Neighbor kids on our lawn

Hi all,
I just needed to vent a little. We live in a fairly new subdivision and so far all our neighbors keep their properties neat and tidy. Our next door neighbor have two young girls ages 5 & 2. The five year old is the biggest tomboy. She rides her bicycle and battery operated 4 wheeled jeep all over our front yard. It really doesn't bother me (unless she's trying to run over my kids which she has done a couple times) but it really bugs my DH whom I have to constantly hear his comments about the tire marks on our lawn. THe only time her parents tell her to stay off our lawn is when they see us at ear shot otherwise they just let her do what she wants but even though they tell her to get off, she still continues.
Everytime they have friends over, all their guests use our driveway and lawn to ride their lil' vehicles & bikes too instead of using theirs.

Now we have three other young kids that recently moved in and are now starting to do the same thing even though they live 6 houses down. Its not even summer yet and they are out here almost every day after school.

Have any of you encountered this problem? and if so how did you handle it??

I've not really experienced that, but can you fence in your yard? or put up some hedges or something?

motion triggered sprinklers

Fences make good neighbors... I read that somewhere once...

I'd be like your husband... LOL

Ah..... another reason I'm glad I live out in the stix!

Melissa I was thinking the SAME THING. lol

I would be trying to get a fence in there FAST if I was you. I don't think anything other than that will solve the problem. Kids would love that sprinkler but that is a funny idea.

Another important concern may be your liability if one of these kids got hurt on your property. If nothing else, you home insurance rate would go up.

I had a sudden thought when I couldn't go to sleep. How about a hedge of thorny roses? What kid would go through something like that on purpose?

That brings us back to the liability issue, a lot of damage can be done to a child with a branch of rose thorn. So throw the parents into the thicket. I have seen a child fall off his bike into a patch of sand stickers, it definately stops them tho.

A fence would be much better for you.

ok maybe you could set up motion triggered sprinklers that smell like skunk, the kids might enjoy it but the parents would think twice about letting the kids in your yard.

So nice to dream.

I agree you about the fence, how about a short fence, maybe 3 feet high or shorter and put rose bushes alon it or a couple of climbing rose on it. The barrier would be there to get the kids used to the idea of a barrier before the thorns reminded them first and you could basicaly have a pretty kid resistant barrier.

This is what a local police officer told me about children on my lawn when I first moved into my home:

Talk to the parents - if you're nervous doing it alone, call the police, and ask them to accompany you. With or without the escort, tell the parents this is their last warning to keep their children off of your property. Explain you do not want their wheeled toys wrecking your lawn, and do not want their children injured while on your property.

The next time they're on the lawn - that's trespassing. Call the police immediately, and *make certain* they take action.

The other alternative the policeman suggested? :) "Get a big dog on a long rope". :)

HTH,
Jennifer

Jennifer, LOL on the dog...I had to laugh, just because I hadn't thought of a big dog. But, in all honesty, a dog on a leash will probably hurt the lawn worse than the kids, and what if the leash broke and the dog bit one of the kids...worse problems than she started with.

I'm not sure I'd go calling police unless they start doing something really malicious. I believe there is a will and way to everything. If you call the police, you immediately become the black sheep of the neighborhood. The one that gets toilet papered and egged, etc. You want to be allies with your neighbors, you never know when you will need them.

I still think a fence or some hedges will do the job. I always had kids in my yard, but then again, I had children of my own. I loved the fact that all the kids came to my house, because then......I always knew where my children were. :) There is a mode to my madness! They never really did so much harm that I was frantic, but I can understand the bikes. If you don't mind the kids, but do mind the bikes, then just politely ask that they not ride their bikes on the lawn. The parents are probably letting them do it, because you've never said anything to them and they think you think it's okay. And of course, if its the fun place to be, the word does get around.

How old are these kids? If they're going to be there, put them to work. Perhaps you could show them how to plant flowers, most kids would soak up that information. And then, when they see all these pretty flowers coming up and know that they helped to plant them, do you think they are going to want to run all over them and destroy.

Just a few things that have popped into my head. I always believe you can reason before taking drastic measures. There are lots of creative ways to teach a child right from wrong if the parents don't seem to have the know how!

Good luck to you. Kathy :)

This message was edited Apr 28, 2004 8:59 AM

This message was edited Apr 28, 2004 9:00 AM

G~ wow that is a perdicament! I being a mother of a 6 year old tom boy daughter can sympathize with you, and i have a three year old son. The best thing to do if you want to have a civil relationship with the, neighbors and they are not going to keep their kids off is a fence or hedge of some sort, i like the rose hedge fence. idea then it won't look like you are doing it just because of the kids but that you wanted to pretty up the yard. yuccas work well to
If i was That parent, i would take the car away and remove the battery if i had to tell my child more than three times, I have had to do this with my son recently for riding his electric car in the front yard where i don't want him. It has worked. Or get you a stay off the grass! sign
I would hate to suggest what my father did when we lived in a subdivision when we were small, and the dogs would come in our yard, He bee beed their butts!!I thought this was so mean , but now that i am grown and i have spent money on plants i have changed my idea of mean!

I must add that I feel like angel song also,in the fact that you shouldn't have to make any changes to your yard that you wouldn't any way just to keep kids out that have no respect. I would talk to the parents nicely and let them know how you feel, and if that doesn't work go from there. I have ran out side franticly on my last limb and hollered and screamed at my husband's nieces and newphew, over my flowers, and told them that if they couldn't leave stuff alone go back to their granny's and don't come back over here, well my crazy rant worked for awhile!

Heck i scared them into staying away! might be what you have to do, kids sometimes listen when the parents won't! ( very rarely LOL) but it is worth a try, It does get tiring looking out the window just waiting to get on them though! just because the parents don't care. I have to do this every time the kids are next door.

I sit there Looking out the window to see if they are plucking a flower or tearing up something, or pouring the dog water out etc.....and it makes me so mad when see them doing this [deleted], and their granny is just sitting there saying absolutely nothing, till they start doing it to her yard and her flowers then she starts getting on them!



This message was edited Apr 28, 2004 8:38 AM

My reason for including police is only if Gemila is nervous telling the parents to control their children.

I have not yet included police in keeping neighborhood brats out of my yard. Instead, since their parents could care less (evident by allowing them to trample my flowerbeds), I wait until their little shoes are inches from a flower , then I run out and holler, "Look at where your feet are right now! I've spent hours in that flowerbed, and you're going to ruin it. Watch what you're doing! Don't mess up my yard and my flowerbeds, Please!" This has gotten some of the kids to respect me, and thus respect my yard. I also have a new puppy. Of course, everyone wants to "pet the puppy". To the children that respect me, and stay clear of my flowers, the answer is "yes you may". To the kids that do not respect my property, the answer is "no, not right now." Until they demonstrate respect of me and my property, the answer will remain "no". A few of the kids have even told me, "your yard is so nice". That's when I chime in, and say, "that's why I don't want you running through the new sod and trampling the flowerbeds... My yard looks good because I work very hard in it, and I want it to stay pretty."

There is absolutely no reason why you should go out, and spend your earnings on a fence or a hedge if you don't want to. Instead, use the taxes you're already paying to use the laws in your favor. Local police are supposed to protect you, and help you protect your property.

I'm not saying to not call the police, but I always turn for the "peaceful" solution first. I guess I am, for the most part, a passive person because I truly believe that you get more with honey than you do vinegar. As soon as the police are called....attitudes turn negative. :) Kathy

this is so true ...

If you can't talk to the neighbors about it, you have to do something about it. The neighbors across the street from me made the mistake of putting in fruit trees on the strip across from their sidewalk. In the summer, every kid in the neighborhood is up in those trees, breaking the limbs, having "apple fights" in the street, (leaving the mess behind of course) and can get very nasty when we tell them to leave the trees alone. A knock on their parents doors from the police might help solve the problem. But I'd most certainly try to talk to the parents first and tell them your yard is not the local "park".

Hi all,
I really appreciate your opinions. Our HOA only allows fences behind on the back part of the house. Last fall we finally got our fence up. The bike riding occurs mostly up and down our sidewalk and driveway then back to hers. The lil' powered jeep she rides across our lawn and and driveway. The parents are constantly in and out. The mom is the one who is more considerate of the two but the girl still doens't listen to her when she tells her to stay off. The dad lets her do what ever she wants. He keeps an eye on her but doesn't tell her not to. This little girl is the kind of kid that calls on mine when she has nobody to play with. As soon as another kid comes over she ignores them. This really bugs me so I try to keep my kids in the backyard. There have been a couple of times where I've seen her purposely trying to chase my kids (ages 5, 3.5 & 21 mo.) with her lil' power wheels jeep. I've made sure to talk loudly so her parents hear me when I tell them to get out of the way. The mom tries to be nice by telling her not to do that but of course the kid doesn't listen. Only once did she take the jeep away.

Although it really bothers DH, I know he'd never call the cops.
We do want to keep peace with our neighbors and otherwise all is fine. My Aunt had and my parents have a neighbor from hell so I know what thats like. I guess I was just venting a bit. Again, the part that most bothers me is when she tries to run my kids over w/ it but I also get tired of my DH's rants and complaints. We're definately trying to teach our kids to respect our neighbors but seems these days less parents are doing it. I remember when we had to call all adults by Mr. or Mrs. We've tried to instill that in our kids too but its getting hard when others want them to call them by their first name. It sure confuses the kids.
Thanks again,
Gemila

This is a pic of my three angels on Easter.

Gemila, They are beautiful children. I would definitely go over and talk to the mom and ask that the jeep not be allowed in your yard and tell her why. I would understand that. Your children come first, no matter what you have to do.

You know, you could "happen" to be out watering your lawn next time she comes along with her jeep. Perhaps an "accidental" dousing would encourage her to steer cleer.

Seriously, call your homeowner's insurance company and ask them what they suggest. There is a liability issue and there is a property damage issue. They might have some ideas.

It doesn't hurt to call the police (use a non-emergency number if your area has one) and ask them what they suggest. They deal with this sort of thing a lot, I'm sure.

If that doesn't work, get a blanket and a picnic basket and have your kiddos enjoy a nice afternoon/evening on the neighbor's lawn. :)

Want some Yucca's? They make a nice barrier :)

Oh boy can I relate! Bought house in summer of 2000 and met the grandchildren of neighbors two doors down, they were about 4 and 7. My two youngest were newborn and 2. Since our backyard was not yet kid friendly, we would sit out front so 2 yo could ride his little scooter.

The two grandkids (we now refer to them as "Beastie Boys") stayed often at neighbors. BB would race up and down the sidewalk in front of our house, not slowing for my little ones at all. They also played "bumper bikes" and "chicken" without any consideration of who was in the way. They also ran through my flower beds and yard.

I started out nice and it didn't work. So I started getting nasty. The 4yo pulled a knife from his pocket and threatened me with it!! They both cursed at me. When we would go in the back yard, they would go around back and harass us (we are on a corner and there is an alley as well) They even threw a rock at my now-5-year-old when he was playing in our back yard. I could go on and on.

They claim that they like riding in front of our house because we have a good sidewalk, not all broken up like theirs. I didn't get anywhere with mom or Grandmother (grandfather is "step" and not allowed authority). We don't have a HOA because this is just a small town... but we do have a small town police dept! I reported and reported (grandmother would lie), documented,etc and even the chief told them that they had violated the "public property" expectations of the sidewalk and to not come past our property line on the sidewalk. That didn't work either but it's getting better!

I still have problems but I have prevented some of it with landscaping. Please excuse the "still in progress" look because it pretty much is!

This is the corner "fence" that I put up partly to add privacy between my house and the rental (nothing wrong with rentals but this one is managed by a slumlord) next to me and partly to keep the BB from using that corner as a "turnaround" location on their bikes etc.

My DH built these for me by our front sidewalk (which is in poor shape obviously!)

Other side of front sidewalk...

In this picture, on the other side of the Big Wheel , you can see the recycled "railing" that I'm going to use as a trellis when the right plant comes along. Underneath the daylilies are some bowling ball sized rocks...

In this flowerbed (under the Bishop's Weed now) are more rocks... these are thin flat sharp rocks (I think my DH refers to them as Oakley rock, I don't know why) that are placed vertically not laying flat. Heck yeah, the kids would hurt themselves on them... but they know they are there (they are way more visible when garden goes dormant) and with all of the documentation I have, I'm not worried about it.

I'm not a cruel person, I am compassionate and caring, and I like kids. However these two BB have pushed me too far and I'm at the end of my rope.

Oh, I also contacted the city council to enforce the city law to have their sidewalk repaired! Everyone has a good point about not calling the police so they don't have more problems but the way I feel is that these neighbors haven't responded to anything else and I already feel harrassed and am afraid of damage/vandalism the way it is now.

Oh yeah... recycled farm implements help also! I have some in each flower bed by the front sidewalk (previous pics) and the plow pictured here... (can't hardly see it now!)

Or just tell the little girl that likes to run over your kids that she is welcome WITHOUT her little 3 wheeler. Tell her if she wants to play there she can, but by your rules or she has to go home. Don't be mean, just be firm so she knows you are nice but means business.

I love living in the country!!!

I would love to live in the country I could have a blast, the kids wouldnt like it much since there would be no one around basicaly but I could do so much.
Im lucky I guess that all my neighbors are great, the kids are great, they know Im easy going but they also know what I will not tolerate and the parents are really good about reprimands when needed. Im sorry you have to go thru this too but glad I live where most people care about what thier kids are doing.
The biggest problems I had was with the drug dealing neighbors that "used" to live across the street, the mom would let her boy do what ever he wanted, he cussed, harrassed other kids other stuff and the most she would do was make him come inside for an hour and then let him back out to do whatever he wanted again. The last straw was when he grabbed my son by the face and shoved him as hard as he could, DH saw that, went across the street and was not happy at all, it got bad when she asked him if it really happend that way or was my boy lying, DH said he saw it and then she said whatever, get the @^&% off my property(section 8) thats when the shtuff hit the fan and the whole neighborhood started coming down on them.
Now everything is peachy and others have learned they better watch themselves, but like I said we all mostly care about what happens here so that helps big time.
P.S.- I still like my idea of skunk smelling sprinkler water but havnt figured out how to make it work yet and to let it only smell on the invading kids and not the yard LOL.

when i lived in a herd we had these nasty kids and in fun decided to run over my son with his bike. broke his leg but good both the tibia and fibia.
talk to the parents now and stop that!!!! before your kids get hurt.

Anyone stop to think about the plus side of this topic.
Your kids are home & not gone to parts unknown to you!
We always were the place to be when I was a kid. Made for lasting friendships for all the families involved. When our kids were growing up, it was the same thing.
Maybe put in a sand box & a swingset in your backyard. The kids would hang out there instead of your lawn. It would also keep them back from the street.
You will probably be in for a move after a short time if you get police involved.
It's much more fun being neighborly!
Just my thoughts.
Bernie

Yep Bernie, just what I said above:

"I always had kids in my yard, but then again, I had children of my own. I loved the fact that all the kids came to my house, because then......I always knew where my children were. :) There is a mode to my madness! "

:)

I just had to laugh at Eweeds motion censored sprinklers, that's funny, bet it would get rid of them though LOL


It's rough having to have to tell your neighbors something that might or might not upset them, you don't really want to rock the boat, but they are being unfair, and they are taking advantage of you. Have you been able to solve the problem yet, I didn't get a chance to read all the posts, so I might have missed it if you mentioned being able to talk to them about it. I need to go back and read the other posts.

kathy_ann

Well, I did go back and read all the posts, my gosh, I'm so glad like (misty meadows) that I live in the country, is life really that bad in the city, mommydi, that's terrible that you have to put up with kids like that, and parents don't do anything about it. Like I said I do live in the country, the only bad thing that ever happened here is someone went up and down the road and bashed in a ll the mailboxes, that happened twice, another time, about 2:30 in the morning, teenagers were dragracing up and down the road, they passed by my house one too many times, I just flashed my front porch light on and off 7 or times so they could see they wer keeping us up, and they didn't come back by, thought that was very nice of them LOL. but all in all, life is peaceful around here. and boy I don't want to move to a subdivision at all. hope you guys get your neighbor problems solved, I know it's real frustrating. my dh, would be opening his mouth in no time, LOL

Gemila,

Listening to your husband "commenting" about those kids *all summer* will become more stressful to both of you than the kids' antics will. In the name of family harmony, please consider going over to the parents and letting them know that the kids have to stay off the lawn and out of the driveway. You are doing those kids a favor, they need to learn that it is NOT ok to do whatever you want in this world. It sounds like you worry more about the neighbor's feelings than your husbands - or yours! You are important too and your first responsibility is to your family.

JMO, Eileen

It's not uncommon for me to find some strange kid staring into the contents of my refrigerator. It's been that way since my boys were little, and I treat their friends just like they were my own ("Hey! Find what you want and close that door!" (*grin*)

As you can guess, I ascribe also to the "I'd rather know where my kids are, even if that means my house is full of other people's kids." So my driveway is where basketball games, roller hockey and skateboarding takes place. My back yard has a path for the four-wheel "Yerf dog" (not my idea, but I often think DH is my biggest kid, so what can I do???) I go through frozen icepop treats, cokes, kool-aid and ice tea like a concession stand. But I know where my kids are, and who their friends are, and (most of the time) what they're up to.

However, when children are not particularly friendly with your own kids, that's a different issue. I would appeal to your HOA for help, and ask them to send a letter to EVERYONE reminding them that children cannot ride or run through neighboring yards or play in neighbor's driveways, and cite the obvious safety and liability reasons. Once the letters are sent then you have more leverage to approach the neighbor or turn them in and let the HOA board rake them over the coals for ignoring the warning. (I'm not big fan of HOAs, but they DO serve a purpose ;o)
Sign me
Thankful I live on an acreage, just wish I had 5-10 more!

Terry, I believe children live what they learn and perhaps the homelife for these kids is not that good. If Mom or Dad doesn't enforce rules, then you know it must be mayhem inside, for what we don't see is usually worse. It sounds like these kids could use some kindness and learn some lessons from Gemila and her 3 beautiful children. Perhaps they need a popsicle every now and then. Perhaps the actions of these children is a way of getting attention from something that they wish they had :)

I have no problem with kids congregating at my house, playing in our sandbox, "fort", etc.. The house immediately next door (even if trashy due to landlord neglect) has been occupied by three families over the last three years with young children. We share everything, moms bring out "potluck" lunches for the kids, buffet style on the grass.

The other situation is not the "norm" and neither are the boys. I went to school with the mother and aunts (small town!) and one aunt in particular did more than her share of terrorizing, assault, and harrassment in HS. I don't remember the mother too well (younger than I am) but she isn't very pleasant now. (She stood in the driveway and hollered at her boys "I don't care what the police said, you go ahead and ride your bikes that way, it's a public sidewalk!").

The BB have serious behavior/mental problems as well-- the oldest has spent time in an mental hospital (at age 6), shot sister and brother with bb guns, brother with bow and arrow. He is alternating between a special school and mainstreaming and lives with the grandparents because he has done too much damage to his own home (they replaced French doors twice before sending him to grandmother's house). Supposedly he's already destroyed his grandmother's collection of porcelain dolls. From what I've seen of the younger one, he's "in training" to be like older brother. I watch them run into each other with their bikes, throw stuff at each other (including bikes, scooters), curse, etc.

If my calling the police and putting up sharp rocks in order to encourage them to avoid our children and our property seems extreme, it's because the situation feels extreme. I can deal with "kids" and their hijinks... but I will not be held hostage or be terrified that they will assault my children when they go out to play. This isn't East LA or Harlem or inner city whatever (no offense to the people that live there!)... it's more like Mayberry... and I will not tolerate this behavior. My tolerance and compassion ends when people deliberately cause harm/hurt to others.

On the lighter side... I found this on another thread... I busted a gut!!

http://www.joespc.com/carlos/redneck.htm

I read that one a couple of days ago too - what a hoot!! Don't you just wonder where some of these people came from?