Neighbor kids on our lawn

yeah - I read that link too - what a hoot!

I just got back from town and all over I am seeing things about neighbors. :) First of all, I saw a bumper snicker that said, "To have a good neighbor, you must be a good neighbor." A little thought provoking there.....

And then after I read that I went into the post office and a woman was in there ranting how she had evicted her neighbor and she was there picking up mail and she didn't want her anywhere near her property. She said the woman owed her lots of money and left her with a garbage bill and she did not want her mail delivered to that house anymore.

Again, I counted my blessings I live in the country. I just thought it was ironic that that happened today after we've been discussing these neighbor issues.

Happy Day all, Kathy

My neighbors (who live in the slummy rental next to me) are moving out. I always panic (this is the fourth family in less than four years) because the house is so [deleted] that I'm afraid I'll get [deleted] neighbors. But they have always ended up being sweet people (three with young kids, one set of "grandparents" who we've adopted and still have a very close and loving relationship with). They are just desperate for affordable housing, no matter how [deleted].

I just met my new neighbor this afternoon (single mom AGAIN with 2 kids) and I think we'll get along great. I don't know if I'm especially needy with low self-esteem or what, but I sure want to have them be my friends! I tell them I'm a "cuppa sugar" neighbor; if they need anything, to let me know and I'll probably need an egg or something myself! She came over to see if she could use an exterior outlet to work on the "garage" (has no garage door, just a blue tarp stapled to boards...) so I loaned her my plug-in, extension cord, and my DH skill saw!

I love making new friends!

Thank you all for the great advice, I'll have to think of a way to have a talk with her mom.

For those of you who have great neighbors....count your blessings. Two years ago we were renting a house in Iowa. The landlord had the place nicely landscaped and he let us plant a veg. garden. We had a handful of kids that would ride their bikes up and down the alley but since our yard was the only one that they didn't know the owners, I guess they figured they'd make themselves home. The girls would just sit around and pluck the flower buds off the plants. The boys would throw their bikes around and would leave marks on the grass. I went out there one time and they did not flee as I expected them to. I sat next to the girl with the handful of buds and asked her if she knew what she had in her hands. She said leaves. I then went on explaining to her that those were immature flower buds and it was a shame she cut them off cause they were going to become beautiful flowers. The boys just stood there, I guess they all thought I was going to yell and rant but after that day they never did it again. I found it easier to comfront those kids because I didnot have to live next to them since they lived in the next block. This girl lives next door and I guess I was afraid that the parents would take offense and would create future problems. We'd really like to keep the peace with everyone but will try to find a way to explain it to them. I hadn't really thought about the liability issue which does make a good point.

Here is a pic of her an hour ago.

photo 2

photo 3

last but not least;

Oh!, I guess I forgot to make another point.

I guess after explaining the situation I was in, I was hoping to get an idea from you all as to wether I and DH might be over reacting to this. I was afraid you'd all say, "come on its only grass", or something like that. My guess is thats what her parents are probably thinking. Then again, the kid is a handful. Anyway, thank you all for helping me with this part. I've got some thinking to do as far as how to put it so they understand. Thanks!!,
Gemila

Gemila, Is that your grass on both sides of the driveway? If so, how about putting up some rose bushes along your driveway? That would be so pretty. If they are tall enough, I can't imagine this girl running over them. Nice grass everyone has.....:) Where are you located? Where is 5a?

Hi MM,
If you take a look at the 4th photo, she's acually on the border line of our properties. Our grass appears a bit darker than theirs because her dad just mowed it. I'll have discuss all your landscaping ideas with my DH.

We live about 20 miles south of Ft. Wayne, IN.

How frustrating... I also see the danger of someone pulling in and not seeing her. I would never let my children ride their bikes (big wheels, trikes, whatever) in parking areas... it's a hazard.

Just out of curiousity, what would you say if you saw this? (That is not a squirrel... it's a 12ish year old boy...)

Picture of the whole tree (P.S. Not his family's tree... he lives across the street, homeowners not home...)

This message was edited Apr 29, 2004 7:29 PM

I'd be scared to death...for the boy, I might have to call the parents or the police, probably the latter. It looks like ET is in the tree. :) Kathy

I had a house that was below street level. Some young boys decided that riding their bikes through my jades and down my bank was great fun. After sufficient warning, I kept the bikes for a couple of weeks. They were too scared to tell their parents that they had ridden down there again. Kept the neighborhood kids scared for awhile. That looks like a young girl who needs a litle discipline in her life.

The mom (of a couple of the boys... it was a pack of 'em) saw them when she came home... all she said, "Silly boys! Someone is going to fall!" as she walked in her house.

When my twins were very little, they were sitting in their little jumpy chairs on the front sidewalk while I cleaned the front porch. I heard somthing hitting the walk and realized the boy next door was shooting at birds with his new air rifle (or BB gun) and the shot was hitting along side of the babies. I walked along the hedge where he couldn't see me, stepped out and grabbed the gun out of his hands. I took the gun and hit it around the tree until the barrel bent and the stock split. Then I handed it back to him and told him to go home and tell his father I did this, and to come see me and I would tell him why. I think he just "lost" the gun, because we were good neighbors for years and it was never mentioned. Perhaps you think I was too severe, but my first impulse was to wrap the gun around HIM!

I think you handled it MUCH better than I would have!!!!!

Pati, That's get the award! I would've done exactly the same thing!

Hear, Hear!!
Bravo!!
Way to go!

Best quick thinking response I ever heard!

That's what I call decisive, efficient, and effective!

You didn't waste precious time thinking of how to handle it, weighing the pros and cons of your options, convening a committee to "study" the problem. You just took the appropriate action needed and solved the problem!!!

There should be a LOT more of that. You should run for Congress. You'd definitely have my vote!

That's one of those, "Gee, I wish I'd thought of that!"

I LOVE it!!!!!!!

well when you are putting my kids in danger I don't think i just act!I have had to show out several times to my end laws about stupid stuff they let my kids do, like wlk with them to the mail box or let my 3 year old drive the lawn mower what do some people think with? I set right at my winndow and watch as my MIl went to the mail boxwith my son as she got right at the edge of the road i went out and hollered ARE YOU CRAZY WHAT ARE YOU DOING TRYING TO GET MY BABY KILLED? HE DOES NOT GO TO THE ROAD FOR ANY REASON WHAT SO EVER WITH OR WITH OUT AN ADULT!!
i could tell yu so many more lets them have th e hoe, clippers, the lawn mower thing was the craziest i was recent, and he was going to let him drive it along the road ride away!!

I have kids 2 and 4... they ride the riding mower with me. I think the best idea is get the sprinkler that is motion controlled (they make them for keeping Deer out of the garden.) I have one I set out when a neighborhood dog starts useing a specific spot on my large lawn for his litter box. The kids won't get wet... If they do there wont be a second time.

Here's a good one...Just posted it in my blog (aka weblog, online journal) and thought it kinda goes with the discussion. http://gardenwife.com/mt/archives/000517.html If you can't access it, I'll copy and paste here.

GW, Love your "Plot". It's a shame your zone doesn't allow you to grow a Bouganvilla hedge. A lot of work to keep in shape, but better than ANYTHING to protect your property. I had someone that parked outside my hedge, but on my property, and played boom-box music. After a few times of this, I discovered that this was the perfect time to water my lawn! Too bad his windows were down. (LOL) Problem solved!
Pati

LOL Pati. I wish my neighbor would park where I can water the lawn. lol

You all are sinister....tee hee.......:) :) I love it. !!! Kathy

Pati I think the deviousness comes with the name. My mother's name is Pat and she often solved problems in the same fashion. I often dreaded when people did stupid thoughtless things around her because I knew the payback would be swift and sure.

One time I won't forget was at Buffalo Pound Lake. The neighboring campsite decided to stay up very late drinking with the music loud and, of course, speaking louder to be heard over it. I had a tent to myself and I remember waking up the next morning at 5:00 am, almost standing up, because my mother had turned every radio she could get her hands on up to top volume. The neighbors actually looked sheepish, and hungover, but took it very well. The young man, who I dated a few times after that, confided that they deserved it.

That little car can't have very big wheels how about just digging a nice little moat for it to get stuck in. make it a little tougher with a berm to magnify the anhle of approach and the thing will be high centered. Bring that little kid on lol Ernie

Ernie your answer gave me the idea of Gemila landscaping her yard with a dry riverbed next to the sidewalk. She wouldn't cross all those rocks in her little car. And it could make real "curb appeal" for Gemila.

On the suggestion about prickly hedges, Rosa rugosa and Rosa rubiginosa are both grown in many places to discourage exacly this kind of behaviour. They are at http://plantsdatabase.com/search.php?search_text=Rosa+rugosa&submit=Search and www.habitas.org.uk/flora/ photo.asp?item=3408
(PDB lists the latter as R eglanteria ... http://plantsdatabase.com/go/2426/index.html but the images don't do the shrub justice).

In Britain, these are both recommended by police to keep out intruders from gardens, but grown to close to their full height of 2m.

In your situation you could cut them back hard to ~ a foot each winter and then let them grow to ~ 3 feet in the summer, when you would have the flowers (better on rugosa). Meanwhile the thorns would be enough to discourage the neighbour's wrecker...

They are available in bulk for hedges at reasonable price in the UK (have no idea what the situation is in the US wrt supply).

Oh thats an idea. Just let the neighbor know she might want to keep her child away so she dosnt get all acratched up. Planting thorny shrubs is nothing new, They even had them at the elementary school that I went to.That was many many years ago and those bushes are still there. Even if you choose a less thorny plant it would make a good deterent and you could plant them just far enough apart that a little jeep cant get thru without doing alot of skin scratching. Roses are beautiful and some have some great scents.

I have been following this thread with interest. My kids are grown but I do understand what you are going through.

I understand your frustrations but maybe instead of going through all the landscaping changes you might bite the bullet and talk to the parents instead?

The next time the little tomboy is riding her car on your property walk outside and say to her very sweetly..Why dont you bring your car and lets go talk to your mom? Then go over and talk to them. You could say something like " Little tomboy is welcome at my house to play with my kids . I do need to ask you a favor though. We are very picky about our lawn, as you can tell ,and We dont allow our children to ride in the yard because it tears the lawn up or in our driveway because we worry about them getting hurt.so when she comes over could she please not bring her car "?

This should work better than asking your kids to " get out of her way" Little tomboy is being what she is, a little kid.Maybe the parents just need to be told what you expect?

Then the next time she comes over with the car just walk out and say, Sweetie, you know my rules. Take the car home.

Sometimes the best solution is to be direct.Maybe talking to the parents wont be as bad as you fear.

The problem I see is that if the parents don't care about discipline now, the kids will just get worse as they get older. You are not overreacting. A five-year-old should have some comprehension about boundaries and respecting other people's property. Apparently she needs an outlet for her energy, but it shouldn't have to be your yard. Her family has their own yard, don't they?

This will sound really tacky & I apologize for it ahead. But I was not sure how to say what I am meaning so I was very blunt. This is just an example because I do not know the little girls interest & you probably do. So you could exchange items to fit. If you have done all you can to address this problem with the parents & the little girl with no sucess. You might try something really off the wall:
Next time that little tomboy is riding her car on your lawn ask her VERY nicely but with a VERY SERIOUS face to please go home and bring you her barbies or matchbox cars because since she is having such fun driving over your property with "her" car you would like to have some fun driving over her property with "your" car. Or maybe even try: Honey when you are done riding that please leave it behind my car. Since you seem to enjoy driving over my property I think I would enjoy driving over your property.
Surely this will get the message across that your property is yours & you don't want her driving her car on it. Any more than she would want you to drive your car over her property. Maybe by relating it to something that is her property and on her level she would get the picture.

I think Sharon's idea is the best solution... if you welcome the child to play, just not with her car, surely the parents would respect that? Tell them how much you "enjoy" having her over, BUT.... if you approach them that way, they wouldn't get mad, I'd hope? Maybe the parents just don't know what to expect? Maybe the neighbors they had before didn't mind at all, so they "assume" that you won't mind either.

The rugosa's though they smell heavenly would cause more damage than I think you'd want to.... those are THE sharpest thorns of any rose I've ever seen....

Every single branch is covered with thorns. I got pricked just holding back a branch to take a picture.

I remember a time when my 2 girls were around 4 and 5 years old. Every kid in the neighborhood played at our house. They would stay all day during the summer and I would even end up feeding them lunch! some times I just didnt want to deal with a yard full of kids, having to constantly watch over them so they wouldnt get hurt etc.

I was complaing to my Mom about it one day ( she raised 9 kids) She listened to me and then asked me if I had ever told the parents of these kids how I felt and I had to admit I had not. She told me, How can you complain about the way things are when you have allowed it to go on for so long? Can the parents read your mind? Can the kids? Talk to the parents. set some boundaries and then stick to your guns.

I followed her advice and was glad I did. from then on I had no problems telling the kids playtime was over for the day, or time to go home for lunch or even sorry, we're not having company today. The parents were great about it, my kids still had ample time to play with their friends and I regained my sanity!

Whatever you decide I know you will handle it well. Take back your home! :-)

I still like the automatic sprinkler idea.

I love kids. They are always welcome to pick flowers in my yard.

But if they are hurting my kids, SORRY!

I think that I would try parking my car in my driveway and not in my garage. Even to the point, that the next time she's headed your way in her little Jeep, I'd go out, back my car dead center of my driveway, and go back inside.

As for the lawn, I think a nice border bed framed in bricks or stone or even the roll-top edging that runs nearly the length of your front yard would be a good deterent. Put in some nice flowering shrubs (rose of sharon, viburnum, some perennials). It would add to the aesthetics of your yard and be a barrier to her driving through the lawn.

I am making a "dry creek" to keep people from walking over my lawn (between street and sidewalk). Some are kids and some are my guests who park over there. I thought (a) it would be pretty and (b) it would help identify the area set aside for walking across. As with all of my other projects, it is still in progress!

other half of "dry creek"