this is a rare situation. Maybe you should email him, and tell him the plants aren't yours then offer to send money for the plants he sent you instead of worrying about shipping again. Or, if he wants his plants back, he will have to send a call tag.

Hope it turns out well for you.

Thank you both for your suggestions! At this point I just want him to go away! LOL.

I'm sure he won't be interested in paying postage to have his plants shipped back to him. He's expecting me to do it.

What he expects and what he gets are two different things. My take on all this is that YOU did what you agreed too but HE is the one who messed up. HE should be the one trying to fix this. Don't let this one deal turn you off from trading in the future. There is bound to be that one out there thats hard to deal with.

:) Judy, I like your thinking! :) I'm starting to feel much better about the whole thing. thank you all!

Yeah! I emailed him and pointed out that he had sent the wrong plants. I offered to take care of them until he could send me the postage and address for their original recipient. Then I will box them and send them on.

He was much nicer since I pointed out this would be a favor to him! I could almost feel the sheepishness of his email. I feel much better about the whole thing!

Thanks for all the suggestions! They gave me the courage to communicate with this guy one more time.

-- Jacqueline

Jacqueline, I feel for ya. That is just messed up! If you would like some more black eyed susans and a bunch of whatever else will fit in a box, I'd be happy to help you out. :)

Oh yeah, you did it with class Lady, a very hard thing too do when your upset. You let him know his mistake and let him know just how far you will go to make things right without putting yourself out. Proud of you and so glad it worked out for you.
Did you/he say anything about if he still wants the BES back? I would think he would now just send you the postage and not say another word about it since it was his mistake in the first place.

Thank you for the support Badseed!
I ended up adding some to an order from Bluestone since they were having a big sale.

You made me smile Dravencat! :)
He is sending me the postage label so I can send the box on to the trader he was supposed to send them to.

Very cool. Im so glad this worked out for you. Glad I made you smile.

Maybe in future stay with trading on Dave's Gardens. Here people are very friendly, and any problems can usually be addressed in a more polite manner.

The trading instructions here says not to trade more than you can loose.

If it had be me, I would have refused to return the plants to him in the first place without him paying the postage. Black eyed susans grows like weed and I can not see that he should be unhappy with hostas, no matter how small.

I think you have done more than you should.

Jacqueline,
Another rude New Yorker, er, I'm from NY too. I wouldn't give up on trading all together because of one moron. Maybe in the end he'll see his wrong, some people need a wake up call on their personality once in awhile, here's hoping this buffoon comes through in the end for you. Where in NY BTW? John

Jburesh, you have been GREAT to trade with, and all of our emails have been very well written.

As an FYI to the folks reading here, this wonderful lady was even worried that our own trade, arranged about the same time, may not have been a good trade. Jburesh was very good to trade with, and see how well she can communicate?

BTW, read your email, J....I lifted some of the Heath for you and will send it out when I know a convenient time for you. You're going to get another little goodie in that package, too! Sometimes one wrong can make a right. Most gardeners love to share. It's all part of that nurturing thang!
Lynn

Somer,

This culprit was not from DG, and I've had no problems with anyone on this site. Everyone else has been super wonderful and I feel much better after all the support from folks on this thread.

NY sure gets a bad rap. :) He was from the Bronx.

Lynn, thanks for your generousity! You have been wonderful to trade with as well!

Thank you all!