Realtor Advice

My husband and I are looking to sell our first house and upgrade to a bigger house on more property. We're currently working with the realtor we used for buying this house. We were very happy with her then-- we didn't know what we were doing and she showed us the way. However, this time we feel like she's not respecting what we have to say. First, she keeps sending us links to houses that don't meet our criteria at all. I don't blame her so much for this, because she can only show us what's on the market, and she's getting better. But mostly, I'm concerned because my husband and I feel let down-- maybe even a little put down-- after we talk with her. She seems to interrupt our comments by telling us how we're wrong. Isn't she working for us?? We feel like this should be a much more fun experience, and we should leave feeling excited and optimistic. We are young (in our 20s), so we feel like part of it might be age related-- since we're so young she feels like she knows better. But we're pretty set is what we want, and we don't want to be put down for it. We're looking for a house to live in for decades and raise our (future) children in, so we're going to wait until we find the right house.

So my question is: how do we tactfully solve the realtor problem? Is it okay to work with someone else, too, until we can decide who we work better with? We do respect our current realtor, so we'd like to avoid any hard feelings, whether we confront her or go with someone else. (I'm bad at these sorts of situations because I'm sensitive and never want to hurt anyone's feelings, which sometimes is unavoidable...) Any advice would be appreciated!

IMHO - Tell her how you and your husband feel. It is her job to listen to and respect your wishes. We were very lucky when we purchased our house (5 years ago) we had a wonderful realtor who sat down with us and discussed (our life style, our family (now and future), any likes and dislikes. She asked very probing and pointed questions to find out exacly what we were looking for in a house.
First you and your husband need to sit down and ask yourselves some questions to figure out what do you want in a house. ie. what are your priorities (Do you love to cook?, Do you love to craft? How many children are you planning? Do you want a dog? Garden space? Walking distance to schools, stores, library ect...? Do you have a certain style of house that calls to you?)
Then take this list to your realtor and discuss it. It will giver her a clearer picture of what you are looking for. Be open to her suggestions though, she may show you something that does not quite match but gives you more ideas and options.

Remember she does not get paid until you are happy and close the sale.

Danak: have you checked the MLS listings? It will give you a better idea of what your agent has to work with; she may just not have much to pick from right now (although this *is* prime real estate season.) Plus, you can then go to her with a few listings and show her just what you want.

http://www.nuwaymls.com/mls_listing_Washington.asp

Good luck finding your dream home! : )

Rhonda

Danak, I was a Realtor for nearly 20 years (retired now) and always did my very best to make every transaction a win-win for everyone involved. Even so, I couldn't succeed every time. I agree with sabragonier that you should make clear to the agent (gently but firmly) that you don't intend to settle for less than what you want. That said, you might need to consider the possibility that what you are seeking just isn't on the market right now. Rhonda's suggestion is a good one. Also, as you are driving around watch for homes on the market and note the addresses of any that look promising. You could also stop in at any open house event without your agent. If you find one you like, you can ask her to handle the sale for you. (The agent holding the open house will be disappointed not to represent you as buyers, but getting the house sold is the main objective.)

Home-hunting is exciting, but it is also hard work. And making the choice of the property is just the beginning. Handling the escrow properly is crucial. All the details of financing, various inspections and title work are complex and need close oversight by an agent who has the resources and time to devote to the job. Since your agent handled your first transaction satisfactorily, she likely has the skills to do so again. You are fortunate in that you are not under the pressure of a deadline.
Take the time you need, and if you do finally work with another agent - well, it won't be the first or the last time that has happened. It's your money, and you have the final word. Yuska









This message was edited May 19, 2005 8:38 AM

Thanks everyone. Actually, we have already tried everything that has been mentioned. First, we have given our realtor a detailed description of what we're looking for, along with a list of must-haves and wants. We have found homes that look promising looking for ourselves online, so it's not just that there's nothing out there. Also, as I mentioned before, she has made comments that we feel are sort of offensive or condescending. This is the worst thing, and it's what makes us feel put down. When we bring a listing to her that we like, she points out all the "flaws" in it-- or her perceived flaws. "It's too far out there. You don't want to live in the toolies." Well, yes, actually we may. I grew up in the toolies and I loved it. We'd already told her that. It's a LOT of things like that... So we're already at this point, where we feel we've tried everything except confronting her about it (which I'm HORRIBLE at!) or talking to someone else. Sbragonier, I really liked what you said about sitting down and really talking about it-- something we've done less of, it seems, than her feeding us her opinions...

Buyers agents are quite common around here, as is an exclusive contract. So long as you have not signed a contract with her, you can switch realtors.

Although I'm not a realtor, I work with them a lot in my business. Their biggest complaint (here at least) and biggest reason to lose interest in working with a client is if they have the perception that the client has unrealistic expectations. I don't know your area, so please, don't take this wrong, but here, because housing costs are so high, many people do not understand realistically just how much house they can or can't afford. Perhaps she is only showing you what is within the price range you set.

I totally agree with Yuska, it is most important to have a realtor who can handle the details in a timely and correct manner. Take your house hunt into your own hands. Select the neighborhoods you are interested in, drive around in them every weekend. And search the internet.

www.realtor.com
www.forsalebyowner.com
www.multiple-listing-search.net

With few exceptions, the Realtor is always working for the seller. Other than the listings they acquire, that's where they make their money. I would encourage you to continue to look at the MLS listings, and if your realtor isn't willing to show you the property, go and look at it with who ever is listing the property. If you decide to make an offer on a property, thelisting realtor will ask if you are working with a realtor, but you are under NO obligation to have that realtor involved in the transaction if she wasn't the person who found it for you.

Another approach is to drive around the areas you find attractive, you may find "for sale by owner" homes that aren't in the MLS, or vacant properties that have not yet gone on the market. Tell everyone you know or work with what you are looking for, they pass through their neighborhoods and know what's available, or have friends, family or know of other people who are selling.

Relying on your agent doesn't seem to have been productive. She should not be telling you what you do or don't want! She is obviously not listening to you, just looking to sell a house so she can split a commission. Tell her politely but firmly if she doesn't start showing you properties that meet your criteria, you will start working through another realtor.

I worked through a realtor who was an old friend, once, when we were looking for property, and I could not believe what she showed me, as if she hadn't known me for thirty years. I had even given her a list of what we wanted; large lot at least an acre, fireplace, 4 bedrooms, large kitchen, 3+ garage, and she showed me.... a 2 bedroom cape cod with no garage, a duplex with two flats, that had a 3 car garage, but only one bedroom in each flat, and a couple of run down central city homes with large lots but no garages, it was as though she totally ignored our preferances. I then started looking on my own, as above, and found what we were looking for. I did not involve her in the transaction, as I did not feel she earned a commission for my work.

This is the voice of experience, we've bought five homes in the past twenty years, and have learned something new every time. Also, you can look on Ebay, although the homes I've seen on there are well beyond our budget....

I wish you lots of luck, but your results will likely come from your own efforts, so try some of the above and see if you get some better choices.

On the other hand, I bought a house last year that has zero of my "must haves" and was $20,000 than my "top price". I happened to drive down the street when the listing agent was putting out the sign, and fell in love.

But if you don't have a contract, and you don't like the person you're dealing with, then why not switch?

Thanks for your advice and support! Yes, I think price range was an issue at first, but because she didn't believe we could afford what we were asking for! Now our preapproval is set and we know for sure what range we're looking in, and our realtor believes us. :) And lately she has been showing us better homes, but also missing some that we would have loved (they've been already "Subject to Inspection" by the time we've found them) and still sending us ones that are totally off. I can identify with you, meezersfive! Thanks for the links-- we've just been looking through realtor's websites. I didn't even know about the forsalebyowner or the MLS site itself-- go figure! I feel encouraged again. Thanks so much!

--Dana

I (personally) think you're better off using a realtor to sell your house, and finding your next home on your own, or with a different realtor.

We once (fatefully) had a realtor getting three sides of the transaction - she had listed our home, written the contract for the couple who was buying it, plus written the contract on the house we were buying. Talk about incentive to do a good job!

Every step of the way we had to prod and nag at her to get things done, and - because of the slipshod way she handled things, the whole deal collapsed at the closing of the house we were selling. (A last-minute meets/bounds survey showed the property was in a flood zone.) Three years later, we finally got the Corps of Engineers to write a letter stating our property had NEVER been in a flood zone. That wasn't her fault, but had she gotten the survey done sooner, we would have known there was a potential problem and gotten it worked out without being sued by the reneging would-be owners of our home. Which in turn made the surveying company totally unwilling to talk to us for fear of us suing them for their mistake.

Even if the deal hadn't fallen through, the house we were planning to move into wasn't in move-in condition on closing day (major re-routing of ductwork and other agreed-upon repairs had not been completed, despite them having had 5-6 weeks to get it done.)

If anyone should have been motivated to work hard for the money, it was this realtor, and yet at every junction, WE were calling HER to find out why things weren't getting done on schedule.

Can you tell this left a really bad taste in my mouth? We've since had wonderful experience with some realtors, and so-so with others. But I couldn't recommend putting all sides of a transaction into one realtor's hands ever again - not unless you're absolutely confident they're going to keep on top of everything as though their entire month's commission depended on everything going off without a hitch.

Yikes, that's quite a story! We have kind of wondered if our realtor is showing us houses that she's trying to sell, or something, since she's showing us strange options when there are other options out there... Our mortgage broker has recommended other realtors to us, and we're thinking it may be time to contact them. :) But in the meantime, we've been busy looking online ourselves and finding several promising options!

Go Danak!!! I peeked in to see how it was going, I think you are going to be VERY successful!

I'm glad the online links helped. I use them a lot. It's a lot easier to shop sitting on your butt, than chase all over town. Keep in mind, that the information listed is only as accurate as the realtor making the entry though.

Here is another link I use constantly.

http://www.bankofamerica.com/loansandhomes/index.cfm?template=hc_home_worth

If you enter an address, it will tell you the "comps" recent home sales in the same neighborhood of houses that compare in size to the address given. Really quickly it will give you an idea of whether the asking price is appropriate or over priced. I used it recently in reverse. My daughter is looking for a fixer upper, so when I entered the subject address, and compare, it tells me if other property is priced considerably higher than the asking price of what we are looking at. Found a house priced $50K below the rest of the neighborhood.

And I have to second what Terry said about using a different realtor for seller and buyer. When we bought this place, the seller had just had a bad deal go sour, and because this place didn't sell, she lost her earnest money deposit on her new place. The realtor told us she wasn't willing to work with anyone but him, and if we brought in our own realtor she wouldn't accept the offer!

Because this was the ONLY property that suited our needs, we put up with this, and bought the home. But he was on the side of the seller all the way. He tried to discourage us from getting an inspection, he bumped the closing up by two weeks and a variety of other things.

The realtor made over $20,000 commission. And then after we closed, we reported him to the board of realtors. He lost his license.

Wow, that's crazy! Good for you for turning him in, though. That's certainly something to keep in mind then: if we find a house on our own, we probably shouldn't contact the selling realtor ourselves! I guess it's certainly good to have our own realtor, whether we work things out with ours or find someone else.

This is great advice, everyone! We've bought a house, but never sold one, so this is pretty new to us. We appreciate the voice of experience. :)

Thanks,
Dana

Might have been a coincidence, but after our "incident" the Tulsa Realtors Association added "dual agency" disclosure to their bylaws. In retrospect, I'm pretty sure our realtor was acting illegally by representing both buyer and seller in our transaction, but we didn't know that at the time.

Stranger still, when I called the agency several years later - because this same agent had failed to file the proper documents in court to show we had paid the judgment against us - I told them my name and I was instantly transferred to the owner of this very large, well-known real estate group. Weird, huh? I got the feeling my name was on a "if she ever calls, transfer her me" list at the receptionist desk, lolol. Ahhh, well - you live and learn.

Well, I was going to keep my trap shut, but just must defend the "good" agents out there. The "dual agency" feature was always in effect when I was working in R.E. (California). In many ways representing both parties can be very successful... some of my most satisfactory transactions came about that way. It requires tact and empathy to keep some information private and yet disclose the necessary and pertinent facts to be fair to both sides. I never counted my commission dollars until they were in the bank and would not lie or cheat to get them there. And often I paid for an inspection or appraisal out-of-pocket myself to help move matters to a close. It lessened my income but completed the work. Failed transactions rarely benefit anyone. Yuska

Yuska, there ARE good agents out there - we got burned very badly by this one, but the next one we worked with (we used her services twice, to sell two homes within 3 years) was wonderful and definitely made up for the way we were treated before. My only reason for commenting was that in my very personal opinion, I would never again have an agent working both sides of the transaction for me - even if I felt their integrity was above reproach, it's bound to place them in an awkward position with conflicting loyalties at certain moments.

Well, what would you do if the agent who listed your home brought you an offer? Reject it without considering it at all? Or would you tell the listing agent not to show the property? Why would the agent hold an open house? I understand your reluctance in light of a terrible experience, but "never" could miss some choice opportunities.

I don't mean to get on a soapbox here. I know there are many frustrations in the home-selling-buying process for the principals. And the process is no bed of roses for the agents. When the principals see the commission figures on the estimated cost sheet, they think the agent is getting rich. Au contraire - in the case of the national companies - 8-10% comes off the top for the regional/national orgs. and of the remainder up to half belongs to the brokerage/agency. The agent has upfront expenses without any guarantee of reimbursement: gasoline, phone calls, often advertising, NAR fees, etc. Not to mention the irregular hours and being virtually "on call" at all times. There are no fringe benefits - no insurance, pension - not even workers' comp. Why does anyone do it? I don't know! Maybe we are all a little crazy, but the challenge is compelling. And in many ways I miss it.

That is why I'd feel bad changing agents at this point-- all the time ours has been working for us so far would be lost to her. However, if she's not doing a good job and we're not satisfied, we have the right to look elsewhere. Maybe it would make her realize that she has to treat her clients better! The more I think about it, the more I feel like she's treating us like we're stupid because we're young. On the contrary-- we're both very intelligent people! That's probably why it bothers us so much.

My advice would be to find a new agent. I had my real estate license, as well, and worked for multi-million dollar agents in 3 different states. You deserve better and there are better agents out there. You don't owe this lady anything. She isn't doing her job. If she were doing her job, you'd be happy. You're not happy, so move on. I've done everything from marketing to client relations and it really doesn't take that much to keep clients happy. (I don't mean that to sound crass, either.) Communication is the basis for everything. If a realtor is willing to listen and keep in touch, that takes care of nearly everything else that can come up.

You do need a realtor, though. We've sold two houses FSBO and bought three with agents. It can be scary business if you're on your own (and that's considering my husband and I are both well educated). Realtors know so much more about the laws and disclosures that need to be made. When finding your next agent, which I hope you will have accomplished before the weekend is over, ask how long he/she has been in the business and how many closings he/she has each month. If they are busy, that's a good sign they know what they're doing. If they have been in the business for 2 or more years, it means they probably have a decent amount of knowledge.

Now, off with you... go find that new shining star of an agent who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

You have already lost confidence, danak, so I'd say move on. But please consider that there are many pitfalls and regulations in these transactions that a reliable agent is required to disclose to clients, and more restrictions are imposed all the time. Age has almost nothing to do with it. Intelligence means the capacity to learn, while intellect is an accumulation of knowledge. What may seem to you like an unnecessary roadblock may actually be designed to protect you. Ask questions and probe until until you have a clear understanding of each problem, and ask to look for compromise. Negotiation is an important element, and your intelligent imagination can play a useful role. Good luck, and enjoy the hunt!

Yes, it's probably time to move on. I realize that there are legal aspects of this (which is why we'd be reluctant NOT to use a realtor), but it's beyond her job in that respect that she's treating us like we're stupid. I look even younger than I am, and I'm intelligent and educated, so I get very offended when people treat me like that. In the meantime, I'm waiting to hear back from our mortgage broker-- she offered to recommend some good realtors that we can talk to. Maybe I should call her so I can get the show on the road again!

One other point, danak, that I hesitated to bring up, but if you haven't made provisions for it you may experience some disappointments later. In your first post you mentioned selling your current home. If closing the sale on your next home will be contingent upon first closing out your obligations on the first one, your offer will not look so attractive to the seller if your current home is not at least in escrow. In effect, the seller would be taking the property off the market without any real assurance that you can finish the transaction. Don't be surprised if the seller in such an instance counters with something like a "72 hour first right of refusal." That would allow other offers to come in, and if one has no such contingency, the seller would give you written notice so that you could possibly remove the continency and move ahead. Otherwise, the replacement offer could be accepted over yours. Just another "wrinkle" in the R.E. world.

Yes, that is something we're aware of. We probably will make a contingent offer, but we figure if we lose a house that way, it wasn't meant to be. However, another possibility is that a friend of ours may buy our house, in which case we wouldn't need to go through a realtor to sell it, and then we wouldn't have to make a contingent offer. We'll see how this all plays out... One good thing is that our (former?) realtor thinks our house will sell really quickly, and other houses in our neighborhood have sold so quickly that we didn't even know they were on the market!

Okay! You're in a flexible position, and that's great. Please keep us posted on how you get along in this important project. I'm almost envious...such a challenging and intriguing process. I've been through it on personal basis myself a number of times, but am content to stay put for now. Best wishes!

Thanks! And thanks for all your advice. I'm feeling a lot better about all this now!

I dont' know if it's different for you but my husband I signed a contract with our realtor when she started putting in bids but up until that point we didn't have to do anything to change realtors. We felt as you did during the buying of this home (our first) that ours was great but looking back I see she wasn't.

Luckily we don't have a contract yet! We haven't put in any bids yet, since we haven't found anything we're that interested in. I still haven't heard back from the mortgage broker, though, so I haven't contacted any other realtors yet.

I know that when we started hunting I found the net to be a great source. Most realtors in town had pages and I'd look through and pick the ones I liked etc then the DH and I would take a look at the neighborhood (we didn't know much about the town) I can see we made it super easy on our realtor because I would come in with the places I wanted to see more of. We lost the first house we put a bid on because the other agent was dishonest and to this day I hate the fact we lost that house because I just loved it.

Just to put my two bits worth in_____ When I actively worked in real estate sales, it was normal and expected to try to sell your own listing first because then you would earn listing and selling commissions on the property. But after showing my listing within the buyer"s price range, I would sit down with them and go over ever home in the MLS book that was in the correct price range . We would pick as many as the buyer choice to view , and set up those appointments. If a buyer was making an offer on one of my listing, I always made sure the offer was subject to a good report from a home inspection expert. This way, I felt the buyer had more confidence in me, and didn't think I was just trying to sell my own listing for more commissions. One Capital Rule!!! Never, ever buy a house with out a home inspection report, even if you have to pay for it yourselves. It is the best money you can spend in this transaction. Lou

I agree..our inspector missed several MAJOR things with ours but I'd never buy a home without one but I do think next time I'll find my own inspector and not go with the one the realtor "always" uses.

Since most potential buyers are preapproved for the mortage, I have them ask the mortage company for a referral to a home inspector. The mortage company has alot at stake, and wants an honest and complete report on the home's condition. They know who will give them this kind of report. Lou

*G* Next time you can be sure I'll do that. Course next time I don't care if I have to live in a cardboard box I'll make sure that I like the house we buy more than I like this one. We had very little time to make a choice and the DH loved this one so I thought "How bad can it be" . So now I don't enjoy the house nearly as much as I would if I had "loved" it and just look forward to the time when we can sell and move (which will be another several years down the road)

Saint

Thanks for the advice on the inspectors. I'd heard about inspectors missing things, but having the mortgage company recommend an inspectof seems like a good way to go. We're lucky we have a lot of time to find the "perfect" home. We plan on staying there for a long time, so we want to find one we really love!

As a mortgage broker, I definitely have people I reccommend, for realtors, inspectors, etc. And just so you know, there is absolutely no way any of them are getting/giving kickbacks to the broker for the business. You can be sure they are In a lot of industries, that is a common business practice, however if a mortgage broker participates in it, the Federal government has a program for that. It's called "three hots and a cot!"

Ask your mortgage broker about "bridge financing" to cover if you find the perfect house and yours hasn't sold. Frequently that will cover a few months. There are several creative ways around that issue, so don't lose a house you love because of that.

This message was edited May 22, 2005 9:31 PM

Good to know-- thanks!

We drove around this weekend on our own looking at houses we'd found online. We happened upon an open house at one of them! The realtor there was very friendly and helpful, but non-intrusive. We were dressed in our weekend worst, and being young, we figured that would be a good test to see who's really friendly and not just out for our money. We e-mailed that realtor once we got home, not for the house, but to see if he would work with us in our hunt. Haven't heard back yet, but we've possibly found ourselves a new realtor...!

Congratulations! Just be sure you are working with an experienced agent. Ask a lot of questions so that you can get a good "feel" for the kind of person he/she is and what is expected from both sides.

Yes, that is great advice. I'm a little nervous now to go in blindly with someone new, but I'm sure if we talk a bit and we ask a lot of questions, we'll know if he's right or not. I'm anxious to get the show on the road again-- it's amazing how a house hunt can take over our lives and minds for a month and nothing has even happened yet! I can't wait for this to be all over. :)

Remember: How long have you been selling real estate? How many closings do you have each month?

:)

Can you ask the realtor about houses recently listed, and/or sold? If you can get the name of the seller or buyer, you could call them and ask how they felt about the realtor, service, etc.