Jeff Foxworthy's Version of Michigan......

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Jeff Foxworthy's Version of Michigan

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Michigan

If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because Pelston is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Michigan

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March,you might live in Michigan

If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the year, you might live in Michigan.

If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, you might live in Michigan

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Michigan

If you have worn shorts and a coat at the same time, you might live in Michigan (Been there, done that)

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Michigan

If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Michigan

You know you're a true MICHIGANDER when.............;

1. Vacation means going up north on I-75.

2 . You measure distance in hours.

3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.

4. You often switch from heat to air in the same day.

5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.

6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events.

7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.

9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

11. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction. (Amen)

12. You can identify a southern or eastern accent.

13. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.

14. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.

15. Down South to you means Ohio

16. A brat is something you eat.

17. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed.

18. You go out to fish fry every Friday.

19. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.

20. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

21. You find 0 degrees a little chilly.

22. You drink pop and bake with soda.

23. Your doctor tells you to drink Vernors and you know it's not medicine.

24. You know what a Yooper is.

25. You think owning a Honda is Un-American.

26. You know that UP is a place not a direction

27. You know it's possible to live in a thumb.

28. You understand that when visiting Detroit, the best thing to wear is a Kevlar vest.

29. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Michigan friends.

This would fit Minnesota with a name change here & there.
I don't know about you Michigan people, but I'm proud of all those sayings!
Bernie

CGs, I agree. I always heard International Falls had the rep. on coldest weather. I liked the one about southern or eastern accents. I see Hollywoods idea of a downeast accent and gag. I thought "Fargo" was a neat movie. How did the accents go down with you guys? Frank

Dori, I can understand and relate to each of those except I don't know what Vernors or a Yooper is?

The Fargo movie....,,,,,,.......nope, not gonna go there. I'm glad you enjoyed it though.

Joan vernors=gingerale i always drink it when i have a upset tummy!
Yooper= someone living in the UP! LOL
I figured these related to all of us COLD states!

***I like the July 4th one-cuz so many times we have had to take our coats and wear Jeans to the fireworks

Yeah, but it beats fighting off mosquitoes!

It's actually snowing here today.

I still understand them all but i but i'll stay in the ozarks i've been where there is winter spring summer & fall to long seen snow twice this year for half a day each time

Ah, It'll get you one of these days!
Bernie

I dunno y'all. It was 58 here today and we're all wearing parkas, scarves, toboggins and gloves. If it's any colder tomorrow I might put my snow chains in my trunk just in case :>) We have seen snow once this year and it lasted too - almost 24 hours! Love from Allen, TX

It's 35º here right now. We are headed for a record high today, around 60º.
You can drive right up I-35 to get here. When you hit MN, it's take a left, go 60 miles and you are in our yard. We will be grilling out at about 6 o'clock! LOL!
Bernie

omg 60today in MN we are headed for a high of 41! maybe 48 by sunday!!!
but then it will plunge to the 20s again!!!!

oh Bernie you are grilling out!!!! yummmmmy sounds like a grand day there!
I sat in the GH yesterday where it was a nice 78 degrees-come on spring!

We got to 64º at about 4PM. Nice!
No grilling, I was imformed, after being in 3 different towns today, gas tank on grill is empty. We are heading for a local eat joint instead.

They are forcasting snow here on Sunday, high of 20º. Oh well.
Bernie