TWO PEOPLE FREAKING OUT!

but definitely for very good reasons! any other grandmas to be out there? I'm shaking in my boots for the day that happens to me!

I became a grandma at 40. When I had my 40th birthday, my son came up to me and said, "Happy Birthday Grandma." Of course, I said just because I was 40 didn't mean I was a grandma yet. He said, "Ya wanna bet?" His 17-year-old wife was pregnant.
Of course, I was thrilled about being a grandma, but I didn't want to be OLD ENOUGH to be a grandma. The kid was born with the same breathing problem that Pres. & Jacquiline Kennedy's baby had, that passed away. But mine survived and is now 20 years old. I have 7 others ranging in age from 8 to 18. They are great, but another thing to worry about....

This message was edited May 15, 2004 5:29 PM

If I heard that I was to be a grandma any time soon, not only would I be freaking out, I would drop dead! ROTF My oldest is only 10. I don't want to hear the G word for about 15 years. LOL

My youngest told us last week that she will be having a Christmas baby. I am having a hard time with it, because she isn't married, not sure she wants to be, and I'm not sure I want her to be married to this particular person. She is happy about having a baby, and wants me to be. I had wanted her to find a direction for her life before she was tied down. How do I be happy for her?

It finally happened to me, at age 54. My first Grandson is one month old. It is the most marvelous feeling, that will ever come to you.

Meet: Ethan Lee

Debby, What a handsome little boy, he looks very healthy!!! Congratulations.

Terre, Both of my daughters were pregnant out of wedlock. It isn't what I had hoped for them, but it was to be. God has his plan and I guess it included grandchildren for me at an early age (41).

I told both of my daughters that however a baby comes into this world, they are a gift from God and you should cherish that gift and take the best care you can of them. God has entrusted them to you.

And then last year we lost Cameron and it puts into perspective all the things you've worried about with the others and you look at them and Thank God for them.

You will overcome the fact that she is not married. I told my girls that I would rather they didn't get married if he wasn't the one they wanted to spend the rest of their life with. One is still married (6 yrs now) and the other didn't last 2 years.

I wish you much love and luck with your upcoming bundle of joy. You will melt like butter when you hold that child in your arms.

Happy Day, Kathy

Thank you, Kathy. I KNOW I should be happy for her, and I love infants. I just know I don't feel that way. I am disappointed in myself, but I cannot make myself feel good about this. I don't have a good feeling about the father, and I'm having a REALLY hard time keeping my mouth shut. (Mouth shut when appropriate has NEVER been my strong suit.) The young man has been in trouble before with minor stuff, traffic, but he has no decent family life, no example of how to be a decent father or parent. Very different backgrounds. I am learning all sorts of nasty things about myself, because what I feel about him makes me a snob or worse.

I WILL get used to this, I just have to keep her from figuring out how I feel until I can adjust my own attitude. If I bend over would someone kick me?

When my first daughter came home and told me she was pregnant, I ran to room and cried. Then I said to myself, "you can choose to be a part of this or not." I chose to be involved and have never regretted one minute of it. As far as keeping your mouth shut.....Don't, unless you know what you say will hurt your daughter.

Our youngest daughter married a loser, major time loser, and we never hesitated to let him know he was one! It didn't make him different, but sure made us feel better, he knew exactly what ground he stood on with us. Now he thinks he can rule ME, because my daughter and the kids live with me (he kicked them out of their house by the way). Example: He had the kids one day and they were sick, I had a lot of running around to do and my daughter was at work. He called me and said that the kids were sick and he was bringing them home to me. (left this on my answering machine). I called him and said, "What? I know I didn't hear you say you were bringing those kids to me because they're sick!" He said, "Yes, I don't feel good either." I told him to get off his lazy butt and be a father. We are not parents only when the going is good and if he brought the kids to me, he would be turning right back around with them. He didn't bring them out. You just can't take their malarchy!!!

How old is your daughter? Mine was 18 when she told me! Life has not always been a bowl of cherries, but she is okay and Tory is a doll!

Like I said, you will melt. Kathy :)

Congratulations Debby - what a sweet little boy! Love his name too of course I am partial as my husband's name is Ethan Allen! He has three namesakes now and the name is becoming more popular. Your little Ethan will love gardening with you and helping Ted too! Enjoy Grandma - you now need no permission to act silly at any moment - you are a Grandparent!! Congrats to Ted too!

I love babies..... PERIOD! oh no - I have some laundry to fold, brb! hee hee... (not a grandma yet)

Iowagal: Thanks, that is so funny because I want to call him Ethan Allen, all I can think of is the furniture company by that name. My older son, calls him ELF, which are his intials. Ted calls him Ethan Elfen. I am sure he will have many more variations of the name growing up. You can tell your DH that his name is making a comeback, it is in the top 10 now of popular names for baby boys.

I was 22 when I got prego out of wedlock, the father was a big time looser. It took me 6 years of abuse and seeing him start on our one year old daughter for me to get the courage to leave. Im GLAD I didnt marry him, Im glad I had the strenght to leave and Im glad hes such a looser that I havnt seen or heard from him since she was 3. Not because he just up and left, he decided 2 years later he wanted to give her a b-day present and I finaly had the nerve to tell him exactly what I thought of him. Im also still waiting to see the present, shes 14 now. He step daddy has been there since she was 2 and did everything a daddy should do for his child and never once complained but says I"m her Dad what else would I do?
Im pretty sure my mom was heartbroken when I told her but she never left the baby out as Im sure you will be the same, she just didnt give bio father any consideration as he didnt deserve it.
Ive got some stories about this man that would curl toes, one of the worst I think is that he has two kids with his now wife and they are both scared of him and the wife dosnt seem to understand that even tho she says he loves her, that if he did he would go get a job, move out of his fathers house and be supportive and a real husband and father instead of a lazy lout who gets super mad when he cant lie his way out of something or feels like no one is catering to his every whim.
Terre- the best you can do is stand behind your daughter and as hard as it is going to be for you, dont try to tell her what to do, its not an easy situation I know but Im sure you raised her with good values and she will come around and start using them again, especialy when she see that new baby in her arms and feels the need to protect it from everything.

Ethan is a great name... my Ethan will be 14 at the end of July. :-)

Congrats Debby!!

And, since my oldest is only 15, if I were to become a grandma anytime soon I probably would NOT be a very happy camper for a while.

LOL Badseed, Think you have a ways to go! I'm 46 and have 3 grand kids, they're truly a gift! My oldest grand child will be 8 in July, my grandson will be turning 2 in Aug. already going thru those terrible 2s' and the youngest just turned 1 at the beginning of this month! Jada, my oldest LOVES coming and spending the nite at grammas, enjoy them while you can because they grow so quickly and then have a life of their own. It's amazing the things they say and do and I'm very grateful to have them! Denise