"Singles" forum?

Since I am newly 'single' after 16 years, could we have a 'singles' forum? I need all the support I can get to make it thru this bumpy time in my life. This could possibly be a forum where those in each other's area could get together and have fun and 'support' each other.

Although I'm not single, I think this would be a neat idea. This is something that I for one wouldn't be oppose to. I think it would be good for all singles to meet and talk about all the diffrent situations that come up..this could be a good support group and yall would have something in comman other than just being single..... guess its up to Dave........ :o)

I admit that on the surface of it, this sounds like a dating service (or an alcoholic establishment for non-married folks). (Of course it is not, but that's just what the word "Singles Forum" brings to mind for me).

Every new forum I create here on DG is weighed carefully as to how it will affect (long-term) the kind of community we're building here at DG. Gardening is #1 and everything else potentially takes away from the gardening talk. We do have non-gardening topics, but those are usually related in some way to gardening.

I can't see how a Singles forum fits into the idea of DG, and I fear it opens the door to an even larger departure from our roots.

dave

Shoot, Dave....I was hoping to find that retired trucker with a motor home!! Oh well...back to the drawing board!! heheheh. Jo

There are some on here, have gone through "nasty" times, divorce, etc. We are all available to talk to through our emails. Eager to help when we can, just to talk to if nothing else. We all love flowers, so we do have very much in common.

Your right Dave, sure could turn into a can of worm's if it's misused... It's really to bad though, I know singles do face things I take for granted cause my other half takes care of them.
Guess I dont have a devious mind to think of the what if's.

Anyway you know best .... :o)

This community is made up of people with all kinds of life situations, interests, dilemmas and joys, and I think that all of us communicate quite well within the spectrum of the existing forums, and through private e-mails. There are many, many forums for singles on the Internet, and I would not be in favor of DG being among them -- on any scale.

How about an area for'anyone in need of support', no matter what the circumstances are. They at least could meet here and then go on to converse via private e-mail if they choose to do that.
I understand there is a prayer group, but not everyone would want or fit into this kind of a group. This would be a 'non-prayer type of support group'. Everyone needs support at some time...I think it would be used by many of the members.
I don't think there would be any objection to that (?)
Margie

I would object to that.

Come to think of it, I believe I found a few GW support forums indirectly awhile back. I'm not sure what they had to do with the site though. I'm not sure what the response would have been if I requested prayer support.

The single most strongest reason that I decided to subscribe and continue to subscribe is because of DG's christian mission. I was happy that I finally found a place where I could be a christian without having non-christians complain about prayer and christianity at a place they share. This might not be what you have in mind but it's pretty much how I would take it.

No one is required to pray to get support here. Through any forum on this site, people can continue to contact each other privately through e-mail. Why do we specifically need a "non-prayer" forum?


This message was edited Sep 24, 2003 2:58 PM

I think there can be room for everyone in Dave's garden, like there is or anyway should be, in life. No exclusions, only inclusions of everyone.

JMHO.....What is your opinion Dave? Margie

Sorry Kay

I've never been married nor co-habitated and am therefore the merry spinster. I personally don't feel the need for support in being single, (unless someone really wants to bring an extra wage packet into my house, all applicants please email me for details ;), but do understand that it must be strange and difficult if you suddenly find yourself in an opposite situation to one you are used to ... like me suddenly getting married. Actually that would probably apply more to my unwitting husband, now he definitely would be in need support ;)

I will say I support Dave's decision, for no reason other than this is a gardening site, the more forums we get with another focus takes us a little step away from the gem of DG. For those who feel the need for support, be they single, married, having worrys, problems or just life being life, the General Discussion forum seems to be the main place all the discussions begin, I suppose it depends on which forum you feel most comfortable in.

There is room for everyone here without excluding anyone. Like I said, nobody is required to pray here. So how would a specifically non-prayer support forum exclude anyone?

I believe that to include everyone, we should give the members the opportunity to join a support forum for Christians or a support forum with a non-sectarian focus. To me that would be including everyone who wanted support. Margie

Do you mean a two separate forums for support with two separate names " Christian Support Forum" and "Non-Sectarian Forum" (for example)?

Yes, that is exactly what I meant. Margie

Just my .02 here. The Prayer Forum here is used by many gardeners here and as far as I can tell, has never excluded anyone no matter what religous affiliation they do or do not profess. The banner across the top is a quote from Rudyard Kipling who certainly was no missionary. If you post a request for support you not only will receive prayers but may find people who can e-mail and talk off the garden site about specific issues you may be facing.

DG, in my opinion, is primarily a gardening site but it in no way inhibits participants from forming off-site and incredibly supportive and knowledgeable bonds.

Again, just my .02

I'm sorry Margie, but I just don't see how encouraging non-christian forums would be appropriate on a christian forum site. Unless I really misunderstood the site's mission.

Most forums are not necessarily specifically prayer-related anyway but to gardening in general. In the forums that aren't strictly about gardening, I haven't noticed that prayer is either discouraged or encouraged (except the Prayer Forum). But someone might interpret forums with those types of labels as prayer-related and non-prayer-related. If I participated in the non-prayer-related forum, I would not purposely request prayer from those who preferred I didn't, and I hope to think I wouldn't avoid the forum for that reason, but I sure would be disappointed about it.

It comes down to this. This is Dave's site, his home so to speak, and he doesn't have to be politically correct and inclusive, to be everything to everyone. If you think about it, how very many ways might such a road travel?

Non-Sectarian Support...
Non-Sectarian Support for Singles in Kansas
Non-Sectarian Support for Farmers in Lapland
Non-Sectarian Support for People With Overbites

Christian Prayer...
Christian Prayer for Catholics with Lisps
Christian Prayer for Episcopalians with Hammer Toes
Christian Prayer for Pentecostals with Historic Homes
Christian Prayer for Sprinkling Baptisers
Christian Prayer for Dunking Baptisers...

Where would it end? ;)

This message was edited Sep 24, 2003 5:20 PM

Watch it now! Some people can be VERY sensitive about the conversation of Hammer Toes.:)

Yes,
You are right, this is Dave's site, so whatever he decides is fine with me.

I do want to add though, any opinion can be carried on until it is made to looks ridiculous. I don't appreciate it being done to my opinions. So for me, this will be my last post on this subject, as I am afraid that I might say something I will regret.

I will just say that, it is the people wanting a Christian site that are wanting to deny support for those who may not want prayer to be part of their support. Think about it. That just doesn't make sense to my way of thinking. It doesn't sound very Christian to me.

BTW, I am a Christian but do not like the attitude of some Christians, and even sometimes feel ashamed to be associated with them. Margie

Picturelady, I was in no way maligning you. I was just making the point that our culture in general has bent over backwards to be politically correct to the point where there are classes, sub-classes, sub-sub-classes, etc. There's just no easy way to accomodate everyone, and I don't think it's making fun of anyone to point that out.

Also, you will notice that there is no lack of support for those not professing Christ. People throughout the forums mention hardships in their lives, and many people voice their concern and support for those people. You don't have to have one particular forum for that to happen.

This message was edited Sep 24, 2003 5:53 PM

I think Dave has (gently) voiced his decision already. Let's put an end to the discussion before we end up causing problems and divisions where none should exist, please?

Sorry - I missed Terry's post before sending this one.

This message was edited Sep 24, 2003 5:17 PM

A very nice and subtle way to end a very touchy subject.

Thanks Terry and Dave for setting my mind at ease after I read all the pertinent comments made by the nice and caring folks here at DG.

TC...

Hey, I'm a single guy, a Christian and I have a cold beer every now and then. But I joined DGs for all the good info that I get from the really nice folks here and to learn more about plants. Dave has done a great job putting this together. This is not a singles club nor is it a church. Members have emails if anyone wants to carry on other conversations. There are great pictures of plants, people and other things and we are able to make all the comments we want. I have learned alot and it takes my mind off personal problems. Refreshing to have a place where there is no outside interference and we can just talk plants and things that go with them.

"Hey, I'm a married guy, a Christian and I have a cold beer every now and then."

Good stuff after yer first sentence too poorgeorge!

TC...

Poorgeorge, I am a widow, so single, but after 50 not too pleasant wedded years including 7 years taking care of husband while in and out of hosp. and nursing home, I am thoroughly enjoying singleness!!!!! I can do whatever I want to whenever I want to. Can plant and garden as i wish with no arguments. Donna

Enjoyed this immensely, see we can all talk without a "special forum".

I am married to a wonderful man...He on the other hand is widowed to DG ;~)

KayJones - These days many houses of worship have divorce support groups. Just a thought, before I have a cold one.

You have my bestest wishes. (I drove through KY once.)

BIRD