Is it rude or is it just me???

Is it just me or is it rude to ignore people who post on 'your' threads? I have posted on a couple threads where people have asked for trades.....not only have my posts been ignored but so have my direct emails to these members.
Now I do understand that not everyone will be friendly with everyone else.....but shouldn't common courtesy dictate an acknowledgment?
A simple 'thanks but no thanks'..............................

I'd respond, but I'm ignoring you.

Unfortunately, common courtesy has become a lot less common, and I don't see a turn around in sight.

Off topic, but I used to live on Factory Ave in Renton, WA.

Chris

:-) Thanks for posting Chris.
Renton is a nice place....growing bigger every year. Florida is probably better though...........

I try to reply or post to all, I lost one for a couple of days, with the new format; but really would like to know where I stand in regards to trades and inquiries.

Yeah, it's nice when people respond so you can take them off your list. I was so confused with all of the back and forth that I added a "pending" list so nothing would fall through the cracks. Tough having things up-in-the-air, though. If they're not interested it would be nice to know so you could just move on.

Happens to me, too.....thinking its just rude..or not being part of the group...or both

Or terribly, terribly confused and busy going through responses! But still a note acknowledging you and saying you'll get back to the person when you have your trades established.

I would have dismissed it as just busy, or confussed if it weren't for these same people answering others posts on their threads...........just not mine.
I'll just chaulk it up to personallity clash and release it.
Thanks for the replies everyone. :-)

Your decision is wise!!!

Gosh i hope i havent ignored anyone. but now we have the in house email system i know i will get the emails from here.

i try to reply to all. i think if you get an email then you should respond to it. people have lives and waiting for responses imho is time consumming where others are willing to have the same things.

I am ignored sometimes too but then I'm not great at keeping up with threads and I can't search for my membername, I should perhaps watch threads more often but I don't. I'm always open to people sending me a nudge via email or other thread and never intentionally ignore a member even if they intentionally ignore me :) Life's too short to worry about it.

I do have a problem understanding the language differences sometimes which will stop me from replying if I don't quite get the gist.

I hope I have not ignored anyone on a public forum. E-mail too. I agree with you Rikerbear.

It's funny, but everytime I see a thread like this, I have the urge to rush back to my email Inbox to see if I've missed someone! Guilt is so easy to absorb! The new member to member email has made the whole process easier for me, but I'm sure I've let someone fall through the cracks.

I think it is really important to 'Watch' a thread in which I've participated. It is seldom I 'Unwatch'. In fact, I only do that when I have not become part of the conversation (no response) or the conversation has drifted way out of my line of interest.

Of course, it's all a matter of personal preference, but when it comes to ones own threads, I think it is very disconcerting to others when they post to a thread and the original poster never comes back. I hope hitting the 'Watch' button is part of the new member introduction.

Took me a while to realize how important that was. I KNOW I've missed a few from the early days! Hope they understand Newbie-itis! I think the "watch thread" and "trade tracker" are so helpful for those of us who get confused easily!

Yes, I believe it's rude but some folks were raised without any manners. I try to respond to emails and/or posts even if it's just "Thanks" to acknowledge the other person.

There is a wonderful custom around here, which is 90% small back roads. People in most of the oncoming cars will raise a finger just in acknowledgement that they are passing another human.

Baa, why can't you search for your member name?

This message was edited Oct 11, 2004 10:04 PM

Courtesy is very important; we all make mistakes and we do have a lot of new members. If courtesy is not shown, I believe these people will be passed over and not taken seriously.

What about people who don't acknowledge when they receive a trade? Even after after send them an email request. It's not like I'm even looking for their end of it - it's not like I NEED any more plants. Before I joined DG I thought I had too many! HA! Now its need, need, need...

Sequee, I always ask for confirmation that seeds I send have been received. When I can take the time, I go over my seed trade data, and if I find I haven't heard from them, I send an email to ask. I'm guilty of getting busy and not letting someone I've received seeds, so I can't get too judgemental about that.

I'll probably try to contact them a couple times by email, and if I don't get a response within a week or two, their file goes into my 'Unsatisfactory Trades' folder. That sounds pretty rude, but I'm only taking about free seeds I send folks, not actual trades. If the only investment I ask from someone requesting seeds is to let me know they got them, and that is too much trouble, then it seems pretty unsatisfactory to me.

You are right. It IS rude. But with so many nice apples in the basket, I would say just throw the rotten ones overboard and ignore them. I have been at DG's just a short time, but have been very pleasantly surprised by how nice and friendly everyone is. I never expected to find such a large group of wonderful folks in one spot. Hope you have a wondeful day,

Starr

Darius, it's because it's under 4 letters.

I think this email system will make it a bit easier for me, email accounts have their little foibles and from discussions I've had it seems there have been a lot of times I've simply not got the email or the email I've sent hasn't reached it's destination. Doesn't help in the fora and I don't watch threads as a rule because I might have time to read but no time to answer (by which time the notification disappears and it may take me a while to get back to it)

Marc...I'll respond to your reply in my threads. I'll even respond to you in someone else's thread, if I see it. :-D

Seriously, I know what you're talking about and it's happened to me a couple of times too. At first it bothered me a little to feel like I was an outsider...but I got over it, started a couple of my own threads, made some really great friends, and I try really hard not to make people feel the way I did.

For the most part, the people on DG are terrific people and they aren't actually ignoring us. And then again, maybe you and I *are* being ignored! (just kidding with ya, again.)

~julie~

I didn't mean to be complaining - I LOVE it here and have been having a great time. I know I tend to be super-sensitive, so I like to hear other peoples thoughts. Like you said, the good people SO far outweigh the rudies! (And, now I'm feeling guilty because I went back through the person's threads and he/she hasn't posted in a while - eeek. Don't need none of that bad karma comin' my way!)

Again RB - sorry for for hijackin' your thread ~8-()

I don't have any trades but I look at my mail first thing every day, and if I am lucky to have one I answer right away. no mail again today *S*

Having no mail is like Nobody's Home...

Me, I feel like sometimes I OVER answer people b/c I so badly don't want to offend anyone. Course that can become annoying in itself too I guess!

kareoke, You have mail !

ncgardenaddict, I don't think you can 'over' answer someone here at this site. It is a very special place, filled with special folks that come together and celebrate their love of gardening (and life). Try not to overanalyze yourself... just be you and that will be great...

rikerbear, I hope this thread will alert those who may be lacking in communication skills, that a simple response to an enquiry is the courteous thing to do.

Happy Gardening!

Starr

rikerbear? knock, knock, knock ...Are you in there? ;-)

~julie~

rikerbear? knock, knock, knock ...Are you in there? ;-)

~julie~
Edited to add: I he's ignoring me...lol

Thanks Starr! Like many I do have a tendency to overanalyze everything!!! Esp myself!

No Julie not ignoring you....promise. :-)
I guess as with anything in llife you just can't please or be liked by everyone. I'm sure this is the underlying reason certain people have chosen to ignor my posts and my 'member' mail.
I have publicly posted dis-satisfaction with certain things here in 'the garden', and am sure that has upset some.
I will just dismiss this, and move on............................
Thank you all for posting your opinions and your viewpoints.

Marc
RikerBear

:-) Good!

~julie

Baa, why not have Dave change your username to Baaa? Same sound, and I doubt anyone will wonder if it's THE Baa. ;)

I think I should change mine to ARRRGGGHHH!!!!

Course if my boss knew what I do (and he might) he would change my name to FIRED! LOL

LOL @ Nicole!

~julie~

Thanks for the suggestion GW but Baa is a nickname that predates my membership here and it's not directly related to a sheep or bleats either so I don't want to change it. It's no huge problem not being able to search and it does mean that I no longer have to plough through threads with 'baaaaaaaaak' in them, so that's a plus really ... every cloud ... *G*

i was going to trade with several people, received emails that they were busy and couldn't trade. i understand that but they traded with other people after that. if they didn't want to trade in the first place, just say so. i don't post alot but i read all the forums, when i read that they traded with other dg members, i felt like an outsider and my feelings were hurt. i got over it and had to two great trades since.

Hi rikerbear, I hope I wasn't one to ignore you...LOL. I NEVER ignore personal emails. But sometimes I don't answer every post. It really depends on the Posting. If I offer seeds for trade and they have nothing I'm interested in. I may or may not answer..But usually I try to work something out..Like offer a few of the seeds for SASE in a private email. Therefore everybody doesn't have to know I've done this.I let them know that I'm not interested but I can share the seeds. I hope my opinion help...he he he
Kim

P.S. I think some people haven't figured out to check there mail. I go to "HOME" often to see if and threads have new post and look for email.

Life's too short to get uptight over such things, folks.

A certain someone who shall remain nameless hurt my feelings when I first joined, but I got over it and now I kinda like him and look forward to his input whenever I notice that he's posted! There's no percentage in having paper-thin skin!