Turning into your mother

My mom is this little 4'11" 100 lb lady who raised 8 children. There is 27 years age difference between the oldest and the youngest. Once, when all children, husbands and grandchildren were at her house for dinner, she was in the kitchen chopping veggies, house full of kids making enough noise to raise the dead and Mom's last nerver was a bit raw. I asked her why she had decided to have 8 kids. Her anwser you ask? While waving her chopping knife in my face, with her two youngest children and 3 of her grandkids running through the kitchen raising cane, she looked me directly in the eye and said, "It seemed like such a waste to go to H3!! for killing just one kid, now EVERYONE out of my kitchen!". We all still laugh about that one.

Annie

Annie,

Sometimes we as parents can be really challenged, yes? I remember Bill Cosby's line, "I brought you into this world and I can take you out!" Makes me laugh so hard.

Oh Badseed, that is so funny! I remember one time I was shopping with my youngest daughter and she was So ready to leave, really bugging me, and I said to her " I waited 9 months for you, you can wait 10 minutes for me". I thought that was a pretty good line because she really laughed. I didn't like taking them shopping but sometimes you have to.

"I'm gonna stop this car if...."

"for little kids to ask questions about"

"STIFLE" (my sis uses it with her kids but it doesnt work because we both start cracking up because this was my dad's favorite word)

he also sang this song:
fuzzy wuzzy was a bear
fuzzy wuzzy had no hair
fuzzy wuzzy wasnt very fuzzy was he?

cracked me up and for most of my life i thought he made it up, up until just a couple years ago when I heard someone else saying it!

and i always HATED - if your friends jumped off a bridge would you?? that one was always from someone we ALL know and love...CoCo... uhhh...thanks mom.....

i actually think they used the Bill Cosby stand up routine as an instructional class for soon-to-be-dads

LOL....Like his whole bit about Adam and Eve and how kids have brain damage. "Why did you eat the apple?" "I dunnnnno...." LOL

Do sons become their fathers too???/

My X husband had this thing when he was mad at me,he'd wave his finger in my face and he'd say"You listen here Missy"(my name is NOT missy!)

Well my daughter and son were fighting and My son did the same exact thing to his sister....We all just stood there looking at each other and burst out laughing ...even he relized he sounded just like his father.....

But now when he or my 2DH wanna tick me off thats what they say.....

My Mom's favorite saying was ,"wait till I get my wooden spoon ",we'd all scatter.
The wooden spoon thing came to an end though...she was coming up stairs with it ..I knew I was the target.....I slipped a book down my pants on my butt,well, she was so angry she didn't see it and grabbed me by the arm and started spanking......and "The SPOON broke in half" She started laughing so hard she forgot what she was spanking me for

I've always said books are good things......

Edited to add this....

my Dads favorite saying was"I hope you have children that grow up to be just like you".........and he didn't mean that in a good way ..LOL

This message was edited Friday, Aug 30th 5:30 AM

You made my morning reading these!It's really scary the first time that those 'words' pop out of your mouth, they just seem to come from nowhere !!:-)
My Dad's favourite if he didn't want to play was ,'I've got a bone in my leg.....!'and yes, i've said it to mine too.
Others were

'pick your lip up off the floor'

'who threw the dolly out of the cot then!'

And the 'LOOK', oh yes !!!! I had that off to perfection,there's a big age gap between my three eldest and my youngest, so they all gave her advice on how to handle me !!! and they always say watch out for the 'look','cos you know you're in trouble.i still remember thinking 'I'm in for it now' when I got it from my Mum.LOL
But now I'm about to reap my revenge,one of my daughters has just told me she's expecting ,(I'm soooooo thrilled)I always warned them that when they had a family and came moaning to me saying 'they've done this...or that' I'll just say, now you know what it feels like then !
It's quite strange because my second youngest works in Rhodes in the summer , but comes home for the winter, and when she's with Jazz(the youngest)it's like listening to me in action, so I guess it's there already !!And if we both tell her off at the same time, it's in stereo,LOL so everyone ends up laughing anyway.

You know, I never thought of it from the grandmother's point of view. I'll bet my mother just loves hearing her words come out of my mouth.

Congratulations on your impending Grandmaship Sueone!

I've just remembered something my Mother says which I never really worked out. In the midlands of England we rarely say she, it's usually 'her' (it was 'er oo dun it) She would say (and still does) 'Who's 'her'? The cats mother?

oh Baa, yeah that was thrown at me often, I'd forgotton it until now:-)(and I've said it mine too )
Thanks for the congrats, thought I was never going to be one,I keep lookimg in the shops at all the lovely stuff, can't wait.
When mine were little couldn't afford to buy nice stuff as a single Mum, so had to make most or hand me downs, now I have the opportunity to buy things that I like!!!:-)

Sueone My Mother says that too about all her grandchildren, she was so happy she could finally afford to buy the gifts she wanted to buy. It must be a wonderful feeling!

My Father took me aside when I reached 15 and asked whether I was pregnant yet ... horrified I said no way, I'm only 15! He sat down, looked hard at me and said, 'Well, I can't rely on your brothers to give me grandchildren so it has to be you and soon. I've been waiting a long time for grandkids.' LOL he was quite serious and told me other girls of my age were getting pregnant. I'm lucky to have had such support back then even if it was quite dubious *G*

One thing that still stays with me is when my father used to call our names (and he would get us mixed up), he didn't ever want to hear us yell "WHAT" when he called we better be up front and ready. to this day, if I call my kids names, they don't holler back, they come front and center LOL! Except it is a bit different as they live so far away now!

Oh Baa,isn't it funny how we seem to set store about carrying on the family? My hubby who I'm married to now is upset because there will be no boys in his family to keep on the family name,we had a little girl, and I'm sure, if he could he'd make her future hubby (if she ever gets married !) change his name to hers !!!
My Dad was a softie haighr, it was my Mum that was the boss in our family, if Mum said something you did it, or if you didn't you were in trouble you'd get the 'silence' treatment which could last for days on end. And as most of the time it was just Mum and me there,(Dad worked away)that could be very hard, especially if you'd been grounded too !!!I always said that I'd never do that to my kids, but it's hard to break the mould sometimes ,LOL.
They always say that if you're going to marry someone look at the mother, as that's what they'll be like in yeras to come, scary :-)

Anyone ever get the "1-2-3" routine? I'm going to count to three and if you don't do what I told you to do, you're done for!

Here's one I heard said once by a friend and I couldn't stop laughing at the time. She's from Trinidad:
"I'm going to knock you to the moon, round past Jupiter, come back Tuesday next week."

My father's favorites: ...For me to know and you to find out...

but my very favorite of his was... behind the at. I still use it with young kids, family members or very good friends who persist in ending a sentence with a preposition. One of my carpenter's helpers finally gave me a soft-sided "@" she found (an advertising gimmic) because I said it so much!

OK - what about some funny stuff our parents did? I always fought going to bed and my bedtime was precisly 8:00 pm when I was little. ( Then only exception was Tuesday evenings when Red Skelton show was on.) So my dad would get up from his easy chair and amble into the kitchen supposedly for something to drink. From the den in one end of the house - I'd hear him from the beginning of the hallway leading to the bedrooms - and he's yell... "LAST ONE IN THE BED IS A ROTTEN EGG!!!!!" Then - he'd stand aside because I'd be screamming thru there in a blue streak about 2 seconds later! Worked like a charm for years... Then came the day I realized he'd been setting me up. So I hid in a dark corner and waited for him to get set up you see... Then I jumped out and yelled it behind him before he could! Oh turnabout was such fair play! I'm in stitches even now over the look on his face....

I think I have used most of these but my favorite is "The Look". When my first grandaughter was about 4 my daughter came to visit and sat at the table very serious and asked me to teach her how to do the "momma look" because hers didn't seem to work! I had to laugh and we spent hours sitting there making faces at each other and my grandaughter until she gave up! Poor thing has 3 kids now and still can't seem to get the "look" right. But it still works for grandma!

talking about funny things parents did made me think of my poor old Mum's attempt at 'the birds and the bees' talk.Our family was never one to discuss'things'or show emotions.
i must have been about 11/12, and i used to sleep in her bedroom at night while Dad worked away.I had just started grammar school.
Well, we were lying there in the dark,and she asked me if I knew about periods yet.'Oh yes' replies i quick as a flash,'we have french first period, games second, and P.E. after break'Poor Mum, she just muttered something,and left it at that. It wasn't until a few years later that I realised what she'd been trying to do !!!!My fist two periods I was so scared 'cos I didn't know what was happening, and was too scared to ask my Mum.I made certain that my kids could talk to me about anything,as I didn't want them to be in that position, in fact when I went to talk to them about 'life' I think they already knew more about it than me LOL

I read this and then found this joke. I couldn't resist:


MOM taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning!"

MOM taught me about TIME TRAVEL:
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

MOM taught me LOGIC:
"Because I said so, that's why!"

MOM taught me FORESIGHT:
"Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident."

MOM taught me IRONY:
"Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about."

MOM taught me about the science of OSMOSIS:
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

MOM taught me about CONTORTIONISM:
"Will you *look* at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

MOM taught me about STAMINA:
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is finished!"

MOM taught me about HYPOCRISY:
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't exaggerate!"

MOM taught me about ENVY:
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

And most of all...MOM taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE:
"I brought you into this world - and I can take you out!"

That's exactly what this thread it about, Sqwidgetz. Perfect choice. :)

thanks for brightening my day Sqwidget, fuuny , but true.

I also remember my Mother saying "Clean your plate. You remeber the children in Taiwan and how hungry some of them were? How can you waste this much food." I remember thinking that I didn't dish this plate up and if I had I would have only taken a taste of this food because I know what an awful cook you are (we did live in Taiwan and I did see hungry children). I never had the nerve to say this but I sure wanted to. I ate most of my meals at my best friends house before I came home to dinner. Her Mom was a GREAT cook. giggle. No wonder I am fat what with eating two dinners most every night!

squisget, printing those out. that's great.

what is really scaring is becoming your grandma!! i have stacks of stuff and i go thru once in a while but always end up with stacks.

Zany, I can just picture you doing the faces with your DD. ROTF!

Split this long puppy into a new thread -- continue on here: http://davesgarden.com/s/349602.html

This message was edited Friday, Sep 6th 5:46 PM

Gardenwife and all of you. I was quoted incorrectly. It should be:

Oh, THAT"s alright....(sigh) The accent on the proper word is what makes this such a longsufferer.

Lotusblossom, you're a hoot!!!

new thread alert http://davesgarden.com/s/349602.html