the perfect mall

we went Christmas shopping tonight and all the stores are so expensive!!! I have decided I'm going to build the perfect mall.
The stores will include Walmart, Target, Toys R Us, Lowe's, the 99cent store and Big Lots. and recliners with tvs for breaks and fast food where they bring it to you.

And state-of-the-art, self-cleaning bathrooms!

and every checkout has a person working it.

and every item has the correct sticker, and everything is on sale!

How about serving beer for our DH when they go shopping and get tired?

How's about couches complete with TV sets, snack foods nearby to purchase so they can keep up with the latest ball games, etc. while we ladies shop till we drop?

Even better, home delivery of all of the above!! Dial, order, and deliver, gift wrapped of course!!

"eyes"

oh yeah! this is getting better and better. but I still want at least the virtual equivalent of a mall, I do like going out once a year:)

Download a virtual mall, and follow the above instructions!! Then go out and have a lovely dinner somewhere in the Holiday district.

"eyes"

tiG, some of your plan was carried out in NJ. There was Seaview Square Mall, a regular mall which no one went to, as too close to a better mall only 4 miles north, then another upscale mall opened to the west, where everyone used to come from to Seaview. So, they tore it down, and put in many of the stores you named, plus Value City. They need to get up to speed with your recliner/food service idea though!

May I add Valet Parking to your requirements for the perfect shopping experience?

John

oh man! I was gonna patent this! :) yes, valet parking is great! and someone to take each package as I buy it straight to my car!!!

It would be wonderful, too, if all the clerks were familiar with the merchandise and where in the store to find it, and if all of those salespeople were happy, had fair employers, liked their jobs and made good money so that they would be friendly, helpful and smile!

Or someone to follow you around and carry your packages....
Tig, sounds great, havent even started shopping yet...(well, actually I did go out the other night, but it was a quick trip..in and out in less than an hour) I dread the crowds at this time of year, and you would think that people would be happy..but they aren't, they are rude, and have a scowl on their faces and just not pleasant at all.

maybe we need a magic wand to turn everyone's frowns upside down, and put them in a happy mood!

in my virtual mall all unhappy frowning people are not allowed but if you sing or hummmm you get an extra special gift for yourself. also no hubbies allowed or he will know what that special gift is and won't be surprised when it's under the tree marked from him to you lol.

This sounds great. I might become a better shopper - I don't know if that's a good thing though.

I would want clerks that know the merchandise available all over the store so if you have a question you just look around and ask. Friendly clerks only allowed. Stores with unusual items also that are cheap but tasteful. A computer program that shows what your family and friends have looked at and desired so you can select a gift easily. Clothing stores that have mirrors that show you thinner than you really are. A place where parents can drop off their children so they are safe while the parents shop. Kinda like a coat check. A really good restaurant that features a daily buffet for the same price at lunch and dinner.

You guys are nutso! The only REAL reason to go shopping is to buy tools or other boy toys. Therefore the only stores the mall really needs are Lowes, Home Depot, Sears and Ace Hardware. No women allowed unless thay have a CDL or ride a Harley. ROFLOL

kikisdad!!! Mercy, those are my favorite stores! Can't I go too? Please!!!

Elena,
Weeell as long as you come in a pick up truck I guess it'll be OK.
I forgot the other indispensable store... Radio Shack. need those cheap small parts for the electrical gizmos we can't live without.

Thanks Kikisdad, I will not have to give up Radio Shack either. That is great. Yes, we always go to those stores in our "every-day" truck (Old Yeller). It is a sight but can take the beatings from carrying "goodness knows what all" (I'm a Southerner and actually talk like that. LOL) Now, the Sunday truck is another matter. We go to plant swaps, camping and to D.G. Roundups and "singings" in it. I don't want any of Y'all to think I am a country bumpkin, you see! TiG, gardenwife and Eyes are going to read this most likely and they know what a sophisticated city gal I really am. Hardy har har!!!! Hope Shoe isn't anywhere around!!!! Eyes, I love that Grinch! I have copied and pasted it into my collection of clip art.

I have one addition to the recliners: make them massaging recliners like the ones at Sharper Image that have rollers in them to massage your legs and your back. These things are wonderful inventions! A personal masseusse would do the trick, too :)

with those recliners we would have to add personal shoppers. now way would i give that up to walk around and carry bags lol

kikisdad,
I drive one of two pickup trucks and my husband is the one who drives the car. LOL I love those stores and often have things that are there on my shopping list. May I be another woman who can shop there too, Please? I am pleading with you to not keep this handymanwoman out of her favorite stores. After all I did say that I wanted sales people who know the merchandise and friendly ones too. Please?

I had a pickup, sure do miss it!!!

I couldn't live without my pickups! I have one big one for big loads and the little one for little loads and good gas mileage. Yesterday I had to take the car and saw three things along the road that I could have gotten if I had the pickup. I could have had a sheet of plywood, a bale of hay, and a couple of 4 foot 2x4's that were along the freeway. :( I was in Home Depot and saw a great deal on crooked 2x4's that I couldn't get either! I can use crooked 2x4's for animal pens. And now kikisdad wants to keep women out of Home Depot. I NEED admittance to his list of stores.

OK OK I recant all the stuff about no women (actually was just kidding anyhows)! What good would a mall be with none of the fairer sex shopping in it. Besides I need DW to help load all the "stuff" we get at these places LOL.

I would just like to have a mall where salespeople will stop their private conversations among themselves, smile and greet me while looking me in my eyes before they take my money.

The Sears store at our local mall just added shopping carts like grocery stores! Now if they would only have those electric carts for us cripples it would be even better. Ever try to hobble on crutches or with a cane across a crowded mall in the holiday season?

lupinelover, yes I haveas last year at this time I was on a walker. It is not fun to do and I am so happy that Sears is getting shopping carts. I was complaining under my breath last week about not having a cart in Sears when into my eyesight came a man wheeling one! LOL Talk about a miracle!! I was so happy to see that and then when I went to get one, they were all gone :(

Hey I drive our truck (one ton Dodge Ram dually). DH calls me "big mama" when I drive it. Speaking of trucks - my 21 year old dd's dream truck is a 4x4 diesel Ford 350. A son of a friend of ours was over one day. Tom is 25 and very good looking and such a "sweetie". He was trying to sell us life insurance. We were sitting around the kitchen table when my husband told Tom about my dd's wish and made some kind of snide remark. Tom said - he thinks women who drive those trucks are "sexy". Kind of made this old lady (me) and dd feel very special that day.

Reference Sears - haven't seen any carts but they could sure use them.

Thanks for allowing all of us in your stores kikisdad. I can now haul some of your stuff home for you in one of my pickup trucks and if you need more room for your stuff to travel I do have two trailers that I can bring. LOL

We thought of a few things that this imaginary mall should have a restroom that is truly sanitary! Have you seen how bad some of those places get? YUCK I wouldn't even make my goats or pigs go in those rooms. Let alone want my child to walk in and use one. Also there should be a computer store there that stocks everything you ever would need for your computer or printer or anything associated with them for the best prices ever, of course. And the best nursery on the planet with the greatest prices ever or free stuff all around for us committed gardeners. LOL "They" will have us committed for just writing more on this thread. LOL