deciding when to leave feedback

I need help deciding when to assume someone is attempting to play "unfair".

To me a good trader sends " what they said they would-when they said they would. "
A fair/okay trader may send late but keeps in touch with "real reasons" they have not been able to send yet.

I'm rather new at Daves. Made a trade with someone who was supposed to send me something the following Monday. Thats been about 5 weeks ago now.

I want to finish my fall planting. I contacted said person the week after the supposed mailing cause I was afraid maybe it was lost in the mail.
Not so, it had not been sent-would go out that week.
Waited 2 weeks more and contacted them again- so sorry would get right to it been busy.

Contacted last week and nicely asked person to send plants, or reimburse my postage (cash, check or paypal) as I wanted to finish my fall trades. They may arrive soon but I havent seen anything yet.

I have yet to receive an answer for this except, been busy, set up too many trades, etc.
However, this person has made at least one other trade last week and completed it speedily. So unless it was prearranged, she may be too busy to send me my end but not too busy to arrange new trades !

I'm sorry folks but I am a trustworthy person, my word means something and failing bad health, computer problems, etc. I will send my part when I say or contact you with a good reason why not.

Is it time for negative feedback or am I being too pushy ! I'm honestly about %#@ off.
thanks
charlotte

Leave feedback. You can always change it later if you get your trade. It might motivate?

It is understandable that sometimes life just gets crazy and things like trades get put on a back burner. But some people are very good at creating one crisis after another and making excuses, aren't they? IMHO, five weeks is long enough to wait, especially when you have been told that it is going to be shipped, and they are in fact shipping things to other people.

My feeling is that the person should receive the appropriate feedback that they have EARNED. You may be saving someone else from being taken advantage of.

Edited for spelling, because I never could get the "i" before "e" except after "c" thing.



This message was edited Sep 18, 2004 3:31 PM

Charlotteda...IMHO, it's time for a negative remark in the trading feedback. I wrote started a thread suggesting that we might have a need for something a little less stressful when processing the feedback...something like a set of "check marks" that we could click on instead of writing words that could be taken differently from the meaning intended. I'd like to see a multiple choice list of catagories that we could use:

Physical item trades:
X - Excellent item-for-item trader
X - Good Item-for-item trader
X - Poor item-for-item trader
X - Caution - My experience with this Item-for-item trader was unacceptable

Postage/SASE Exchange/trade
X - Excellent Exchange trader
X - Good Exchange trader
X - Poor Exchange trader
X - CAUTION - My experience with this exchange trader was unacceptable

And "Excellent" rating would replace all those "very generous," "Very prompt" and "WoW" comments that I, personally, am inclined to use and still get the message across.

The "Good" rating would probably include our reactions to slow turn-around of the item or postage payment...but with a little time and explanation of the situation, the trade was completed successfully with both parties satisfied with the deal.

A "Poor" rating...(This is where I'd be sitting with your current situation) would mean that the we had to wait an inordinate amount of time, that we'd repeatedly contacted our trader and had received numerous "excuses" as to why the trade had not been completed...BUT the trade had been finalized and considered complete.

The CAUTION rating...well, that's easy! That one would mean we weren't happy with our experience and that we'd done everything in our power to close the trade. Of course that wouldn't mean that we were "bad-mouthing" the other trader...only that our own personal experience was less than satisfactory.

By using a system of check marks, it puts the person making the statements in a position where they are less likely to use words that cause MORE trouble in the long run that snowballs into an ulcer-producing situation.

Now...why do I feel this way? Because I've recently entered into a trade with someone who, I assume, is pretty new at trades and especially with how to handle plants received through the mail. I sent my part of the trade exactly as I was supposed to. I didn't hear from the person when the items were received. Naturally I worried as to whether they had been lost in the mail...they were live plants, after all. I waited a reasonable amount of time, then wrote asking if the plants had arrived and what condition they were in. Stating that if I'd done something wrong in packaging, I'd gladly resend them.

I got a reply to my email...which now I wish I'd used the Private Messaging feature instead of emailing direct. The plants *had* arrived, and they arrived in excellent condition (according to the recipient) HOWEVER...and this is the *key*...the person didn't handle them properly and they all died.

Ok...now what...who's to blame? I took the "blame" on myself because I made the assumption that the person was an experienced trader/gardener and would send their part of the trade at the same time I sent mine and would know how to handle the items at least as well as I did. Nope! Not the case.

I was dealing with a relatively inexperienced person both with trading AND with handling plants. I should have taken the time to write a "boiler plate" set of instructions to send along with my items, relieving myself of the burden of warranty. The items died because I made an "assumption." I've accepted the fact that the priority postage was just the price I paid to learn a very valuable lesson.

SO there's my case for a simplified version of the Trading Feedback page. Maybe we need a place where we can "check off" that we understand the acceptable Trading Guidelines and that we have accepted the responsibility of keeping our plant materials alive once they arrive (in a timely manner, of course :-))

Charlotteda, I'm really sorry about your experience. And I really hope it gets ironed out in a satisfactory way. But for the moment...leave at LEAST a cautionary "Neutral" note in the feedback. (" I'm still waiting" might be a good comment. ;-))

~julie~

Thanks Julie, I guess you are right :(
I hate being negative.
But I also hate feeling used.
charlotte

Hey Charlotte...I'll tell ya what, I'll send ya something and you can send me something and we can each give each other a GOOD comment in our feedback area and we'll *both* feel better. But unless you're willing to take a bunch of Dutch Iris off my hands that I ordered before I realized I'm in the wrong zone to grow them...you'll just have to settle for a coleus or two. ;-) (Chin up! Things will work out just fine.)

~julie~

I just love receiving what I call my 'happy packages'. Just got one on Saturday (which was lousy is sooo many ways) and it made my day 'all better!' Not really, but it sure did give me something to smile about! And it makes it easier to let those crummy trades slip by the wayside a lot easier. Julie -- don't I still owe you a "Happy Brick"?? >:)

Moby...don't know about that "happy brick"...but tomorrow is the day I go to "Doc's" And we'll see about one of those "happy packages" by the end of the week. ;-) NOW about the "happy brick" LOL

~julie~