My experience with a "Non-Member"

I don't do as much seed trading as some of you do. But I have read post where some of you didn't want to trade with "Non-Members" because of one reason or another. So there for when I recieved a e/mail from a "non-member" I was a little worried as what I should do. The lady wanted some Castor bean seeds that I had posted about way back when and wanted to trade me for some of her seeds. Well I mulled it over in my head and I though oh well I will just tell her to send me a SASE and we could just go from there. I really didn't think I would ever see the SASE.....but I did! To top it all off, this lady sent me a $5.00 bill! For just one pack of seeds. I e/mailed her and told her that $5.00 was wayyyy too much money for 1 pack of seeds, and that I would just pay for the postage on the seeds and then get stamps to fill the change part of her money, and I'd send it all back to her that way. She e/mailed me right back and told me to just send her 1 pack of seeds and for me to keep the remaining money and do with it as I wish! I was shocked!!!!!! A non member being so kind like this!! Needless to say I have a nice size envelope full of seeds all fixed up with her name on it and I will be sending it off to her tomorrow.
Just wanted to share my experience with a non member and from now on I will at least give them the chance to send the postage before I chalk them off as a dud.

I have been exchanging email with a lady who contacted me about something I posted some time ago, too. I haven't checked to see if she is a member. I have some things she wants, and I am a generous person by nature. She offered me something I want. If I never get it, I will certainly remember her, just as I do the more than thirty people who asked for plants on GW when I first started trading, and who never sent their part. I did become more cautious about my "trades", and I still have the list of those who did or didn't uphold their end of a deal. Some are members here. Others disappeared. Sadly, I sent things that never arrived, as well, and I am on at least one negative list of which I am aware. This is a fun thing for me, something I was amazed to find and delighted to do. I need fun things. If someone else's fun is feeling that they outsmarted another gardener and got something for nothing, I feel deeply sympathetic and hope they someday see a better way. I have no intention of cancelling out the highs of life in order to avoid the lows. And I hope I will always give someone a chance, because I seem to need one myself all too often. God bless you, MB, I'm happy to know there are others who want to trust and are willing to offer the handshake first.

I have had many really good trades for plants and seeds with non-members..To me being a member or not doesn't make the other person trustworthy or not, there is always a risk in trading.. But the good sure does out way the bad..
Larkie

My mother~in~law in Germany sent, at absolutely no cost, a box weighing approximately two pounds..., full of merchandise she had specifically bought at my request for a Dave's Garden member.

This member has neither acknowledged receipt of the gift, nor responded to my emails hoping she is enjoying it..., and yet continues to post on this site.

Not everyone is perfect.

Adam.

there are good and bad in every group but i think most of the people here are true, faithful and generous. in over 2 yrs i have only had 1 trade that was not uphailed. i don't think that is too bad a %.

I guess I have been very fortunate in my trades. I have never had anyone fail to send their trade and many of them were non paying members. I have had several that were destroyed by the post office and a couple that died in transit due to packaging in adaquacies but those I just chalk up to inexperience.

I THINK I have fullfilled every commitment I have made but being only human it is more than possible I have let someone down along the way. If so they have never contacted me to say so. I look at trades and SASE's the same as I do finding a home for a stray pet....I just want them all to be loved in their new homes.

This year I have no trades going since we moved and left most of my plants behind but I hope to be able to rejoin the exchanges in the future when I have something to offer.

Sometimes trades do not get completed for whatever reasons, such as when life interferes. I have made a great many trades over the past few years, and am constantly amazed at the efforts "strangers" and friends will go to to share their gardens with me. There was only one time that someone deliberately set out to cheat a large number of people out of some plants... So often, a single trade has a value exceeding my yearly budget for plants (pre-trading era), and for the actual price of postage!

Molly thanks for posting a GOOD experience!

:) My Pleasure!

Good to hear, Mollybee. This spring I took alot of time packaging seeds for trade. I updated my trade-list and began getting some interest. To date, I have sent out over 50 mailings of seed and received lots of wonderful seeds from others. Some of my mailings were not trades, but SASE's, and in most cases I just paid the postage instead, unless the other person insisted. So far, only one mailer got lost in the postal service (to Canada), and I remailed the same seeds..so hopefully the recipient will still have time to plant.

I've met some really nice people during this seed trading time, and the postage for sending out seeds is generally around 50 cents each. Having a good visit and making connections for future trades was well worth whatever I spent, not to mention all the valuable seeds I've gotten in return.

Keeping track of trades is such a difficult thing to do when you have lots of trades going on. First of all, each person has two names... an online name and a real name. I had to make a cross reference sheet to keep track of who was who... I'm terrible with names! I've been doing most of my dealing by email, so I also had to be able to identify email addresses, since not all messages were 'replies'.

Eventually, I decided to start a Word document for each trade with the web name for each trader followed by their email address, followed by their mailing address. That way, I could cut and paste our correspondence from the original emails and keep track. I'm sure I've made some mistakes here and there, buy hopefully I've followed up on all of them, including inquiring as to whether seeds have been received. I've even created files to move docs from pending to completed. It sounds like a lot of work, but I want to make sure I follow through.

Whenever I send seeds, I always consider them a gift. That way, I don't feel cheated if my seeds don't arrive. And, if the recipient lets me know how much they enjoy the seed, or how well the plants do, I get my gift, as well. I have to say that most people have given me much more, one way or another, than I have given them.

MaVieRose once said that she trades with non-members in the hope they will see what a good thing Dave's Garden is and join. I've tried to apply that this spring, and I think it worked in a couple cases, at least! Everytime I encourage someone to join Dave's, it's a much greater gift than the seeds I send.

What a wonderful way to look at things Weez! I only wish I was as organized as you! That'll give me something to work on though.
Thanks for your input!

Molly that's so great. I don't really do allot of trading anymore but I get request for SASE all the time and most are from non subscribed. I always try to talk to them and let them know they are welcome to the seed for a SASE and let them know they would probably get more trades if they joined. There have been a few that did join. And tons that never sent the SASE and in most cases I try to follow up and see if they still want the seeds so I can delete it out of my files if they are not interested anymore.Molly sounds like you might have made a new friend and maybe they will decide to join DG.

Yea I think so, we have talked several times back and forth in e/mails and maybe I can talk her into joining us!

I think it's great that we can all decide for ourselves how we want to trade or share seeds, or if we even want to do it. I haven't had experience with trading live plants, and I can see where that might become a can of worms. There is a greater investment in mailing them out and a greater possibility of damage or loss in the mail.

I think many of the problems evolve when the line of connection between traders fails. I know I have contacted people to ask if they'd received their seeds only to be told they'd already sent a reply. After checking back, they were almost always right and I was confused. Communication is the key, I think. Most of us understand if we know what's going on.

I hope I have never not sent something I was suppose to. I know I have about 3 I need to send out now, just been waiting for warmer weather up north. I did have one incident where I never received a plant that was supposedly sent (and very well may have been), so I didn't send my side of the trade. I was never comfortable about the whole thing because if it was sent, I felt bad that she was out the postage, but I didn't get it. Then if I sent something, I got nothing in return and was out the postage (this was more than base priority, larger plants). This was a subscriber exchange. Sometimes it's just hard to figure what's fair.

Weezi - have you tried the trade tracker here in the menu box?? I really works great. I don't do a lot of trading anymore either - but it is like a diary, you can look back and see who got what, even if it was sase.

You know, Azalea, I never have used the trade tracker. I'll have to take a look at that option. It's probably easier than the way I'm doing it. Thanks.

Gingerlily: As I've said before, I'm sure that these trades become more serious when significant money is spent shipping plants rather than seeds... and the success of the transaction depends on everyone doing precisely the right thing at the right time so that the plants arrive in a timely manner and in good condition. It's a lot trickier.

I still think the biggest problems in trades come from a lack of communication. More often than not, folks want to please each other, but they get forgetful or offer more than they can provide.. whatever the case. And my other theory is that one should never enter a trade that is worth more than they can afford to lose.

When i first starting trading seeds,i made
a lot of mistakes. I have learned from them
though. I've had some very nice people share
rooted cutting's with me and didn't want
any postage in return. A lot of people have
shared many seeds with me and asked for
nothing in return. I thank them for their
kindness. I have forgot to mail seeds and
hope i don't owe anyone,if so let me know.
In the long run,i hope to repay these kind
people with something i have to share,
oneday. I've met many nice people here and
are meeting new traders everyday. It's all
for the love of gardening. Gardeners are
the best in my book! If i don't get a trade.
Oh well,i don't sweat the small stuff,time
is tooooo short! Love Ya...bitty1

You are soo right bitty! The way I look at it is like this, If someone sends me seeds or plants and doesn't want anything in return, I try to keep an eye out on their post/threads just in case I have something they are wanting. Then if all else fails, I do the same as they did I pass on the favor by sending seeds/plants to someone who I feel really would enjoy them and I tell them the postage is on me! So I guess I kinda pass the ole buck sorta speak.

I joined DG the minute I"bumped" into it on the web. New to DG and computers in general I posted questions about anything I could thinkof (still new,still posting). I got the most amazing amount of REAL advice in return, so thrilling really.
I also got a post from Wheezin saying she would send of some seed. Oh thats nice I thought, and almost forgot completely untill one very crumy day (wallet stolen, kids sick, etc..etc..) This Amazing beautiful package of seeds arrives,not one pack, a package of packs, each specialy ilustrated. Well I was so touched, and the kids so excited. That I've shown the Package to all my girlfriends and my mom,they all ooh and aah in genuine delight. Everyone is so touched to see real kindness that the seeds have borne tremendous fruit before we've even planted them. So keep trading and keep having a positive attitude,This world needs it!!

Miggy, I know of what you speak, because one day, out of the blue when I had no idea it was on the way, one of Wheezie's packages arrived in my mail. Beautiful designs, so neatly packaged with care, so nicely labelled. And to think, she lives in Alaska! We tend to think of that part of the country as all ice and snow and barren, even when we know better. The idea of her sending seeds to the south central part of the country was somehow amazing and amusing to me. She is one of the stellar subscribers to DG, and she is not alone. Stick around and enjoy, the best is just ahead.

Bless your hearts, now you've made my day even sunnier!

Although I haven't had the pleasure of trading with you Weez I still think you are pretty neat since you do these nice things for DG folks! Makes me smile just hearing all these nice things about a fellow gardener.
Seems you are warming hearts all over the place..keep up the good work!

Add to her generosity, her fantastic sense of humor, and you just can't stop smiling. Weez, you may take a deep bow, you have been discovered! I like old Dennis, too.

(Blush, blush) My first impulse is to insist other do more on Dave's (which they do!) but it's nice to bask in a bit of praise. You guys are such sweeties! The truth is, I get so much pleasure out of making those seed packets and filling them with seeds, not to mention knowing all those green babies will be growing all over the world! I had no idea that Miggy's seeds arrived on a day that needed a pick-me-up, so hearing that makes my day, as well! Aimee, you are one in a million, and Mollybee, you're welcome to seeds any old time you want them!

:)Weez

Ya know I think you are like some of the others here, you read post/threads and you see what folks here are feeling or what kinds of problems they are dealing with and you feel the urge to send that "pick-me-up" package...and it seems to come just at the right time. I have recieved mail like that where I thought that I didn't have a friend in the world...then right out of the blue I'd get a plant/package/card or seeds from someone here at DG! I have been on the recieving end and I know just how they feel!

Remember the movie about 'paying it forward'? We have the same philosophy in Alaska. When newcomers (Chichakos) move to Alaska, the old timers (Sourdoughs) would help them out. When the newcomers wanted to pay them back, they'd tell them to just offer help to the next chichako.

I think that's a great philosophy, since the giver has already experience the benefits of giving and doesn't need repayment most of the time. I've been on both ends of this sort of thing myself, and I've never forgotten the good feeling one gets in either case.

Weez, when I got your seeds (the first ones I ever got from DG!!), I was so excited and amazed at your generosity! I gave them a big kiss and then I took them to work the next day and showed off the beautiful seed packets to everyone who wasn't quick enough to avoid me! everyone has been so generous, I hope to have plenty to share next year with others!

I'm so glad you enjoyed the seeds and the packets, Carena! I'm glad I could be the first DG'er at your garden gate with a welcoming gift! .. but most definitely not the last! You're welcome to seed from my tote any old time, Carena.

I wish you could send a snowman, I didn't see a single flake this year!!

I think you're going to have to ask someone on the Northeast coast for that, Carena. We didn't get much snow up here either. It's been the strangest winter we've seen in a long time. We'd usually have a couple feet of snow on the ground this time of year, but we've only got a few patches. We're having a cold snap now, and the poor plants that thought it was spring are sitting there shivering. I hope I don't lose any of them. We depend on our snow for mulch here.