why are people so quick to assume the worst of others?

why are people so quick to assume the worst of people?

When I got on the computer today,... i expected to have mail or see a post or two asking...anybody seen Dixiechick? or something along those lines...NEVER did I expect to read such rude and threatening mail!

After posting on Sept 18th http://davesgarden.com/forums/t/457595/ ( and contact thru email ) I was having trouble getting the open trades out to the few people i owe.
I ask openly for those folks to please hang in there and I'd make good my end of the trade. I gave NO endless line of excuses or repeated promises.
just that things were not good after Frances & Ivan and some pics of my twisted plants.

Most have been wonderful about my troubles and know i'll make it good ASAP, But there are a couple who have me just stumped at there actions. LIFE DOES HAPPEN and I'm praying nothing ever happens to these people keeping them from getting there trade out.


On Oct 1st my DH & I were traveling from his parents home (had been helping clean up downed trees from Ivan) when a deer jumped in front of us. Yep, It was bad, DH was in ICU for 3 days, he's coming home tomorrow (i hope) he got the worst part.... the deer hoof's! Took many stitches and a lot of prayers to pull him thru.

Thank you God for allowing me to keep my DH

I was much more lucky than he, I'll be having surgery the end of this month to fix the biceps anchor in my shoulder (torn from the bone). waiting till DH can recover a little more as I'll be one handed for 6 to 8 weeks after surgery..(I'm gonna hate that)

Anyway, I just came here to let folks know I hadn't forgot them and to ask for a few extra prayers. I always felt folks here were so kind and caring and hoped I could some how find strength from my friends here.

I just don't get it, If someone owed me a trade, I'd have to ask myself and others some questions before I sent such rude & nasty emails.

But, thats just my opinion

Please pray for my family

Hugs, Carol

OH MY Gosh dixiechick I'm so sorry for all you are going thru....... Ivan, the deer, your dear DH and your own injuries. Don't write off all humans.... but if you need to vent about them you go ahead -- I'll listen (or read being email) ....... Wish I were closer to AL to offer personal assistance but know that your are in my thoughts and prayers...... take care of you and DH.

Oh wow dixiechick. I'm sorry to hear about your accident. I hope your DH can come home tomorrow. ((hugs)). Take it easy.

vs71099, Thank you for your thoughts and prayers...they are much needed and appreciated..

Hugs, Carol

It's a shame people jump to conclusions like they do, and do not allow someone the benefit of the doubt. Sorry you had to come back online only to find people tearing into you. I hope you and your husband mend well.

Dixiechick, I hope everyone heals well. I'm so sorry that this happened to you. Hopefully everyone will mend and others will realize that [deleted] happens! It happened to you and I hope everyone heals quickly!! Hopefully, you've been through a [deleted] time and everything now will be good times!
Bonnie

I am so very sorry that you have been through so much and then received rude remarks from some people. You have every right to be upset, anyone would be!!! You and your husband will be in our thoughts and prayers.

Meanwhile, are there any trades I can finish off for you, to get the situation resolved? IF you owe I'll be glad to repay them from anything I have.

Judy

Carol, I'd be curious to know if those offenders are subscribers, or just members? (Not WHO they are.) Doesn't sound like anything any of our regulars would do... I hope.

Carol, wishing you and DH the best and total healing. You folks have taken a beating... Hugs to you.

So sorry to hear this! Take care of your family FIRST, always!

Didn't I meet you at the GA RU? You seemed like a regular in good esteem so when I saw the thread about you, I wondered if they weren't jumping to conclusions too soon.
So sorry you are having a bad time. I hope the worst is over. Is there anything we can do?

Bonnie, thank you for the good times ahead reminder..i think i needed that...I know there must be great times and things ahead for me & my family...thank's so much for reminding me..:-)

Judy, thats such a wonderful and sweet thing to offer to do for me, and to think you don't even know me. ((((((((((((((((((Judy))))))))))))))))))))

thank you! thank you! thank you!
But,
My DD will be helping me go thru the mail and get my trades out, it will take a few weeks I'm sure (money is tight right now) But I know we'll make it thru this and oneday laugh about it ( I hope ) she's such a blessing to me now for sure, as she will be my extra hands for sometime to come.

Hugs,Carol

carol people just dont realize things happen in life and we have NO control over!
I have learned to be patient-after my first puter died i was paniced trying to find ways to get messages to people and then there was the ebay thing! in the middle of bidding and you have 3days to pay and oh what could i do!!!

Im really sorry about all your troubles and im praying that everything gets better for you n yours!!!

In time they may all learn about "real life" beyond cyber space!!! :)
((((((((((((((carol))))))))))))))

Dear Carol, my heart goes out to you and your family!!! I'm so sorry to hear what happened, Ya life happens doesn't it, I hope the 2 of you get better real soon, if there is anything I or others can do for you, I think you have too much to handle right now to have to deal with trades!!!!! Let us know what We could ship out for you, I posted on another tread about how I felt about people at Dave's who go so crazy because someone is late, most of us probably have reasons, and are not ignoring others, and I don't think it matters whether you're a member or not, a very few bad apples have upset many, take life easy, it could happen to you! Bless you, take care of your immediate needs and take care of the other stuff later when you're well :) :))))))) and I don't even know you either, Sending you a bouquet, Annie

so sorry you had such a bad accident and your husband was hurt badly. prayers for healing be home with you and your surgery goes well healing... so sorry someone was rude to you to.. blessings prayers... Twyla

Dixie,
Sorry that you went through what you did.
Unless someone has been through a Hurricane, they have no concept of the destruction that they do. I cant possibly imagine your state of mind after going through 2 of them back to back.
Keep your chin up, this too shall pass.
Jen

Dixie, I hope that things get better for you. I was so sorry to hear of all your dilemmas. Geez, when it rains, it pours. It is easy to assume things when we type and each one perceives things differently. Know that most at DG are caring, giving, loving people and we hate that you are going through this.

Take care of yourself and if there is anything that we can do, please don't hesitate to ask. God Bless, Kathy :)

Carol, so thankful you were both spared! Missed your posts and were wondering where you were. Keep your chin up, your smile on and greet a new day!! It will get better!!!!!!

This message was edited Oct 12, 2004 9:44 AM

Carol!
So glad to see you posting! I haven't been around too much either, but did miss seeing your posts on the hosta forum the little time I've had to "check in". I know how bad those hurricanes were, I volunteered with FEMA last month and have been working about 65 hours a week for them. Poor FL has been devistated and many people in AL lost a lot more than power!!! On top of that, many others were hit by 10" rain, mudslides, flooding and tornadoes, all up the east coast. One even touched down at the nursery I work for when Ivan came up the coast :( I hope the damage at your place was minimal.

Even if you hadn't been hit by the canes... some people just don't give the benefit of the doubt. As we ALL know... sometimes life does get in the way. Life is too short to sweat the small stuff.

Hope your DH mends quickly and your own surgery goes well. On the bright side... At least the gardening season is about over and you'll have all winter to recuperate to be ready for spring :)

If there is anything I can do, don't hesitate to drop me a note! I was flooded last fall from hurricane Isabel and certainly can relate to "life getting in the way"!

Big Hugs!!!

So sorry to hear of your accident on top of everything else. Take care of yourself and family first every thing left over will fall in place. Hope you all mend quick.
oriole

Sending many hugs your way. Wishing you both a quick recovery.

Carol, I'm so sorry that a few people were rude to you. As others have alread posted I too will be glad to help with your trades.

Ruth

Carol my prayers go out to you and family, Just dont give up on the good of all the rest because someone was thoughtless, it hurts to receive mail like that, but like the rest of us your family comes first.

Dixiechick, I don't know where these people live, but they obviously have no idea of the mess and stress after a hurricane! I admire you for even careing about getting out trades when there is so much to do just getting your life back in order. Then to have such a terrible accident to deal with. My prayers and admiration are with you!

When my feelings used to get hurt at a rude or unkind remark, my Mother used to say "Just consider the source". That usually places the rude person in the proper perspective! They need to get a life and get over themselves!!
Pati

As always, there are two sides. I've now seen both sides and I think this thread is counter-productive. Dixiechick, please keep this dirty laundry in private email where it belongs. I know that the two people who left you negative feedback would love nothing more than to just hear a reply to their emails they sent you.

Dave

Dave, you are right about not airing dirty laundry. point taken

At the time of my posts about this I had not even read the neg. feedback post on my DG page. I had no idea anyones name other than mine was available. I ment no harm to anyone's name here at DG's. I only wanted to make a point that folks are much to fast to judge others. I had been in contact with both of these trades thru email privately, they new of my problems after the storms.

I didnt send email to them last night because I was upset and hurt over this whole thing and didnt want to speak out of anger.

I again, ment no harm to anyones name here at DG's but, felt I had the right to protect mine.
if im wrong in doing so ... i'm sorry

Carol

Carol, I've never traded with you...My deepest sympathies for the accident you experienced on October 1st. Life does happen and situations get in the way. There are always 2 sides to every story. But we also must not insult peoples intelligence. I know a few houses that were blown away with the recent storms. Hopefully this has not happened to you. There are always 2 sides to every story. I recently was without a computer for a week. But my sister has a computer and also ALL Public Libraries. During that time.. I went to the Library to access Daves Garden to stay on top of my trades. Also to check my AOL email. This is just a little tip for not only you but anyone that has computer (access) problems. Which I have heard as a reason for not responding or completing a trade. I hope for a full recovery for you and your Husband.
Warmest Regards,
Kim