What ever happened to "Love thy Neighbor"?

its my husbands fathers sisters grandson....>>>> or your husband's first cousin once removed?

These reflections on inconsiderate neighbors (all of mine our great now, thankfully) reminds of the time I found the kids from down the street trampling all of the plants in a large "butterfly" flowerbed in my yard. I nearly passed out when I saw the damage they had done and why they were in the flowerbed. They had butterfly nets and had captured so many butterflies it was unbelievable. I asked why they were doing this and they said they wanted to look at them with a magnifying glass. Being a teacher, I said that that was a great idea, but you don't have to kill all of the butterflies ... just take a few. I asked them to remove themseves from my yard, release any living butterflies that they had in the huge container they had and catch butterflies in their yard. They wouldn't leave so I proceeded to go down and talk to their mother. The kids followed me. After explaining the problem, the mother told me that the butterflies in my yard didn't belong to me which was indeed true. She said her kids could go into my flowerbed because part of it belonged to the city as an easement (about a foot and a half). When I mentioned the plants being crushed, she told me that I could always plant new ones since that seemed to be what I liked to do all of the time anyway. Then, she told her kids to go back and gather more. That's when I had to call the police to protect my yard, the butterflies and my sanity as well. I never spoke to these people again and they finally moved. I still cringe when I think about it.

That's a more detailed account but sounds so familiar. That's basically the attitude the 'roundballers' across the street have. I guess it's a non-gardener view - "ehh, it's just a plant so plant another one".

StvNicksFan: LOL that’s horrid but funny =D

corky59: I think that’s what I am going to have to do with all my inlaws lol. I like being blissful!

caitlinsgarden: Understandable, It wouldn’t be so bad if he wasn’t related to me somehow. He does seem a bit creepy…Plus my father in law said hes never been really right anyways, but that side of the family is greed ridden if there ever was Such a thing.

Gardengirl1204: Heck maybe I should call him! He could have a friggen field day with this family!! lol

HaroldS: THAT’S what I meant! I didn’t know how the whole saying went… *grins sheepishly*

htop: Oh dear god I would have been infuriated. I would have told her she could plant the flowers herself for the damage her kids caused. That was just downright rude of her to do that. That’s when I would have invested in a electric fence. “Oops?”

8ftbed: OOOO I hate that saying. My husband says it sometimes, and I politely correct him instantly. Its not the flower itself, it’s the fact that you planted the flower and the fact that it took a lot of effort to make sure that plant lived. Flowers are just as important, they do have feelings.

We wish there were more neighbor friendly communities. I can't help but think a lot of society problems stem from these small groups not being strong or caring about other people.

Since living in our new neighborhood we've gone to introduce ourselves to several of the new people who've moved in after us, getting a very good reception, people seem way more surprised than anything. Since then we just get friendly waves from some and others look the other way.

We've recently (and politelyI might add) told a neighbor not to let her dog be at the roadside (small poodle) because the city has leash laws we'd heard and didn't want her to get in trouble, she apologizes and says the kids let it out but it is out every day barking snippily at everyone who passes, trotting up and down the street and making deposits on our nice lawn all the time.

We have mowed down other neighbors lawns that were becoming overgrown. We've loaned out a ladder, given spare gasoline for lawnmowers and given home improvement advice to those who've asked. And we've picked up several trashcans for people if we got home before they did and the cans were in the street or still at the curb. We went out of town for work, put our trash out and came home a day later to find our can rolling in the street (lid laying nearby). No one had put our can up by our house. I'm confused by it but learning to accept it. Wishing now we could just live in the country! LOL! SOMEDAY!

Neighbors, neighbors where do I begin. Well lets start with the crack cocaine dealer who lived 3 houses down from us on the other side of the street. It took three years, but he finally got caught by an undercover cop at his girlfriend's house, got evicted from the house where he lived on our street, but not before he totally trashed . I thought his landlord kind of deserved it for not doing a background check on the guy in the first place. Then we have the dealer who lived 3 houses down on our side of the street. Two years ago this Mother's Day he ran a stop sign (under the influence) and broadsided a car killing the driver instantly. The perp got put in the hospital for his injuries( the police didn't think he would make it) but he did. He left the hospital and went on the lamb with his girlfriend a druggie also. Oh by the way, he made it onto America's Most Wanted. No kidding. He finally got caught and sent to prison. Then there is the crowd across the street who has a boxer they let run in all the yards. It has chased children and a mailman. I found out the dog owners were not even supposed to have a dog at that rental so I complained to the landlord and now live on the edge of my seat waiting for the proverbial blank to hit the fan. Oh did I mention they are also socializing with the drug elite of our town. Dear Lord, please let the doctor keep me on Prozac for ever.

Buckimom, I can totally sympathize. I manage a combination of property that includes several seedy motels that rent rooms by the week, and trailer courts. When I took over, the local deputys asked what in the world I was doing here, (apparently I didn't look like I belonged). There have, in the past year, been 9 murders, several questionable deaths, and countless arrests for drugs, theft, assults, runaways and prostitution. People went door to door offering drugs and sex on an nightly basis.

The owner of the property has his picture in the dictionary right beside the word "slumlord" and doesn't care who he rents to so long as they have money. His quote words to me were: "Even drug dealers and hookers need somewhere to live" . It was so bad that the local deputy sheriffs told me they weren't interested in helping me clean up the area because the owner wouldn't keep it cleaned up.

No, we don't run credit and background checks on everyone who applies. That would be a joke, and a waste of money. Anyone who can pass a credit or background check wouldn't be caught dead here. But I can require them to prove a legitimate source of income, even if it is welfare.

What I have managed to do is begin to clean up the area. Suprisingly enough, we started first by maintenance. Repairing peoples living quarters, just simple basics of ensuring they had running water, toilets that flushed, working furnaces, etc went a long way to getting on the good side of a few tenants. Following through on promised repairs, which apparently wasn't a priority with previous management, made a big impression. These tenants then started talking to their neighbors and quietly letting me know who needed to go.

My next step, was to fire the assistant manager who was stealing and housekeeping staff who were just lazy. These rooms are 60 years old, run down, and tiny, but they can darn sure be clean. Then we started evicting any and all who caused a disturbance, or were trashing rooms or didn't want the housekeeping staff in their rooms. It amazed me, how the same people who were behind on the rent, were also the ones that I was being tipped off as the druggies or dealers. I made a lot of people mad, since once they went behind in the rent, even by a day, I could add enough fees, fines and additional deposits, that it was in their best interest to move. I was a very unpopular person for a while, and was very cautious about walking the areas.

Four months, and we have made a major impression. The deputies tell me they don't mind coming here now, because it is less frequent, and not for as serious things as in the past. We made life uncomfortable enough that the druggies and hookers have moved on, which was all I wanted. I don't care (much) what they do for a living, but they cannot do it on or near my property. To me, dealing drugs out of your home, or streetwalking outside your front door is kind of like a dog pooping in it's own bed. Animals are smarter than that.

Dear Solitaire,
Wow what a story. Our town is trying to clean up,but it will take a long time so much has been let go for so long. We had a newspaper story the other day about a house that got busted for drugs. Police asked permission to enter but was told no so they got a warrent and found a basement full of pot. The story mentioned that years ago this house was reported by people because the basement lights were always on. I found it interesting that it took so long for the police to do something, but then that is why there is the mess there is today. "Years ago" things were let go and it will take years to clean up this small city. I live in what people would consider middle America,not the inner city of a metropolitan area. A mixture of nice and not so nice homes and nice and not so nice people. BTW, I was just joking about the Prozac.

Figured the prozac was a joke, but I do understand. There are times around here I joke about handing it out in mass quantity! I, too, found it amazing that the law enforcement were not interested in what was going on here unless someone died. Drugs are still very common here, I'll never get rid of their use, I just want to eliminate the dealers. The deputies would tell me who was a known dealer, but apparently aren't able to do anything about them. Frustrating.

I have a lot more control over my little neighborhood than you do, but maybe you can organize your neighbors into a group to influence who the landlords rent to?

Forget the Prozac - I think I'd need valium if I had to deal with what you do! Solitaire, good for you on managing these properties as you have.

Wow, I guess I should keep my neighborly complaints to myself! I sure live in a bubble. I have never had to live in a place with such crime and chaos as you've described! When we first moved to SA though we didn't know the area and not planning to be in an apartment too long I wasn't very careful about choosing. I always wanted the biggest sq feet for a decent price as I could get. I imagine there was a lot of people living at the place I found in the type of situations you described and the landlords were slum, they wouldn't fix anything and the place was dirty, it was the first place I'd ever rented that I had to clean as soon as we moved in. We tried to work long hours and save up to get out of that hole and buy our own home in a nice area. So I'm sure the place was bad but I tried not to be exposed to it. It is so sad that these types of places seem to be becoming more prominent.

Actually I was totally clueless about this type of scenario before we took this on. We had an idea of the neighborhood, but we were originally hired to manage the RV Park only, at an exorbitant salary, and considering we are getting older with no retirement, we figured we'd take it and save some money. Since starting, the job has expanded as the owner came to trust us, and now we seem to have inherited a lot more than we bargained for.

I've found that whenever the sheriffs want to sit and watch the street, I take out coffee, or some cookies, and they like sitting here almost as much as the donut shop! But it sure discourages illicit activity.

It was never where I pictured myself, but it isn't dull.

Dear Solitaire,
Never a dull moment boy isn't that the truth. This morning bright and early the jerk with the dog was moving out but not without incident. My neighbor babysits her two granddaughters and their dog at break time and in the summer. Well, right when the daughter is coming down the street he sees her and lets the dog out front and waves it to go across the street. Needless to say she almost hit the dog. Well then it was you ____ _____! You almost killed my dog!! You better watch out because I will come over there and kill those kids and your dog and then beat the ___ __ out of you, b____! Lovely, lovely.

Uh, someone makes threats like that, you call the police immediately! Police take a very dim view of someone threatening to kill kids. He'll have a new home.

LOL Solitare, "he'll have a new home." So true! What a punk! What is wrong with people? Why do people talk to people like this. I always try to be sooo nice to people I have no association with, you never know WHO they are and how great they might be! Seems the world is getting ruder, saw a bumper sticker on a MINI VAN with kids in it yesterday: Born Again B______. What class. *Rolls eyes*

You are very right, the world has become very accepting of rudeness. I tend to think it is worse in the city where you can be anonomous, but that could be just my perspective. It is sad that when I grew up, you drove down the street and waved at everone. People still do that here. They just use less fingers.

Dear Alamoaimee,
I have believed that part of the problem in this neighborhood has been the niceness that has been shown to the creeps by some of the neighbors. No disrespect intended to you.If you aren't
nice to them you have to put up with their crap and if you are nice to them then it looks as if you are accepting of their drug use and don't care that there are drugs in the neighborhood. The cops were called and the punk was not there at the time so he (the cop) left a note in the mailbox. The cops were called when the punk came back but they never showed. If I were the punk I wouldn't want to be back in the neighborhood and if I were the girlfriend I wouldn't want to stay. I want to move but DH doesn't want to. I appreciate all of you letting me vent about this. I tell people all the time I will probably wind up in a trash compacter someday especially when the creep who made AMW gets out of the pen.

This message was edited Apr 13, 2006 4:35 AM

Dear Buckimom,
So sweet! Here I am talking about manners and you remind me how it is to address someone in writing again! Thanks!
At my new house in suberbia my Grandpa came to visit and saw how they build homes so close together and said there is noooo way he could live here, he loves his countryside! Someday we can move there. I think farm animals and fences make much nicer neighbors. Hehe.

Update, the house with the person who threatened our neighbor's kids is finally empty again. It has been so nice for about 2 months until the next tenants move in. Landlord doesn't much care who she rents to. My neighbor and I are hoping it has gotten around town not to move in this neck of the woods because neighbors won't put up with stuff. LOL

Glad to here about the update! And glad to see your pesky neighbors are gone.

I finally fixed my problem myself as well.

About a month ago, we finally finished our fence. Woven wire, with two strands of barbed wire up top. Along with two dogs that love my kids but hate strangers running free in the yard now too. =)

Needless to say I haven't had any problems now on either side of my property out of nieghbors!!

=D

Solitaire, I was reading your posts and then noticed where you were from. I think I probably have an idea of the area you're talking about. I take the bus down that street every morning.

I used to live in the inner city of Chicago, where I'd look the other direction as men traded wads of cash for tiny packets of powdered sugar right in the lobby. I rarely had heat, and once during a Chicago winter, when I had pneumonia, I had to get out of my sickbed and take my space heater back to Sears to exchange when it died.

I'm glad I was finally able to buy a house in a decent neighborhood, even with the yappy dog next door that won't shut up and the kids who drag race at 3 am one street over.

I'm probably the one the neighbors complain about. The house and yard need a lot of work. I've tried to weed the front yard and the driveway, but I'll have to wait until next spring to put grass in and buy a lawnmower.

A week after I moved in, the green space over my back fence became a row of duplexes. I planted lilac bushes, but till they're big and grown, I plan to plant sunflowers. Big sunflowers.

Ah, memories of living in the big city. I've always said there are advantages of living in a rv. If I don't like your neighbors just turn the key and move! Even my garden is designed to be moved, just in case.

White hydrangia, do you need sunflower seed? I have plenty, and would be glad to share. I live in the country, and have neighbors, but not a house can be seen from my yard. Love it.

The title of this thread ....what is it again?

Ya know if I were to guess, this man sounded like he was irritated with his sister and how she junked up the property and that they had some sort of history and then saw you and figured, Oh my Gosh, Here we go again... So he came over with a bull dozer to pull a weed. You get more bees with honey than vinigar and he obviously could care less about your being friends. I would ask your city or town ordinance to tell you what you can do on your property as far as time alloted for clean up on a barely visisble part of your lot? So that in the future you have a response or you could set him straight if need be. Better in writing or your DH handling it. I would also find out if he can come over there with his dogs in tow to intimidate you in the future, with no fencing there?