neighbors

I was in my room, minding my own business, when I overheard a neighbor walking her dog, making nasty comments about how we must not care about our lawn and must be crying because it is so awful looking.

I don't know whether to be mad or cry. I'm not able to do ANYTHING in the garden yet, I can't walk without a walker, can't get up and down stairs.

My husband works 12-14 hour days, 5 or 6 days a week, and does all the housework, marketing, and running around... leaving him absolutely NO time to do anything right now.

We are built on river silt, and it apparently needs constant EXPENSIVE watering for it to be presentable with grass.

I am wanting to put in a thyme lawn but have also called Chemlawn to come and analyze the thing to see if we have grubs or a disease or what. The analysis is free of charge so I figured maybe the neighbors will be happy if we have a Chemlawn truck in our driveway - maybe that will appease them.

My husband said that if he had known everyone was so awful about their yard here we would not have bought this house.

We've only been here a year.

I started to write an email to one of the neighbors I overheard but thought better of it.

I feel like putting up a sign in the yard saying "We hate the lawn too and we're going to do something about it as soon as we can!"...

I don't know if I'm just venting or if there is advice to receive... thanks for letting me rant.

Love to all
Janie

Oh Janie, I'm so sorry. People can be so cruel it's rediculous. I'm not really sure what to say that would make you feel better though. I can't believe they would do that to anyone. Let them talk. There's a new pop song called "Words can't bring me down", not sure who sings it but don't let words bring you down dear.

Maybe if you have a hard time with a yard you could maybe turn it into a rock garden. The whole thing so you wouldn't have to worry about mowing it in the future. I think that would look most awesome. Would take a little time to do but would be great in the end.

I'm not good with words and making people feel better but I do hope that you will cheer up a bit :o)
Take care and don't fret about what the neighbors talk about. If they have time to talk, then they obviously don't have a life of their own.

Susan, you might really be onto something there. We live in a desert region, where many people have converted what they laughingly call their lawns into rock gardens, with lovely sculptures to boot. That might not go over big with the neighbors in Ohio (where greenery is lush), but it would save Janie and Tom the hassle of upkeep.

I'm so sorry to hear this. You have had enough trouble. The neighbors may not be aware of your situation. My DH, a minister, said he would cut right to it and face the neighbors the next time you see or hear them and ask them what right they have to critisize you and your husband without even knowing the facts as to why your yard is in this condition. It was an ignorant, hurtful thing for them to say and they probably don't know what is going on with you and your hubby as far as health issues and the small amount of work you are able to do and the vast duties he has on his shoulders. Just pray first for the Lord to give you the right words to say, and to prepare your neighbors' minds, spirits and hearts to receive what you say. Say it kindly and let them know how hurt you are and that, given the choice, the yard would not look like it does and you intend to remedy the situation as soon as your circumstances allow it. We are praying for you both and the whole situation you are in.

Janie, where in the world is Silver Lake? If not too far, I would be more than happy to come help you out. I can't do too much as I have 2 bad discs in my back but I'm always willing to help a fellow gardener :o)

I think a rock garden would look wonderful even if we are in Ohio. Jim was going to do that had we found a house to buy as he hates mowing a lawn. You can put pretty sculptures out and some bird feeders and bird baths and have beautiful flowers all to boot and not have to worry about mowing anything :o)

I wish your husband were here. I tried to get outside quickly enough to talk to the woman but I'm so slow with the walker and I was way in the back of the house of course, it takes me 10 minutes to go from the bedroom to the kitchen, or so it seems -

I am just so glad my DH didn't hear them. He's so discouraged anyway. We know these neighbors are giving our yard dirty looks and judging us intensely.

I just wish I could get my plans underway for the amazing showplace gardens I want to have in the front of our house... I want it to be so spectacular that they all regret their derisive comments... but knowing such folk, it is more likely they will pat themselves on the back for making comments that "lit a fire under them lazy people"...

Dag nab it. My hubby and I are COUNTRY people in a suburb - we probably should have purchased further away from such nonsense. But we really love our home, and there is a chance - a CHANCE - if we can make our lawn ok in their eyes - that these people might accept us.

Just makes me want to cry, though. SO much to do, and my body just won't allow it. I do hope maybe we can be outside when the lady walks that little yappy dog tomorrow evening and I'll grab her and talk to her about what our lives are like, maybe that will help.

I'm listening, everyone. Thanks for your words of encouragement and wisdom. Keep the wisdom coming - I feel like I am fresh out!

Love
Janie

Janie, that's rotten!! words can be so hurtful! there's one thing I know, it's impossible to please mean-spirited people, and a waste of time to try. You could try to explain it to them, or you could have fun with it-Put up a big sign that says "dirt experiment in progress-do not disturb" then buy a pink plastic flamingo or a giant santa and stick it right smack dab in the middle of the lawn, surrounded by flourescent artificial flowers, and when they walk by, holler out the window "Isn't it bee-yoootiful?" that would give them something to talk about! Don't let them make you cry, it sounds like you have enough stress as it is. If I were near you, I'd come help you!!!

I'm so sorry that someone hurt you like this. I hope just the sight of you with the walker will make her gulp and have a huge change of heart. Wouldn't it be wonderful if that happened and she came to help you??? (that's my prayer anyway)

Sticks and Stones! My yard is a mess and we, my DH and I do not have anything to keep us from getting it better except money and time. We have an old yard with roots and weeds. We are getting prices from people who to lawns. We know that to do it ourselves would be ridiculous! We would have to rent a bobcat and level and everything else that goes with getting a lawn together! Everything takes time and neighbors, good neighbors should realize that.
Try not to fret. It will all work out. I'm sure that there are neighbors who do understand and are friendly. Just give it time and try not to worry about the ones who would coplain about anything.

Weelll, it seems to me that putting so much emphasis on the way a lawn looks says WAY more about her than it does about you. It's really kind of silly when you think about it.

Actually I kind of feel sorry for people like that. You can take a modicum of comfort in the notion that perhaps the best thing that can be said about this lady at her funeral will be "She sure had a nice lawn. She was a miserable wretch, but man, you could have played a round of golf on that lawn."

Use your energy to heal up and take care of what's important. I assure you-- it AIN'T your lawn.

OH Janie don't cry over what your neighbor said. It's not worth it. I really like Carena's idea. Does this neighbor take the dog for regular walks. If she does I would sit out on the front porch on in the front yard and when she goes by mention that you heard what she said. YOu would if you could but you can't, but you would welcome her help. Seeing the circumstances you're in she'll either help you out or shut up. Ignorance is no excuse for plain old rude bahavior.

I just wanted to fill you all in on what happened with this.
I sat down and wrote an email to our closest next door neighbor, whose husband the lady with the dog and the attitude was talking to when I overheard that conversation.

In it, I said how much it hurt to hear that and explained what our situation was... and that we are taking steps to fix, etc.

Well - I put the email in the "Drafts" folder - or so I thought...and was thinking I had just had a chance to vent and went in to ditch it - and it had been SENT!

Oh dear.

Well, the Lord works in mysterious ways... and we got the most wonderful, encouraging letter from this neighbor - about how glad they are to have nice people like us as neighbors, and that the lady who said that is a bit of a perfectionist and should never have said such a thing... etc. What an encouragement and what a blessing! We both needed to hear that, since we had thought we weren't exactly "fitting in"...

Meanwhile when the ChemLawn guy came, he said that our newly seeded (WHAT????) grass is doing great and that they can help us get it real nice and green for not much money - and we'll be FINE. Come to find out the husband of this nice neighbor had seeded our lawn for us and it just came up after last night's rain!!!!

This has gone from what looked so sad to something that really has blessed us in many ways.

Thanks, everyone for your support and prayers.

Love
Janie

Janie,
Just read your post for the first time, and it brought tears to my eyes!
Ah, so the Lord indeed does work in mysterious ways, and you kept your honour and your dignity.
So glad this situation has been resolved!

Excellent news, Janie.

Sorry that you have such a NARROW MINDED, SHORT-SIGHTED neighbor!

Here's how I look at it.... You are not breaking any legal laws... how much does that neighbor contribute to your life?
Is she of any help to you in solving your problems??... Does she pay your bills, or pay your taxes??? Does she help with your groceries???

Then who the "@~*#+*" cares what she thinks or says!!!!

Some very rude, egotistical people are so very "blown-up" with their own importance!!! Just keep in mind how uneducated an uncouth she is....who actually cares what this HORRIBLE (and unneighborly) person thinks????
(People like that make me SOOOOO angry!!!)

Wish I lived next door to you....I would be over to help, not criticize.

Jannie.....Seems like I "jumped the gun" again!! (I do that a lot.) But your very first post really made me mad, so much so that my vision must have gotten blurred!

After reading your last post...am happy to find out that the neighbor was human after all and has some good in her soul.

But what I said in my post still goes. Whenever you have the misfortune of running into unfair, unwarrented criticism from thoughtless individuals, keep what I wrote in mind!!

You have lots of good, loyal friends in DG.

Hedy :-))

Oh Janie, I'm so glad everything worked out. And it appears as if you have new friends too. Praise God!

hedandan, I appreciated your indignant response - I felt the same way - and the person who said the nasty thing was NOT the nice person, the nice person was the wife of the guy the bad person talked to (whew!)...

I'm sorry if I wasn't clear.

Thanks for the support. Wish you were next door!

Love
Janie

well the next time the nasty person walked by with their yippy dog I would raise my hand but I wouldn't be waving. But hey I am just a hot headed italian ;)

polarbear_77

lol polarbear!!!!

Dear Janie Joy,
Hi! Maybe this person and the dog can be encouraged to
help do some of the gardening for you. Have a wonderful
spring and summer:)

Glad it all worked out for you. I've heard stories up here about a neighbor complaining about somebodies yard and getting a car put on it's roof for a lawn ornament. A farmer up on Beech Hill left a dead cow by the side of the road to [deleted] off his neighbors until the law made him remove it. Glad you and your neighbors are friends.

I think it was Walt Whitman that said, "Good fences make good neighbors", wasn't it??

Thinking stockade fence.. nice and tall... or shadowbox... 8 foot would be nice, LOL!

im so glad it turned out well in the end.