From my friend in West Virginia

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Dea Frederick, MD(Zone 6a) Aug 01, 2003

From a friend of mine in WVA - written to all the yuppies that pass through their quaint town on weekends - just loved it!

That farm boy standing next to the feed bin did more work before breakfast than you do all week at the gym.

It's called a 'gravel road'. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Navigator. I have a four-wheel drive because I need it. Drive it or get it out of the way.

We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years old. Yeah,we saw Bambi. We got over it.

Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if a flathead catfish breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those little trout you fish for....bait.

Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.

If that cell phone rings while a bunch of deer are walking up to our tree stand, we will shoot it. You might hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.


No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey.

You bring Coke into my house but it better be brown, wet, and served over ice.

So you have a sixty thousand dollar car you drive on weekends. We're real impressed. We have quarter of a million dollar combine that we use two weeks a year.

Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.

Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks--because they want to. So, you're a feminist. Isn't that cute.

Yeah, we eat catfish. Carp, too. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop.

They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get over it. Don't like it? LEAVE!

The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a
religious holiday. You can get breakfast at the church.

So every person in every pickup waves... It's called being
friendly. Understand the concept?

Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit the ball into the water hazard. It spooks the fish.

That Highway Patrol Officer that just pulled you over for driving like an idiot...his name is "Sir"...no matter how old he is.

Now, enjoy your visit and go home.

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darius So.App.Mtns., United States(Zone 5b) Aug 01, 2003

I LOVE it! Those same Yuppies visit here, too.

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