What ever happened to "Love thy Neighbor"?

*yanks out hair*

A bit of help here.

A little bit of a background:

I live on a dead end road that my entire inlaws live on. *sigh* That should say it all right there... Well I live next to my husbands cousin and my line goes kinda awkward. (at angles)

Well we have been clearing trees out and I have started me a brush pile until we get all the trees down. I thought I had it on my side of the land, but I didn't. I didn't realize because the land is shaped so odd. I wasn't going to leave the brush pile, I was just not going to rent a wood chipper until I could do it all at once.

Well my lovely neighbor comes over today and gets extremely rude with me saying that it better not be a permanent location, after I told him I was just putting it there until I could get a wood chipper. That I thought I put it on my side of the land. (Honest mistake!) But he was still very rude about it (he even brought over his boxer I guess for backup, like 3 toddlers and a stay at home mom who weighs 130lbs was going to jump on him or something.) I had even said the previous owner (his sister) had put up all her limbs on the property and I was going back and cleaning it up. He said "I really don't care what she did, but I want that stuff gone that you have piled up. I don't appreciate you pushing it on my property/" Again! Honest mistake!! I thought it was all on my line. *sigh* It wouldn't have been so bad if his land wasn't so destroyed with underbrush. You can't even see our house from his, or his house from our house from the tree graveyard on his side of his property.

So, I got ill after he left, and am sitting here needing opinions. A fence is definately going up, but what can I do for privacy? I want something that will grow in part shade (dappled sunlight) that will cover a fence all around the house. I do not want to even look at his land due to the fact that I can't even clean up right outside my property line anymore (this guy leaves dead trees all over the place, at least mine was in a brush pile)

So any suggestions for privacy? I have thought about leyland cypress, or tea olives. Something that is thick and will grow pretty tall, yet be beautiful to look at. Heck at least I can raise my property value from blocking out the view of his...

I can sympathise with problem neighbors, especially if related. "Good fences make good neighbors"? Good luck. Frank

*grins* I honestly believe that statement now. No wonder my parents always had woven wire fences around thier property!

It just killed me, he could have been polite about it, or waited until my husband came home to talk about it. But I felt literally threatened and made to fell I had committed a horrendous crime. I mean he could have had a little class in discussing with me about it. Definately going to plot out a pretty garden to block out the view.

Dad said that jealousy turns people against you quicker than a snake will turn on you. (guess its because I bust my tail outside all the time, and people on this road fit the "your're a reckneck if you mow the grass and find a car" description.

(I know, thats horrid, but HE STARTED IT! lol)

i am evil I think.

I will be getting my underbrush off his land...at 7:30 in the morning with a chainsaw. "oops! did I wake you up? Sorry just doing what you asked!"

Should have been polite about asking instead of rude!

do you have a recent survey of the yard? I'd hate to have you put up a fence, only to realize that youre a 1/2 inch on his property.
love the idea of chainsawing at 730, lol

Good luck with this Magwar...... I live on a dead end road NO neighbors on it ...... WHEW..... I don't own all the land and my biggest fear is someone will buy and build next to me..... Comments from others are hard to take..... especially when they can see your yard isn't filled with brush piles, that you are trying to clean things up ...... and even worse when their yard IS a mess........ Hope it all works out ..... I'd be revving up that chainsaw EVERY morning.....

lol I just took a break, I have been singing that 7 dwarf song "whistle while you work" as loud as I can. I can't help but smile. Too much negativity in the world as it is.

MSJEN: The property markers are still up, I am about to go get some drinks and some survey tape. At least the yard is in a straight angle. As soon as I get my brush pile up, I am taking the hot pink florescent tape and tying it to each end of the survey markers. I have no qualms about it. Now I know why the previous owner did the same thing. I just didn't think my inlaws would be THAT bad.

Vs71099: I can understand why you would be worried about that. And yeah it was hard to take. It grated on my nerves because I work so hard to keep this yard neat and clean, and his is a trash pile, YET I am in the wrong. *shakes head*

Time to go fire up the chain saw again!

7:30 is kinda late isnt it? I woulda started absolutly no later than 7. Maybe you could act like you cant see him very well when he comes over to complain and kinda accidentaly aim it around his direction.
I agree a little class on his part would have made a world of difference and I like your idea of a fence much better than what my DH did, check it out...............

We like our other neighbors much better....

LOL He literally blocked the view! My DH would do that if I would let him!

LOL, I gave in, I let him because his truck is under the tarp under the tent, its got a big whole in the hood to acomadate(sp?) the air filter, Ill probrably have to go take a pic so you understand why he dosnt want it out in the weather. I had plans to put something on that side of the driveway but wasnt sure what and I couldnt come up with a reasonable excuse in his mind as to why not. Now to me this makes it look like one of those places where you find cars when you mow the grass, LOL.

Welp got everything off his land today. And its florescent orange that is marking off the property now lol. I am happy. Now tommorrow to get rid of all the underbrush. Yipp....ee.....

Well I have a challenging shade only fence I am covering it( bought today so unsure) with Green Mountain boxwood. My fence is only 6ft so it will work for me. Sorry about you ucky neighbors. I live in downtown Chi-town. 5 homes touch my yard. Talk about close!

Its good that the survey markers are still up.
So did he come out bright and early to see what the ruckus was? Maybe tomorrow bring a portable cd player and play barney for your kids while you work.

My neighbor sometimes blasts that "soft rock" at us so she gets it back with gigawatts of Rob Zombie. She is quiet after that. "PEACE, through superior firepower"

ROFL this is sooo funny! Mag try some clinging or climbing jenny (not sure what it's called but one of those two) I have it on my back fence and it is a solid wall of green.

BTW you should have called his Momma. She might not have cared but she might just chew him out cause she was "bothered" about it. Worse yet drop a bee in GRANDMA'S ear!

LOL araness...you read my mind!!! I'm a southern gal also and understand about telling Momma and Grandma!!!! Even bigmouth louts understand they would rather face the law than Momma! I think Magwar has handled it real good, bless her little heart!
Pati

For the most part our neighbors are nice, but the people right behind us (we share an alley) have a delapadated fence and NEVER mow the back yard. There is also an old car back there- my husband and dad are just sick over that part. Apparently it's a pretty cool old car, but it just sits in the yard with weeds all over. Then they only trim the massive amount of hedges and junk they have when it covers the sidewalk. We have bulk trash pick up once a month if you put it curbside. But oh no. They but it IN THE ALLEY where the City can't/won't pick it up. The thing is, I live in a historic district so we have city code AND historic ordinances. I just called and reported them once a week until something happened. Well the brush is gone, the car is actually running now, they painted the house, the weeds are at least mowed and she took those heinous silk floresent flowers off the front porch.

Their neighbors are even better. They dug a hole to roast a pig IN THE GROUND in the alley! Then they cranked up the Kareoke machine which was used in between playing an album which I think was "one hit wonders of the 1980s." Awful! Well I thought it was a one time thing, but turns out this was to be a Sunday event. So we started calling on them too. Not a party since.

Everyone else around us is great but we are lucky. Several streets over this woman let her grandson who was a gangbanger (16 years old) move in. Well people were driving by SHOOTING AT HIM and stray bullets were going in the windows of neighbor's houses. Talk about scary. The neighbors banned together though and the cops worked with them. It took a few months but the punk is in jail. Apparently he turned 17 during all of this so he stopped going to juvie and went to big boy jail for a while. Oddly enough, his 19 year old sister also lives there with her 2 small children but the grandmother wouldn't kick him out? Crazy people!

I think when they wrote "love thy neighbor" in the good book, they weren't thinking about present day society where even if you are in the country, odds are you have someone living kind of close by. My in-laws live so far out that they don't have a street address, but they have neighbors. It's like living next to Sanford and Son. :)

Magwar, I hope you get it all resolved! Build that fence girl!

texasgarden: I don't blame you for sticking to the code, shoot I wish we had codes here. I am about sick of all the icky yards that have about 10 broke down lawnmowers parked out front. =(

I am definately building that fence, my DH and I are going to work on getting more underbrush out tommorrow. Trimmed my hedges today so that I could take a break lol.

I wanted to call his mother, but she doesn't get along too well with anyone either =/ * (its my husbands fathers sisters grandson....and the father and sister don't get along with each other, so there fore the sisters family has no use for my father inlaws family....did I confuse you all?? lol)

Not confused, but it sure makes me appreciate MY family & neighbors all the more!

LOL!

Nancy

Well gardenwife, let's just take it even further... I think the whole verse is "love thy neighbor as thyself." Well, what if you are one of those self-loathing Dr. Phil candidates? Can you HATE everyone else too?! Hmmmm!!! :) Or we could just go with the Louise Beal quotes- "Love thy neighbor as thyself, but choose your neighborhood." Ha!

Magwar, sound like quite a mess over there! Build that fence tall and thick with lots of vines growing on it!!!!




Jamie

I wanted to call his mother, but she doesn't get along too well with anyone either =/ * (its my husbands fathers sisters grandson....and the father and sister don't get along with each other, so there fore the sisters family has no use for my father inlaws family....did I confuse you all?? lol)

Nope I'm southern enough to understand that...which is kinda scary. *G*

well drats my quote thingie didn't work? Isn't it * ?* (minus the *'s)

A set of new neighbors moved in 2 years ago. They then put one of those basketball goals on at the curb so the street is the court and the street is barely 2 lanes which makes my curb the freethrow or throw in line. City initially said they couldn't do it and would send out an inspector but later told me it would be a civil issue and I'd have to sue to get it moved. Parents want to get confrontational when I kept suggesting to the kids they go to the BIG field at the end of the court (1/2 block away maybe). On one visit the dad said if he put the goal along the driveway like the rest of the city, he'd have to move vehicles everytime they wanted to play and the vehicles would could get hit. Huh?

Temporary solution to discourage stepping into that part of the yard or letting the ball get away... I moved 3 extremely thorny roses that was supposed to be Autumn Damask but only blooms in the spring. Almost puts blackberry bushes shame they way they can reach out and grab you.

Wait, the father said the vehicles would get hit? What about the CHILDREN?! He doesn't care if his kids play in the street?

Yep "His" vehicles would get hit. I knew it was a lost cause but I soooo wanted to explain to him that that was EXACTLY one of the reasons I didn't want them playing in the street in front of my driveway. We were talking before then and the wife would come over and bend my ear about all the events where she works. The short story there was someone was always trying to get over one her and some how it always led back to being racially motivated. Hence... I'm hesitant in pushing this issue, fully expecting them to try and play the race card.

people- go figure. It takes all sorts to make the world go round, but too bad there aren't fewer of these neighbors. It's unfortunate when neighbors create problems. I remember when my kids were little a neighbor got upset because my 8 and 10 year old walked on his property even though it kept them off the street, away from traffic. When we were first married and the baby was sleeping, I had a neighbor who blasted the stereo. When DH and I brought it to there attention they raised it more. Did you ever hear of the saying "Kill them with kindness", you can catch more bees with honey then vinegar", "love others as you would love yourself", the list goes on and on. Well anyway.
I made brownies, brought them over, complimented the band that was playing and complained the baby cried all night. I think someone felt guilty because the stereo volume went down. I watch the news and get depressed with all the negative reports. It's sad when something like hearing a story about a dog you that takes a human baby that it found in a plastic bag. The dog brought it back to it's litter to care for. Someone found the dog and brought the baby to the authorities. Animals treat people better then we treat each other. Too many people think only of themselves, even amongst their own families. It's unusual to see curtiousness, or politeness like an "excuse me" or someone keeping the door open when your next in line. It's refreshing to see a person (not just a man) letting someone go first.
Sometimes I think alot of this technology we've acheived is destroying the way people are. The kids see violence and sex whether it's on TV or video games and act on them. They don't play outside like they use to because it isn't safe. This is our future?

I agree.
It's a sad situation.
"Kill 'em with kindness" is a favorite of mine but nothing works for ever and some just keep taking and expect everyone to always be giving to them.
Before the goal issue came up, I helped them move in; took over a couple of welcome-houseplants; ended up helping another neighbor move 6yards of wetsand from their driveway to the back of the house a wheelbarrow at a time while the man had conveniently left the day they had it delivered. Wouldn't mind but never even got a 'Thank you'; let the young girl come pick raspberries and gave bags of nectarines when asked but never a kind word from Mom and the next thing I'd hear is the girl's mouth about stupid grass and flowers and she'll run wherever she likes.
Awww well, maybe I'll just fill my front yard with conifers since the "Christmas trees" irritate the lady so much.

Whatcha doin' here posy?

Life is way too short to go through all this with our fellow man. It's a shame and I feel for you. This big ol' world gets real tight at times.........
Hap

The neighbors that my tent carport is blocking I tried for about a year to help them get along with the other neighbors. But they were very sensitive about anything they even thought was directed at them. The last straw was when the mom tried to get my then 14 year old DD to fight her( the woman swore DD threatend her non stop barking dog when DD had never said a word, on purpose). At that point I was done being the diplomat, I couldnt believe she went that far. So ever since Ive stopped talking to her its been really peacefull around here, LOL. Everyone else on this street is great and I would help any of them in a minute.
I think I got realy lucky when I moved here.

gabagoo: Glad I didn't confuse you =D

texasgarden: Hee hee plan on it.

araness: lol I thought I would surely confuse yall.

8ftbed: oooh, I can imagine it would get you ill on that. Especially if they are trampling in your yard while playing. That would irritate me. I would be more concerned about the kids rather than the cars. And on the racial issue, thats sad to use that excuse constantly to get your way. Honest racism is a horrible thing, but when you can't even slightly voice your opinion because of the threat of that, its a sad state. Not everything is racist. And alot of the times, race has absolutely nothing to do with it.

jordung: you are absolutely right. I try to give respect to everyone, and be kind to everyone. But once I get either trashed or talked about, I have no use and would much rather be alone. I will help out anyone if given the chance. (IE: Repaired my BIL's dump trailer, got trashed because I bought new tires for it and ended up buying my own dump trailer so I wouldn't be bothering him all the time to borrow his, repaired my MIL&FIL's Massey Furgeson 255 antique tractor when my SIL tore it up and left it to rust {painted it, pressurewashed it, put on the fenders and have it like brand new} then my brother in law runs his mouth how "We better not think it is ours...." Fixed my MIL&FIL's lawnmower, Tiller, hedge trimmer, etc) Yet...I am talked about how I will run my husband into the ground, etc etc...SO I gave up and ignore everyone.... Its a sad sad state of affairs, I used to remember the south as very friendly and would give the shirt off your back, its slowly changing to Greed....

8ftbed: LOL at least I am not alone....I don't feel so bad now...

Happy_1: I Completely agree

Dravencat: my DH wants what your DH put up lol, cept all around the house!!

LOL all around the house. thats alot of tarp.
Magwar, your relatives sound like my MIL, no matter what I did I was being selfish and superficial and the worst thing that could have ever happend to her son. The fact that because of me he started working as a mechanic like he wanted to instead of dead end jobs, now works for mercedes benz and stopped doing all the totaly stupid things he used to do dosnt mean a thing. I finaly got tired of trying to be nice to her and started giving her attitude right back and then ignoring her even when she was staniding right in front of me. She still dosnt like me at all but she is very very nice when we do have to see each other. Thirteen years of snide remarks and making up stories about me and what not can wear down on ya. Thank the Lord DH understands and supports me on this, the only thing he asks is I can finsish something she starts but I cant start anything, no problem there, never have before why should I start now, LOL.
Ah life is good when you have a tall fence.

"remember the south as very friendly and would give the shirt off your back"

It still is Magwar. I feel so sorry that you have to live with family that seem to qualify as being trash. *sigh*. At least your DH seems to be the "pick of the litter" and gives you support.

It may never get any better, but at least you have the satisfaction of having done right by them. After this, when they get under your skin, just consider the source and it won't seem important enough to get to you. You'll always know you're better than they are....and they probably know it too!!!
Pati

Maybe thats why they are so ill at me and consider me "weathly?" lol I hope so. I just don't understand what the whole deal is. Its a messed up situation, and I plan on staying out of it. I just wish I lived near my parents now =(

Sneak over to the guys property some night, when the moon is hidden, and take your pesticide sprayer with you. You can figure out the rest LOL! It will give him something else to do instead of watching your moves all of the time!

J

Well, Being from the south and from a large family I learned at a young age to turn on the iggy button. Put up a barrier, fence, flowers etc. and don't worry about it. Lifes to short!!!!!!! My favorite saying is: Ignorance is bliss: And there are some mighty "blissful"people out there. Hang in there!!!!!!

I haven't read this whole thread, but I think you quite possibly have someone who is not quite stable as a neighbor....Caution suggested.
The quickest growing tree I have is hybrid willows, which grow tall in just a few years. They don't have runners, and aren't a nuisance unless you plant them where you don't want them...They are very easy to propagate if you put a cut branch into the ground in the spring and keep it watered faithfully the first summer. I like them because they have a lot of branches to use for twig weaving projects.

Maybe you should inquire about this person from other neighbors???

Magwar, you made me laugh when you wrote "its my husbands fathers sisters grandson....and the father and sister don't get along with each other, so there fore the sisters family has no use for my father inlaws family". Sounds like a great Jerry Springer show!